Earlier this week I drew the rune Jera as an omen. I decided to incorporate its energies into my reading for the week. Among other things, Jera represents “peace on the land and in the heart“. So I asked the universe how I can manifest this peace in my life and drew The Star Rx, 4 of Wands and Page of Cups.
The Star Rx, 4 of Wands and Page of Cups.
The Star Rx reminds me that I should never give up hope. I need to hold on to it within my heart and feel its healing waters wash over me. This card also reminds me that I’m still healing; I’m still in the process of grieving my husband’s death and determining what kind of life I want to create for myself moving forward. I need to still be gentle with myself and not try to force matters to suit some unwritten agenda.
The 4 of Wands shows me that continuing to connect with nature is another way to bring peace into my life. In the short time I’ve been paying more attention to the wildlife around me, I’ve come to appreciate the tenacity and courage of the small creatures – chipmunks, squirrels, small birds. There is so much out there that can threaten them and yet they endure. They managed to face the challenges and find paths that allow them to survive and thrive. They must experience loss and other potential miseries, but they still focus their energies on survival. I have to admire that quality. At the same, time I realize that one of the qualities of nature is that smaller critters are prey to larger critters. Pretty cats can be quite deadly to small animals. The crows I love to watch so much think nothing of feeding on smaller animals to survive. It is their nature and that is a lesson for me too.
The Page of Cups appears to once again point out that I need to continue the Journey of getting to know myself. I must continue exploring my emotions and embrace the fact that I’m human, I can, and most likely will, be hurt sometimes. Pretending that I don’t feel things deeply as a way of protecting myself is felt spectacularly, and I know that. The Page of Cups is letting me know that I need to explore new tools for dealing with my emotions; healthier, more balanced tools and techniques will be more beneficial. All I’ve managed to do by trying to build a huge wall to protect myself is become a cranky hermit. Not exactly the most well-balanced way to deal with life.
Once again these cards have reinforced messages I’ve received before, especially as it pertains to my own emotional healing and reconnecting with the world around me. A lot of this is beneficial to explore because right now I am rather limited in where I can go and what I can do. So, within those parameters, I need to find other ways to bring joy and peace in my life. Retail therapy is not a solution, despite my love of getting packages.
Carolyn Cushing shared this spread in her blog post exploring the energies of this New Moon. I recommend reading her post and considering how you handle and utilize power in your life too. In America right now we’re seeing some of the results of unchecked power and abuses of power. It made me consider how I contribute to, and resist, this paradigm.
POWER: What power desires to flow through me? 8 of Pentacles Rx
RECEIVING: How can I open to receive this power? Page of Cups
RELEASING: How can I let it go? 10 of Pentacles
8 of Pentacles, Page of Cups & 10 of Pentacles – Herbal Tarot
The power desiring to flow through me is the power of putting my skills and knowledge to work; being able to embrace my inner craftsperson. It’s the power of being able to share my experience with others. Right now I’m still acquiring the skills, knowledge, and experience but I have the sense that soon I will have the opportunity to put my skill set to more practical use. Ginger is associated with this card which adds an element of igniting energy, and being more motivated to use my talents and constructive ways. Who knows? Perhaps this suggests that the power desiring to flow through me is that of becoming a teacher in some capacity.
The Page of Cups shows that the way I can be open to receive this power is by literally being more open emotionally; dipping my feet in the water of new experiences and letting go of my need to protect myself. I need to trust in my inner nature and listen to my heart. Damiana can symbolize releasing self-consciousness and feeling more enthusiastic and self-confident. I need to believe in myself and embrace opportunities for growth, even if my initial efforts result in mistakes and stumbling around in ignorance. It’s the only way to truly learn.
The 10 of Pentacles tells me the way to let it go is to first fully embrace it. Then be willing to share it with others. I get the sense it’s telling me that I need to take stock of what skills I have and what knowledge I might be willing to share with others. The addition of Wild Yam to the energies of this card reinforce the message of accumulated energy and power; whose release will encourage the use of talents, gifts, and possessions for the greatest good (according to the companion book).
