- Where am I most fearful of conflict? – What part of my life am I acting out of avoidance? Knight of Cups Rx
- How does my fear of conflict affect my life? – How does my choice to avoid conflict affect my situation? What does it do to me? Queen of Cups Rx
- What am I afraid of confronting? – What is it that I am most terrified of confronting during conflicts? What am I most afraid of? 2 of Swords
- What is the worst that can happen? – What can happen? How can I prepare for it? Is it really as bad as I think it could be? King of Cups
- What can guide me to overcome this? – What can help me avoid and overcome my fear? Strength
The Knight of Cups Rx suggests that I’m avoiding searching the dark corners of my own heart; those places where I hide the truth I don’t want to face. However, I don’t think this, in any way, is about my shadow side, because that is actually something I’m fairly comfortable working with. I think this is about the places where I hide my inner hopes and dreams; the areas I’m afraid to even attempt to manifest because to fail would break my heart. As many of us do I have buried certain dreams in my subconscious as I grew older. Either because of obligations, or reality, or self-doubts, I buried them and stayed away from that corner of untapped possibilities. I avoid this region of my heart to prevent myself from feeling the pain and melancholy it causes.
The Queen of Cups Rx tells me that this fear of facing that part of myself has led to me not being able to fully nurture and embrace my more emotional intuitive nature. I certainly stated to friends and I’m sure I’ve posted here that my least favorite suit of Tarot is Cups. One of my favorite expressions is I will take Swords over Cups any day. Why? This reading is forcing me to face the fact that I do this as a form of protection. When I have to face the emotional pain that some of my choices have caused I don’t know how to deal with it, so I avoid. Since my husband’s death, I have been coaxed, coerced, and guided, thanks to Tarot, into exploring and embracing this side of myself more deeply. Of course this is still in its formative stage, and I have to be dragged towards it kicking and screaming.
The 2 of Swords points out but what I’m afraid of confronting is reality. I have managed to protect my heart and avoided seeing the damage that has caused, the havoc it has wreaked. It looks like my ability to continue successfully in this endeavor is no longer in my best interest. I packed myself into a corner and the only way out is taking off the blinders and seeing what’s really going on around me; facing the areas of my life I’ve been avoiding.
The worst that can happen is I’ll become the King of Cups in my own life. I will be more compassionate with myself, and others. I will be more sympathetic, more open to possibilities, more gentle kind and loving, to myself and others. I will be able to embrace and manifest my dreams without fear of being overwhelmed by them. I will be able to embrace, and nurture, and celebrate not just my hopes and dreams, but the world’s
Strength suggests that what will help me overcome these fears is Herman, my pet lion. Just kidding. Strength is reminding me that I have the inner fortitude and strength of will to manifest what I want in my life; to achieve the goals I set my mind to achieving. In fact that is also something that I am off and afraid to confront. I am powerful, and I very often succeed once I set my mind to manifesting a goal. Embracing our own inner power can be a terrifying reality to face. This is something I have been tap dancing around for many years. Strength is showing me that it’s time to accept and work with this ability.