Week 18 What is Happiness Spread (#TarotReading #CrookedWayTarot #52WeekProject)

“Happiness lies not in finding what is missing but in finding what is present.” – Tara Brach

  1. What is missing from my life? The Moon
  2. What is present in my life? Art
  3. What will help me find happiness? Mistress of Skulls Rx
The Moon, Art & Mistress of Skulls from The Crooked Way Tarot

My first reaction seeing the Moon in answer to “What is missing in my life?” was that perhaps what I’m missing are dreams. The more I thought about it, the more wrong it felt. Then it hit me that the answer couldn’t be more obvious. The idea that anything is missing from my life is an illusion. Well, except for the obvious answer of my husband. However if I were to interpret the meaning of this card in that way it would completely contradict the whole point of the reading. So, perhaps the Moon is showing me that’s what’s missing is a need to howl at the Moon for things that aren’t really there and aren’t really necessary.

Art or Temperance showing up in response to “What is present in my life?” is especially impactful because I’ve drawn Temperance a number of times in the past year as something I need to aspire to or achieve. In this position the suggestion is that it has been achieved. This balance is present in my life and contributing to my happiness. On a practical level this is seen in my efforts to exercise more, eat more healthily and to take a little bit more time for myself. At the same time I’m trying to finalize arrangements for my brother-in-law’s move to a residential facility. This is not the final destination, but an action that will need regular recalibration.

Seeing the Mistress of Skulls Rx tells me that what will help me find happiness is getting familiar with my own heart and dreams; nurturing my emotional side. I think she’s showing me that a gentle, supportive exploration of my emotional responses and relationships would be a useful exercise to aid me in finding happiness. The reality is if I’m unable to process emotions and relationships, and listen to my heart, finding happiness will be an almost insurmountable challenge.

ADDENDUM:. A friend pointed out something I completely missed on The Moon card – the image of the moon has a clock face superimposed upon it. She suggested it was showing that time to do what I want might be something missing in my life. This is true but it’s also something that’s coming to an end soon. However what did strike me is that the hands of the clock are pointing at 10 and 2. When I was learning how to drive that was always the mantra of my driving instructor “keep your hands at 10 and 2 on the wheel”. So to me this suggested even if I haven’t had the time that soon coming to an end and I’ll be able to drive my life my own way.

Something else I missed in my initial interpretation of these cards is that the Mistress of Skulls is sitting at a desk writing in a book with a skull shaped mug before her. I think this is a practical suggestion for me – what will help me to find happiness is using tools like journaling, medication and relaxing with tea to help me explore my inner landscape, reacquaint myself with my inner emotions and desires.

Week 14 Election Spread (#TarotReading #HauntedHouseTarot #52WeekProject)

As tomorrow is Election Day and I think the outcome of the election is going to have significant long term consequences, I decided to do a reading about it. Using my trusty Haunted House Tarot, I asked the following three questions: 1 – What do we need to know about this election? 2 – What is the likely outcome of this election? 3 – what will help us heal and move forward after this election? Below are the answers I received.

Queen of Cups Rx, Queen of Pentacles Rx, and 8 of Cups Rx from The Haunted House Tarot by Sasha Graham and Micro Pierfederici

I think one would have to be living in a cave to not realize that this election may prove to be a highly contentious one in America whose outcome is likely to be challenged at various levels. The campaigning has been aggressive, filled with falsehoods and exaggerations on both sides, and haunted by the lingering specter of the former president’s claims of election fraud. If I have learned one thing watching people’s responses to the politicians running and their campaigns’ agendas, it’s that the majority of people are not being influenced by the facts but rather are motivated by their party affiliation and personal interests. How this may or may not impact the outcome of the election has yet to be seen. I find it rather frustrating that many of us are falling into the pattern of seeking out facts that reaffirm our existing belief system instead of trying to get to the truth. I don’t necessarily think this is different from the way we have all decided who to vote for in the past but it seems to have more impactful consequences this election.

I’ve decided I’m not going to offer any interpretation of these cards at this point because I’m honestly not clear on the message, except the final card. I think the 8 of Cups Rx is suggesting that the only way we can move forward as a nation is to leave the hurts and negative emotions behind us; let them stay in the past and try to work together in the future.