The message that I’m getting from this reading is that the power flowing through me that wants to be expressed is one of sharing, and teaching, and encouraging others, and myself at the same time. It’s about letting go of the skills and knowledge I hoard as I self-deprecatingly claim I have nothing. I think the first part is that I need to look at what I have that I can and would be willing to share. Then I need to consider how I might go about doing that. It may take some time simply because of the realities of what’s going on in my life, but it does open an intriguing pathway for me.
The water outside my in-laws’ house is occasionally visited by a heron (well, I think it’s the same heron). According to WorldBirds.com “The heron is often used as a symbol of grace and beauty. It is not hard to see why this is upon observing the fluid movements and stunning appearance of this bird. Beyond the physical body of the heron, these birds are often found in beautiful places as well. The harmonious regions where land and sea (or pond, lake, or river) meet is the heron’s home. Thus the heron represents three essential energies which exist in perfect balance: land, water, and sky.
The calm stillness of the heron of course represents peace and serenity. On top of this, the heron’s endless patience reminds us of the importance of waiting for opportunities to appear. Timing is a difficult thing to master, but everyone could learn a thing or two from watching the heron at work!”
I decided to focus this reading on heron’s liminal nature. So I pulled a card each to represent land, sea & sky (or physical, emotional and intellectual)
Land/Physical Realm – Gift of Trees
Sea/Emotional Realm – 4 of Stones
Air/Intellectual Realm – Knower of Trees
Gift of Trees, 4 of Stones & Knower of Trees from The Shining Tribe Tarot
The Gift of Trees reveals I need to merge knowledge about what is best for my physical health and combine it with the wisdom to use it in ways that will best help me. I think it’s a reminder that no one else is going to take care of my health except me. I often know what I should do, but that doesn’t mean I actually do it. This card suggests it’s time to change that pattern. Healthier eating is certainly one of the key elements of making this happen.
The 4 of Stones suggests that in order to move on to the next level of my emotional journey, I need to be willing to push past my comfort zone. I need to be willing to go through the doorway and explore uncharted territory. It’s a frightening prospect because dealing with emotions has always made me feel vulnerable and exposed. This is a recurring theme for me, and Heron is once again reinforcing it.
The Knower of Trees suggests I have a core burning within me that needs to learn and think. A core I need to nurture; to continue feeding and tending. My intellectual side needs to be supported in a way that keeps my inner passion and fire for knowledge and information burning. The blooming tree or flower at the core of the figure on this card suggests that pursuit of knowledge and information is at the core of who I am. It’s what inspires me to keep moving, and keep learning. It’s what enables me to grow and bloom as a person, and I need to take care of it to ensure it does not wither and die.
Heron seems to be letting me know that it’s time to make changes in my life that will transform things in a positive healthy way. I’ve been stuck in neutral for too long; allowing things to happen to me rather than taking control and trying to steer the course of my life. Moving forward it will prove more beneficial and enjoyable for me to be more focused and moving towards goals I want to achieve rather than just drifting.
When I was younger, I would listen to people talk about how forgiveness was healing and that it was to the benefit of the forgiver more than the one forgiven, and I snorted in disbelief. Like many teens and young adults, I was arrogantly sure that my righteous anger was better than any potential healing forgiving someone might bring. Needless to say, as with so many things, maturity has taught me the folly of that belief.
Several years back I was working for a non-profit agency. There was a supervisor there with whom I had a challenged relationship. Overall we seem to get along fairly well however whenever there was a situation in which he was my supervisor I seem to irritate him. I think he was concerned that my loyalty was not to him. To be fair, in some ways that was true because I did have other supervisors, and in many cases my loyalty was to them. But he never understood that I could be loyal to more than one person if I felt that that loyalty was also extended to me. I never felt that with this person. He eventually became the executive director of this non-profit agency and within a few years of his ascension I was fired. Allegedly it was because there was no money to continue funding my position. However, considering that after I was gone someone else took the exact same job I would have to question that. Needless to say, I was devastated for years after. It was very traumatic, and I held on to anger and hostility towards this person for many, many years.
