Week 7 Autumn Equinox Spread (#TarotReading #LePsychoTarot #52WeekProject)

I found this spread on Litha Rose’s website and thought it would be a great way to celebrate the Sabbat!

1. What is my harvest? (Celebrate this!)  Temperance Rx –  Temperance Rx shows that my harvest is forging the things I want to do and the things I must do into a balanced and cohesive whole.  This is still a work in progress for me but I am very happy with the success I’ve had so far.  Temperance is always a challenge for me because it speaks of moderation and being temperate, neither of which are innate to my nature.

2. How can I best spend this autumn season?  8 of Cups Rx –  Seeing this card made me hear the song Let It Go.  To me, it’s about putting the mourning behind me; about focusing on what I want to bring into my life going forward, not what I have to leave behind. That doesn’t mean I won’t always miss my husband, simply that I won’t lose myself in the grief.

3. How can I best close off this year?  The Chariot – I can best close off this year by taking the reins of my own life. It’s been a challenge since my husband passed away, taking over the responsibility for things that I always let him handle. It’s made me passive in certain aspects of my own life. I think the Chariot is showing that it’s time to pick those reins up again and start becoming more focused about where I want to steer my course.

4. How can I find more balance in my life?   4 of Coins – Unlike the usual imagery for this card, this 4 of Coins seems more about conserving one’s physical essence and tending to ones health. Or maybe that’s what I’m seeing because that is what would be extremely appropriate for me right now. I’ve been so focused on taking care of others for the past few years that I have lost sight of my own health. This card points out that I need to be more balanced in this respect and start to put my own physical concerns and health needs on a par with those of others.

5. What can I find if I descend in the dark and look inward?  2 of Cups Rx – I will find true emotional balance. I will find a way to merge and blend the light and dark halves of my spirit and heart. If there is one thing I’ve learned since my husband died, it’s that a relationship with someone else requires compromise, which forces us to downplay or give up pieces of who we are. Whether we want to acknowledge it or not, in a truly beneficial, loving relationship, both parties change certain aspects of their personality in order to maintain a healthy relationship. Perhaps we drop interest in certain things because our partner doesn’t enjoy them. Or we don’t want to force participation in an activity they won’t enjoy. One of the most interesting aspects I’m finding about widowhood is that I don’t have to compromise with anyone anymore. I can do what I want, when I want. That is both amazingly freeing and absolutely terrifying! And I think it pertains to this card because what it’s showing is that right now is that descending into darkness will help me strengthen and further explore my relationship with myself.

Week 6 Tarot Spread for Autumn: The Hanged Man Season (#TarotReading #LePsychoTarot #52WeekProject)

My friend Diane sent me a link to this reading from the Llewellyn website.  I thought it looked interesting and decided to use it as my spread for this week.  I find the message the cards have given me to be fascinating (of course I would, it’s about my life 😉)

Pile One:
Top Card: The Hanged Man Question: What do I currently need to let go of and release in my life?  8 of Cups
Bottom Card: An additional message from The Hanged Man. 7 of Swords Rx

Pile Two:
Top Card: The Chariot Question: Where should I put my focus for moving forward?  3 of Cups
Bottom Card: An additional message from The Chariot.  9 of Cups

Pile Three:
Top Card: Ancestors Question: Advice from the Ancestors.  Ace of Cups
Bottom Card: More advice from the ancestors.  King of Coins/Earth.

The 8 of Cups is showing me that what I need to release is my emotional connection to things which meant something in my past but no longer resonate for me. One of the first things that comes to mind is my doll collection. I have a rather large collection of Barbie and other fashion dolls and they haven’t sparked Joy in quite some time. It’s time for me to let them go so I can make room in my life for something new. I also think this refers releasing any lingering guilt about the situation with my brother-in-law. Intellectually, I understand that what I’m doing is not only the right thing, it’s the best thing. However that doesn’t mean I’m not occasionally hit with twinges of regret and frustration that I have to make this decision; that I was left to clean up this mess. The addition of the seven of Swords reversed suggests to me that the guilt I’m taking on isn’t mine to bear. What I need to release is feeling responsible for other people’s burdens. It’s time to start reclaiming my own life, and the only way I can do this is to stop carrying guilt, sorrow, and emotional entanglements that hamper me from moving forward.