Addendum November 9, 2022: So, the election is over and some results are still being tabulated. As things stand right now, it looks like the Democrats lost both houses of Congress. That may change after every vote is counted, but I’m not very hopeful. I think the reversed Queens in this reading were telling me that emotions and financial considerations played a major role in how people voted (d’uh 🤦‍♀️) but that they weren’t operating from a nurturing, heart-centered mindset. Instead, fear and “mine, me, mine” won the day. How that will impact this country going forward will depend on how petty and vengeful those now in power become.

Week 12 Major Influences Spread (#TarotReading #HauntedHouseTarot #52WeekProject)

10 of Pentacles, 5 of Swords & 6 of Wands Rx from The Haunted House Tarot by Sasha Graham

I felt rather overwhelmed and befuddled this past week.  I’m still trying to get things resolved with regard to a housing situation for my brother-in-law or, rather, I’m waiting for the Department of Social Services to do so.  I realized they are a bureaucracy, and as such move at a glacial pace, however I have reached the end of my rope and can no longer sustain the current situation.  I am in the process of selling my mother-in-law’s house and once that is accomplished my brother-in-law needs to be gone.  I’m trying not to be harsh about the situation but I’ve been doing this for a year and a half with absolutely no relief and have reached the end of my internal resources.  It came to a head earlier this week when my brother-in-law’s caseworker asked me to postpone the sale.  To say you could have knocked me over with a feather would have been an understatement.  This has resulted in a bit of spiraling on my part so I decided I needed to get some clarity. 

I decided to try this Major Influences Spread by Nancy Antenucci that I found in 101 Tarot Spreads by 20 Modern Tarot Masters (Volume 1).  I like three card spreads because they’re simple enough to not be overwhelming and one can always pull additional cards for further clarification.  As you can see in the image above I drew the 10 of Pentacles, 5 of Swords and 6 of Wands reversed from The Haunted House Tarot by Sasha Graham.  I do so love when the Tarot gives me such a clear message.

So, in answer to what are the apparent known influences in this situation I drew the 10 of Pentacles.  The image in this card so perfectly fits my current situation that it’s unnerving.  One of my primary goals or motivations in this entire thing is getting moved back into my house before winter starts.  I had originally hoped to be there by Halloween but that is clearly not happening.  I’m tentatively hopeful that I will be there by Thanksgiving, but I think it might be more realistic to hope that I can celebrate Thanksgiving in the house, even if I’m not fully moved in yet.  So this image of a snow covered house with a happy family card in the foreground exactly expresses my motivations, desires and goals.

This 5 of Swords card is a bit unnerving because the figure in the foreground holding the knife looks like a man dressed in an old-fashioned nurse outfit.  He seems to be holding the knife and staring at the heroine of the piece, but it’s difficult to tell his intent.  I think this is to remind me that, while I am frustrated with DSS’s seeming lack of action up to this point, I’m not really sure what’s going on behind the scenes.  All might not be as it appears to me.  I’m sure there is a lot of behind the scenes negotiating and planning, to which I’m not privy, attempting to resolve this situation.  And, as a dear friend reminded me during this week, this is nothing personal against me.  As far as DSS is concerned, I’m actually rather irrelevant to this process.  I’m the caregiver that provides direct services, but how it impacts me is really not their priority.  I don’t have to like it but I also should be careful not to take it as a personal attack because then my responses create negative situations that don’t need to occur.

The 6 of Wands reversed reminds me that this isn’t a personal battle or a personal attack.  As I mentioned in the previous card, this is more about bureaucracies that are underfunded and understaffed trying to do the best with the resources available to them and make sure it is in the best interest of their clients.  I’m not their client so I’m just not their priority. If my need and interests intersect with theirs that’s great. If not, they’re not as cooperative. It isn’t an attack on me.  If I can take the sense of personal attack out of it, I might be able to handle things in a calmer and more rational manner.  At the same time, I think this card is reminding me not to abandon my needs either.  I don’t have to go gently into that good night, and it’s important that I advocate for myself and my needs. I also need to be cautious about acting like Bam Bam Rubble, smashing anything in my way to emerge victorious. Remembering that these representatives of government agencies are not trying to prevent me from achieving my goals and desires, they’re merely trying to ensure my brother in law’s needs are being met as well. No one actually triumphs in this situation; it’s more a case of the best possible outcome.