Recently I reconnected with two co-workers from that agency. During the course of our conversation this person was mentioned. I knew he had been fired from the non-profit where we were a few years after me. I have no idea why he was let go, but I will admit to experiencing a sense of schadenfreude when I heard the news. While talking with my friend, she mentioned that he had been out of work for a few years and was having a difficult time finding a new job. Based on things I’ve heard about this person, he is his own worst enemy and unfortunately has a tendency to undermine himself. However when my friend mentioned that he was interviewing for a new position I found myself genuinely wishing him well. That’s when I realized, I had finally let go of my anger and forgave him. The truth is I might have let go of the anger years ago but had no reason to consider it. Now that I was looking at it, I understood that I had finally let It go and I felt better, lighter. I finally understood what people meant when they said forgiveness helped the forgiver as much as, or more than, the forgiven. So I decided to pull some cards to explore how this situation influenced me.
How did holding on to the anger benefit me? The Chariot
How did releasing the anger and forgiving help me? 8 of Rivers
How can I embrace this lesson and allow this healing energy to benefit me in the future? 2 of Trees
The Chariot, 8 of Rivers & 2 of Trees from The Shining Tribe Tarot
The Chariot shows me that the anger allowed me to feel I had control over the situation or that I had some ability to influence it in some way. It allowed me to create a “sour grapes” type of scenario and convince myself that the agency didn’t deserve me anyway. Holding on to the anger helped me create a mask to hide behind and avoid dealing with the feelings of hurt and betrayal.
In the 8 of Rivers, Rachel Pollack writes “the 8 of Rivers shows the powerful new self who emerges after the liberating effective anger or simply telling the truth. The card says: if you feel like a new person trusts the feeling”. I cannot imagine a more perfect card appearing in response to this question! I do feel liberated and freer. I feel as though I was able to release some of those inner demons haunting me; or better said take off the mask of anger I was hiding behind to reveal a truer self. By releasing the anger, I opened myself up to connecting to my emotions on a deeper level.
Rachel writes “The trees form a gate that opens to new experience. The image suggests a gateway, a moment in our lives when we feel opportunities open before us. Opening to a higher level of awareness”. I can embrace this lesson by seeing it as the opportunity that it is; embracing its potential for transformation. In Tarot, the twos often represent a partnership. In this instance, I think the 2 of Trees is showing me that what I need to partner my emotional and spiritual side so that I can embrace the opportunities this experience is presenting to me.
This experience has helped me shed the angry, emotionally immature part of myself, and will allow me to move forward with a less reactive, childish mindset. It also helped me realize that holding on to that anger was giving that person power over my life, something to which they have never been entitled. Was it a devastating experience? Yes. Was it a learning experience? Also, yes. Did it break me? No, it made me stronger. Holding on to the resentment and anger I felt towards this person created a narrative of victimhood, and I refuse to be a victim. Realizing that I am able to, and have, released it allows me to change that narrative.
Yesterday, I went for a walk and sat at a gazebo that faces out over the lake. I noticed two swans enjoying the sunny afternoon. I have always considered swans to be magical, otherworldly creatures so I had to take a picture.
I’ve taken many pictures of the swans that occupy the lake over the years. My mother-in-law’s house overlooks a small arm of the lake and the swans are regular visitors along with a heron, ducks, and geese.
I don’t know if these are the same two swans but there have been swans visiting these waters for at least the last 15 years, possibly much longer than that. So, today, while I was trying to think of what question to focus on for my weekly reading, it occurred to me that I am regularly visited by many different critters. I decided it might be time to see if they have any messages for me, starting with the swans.