The 3 of Cups shows me that my focus should be on finding what sparks joy in my life; finding new friends and social connections that help me enjoy and celebrate what awaits me down this road. Instead of saying no to things, I need to start saying yes and open myself up to the fun and happiness that can bring. This seems to be even more reinforced by the 9 of Cups, which certainly suggests feeling emotionally fulfilled and having your wishes come true. It’s time for me to take control and steer my path along the road that will bring fun, joy, happiness, and emotional fulfillment.

My ancestors seem to be reinforcing the message abov by giving me the Ace of Cups. Once again, I get a sense of reconnecting with my heart; rediscovering things that bring me joy and a sense of contentment and happiness. It is enhanced by the King of Coins, which tells me that once I find my emotional core and reconnect with my inner dreams, live a more heart centered life, I will finally realize my own worth and feel better able to deal with the practical day-to-day realities. I will become the ruler of my life; become more grounded, practical, and learn to appreciate and care for my body as well as my heart, mind and soul.

This reading has been illuminating in many ways; reinforcing some things I already knew. It’s helped me fine tune where I need to channel my energies as well as come closer to accepting other things which I’ve known for some time but resisted.

Week 4 – Being Oblivious (#TarotReading ##LePsychoTarot #52WeekProject)

For this moon cycle I’ve decided to switch up my decks and use the Le Psycho Tarot. This is a French Canadian reissue of a 1974 deck, originally called The New Tarot, created by William Hurley and J.A. Horler. It has a very late ’60s early/’70s vibe to it and hasn’t been appreciated in a while, so I thought it was time.

This week I’ve been a little all over the place so I decided that I was going to focus on:

  • What am I ignoring or oblivious to that could improve or enrich my life?
  • How can I activate or tap into this?
  • What do I need to be cautious about while doing this?
King of Cups, Princess of Swords and 10 of Swords – Le Psycho Tarot

The first thing that struck me looking at the King of Cups is that he’s holding his heart in his hand, however he isn’t looking at it. He also seems to be completely naked. This tells me I’m ignoring things which will bring me emotional fulfillment and maturity. I may be able to hold my heart in my hands, but I’m not exploring it, I’m not considering what will make it healthy and whole again. I need to Bear my heart to my mind and be willing to face whatever truths arise. I have to become a counselor to my own heart because I’ve been avoiding this for too long. I have often been open about the fact that I prefer to avoid dealing with the suit of Cups and emotions because it’s not an area with which I’m comfortable. This kind of cups is showing me that I’m going to have to get over that discomfort and face some truths.

The Princess of Swords seems to be holding lightning in her hands. I find it interesting that it’s suggesting I can activate my emotional, heart energy by unleashing my mind, my mental energy; trapping lightning in a bottle. I also think the youthfulness implied by the Princess shows this is about learning to be more fluid in how I perceive and think about things, not rigid and fixed. Which is a trait I fully admit to having. It’s interesting because in the last few days I’ve been talking with friends quite a bit about the fact that this phase of my life feels very much like reconnecting with younger me. Becoming a widow has given me the independence and self-reliance that I had before boys became an interest. My inner warrior maiden has connected with my battle tested crone, if you will.