Overall this reading help me clarify some of the issues that have been bedeviling me this past week.  Ultimately I will get moved into my home and this house will be sold. My brother-in-law will be placed in a safe facility that can meet his needs.  Both our lives will go forward. I need to be cautious not to let incorrect interpretations and misunderstandings create a hostile and negative relationship with these government agencies because that will not help this process.  At the same time it’s perfectly fair for me to say that my needs matter too and I am not a doormat.  I have every right to say enough is enough, and they need to do whatever is necessary to ensure that my brother-in-law is placed somewhere once this house is sold.  That’s not me being selfish, that’s me looking out for my own health and well-being and survival.

Week 10 Get a Clue Spread (#TarotReading #DarkWoodTarot #52WeekProject)

Get a Clue Spread by Nancy Antenucci from 101 Tarot Spreads by 20 Modern Tarot Masters (Volume 1) + The Hermit, 6 of Pentacles Rx and Page of Cups from The Dark Wood Tarot by Sasha Graham

The Hermit is telling me that what I truly know is how to be alone; how to handle things by myself. I know how to explore new territory in a search for answers and knowledge. I truly know how to rely on no one but myself. I know how to shoulder a burden and continue moving forward despite the cost. It’s a very short trip from self-reliance and solitude to isolation and loneliness.

The 6 of Pentacles Rx shows that I’m clueless about asking for or accepting help. As The Hermit shows, I’m comfortable, maybe too comfortable, going it alone. Asking for help has often seemed like a devil’s bargain to me. Often this is because when I have asked for help in the past it is either reluctantly or begrudgingly given or, after promising to help, people don’t follow through. At his often left me feeling like a character in Oliver Twist with my hand out asking “please may I have some more”. I’m clueless about accepting that people will be honest when I ask for help, and if they’re unable to do so will let me know. I’m clueless about accepting did people really do want to help when they offer. This is definitely a learning process for me.

The Page of Cups is showing me that what will help me transform my cluelessness into awareness is listening to my heart, my inner voice; being kinder and gentler with myself. It also shows me that I need to relearn how to be more heart centered, and focused. I need to reconnect with my emotionally vulnerable inner core, which is something I’ve never been comfortable doing.

Overall, this reading reminds me that while self-reliance and independence can be positive traits, they can also become negative traits when it makes one unable to ask for or accept help. It also reminds me that sometimes you have to be willing to be emotionally vulnerable in order to establish positive, healthy, reciprocal relationships. Reality is that always giving or always being the one who helps creates an imbalance in relationships. Denying people the opportunity to provide support and assistance can create resentment and strain, and may even eventually damage the relationship. If I want to avoid this I need to work at establishing a more balanced give and take in my relationships.

Week 6 Tarot Spread for Autumn: The Hanged Man Season (#TarotReading #LePsychoTarot #52WeekProject)

My friend Diane sent me a link to this reading from the Llewellyn website.  I thought it looked interesting and decided to use it as my spread for this week.  I find the message the cards have given me to be fascinating (of course I would, it’s about my life 😉)

Pile One:
Top Card: The Hanged Man Question: What do I currently need to let go of and release in my life?  8 of Cups
Bottom Card: An additional message from The Hanged Man. 7 of Swords Rx

Pile Two:
Top Card: The Chariot Question: Where should I put my focus for moving forward?  3 of Cups
Bottom Card: An additional message from The Chariot.  9 of Cups

Pile Three:
Top Card: Ancestors Question: Advice from the Ancestors.  Ace of Cups
Bottom Card: More advice from the ancestors.  King of Coins/Earth.

The 8 of Cups is showing me that what I need to release is my emotional connection to things which meant something in my past but no longer resonate for me. One of the first things that comes to mind is my doll collection. I have a rather large collection of Barbie and other fashion dolls and they haven’t sparked Joy in quite some time. It’s time for me to let them go so I can make room in my life for something new. I also think this refers releasing any lingering guilt about the situation with my brother-in-law. Intellectually, I understand that what I’m doing is not only the right thing, it’s the best thing. However that doesn’t mean I’m not occasionally hit with twinges of regret and frustration that I have to make this decision; that I was left to clean up this mess. The addition of the seven of Swords reversed suggests to me that the guilt I’m taking on isn’t mine to bear. What I need to release is feeling responsible for other people’s burdens. It’s time to start reclaiming my own life, and the only way I can do this is to stop carrying guilt, sorrow, and emotional entanglements that hamper me from moving forward.