What message do the swans have for me? 8 of Swords, 3 of Wands Rx, 3 of Disks Rx.
8 of Swords, 3 of Wands Rx, 3 of Disks Rx – The Wheel of Change Tarot
The shattered window on the 8 of Swords shows me that I need to actually break that glass. I need to shake things up to force those that should be doing more to fix my brother-in-law’s situation to take action. It feels like I’m an exhibit in the Star Trek episode The Cage. I’m behind glass with people walking past and staring. They comment on how wonderful I am; how devoted caring for my brother-in-law, but no one’s listening to me scream on the other side that I can’t do this anymore! Attempts to break the glass have been futile because their gas lighting me into believing the glass isn’t really broken. It allows them to leave feeling virtuous, but having done nothing to change or help the situation. It’s time to smash that glass; make noise so they understand things can’t remain this way anymore. They must be forced to see this situation more clearly, to see, as symbolized by the window, that it’s broken and I must be released. To hear me shrieking that I’m exhausted and need things to change!
The Three of Wands reversed shows me that expressing and exploring my creative energies is dependent upon shattering that glass; shaking up the status quo. It’s reversed because until I dramatically change the current situation, I’m stuck in stasis. It also reminds me that I can’t, shouldn’t, do this alone. I need to have allies, family and Friends supporting me, advising me, and working with me as I go through this. I need to find ways to nurture and replenish my spark so it doesn’t get extinguished.
The 3 of Disks shows that if I want to dig down to the next layer, and explore uncharted territory, I’m going to need help; it’s going to be a team effort. As it stands right now all the work I’m trying to do is actually benefiting someone else and not me. That needs to change. Otherwise I’m just digging myself a hole from which I can’t be extricated. I think it’s also a reminder that despite the seeming activity on the part of those responsible for resolving the situation with my brother-in-law, a lot of it is futile and pointless action that resolves nothing. It’s another trying to make it look like they’re busy and doing things when they’re actually not. Connecting back with the broken window in the 8 of Swords, they’re comfortable with the status quo because all responsibility falls on me. I have to take steps to make the situation untenable for them as it currently exists.
Despite my tendency to try to be a rugged individualist, this reading points out that’s not going to serve me well right now. I need to break free of that pattern and that tendency; find ways to accept input from others that will help me transform my reality. I’ve been dealing with stuff by myself for too long and it’s wearing on me. The only way to change that is to be willing to ask and accept assistance, suggestions, and support from others that I trust. Thinking about it, I often see the swans together. They’re a collaborative; a partnership. Their message to me is that I need to start creating some collaborations of my own.
During a slight bout of sleeplessness early this morning, I came across this video. I was blown away by how perfectly the imagery in this video suits the message of the 8 of Swords card in this reading
I was chatting with a friend the other day about how people’s pursuit of money can often skew their values and indeed has had a seemingly negative impact upon our society as a whole. That led me to some naval gazing, and I started wondering is it really pursuit of money that’s the root of evil or is it what we think having money grants us? As a society many Americans ascribe certain qualities to being wealthy. We think it makes people happier; makes people impervious to the viscitudes of everyday life. We see it in the news all the time rich, people are not held to the same standards as the rest of us. It’s often claimed that the criminal justice system is very different for people with money, especially white people with money. This made me wonder if it’s really the money that we want or the privilege that we believe accompanies having money. For example, consider Sigmund Freud’s penis envy Theory. I honestly don’t know many women who envy men’s physical possession of a penis. However, it’s possible what women actually envy is the privilege and rights ascribed to them because of said appendage. I think that what we really want is something that makes us feel Superior to other people. Think about people who feel like they’re in the know about a subject people who buy into conspiracy theories because they think it’s hidden information that only a select few can access.