The last card I drew is the 10 of Swords. The hooded executioner figure certainly seems ominous but I think in this case his reflecting the end of a cycle that can now be put to rest. At the same time I think he’s warning me that I need to be cautious about any mental pain this whole process will unleash. Let’s face it healing isn’t a painless process. Whether it’s physical or psychological we often have to push past the pain so that we can start to get better. I think that’s what the 10 of Swords reflects here. Digging into one’s heart or psyche to release the toxins within gets worse before it gets better. If I give in to the pain and quit I’ve achieved nothing. So I think this executioner is reminding me that in order to align my chakras, and release that trapped untapped energy, if you will, I need to be willing to do the work and push through the pain. At the same time I need to be very clear that it’s okay to take breaks from the pain as long as they don’t become permanent. As my dear friend Diane often tells me, I need to remember to be gentle with myself.

So this is my fourth week of my 52 week project. I hope these readings are providing additional insights for anybody reading them. Granted they are fairly personal because I often find that I learn more from others experiences then from objective impersonal concepts.

Week 3 Tarot Reading – Enthrall Me (#TarotReading #SecretForestTarot #52WeekProject)

So this week I decided to do a little more exploration into The Moon card from my previous reading. In my interpretation I talked about finding something that would enroll in mesmerize me. During a conversation with a friend this week, she asked me what that might be. I realized I don’t necessarily have a clear idea at this point. So, I did what I always do I turned to Tarot to clarify things for me. And these were the cards I drew

I think the 2 of Cups reflects the loss of my husband, the loss of being in a loving, supportive, committed relationship. For so long, my life was focused on being part of a duo now it’s time to move beyond that to become a partner to myself. It reminds me of the book Imagine a Woman in Love with Herself. I think that’s what I need to become enthralled and mesmerized with – falling in love with myself. I need to learn how to be loving and supportive to myself and that’s where I need to focus my energies right now.

The 8 of Swords reversed ties into this by showing that in order to manifest this self-love I need to break free of the brambles in my path. They won’t hold me back unless I allow it. The best way for me to overcome them is to see the situation more clearly and improve my mindset. However it’s hard to see that right now because I feel as though I’m surrounded by brambles and can’t possibly find my way through. It’s rather like the original legend of Sleeping Beauty – the castle in which she slept was surrounded by an impenetrable fence of thorny brambles which presented all but those brave enough to even attempt to break through. Of course, in this situation the brambles aren’t physical they’re psychological and I’m not in need of someone else saving me. I can save myself as long as I believe in myself.

And last, but not least, we come to the Queen of Swords who shows me what will help me continue to nurture this energy. Once again, I am struck by the fact that this is a swords card, which means it’s about my mindset and my beliefs. I have the tools and the skills to cut through all this bullshit holding me back, but I have to actually use them. I can handle being alone but I also need to accept that there will be a learning curve, and cut myself some slack. I have to be realistic about what I can do alone and what I need help to achieve, and be willing to ask for that help when necessary. For me, the Queen of Swords here is about being smart and realistic and not thinking that I can tough it out.

I find it interesting that this reading starts out focusing on my emotions but then focuses on my state of mind. At the end of the day, if my mindset is negative I’m not going to be happy. It’s okay to have bad days but I need to be careful not to lose myself in the bad days. I do have faith in myself and I have the confidence that I can forge a new path going forward. It won’t be easy but I’m up to the challenge. In fact, I’m looking forward to the challenge.

Looking at my week ahead – Week 1 #TarotReading #SecretForestTarot #52WeekProject

So I know I’ve been missing for quite a while. Life’s been challenging but I want to get back into posting Tarot readings and other content to this blog and hopefully there’s still people out there who want to read it. So I decided to set a challenge for myself. I’m going to challenge myself to post at least one Tarot card reading a week for the next 52 weeks. For the most part they’ll be three card readings because those are just the types I prefer. This is my first entry.

Week 1 three card reading using the Secret Forest Tarot

I focused on “What will bring me joy this week?” “What will cause sorrow?” “What will help me balance between them?”