The 3 of Cups shows me that my focus should be on finding what sparks joy in my life; finding new friends and social connections that help me enjoy and celebrate what awaits me down this road. Instead of saying no to things, I need to start saying yes and open myself up to the fun and happiness that can bring. This seems to be even more reinforced by the 9 of Cups, which certainly suggests feeling emotionally fulfilled and having your wishes come true. It’s time for me to take control and steer my path along the road that will bring fun, joy, happiness, and emotional fulfillment.

My ancestors seem to be reinforcing the message abov by giving me the Ace of Cups. Once again, I get a sense of reconnecting with my heart; rediscovering things that bring me joy and a sense of contentment and happiness. It is enhanced by the King of Coins, which tells me that once I find my emotional core and reconnect with my inner dreams, live a more heart centered life, I will finally realize my own worth and feel better able to deal with the practical day-to-day realities. I will become the ruler of my life; become more grounded, practical, and learn to appreciate and care for my body as well as my heart, mind and soul.

This reading has been illuminating in many ways; reinforcing some things I already knew. It’s helped me fine tune where I need to channel my energies as well as come closer to accepting other things which I’ve known for some time but resisted.

#MessageoftheDay – 6 of Swords Rx, 7 of Wands Rx + 10 of Wands (#SecretForest #Tarot)

The river wends its way through a landscape that is either thickly forested or practically barren. In the distance a small body of water is visible. Reversed it gives the impression that the river is moving towards the pond. Rather than traveling away, we are moving inward. We can’t get away from ourselves. Whether this proves negative or beneficial is up to us.

Once again the 7 of Wands appears. It’s reversed again; reinforcing the sense of restriction and cabin fever many have expressed. How can we deal with this? Distractions – online social interactions, hobbies & crafts. We have to force ourselves to engage because it’s too easy to get lost in frustration, fears and paranoia.

To me, the growth coming out of the turtles back suggests that although this is a heavy weight right now and things are going slow, an end is in sight. As even Bugs Bunny learned, slow & steady sometimes wins the race. As soon as I saw this card I heard The Beatles’ “Carry That Weight”. Things feel so heavy and ponderous right now it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and hopeless. We have to remind ourselves that we’re strong enough to make it. We will adapt, thrive and flourish but it will need to be a slow, steady and cautious process so the improvement is sustainable.

So there is hope but we need to be willing to endure the necessary struggle to get there. Let’s see how that works out.

#MessageoftheDay 7 of Cups, Ace of Pentacles & Wheel of Fortune (#SecretForest Tarot)

Well, two days in a row – a new record for me. Once again I decided to simply ask my guides/guardians for insight and guidance. I drew these three cards:

They suggest that there is a lot hidden beneath the surface that is being circled around but not addressed. There will be new growth and prosperity after this has moved on because that is the nature of things. The cycle will once again begin working its way upwards, however that doesn’t mean the danger is over.

As I reviewed this reading, I realized this could refer to the changes taking places in families right now.  Social media is filled with posts if parents and children building stronger relationships due to forced social distancing.  We’re mandated to slow down and some are using this opportunity to reconnect with their families; learning to appreciate the often thankless responsibilities teacher handle every day.

Maybe the growth and changes will be in how we interact with each other moving forward.  Consider all those familial issues we were able to ignore before.  We treaded water rather than diving down to find their origins.  This might be our chance to root out the weeds and allow more healthy, nurtured, nourished relationships to bloom forth.  Of course, we might also learn that in some instances things are unsalvageable.   Although that may prove painful to accept, it will also provide an opportunity to cut away what is rotted and festering and allow a healthier life and relationships in the future.

Growth and change can be scary but they can also provide opportunities for healing and growth.  Only we can decide how to handle it.

#WaywardTarot #Supernatural – I want to go to college but my family doesn’t support me (#Wonderland #Tarot)

I’m once again going to borrow a page from James Ricklef’s KnightHawk technique and do a Tarot reading for a fictional character.  I’ve decided Sam Winchester, the younger brother in the TV series Supernatural is reaching out for advice on how to handle his family’s resistance to his leaving for college.

“I’ve had an unusual upbringing.  My father’s job forces us to travel all over the country, never staying in any location for very long.  My older brother enjoys this but I find it chaotic. I want to live a stable, more normal life. In order to achieve this goal, I plan to attend college.  Despite this chaotic childhood, I managed to manage an excellent GPA and have been offered a scholarship to Stanford University but I’m conflicted.