Think about people who feel like they’re in the know about a subject; people who buy into conspiracy theories because they think it’s hidden information that only a select few can access. We all like to feel that we possess secret information to which others are ignorant. Why? Because it allows us to feel Superior in some way. Why do some people fight so hard to take away the rights of minorities or other special groups? Because it’s a way to feel Superior to those people. I could be totally wrong about this because honestly I’m just basing this on a gut feeling but I still thought it might be interesting to explore.
So, I wondered where in my life I suffer from a superiority complex. I know that I have them. Some I’m well aware of, but I’m trying to explore the ones to which I might be oblivious. So I decided to do what I often do in these types of situations. I sought advice from the Tarot.
I asked: 1) What superiority complex do I not see? 2) What will help me recognize it? 3) How has this blind spot been serving me?
Queen of Water, 9 of Air & Wheel of Fortune – Förhäxa Tarot
The Queen of Water reminds me that I tend to be dismissive of people’s feelings or avoid dealing with them. I like to flatter myself that I’m above all of that, but the reality is I’m not. In fact, it’s a weak point for me it’s why I prefer dealing with Swords issues than Cups issues. In my world growing up showing your emotions left you vulnerable and could create a weapon for people to use against you. So I donned a cloak of emotional and vulnerability and used it to protect myself. I draped myself in the moral superiority I felt because I wouldn’t let someone hurt me like that. I have failed to recognize that pretending to be emotionally invulnerable doesn’t mean that I am. In fact by avoiding addressing emotional issues I’ve probably made myself more vulnerable than I would have been had I dealt with this at an earlier point in my life. This Queen of Water is reminding me that instead of learning to embrace my emotions, I’ve barely been able to keep my head above water.
I really love this 9 of Air card. When I first saw, it I thought those were dragonflies coming up out of a swampy body of water (they’re actually hornets). The message I got from this card is what will help me is accepting and acknowledging that no matter how much I ignore emotional issues, they’re lying in wait under the surface. If I don’t handle them they will rise up, and sting me. At the same time, I see these dragonfly/hornets as a hopeful sign because their wings are so luminous against the darkness of the background. It’s a reminder that while intellect cannot control emotions, learning new ideas and taking a new perspective to the matter, will help me develop a plan to deal with them. My emotions are going to be there whether I choose to address them or not. What needs to change, so that I can deal with them in a healthier way, is my mindset about the whole issue.
The Wheel of Fortune shows this blind spot has been serving me because it allowed me to treat my emotions as though they’re something separate from me; my shadow side that I could ignore. They allowed me to try to resist the changes that are essential to grow and expand in life. It was a way for me to try to stave off the inevitable. It allowed me to cling to my illusion that I was somehow Superior because I was not subject to the whims of being overly emotional. In reality what I’ve realized is I didn’t need to be emotional with anyone else because I had my husband. He was my support. He was my rock, my stability. He allowed me to hide my vulnerable, emotional side from anybody but him. I could trust him and knew he wouldn’t hurt me. So in a way, this created a situation where I could allow myself to stagnate in this area. I didn’t need to change and grow because my husband protected me; shielded me.
I found this reading especially interesting because all three of these cards showed up for me earlier in the week as messages from my ancestors. Except they were originally reversed. So once again I’m getting reinforcement of the original message. I need to work on my emotional maturity and nature because if I don’t it’s going to cause me problems in the long run. And that is nothing to feel Superior about.
I have developed a daily devotional practice honoring the Earth mother, the nature spirits, the ancestors, the gods and goddesses that my people honored as well as specific individual deities with whom I feel a stronger connection. I try to keep it fairly simple; offering nuts to the Earth mother, critter food to the nature spirits and tea to the ancestors and the gods. I also used tea for the offering when I’m honoring a specific deity or ancestor, except my husband – he gets coffee. So far this seems to work out very well. After making an offering to a specific ancestor or deity, I take an omen ADF style. When the ancestor or deity is Irish, I use my Celtic Wisdom Tarot for the omen. For my Norse deities I pull a rune. Usually this works fine but every so often things get confusing.