Temperance shows me that joy can come from moderation and finding the way to forge balance between my obligations (those things I must do) and my hobbies and interests (those things I want to do). It reminds me of the Serenity Prayer, and that I need to understand that certain things are just out of my control. No matter how much I try, I won’t make any headway with those. At the same, time there are steps I can take to try to change those circumstances. So, I need to focus on not causing myself stress by fighting against circumstances over which I have no control. I also need to allow myself to accept that it’s okay for me to have fun, even while dealing with these obligations. As the saying goes, all work and no play makes one a dull girl.

The 2 of Wands reversed speaks to me on two different levels. On a personal level, it’s pointing out that it’s okay to get frustrated over the fact that all my excitement over new adventures and new experiences is temporarily dashed. It doesn’t mean it’s forever, but at this point those goals are stymied. It’s also a reminder that I may see other people exploring new projects and opportunities and feel a little resentful because I’m in a holding pattern. Or, on a more macrocosmic level, I may see other projects that I don’t want to see come to fruition because I disagree with their goals or agenda. I just need to remind myself it’s okay to be said about all of that.

In between, the Page of Pentacles show that balance will be found in practical, grounded responses and reactions rather than my usual fiery and impulsive ones. I also think its reminding me to use this opportunity to learn more about myself and find ways to express my creativity and find fun in things I can do right now. It may be time to reacquaint myself with SARK.

Learning to become A Woman in Love with Herself (#Tarot #HauntedHouseTarot)

I recently started reading Imagine a Woman in Love with Herself by Patricia Lynn Reilly (or maybe re-reading it, I’m not sure) and I decided I wanted to focus on some of the ideas I came across in the first chapter (or maybe it’s the first stanza) of the book and do a Tarot reading for myself  So, using my creepily lovely Haunted House Tarot by the amazing Sasha Graham, I asked:
  1. How can I best love myself?  Death
  2. How can I release the impact sins of others have left upon my psyche?  6 of Wands Rx
  3. How can I walk through my past to heal my present?  3 of Cups Rx

Of course, being the snarky soul I am, my first response to Death was “Right, of course I’d have to die in order to learn to love myself.”   Sassy snark aside, I think what Death is truly trying to let me know is that in order to love myself I have to defeat those self-denigrating habits that prevent it.  I need to slay those inner demons who whisper poison in my soul (“you’re not good enough”, “no one really likes you”, “so & so does that much better than you do”), you know the drill.  I’m sure we all have moments when we’re pits of self-loathing with self-esteem and self-worth in the sub, sub-basement.  With the ways things are going lately it’s easy to allows these feelings to become overwhelming, because, as I mentioned in a previous post, being concerned about this kind of inner growth when the world around us seems to be going to shit feels self-indulgent and frivolous.  Well fuck that!  I have made a new resolution that the only way to make things better on a national or global scale is to make things better on a personal scale – as below, so above.  What needs to die are all those self-defeating behaviors and crippling self-doubts.  If I want to transform the world, first I need to transform myself!

The 6 of Wands is interesting because the image shows a woman on horseback freeing herself from the grasps of a crowd of hooded figures.  The LWB mentions that the woman is “breaking free of the brood”.  I think it’s showing me that the potential for feeling victorious & accomplished; the way to appreciate and embrace my achievements is to free myself from those self doubts and inner demons; these psychic scars left upon my soul by others.  The way to victory is to slay those damn fuckers, defeat those who thought they’d permanently damaged me, and let myself emerge transformed and starting to heal.

In the LWB the listing for the 3 of Cups mentions intoxication and drowning in pleasure.  Reversed, I feel as though I’m drowning my sorrows in distractions.  Instead of celebrating I’m self-medicating.  Granted, I’m not pouring booze down my throat but I do indulge in bouts of retail therapy or gorging on unhealthy food choices.  Once again I think the message of the reversal is that the only thing preventing my from celebrating my joy and happiness, exploring my dreams with friends and loved ones is that I need to free myself from those negative beliefs and inner demons (fucking inner demons are such a pain in my ass!).  The way forward is through and I need to charge through them and keep going even as they try to pull me back (I keep envisioning this struggle as Milo trying to free himself from The Doldrums in The Phantom Tollbooth)

I’m feeling rather inspired lately (which is a nice change) and I’m determined to keep moving forward even if my momentum is more like one step forward, two steps back.  At least it’s some progress.  It’s too easy to fall into despair and hopelessness but then they win – the demons both inner and outer, and I’ll be damned if I’m gonna let that happen.  I’m a fighter and all I need to do now is focus on the win so I can win!