Despite our contentious relationship, I love my father but I don’t want to live the life he has planned for me.  My older brother, Dean, who practically raised me, will be devastated at my leaving but if I stay  I’ll resent him.  I know what I’m going to do – Stanford is my future.  What I’d like advice about is how/if I can make my family understand why I need to do this.  Thank you for your help.” – Sam Winchester

Hi Sam,

Thank you for choosing me to provide you with additional insight and advice regarding this issue.  It must be difficult for you to leave your family behind and pursue your dreams, especially if you are close to them.  I’m going to pull three cards for you to see what clarity we can find.

What underlies their resistance?  Page of Peppermills They’re afraid that you’re still very young and too eager to get out into the big, wide world without being fully aware of the dangers you might face.  You’re full of excitement and enthusiasm, piss and vinegar, for college and can’t wait to explore what “normal” looks like but  despite what lessons you’ve learned and how prepared you believe you are, your family is worried about your safety.  They’re afraid you’re impetuous and too hot-headed for your own good.

How to address their concerns?  10 of Hats Rx

I don’t think there is an easy answer for this one.  The truth is that your family may be loyal and fierce in your defense of each other but any resemblance to a happy family is illusory at best.  You aren’t comfortable dealing with this but I get the sense that you left “happy” in the rearview mirror at some point.  That means discussions about how you feel about college and using an emotional argument to sway your family will probably be useless.  They are set against your leaving and I don’t think you’ll be able to change their minds.

What will support you in your choice?  Page of Oysters Rx

In your core, you see yourself as a student.  You thrive on learning new things and acquiring knowledge.  In addition, you believe you are practical and grounded with a realistic view of what’s out there in the world.  You may be young but you’re not stupid or naive.  You believe this works in your favor and it seems that your past experiences and scholarly pursuits will serve you well in your academic career.  You consider the world to be your oyster and you’re chomping at the bit to enjoy it.

In summary, you and your family don’t see eye to eye on this matter and probably never will.  It boils down to subsuming your desire for college to their need to keep you close and safe.  Ultimately, only you can decide which option is in your best interests and serves your long term goals.  Best of luck whatever you decide to do.

As any fan of Supernatural is aware, Sam Winchester left his family and attended Stanford University in Palo Alto.  He is offered a scholarship and in the series premiere, we learn he scored a 174 on his LSAT and has a meeting scheduled with Stanford Law School in a few days to discuss his admittance (most likely with another scholarship).  Things don’t work out according to Sam’s plans and at the end of the episode, he leaves Stanford and returns to hunting supernatural monsters with his brother Dean.

John Winchester (Sam’s father) and his brother Dean don’t want Sam to leave for college because they fear they cannot protect him from supernatural creatures.  They know how many monsters lurk in the dark and how dangerous they can be and worry Sam won’t be able to protect himself.  As the series progresses we learn that a powerful demon is interested in Sam and John is aware of this (although he doesn’t reveal this to his sons until much later).  This demon’s interest in Sam endangers anyone he cares about, as is revealed when Sam’s girlfriend Jess is killed the same way his mother died – pinned to the ceiling and burned to death.  Although Sam believes he knows how to protect himself and is aware of what’s out there, the truth is that it was much worse and bigger than he ever imagined.

Despite Sam’s desire for a normal life, the show has shown time and time again over the years that’s just not practical.  The supernatural will always use anyone they care about as a way to hurt the Winchesters.

#TarotDaily _ 4 of Spirals + 2 of Coral Rx (Pholarchos)

His need to possess her consumed him. He hated sharing her time, her attention, her love with others. His emotions were topsy-turvy; he felt as though they were drowning him. The only thing that let him breathe was being with her. Her very presence soothed his heart; calmed his soul. He must make sure she belonged to him, and him alone. No one else must distract her attention from him.

#TarotDaily – 4 of Wheels + 7 of Cups (#SacredBridges)

TarotHunter’s Silver Bullets:

  • You’ve been conserving resources, holding on to what you’ll need to help you move forward. Now you need to decide which dream to pursue; to focus on which dream to manifest.
  • You’re cautious in relationships, protective of your heart and guarded about sharing it. Right now you may have a few options for a romantic partner but in order to make things work you might find it beneficial to limit yourself to one committed partner. You’ll also need to risk opening up your heart and letting down your guards.
  • Feeling stable and secure in who you are and what you’ve achieved in your life has you in a good place right now; a solid point from which to pursue your heart’s desire. Now you just need to determine what your heart’s desire might be.