One of the deities that I am trying to build a stronger relationship with is The Morrigan. I have felt drawn to her for many years, but haven’t actually taken any steps to enhance that bond. So recently when I made my first offering to her as part of my daily devotional practice, I received The Shaper (Empress) reversed as my omen/message. As soon as I saw this card I heard a voice in my head telling me “I am not your mother and this is not going to be a kinder, gentler relationship”. Honestly this felt completely appropriate and typical of the kind of energy that I have often felt while working with The Morrigan. She’s not soft and cuddly, and if that’s what I’m looking for she would not be the best goddess with whom to align myself.
The next time I made an offering the card I drew was the Augury of Skill (Ace of Wands) reversed. The image on the card represents the Irish deity Lugh and his spear, which is considered one of the treasures of the Tuatha de Danann. One of the aspects described to Lugh is that he is “many skilled”. So I can see him being associated with the suit of Wands because he is a source of creativity. However having this show up reversed is the message I received confused me a little bit.
The next day the deity that I honored is The Dagda, the Good Father of the Tuatha de Danann, a god of great knowledge, a skilled warrior, and an inspired musician. He possesses a cauldron from which none walk away hungry. He also happens to be considered by many to be the husband of The Morrigan. On a personal note, my husband always struck me as a wonderful embodiment of The Dagda’s energy manifested on this plane. When I pulled a card to receive my message from him, I received the Queen of Battle, The Morrigan. In my head I heard a voice telling me “you need to make sure you understand who she is and what she will be requiring of you”. In other words I had to make sure I had made “right” my relationship with The Morrigan.
So to help me figure out the best way to do this I pulled three more cards for clarification. I asked The Morrigan what was the best way to establish a “right” relationship with her? I drew Woman of Battle Rx, Quest of Art, and Woman of Art (Page of Air Rx, 10 of Water & Page of Water). When I looked at these cards I got distracted by the figures from Irish mythology and folklore that they represented. The Woman of Battle is Queen Maeve. The 10 of Art shows the Salmon of Wisdom being found in The Well of Segais. The Woman of Art represented by Boann, the goddess of the Boyne River whose mythology is also associated with The Well of Segais. My initial response to reading these cards is that The Morrigan was showing me that our relationship will be a battle but not one of the mind. She doesn’t really need to work on my intelligence or mental abilities, because I am fairly comfortable and confident in these areas. However the presence of the 10 and Page of Water suggest that where we will battle is the realm of emotions, the heart. I decided to pull the matching cards from the Förhäxa Tarot to help clarify things for me. It also intrigued me that the two Water cards are connected with a well known as a source of great wisdom. In other words, if I want to actually acquire wisdom, not just knowledge, I need to dive into The Well of my own emotions.
Celtic Wisdom Tarot Förhäxa Tarot
Looking at these cards I had to laugh. The wasp-like shape of the Queen of Air reinforces the idea that I’m going to get stung with some things, will be hurt, but ultimately will be helped. The only way for me to move forward is to let go of the past. The Page of Air Rx suggests that in the past focusing more on my intelligence, logic, and knowledge was a way of protecting myself. If I became like Mr Spock, I wouldn’t have to worry about being hurt by the slings and barbs of others. In some ways, I see myself as Sheldon from Big Bang Theory. I may be insensitive and seem heartless, but most times it’s because I just don’t understand what it is people want or expect from me. I know I should offer distressed people a hot refreshing beverage but don’t always understand why. The roots of that developed as an effort to protect my very soft inner center from the pain of friends who betrayed me or classmates who mocked me. I understand that in many cases they were as clueless as I was, but those barbs dug deep and still reside in my soul. As a result, I put on very thick armor to pretend none of it impacted me, didn’t bother me. In reality I was curled up and crying on the inside.