#MessageoftheDay – 7 of Cups Rx, 2 of Wands & 8 of Cups (#MoonGarden #Tarot)

Today I focused on how to deal with the crazy because, to be perfectly honest, each new day convinces me even more that everyone is going cuckoo bananas. I’m not even trying to engage in debates with people any more because it seems like we’ve all picked a side and rabidly defend it, including me.

Anyway, between daily stress, COVID stress and political stress, I’m feeling like a piece of taffy bring stretched beyond reason. So I asked my handy dandy, wibbly wobbly Tarot deck for some insight on how to handle this. The response I received:

These cards show me that it’s all smoke and mirrors; the promises and rewards being offered are illusions. I can’t see the truth because it’s obfuscated by spin, rhetoric & implicit biases. I can’t find my way to that castle on the hill because the path is clouded and impossible to navigate.

If I want to create something for myself; to start a new project or partnership then I need to focus on myself. I need to start putting together the foundation that will help me get there. I need to unleash the energy and magic that will reveal the right path for me.

And finally, I need to know when it’s time to walk away. At certain points I need to release my emotional attachments to things which no longer serve me or help me progress forward. Whether these attachments are possessions, memories or views of myself and those around me, it’s time to let go. A reality check is needed and rose colored glasses contribute to the cloudy, obscured path I’m trying to move passed.

#MessageoftheDay – 4 of Staffs, 8 of Pentacles & 3 of Swords (#MoonGarden # Tarot)

Today I focused on what will aid me in staying on course with my new journaling goals. I drew:


To me, this reading is a reminder to keep my creative energies focused and balanced; not to overdo things and run out of steam (a tendency of mine).  I also need to reflect along the way so I can fine tune what I’m doing.  To fully real the benefits I also need to be willing to poke at myself; apply my analytical, rational side to evaluating emotional responses to situations.  To make lasting changes in my life I’ll need to sometimes be harsh, almost cruel, in my honesty because repeating the same patterns defeats the purpose.

I’m still enthusiastic about this process but this reading reminds me it’s not all fun and games, at least not if I want lasting, impactful change.

#ChattingwithTarot – 7 of Cups Rx, The Tower + Queen of Pentacles (#Dreamkeepers #Tarot)

Today’s ancestral message: “You’re deliberately ignoring the choices that are available to you; pretending they don’t exist. Instead, you’d rather bitch about the things you can’t do. You need to destroy that pointless, limiting mindset; grind it into the dust beneath your feet, so that you can start over again. You need to relearn who you truly are because you’re not the same person you were 10 years ago. Once you’ve asked yourself those questions you may find yourself in a place of fulfillment, confidence and contentment. You’ll also find yourself better able to nurture and sustain others because you’ll finally be able to nurture and sustain yourself.”

#ChattingwithTarot – Judgement, The Star + The Tower (#DreamKeepers #Tarot)

There’s a lot of battered and broken going on here; desolation and devastation, but at the core hope remains. I think my ancestors are reminding me that no matter how bad things get, how destructive they seem, hope remains.

Maybe there are important lessons that must be learned in the brokenness and devastation. What will be built after the rubble is cleared away will be better, stronger and healthier. There are always people willing to fight the good fight and I can choose to be a fighter or become part of the rubble.

My ancestors seem to be reminding me that in my core I’m an optimist. Despite how ugly and unpleasant things may get, I ultimately believe in the human spirit. I believe people are good. The trick is to remind them of that fact.