Similar messages have appeared for me numerous times over the past few months. It has become clear that one of the lessons I need to learn moving forward is to grow more comfortable with that side of my nature; to explore my inner emotions. This is rarely something I will do voluntarily. So it makes perfect sense that the only lens through which I would be willing to explore this side of my nature is the one provided by The Morrigan. She’s not going to cuddle me and Pat me on the back saying “there, there”. Instead she is basically going to slap me at the back of the head and say “put on your big girl panties, and keep going. All of this is in the past. It can’t hurt you anymore unless you let it”. The truth is I know that, but very much like exercising or eating right, that’s often the harder choice to make, so I avoid it. The Morrigan is showing me she’s not going to let me avoid this anymore. I’m both a little terrified and excited. This will really be uncharted territory for me.
In honor of the full moon in Leo, I decided to do a reading for myself focusing on some of the energies associated with this cycle. Since I have been thinking about expressing my creativity in different areas, I thought that might be a fun topic to explore. So using my absolutely stunning Förhäxa Tarot,I asked the following questions.
9 of Earth, Queen of Water Rx, 6 of Air – Förhäxa Tarot
What will inspire me? 9 of Earth – I can be inspired by the natural world around me. Despite the fact that I have limited ability to go beyond the borders of my own property that doesn’t mean I can’t explore the beauty on this property. Practically every day I’m visited by squirrels, various birds, ducks, occasionally a swan comes by, and my heron sometimes drops in. They all offer an amazing window into the natural world that surrounds this little piece of land and I need to take advantage of it. Nature journaling might be the perfect way to get me started and inspire me to try new techniques or revisit old techniques.
What will challenge me? Queen of Water Rx – I think the Queen of Water is showing me that what will challenge me is what always challenges me, exploring and embracing my inner emotions. Cup issues are a realm I prefer to avoid. The truth is, I think the only thing holding me together right now is the fact that I don’t give in to becoming overly emotional. However, I’m realizing that ignoring or avoiding this part of my psyche also limits me because it’s difficult to find ways to sustain yourself emotionally if you avoid diving into that pool. The truth is ignoring or avoiding my emotions doesn’t mean they don’t exist and are impacting the situation. I can see this becoming a challenge when it comes to expressing my creativity because I do believe that one’s creativity is innately tied to one’s emotional state. So this ought to be fun.
What practical steps can I take? 6 of Air – I think this reinforces the idea that although I cannot physically change my environment right now, I can change my mindset. This message has come up for me several times in the past few months. The only limits on me are ones I impose upon myself. Even if I’m limited in where I can go and what I can do in the physical realm, that doesn’t stop me from using my mind to learn new things; explore new ideas. I need to keep the fact uppermost in my mind.
So, clearly the cards are telling me that my creativity is only limited by my own internal restrictions. I don’t need to leave this property in order to be creative, I only think I do. I’ve recently become enamored with the idea of plein air painting, painting outdoors. Nothing says that needs to be any further than 5′ outside the front door. Implicit in these cards is a message of “just do it”. It has come up for me numerous times as a reminder that much of what limits me is my own internally imposed restrictions. I have to move beyond that to avoid stifling my creativity.
On Twitter today I noticed a tweet by @JeremyWingert79 noting that he believes unprocessed trauma as a result of covid is preventing many of us from living as instinctively and joyously as we once did. https://twitter.com/JeremyWingert79/status/1619354903457202176?t=waJl8O7-L5h5fDxNRGCPHQ&s=19. This made me wonder about how I manifesting this in my own life. So, of course, I did what I always do when I need to get inside my own head, I picked up my Tarot cards. I asked “How can I live more instinctively and joyously?” These are the three cards I pulled.
Knight of Air, The World Rx + The Chariot – Förhäxa Tarot
I have to say I am so glad I purchased this deck. The images are absolutely stunning and the messages I get just seem so clear to me. The Knight of Air shows me I need to let my mind soar; to take this opportunity, while I am physically restrained, to explore new ideas or dig deeper into ideas that already intrigue me. Even if my body is forced to stay in one location right now, my mind can still soar free and fly high like that bird. Maybe one of the things I can learn more about is astral travel and lucid dreaming. I’ve long been interested in both topics but allow myself to become distracted by other things going on. Maybe now is the opportunity to study them further.
The World Rx shows me that I can’t keep focusing on what’s going on outside in the larger world. It’s not that I’m not concerned about current affairs and social situations, however I am not currently in a position where I can do much about it. Focusing too much of my energy on those areas stresses me out much more than I need right now. This does nothing for my physical or mental health. Right now my world needs to be smaller and more personal.
Ah, The Chariot. Once again a bird is soaring into the sky. This time it’s a black bird, perhaps a crow, with a winged female astride. I think this is reinforcing the message of the Knight of Air. This is time for me to take control of my journey, to trust that things are going in the right direction but be more conscious and pay more attention to the journey. It reaffirms that this may be my chance to explore uncharted territory or re-familiarize myself with territory I haven’t visited in some time.
So an answer to my initial question about living more instinctively and joyously, the cards suggest that instead of focusing on where I’m limited, I focus on the areas where nothing can restrict me but myself. Instead of focusing on what I can’t do, I need to consider what I can and take steps to accomplish something in those areas. I have always found joy in learning new things and nothing can stop me from doing that right now except myself. One benefit in a post-COVID world is how many resources are now available online. It’s time I started foraging to discover how that can benefit me.
After what happened last week with my BiL’s case, I decided this week I need to focus on concrete steps or ideas that might help me deal with this whole situation moving forward. The reality is there is nothing I can do to force things to go the way I want, so I have to change how I’m handling the situation.
What’s the next best logical, rational step? 3 of Wands
What’s the best practical step to take? 5 of Swords Rx
What spiritual step will help me most? Knight of Cups
What heart-centered step will most benefit me right now? Knight of Coins Rx
Slavic Legends Tarot
The first thing I noticed about this reading is that I drew a card from each of the four suits although interestingly none of them fall within the area of influence of the question. Two of the cards are upright and two of the cards are reversed, which is another interesting coincidence. It suggests in some areas I’m moving in the right direction while in other my options are hampered or blocked right now.
So, here is my down & dirty take on this reading. My next best logical & rational step is working with the system instead of fighting against it. The truth is my struggles have been fruitless and resulted in more moments of banging my head against wall than is good for my cranium. Now what I need to do is cooperate and let them see for themselves that the results they hope for probably won’t be achieved. They refuse to accept my take on this situation or acknowledge that I do know something about how the BiL with respond. I’ll kill them with cooperation as it were.
The best practical step I can take dovetails nicely with the previous card. The 5 of Swords Rx is showing that it’s time to put down my arms and stop fighting; it’s pointless and serves no useful purpose right now. I need to strategize and not charge in without a plan. Instead of viewing this current situation as a defeat, I need to see it as a strategic retreat to regroup and plan how to move forward again.
The spiritual step that will help me most is to find my heart’s desire; take a quest into my own feelings to see what I want to do next. This has come up for me quite often – exploring who I want to be and where I want to focus my energies in this new phase of my life. In many ways, my heart is broken and will never be the same but it still functions and it still has interests and desires to pursue. The Knight of Cups is showing that needs to be my next spiritual quest.
The Knight of Coins Rx shows that the heart-centered step will most benefit me right now is self care. I need to take practical steps to tend to my physical being. The amount of stress I’ve been dealing with since my hubby died has made it easy to put aside my own health issues. I need to make those a priority again.
So my priorities need to be focused on self-care and strategizing not creating a lot of sound and fury that isn’t going to help. This will be quite a challenge because it goes against my natural inclinations and temperament. Oh well, I guess I need to look at this as an opportunity for growth.
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