Week 38 – Bealtaine Spread (#TarotReading #HerbalTarot #52WeekProject)

  1. What am I being asked to learn more about? King of Cups
  2. What is ready for release in this next seasonal cycle (from now until the next fire festival, Lughnasadh, in August)? 3 of Pentacles
  3. With this release, what am I making space for? Page of Cups Rx
  4. A card to ground me as I work with nature, rather than against. 4 of Wands Rx

The King of Cups reveals that what I’m being asked to learn more about is myself; my emotional needs; my relationships with others. I think it’s telling me that one of the areas I need to focus on more is my emotional connections with other people. For many many years I didn’t need anyone other than my husband. Now he’s gone, and I need to learn how to reconnect and form relationships and emotional bonds with others in a way that allows me to feel safe and able to express myself.

I think the 3 of Pentacles shows that I’m ready to release all the seeds that I have planted so far. All the hard work I’ve put into my current situation has laid the groundwork and results should begin to be seen. The creative endeavors I’ve been exploring now need to be nurtured and tended so they can grow and spring forth shoots.

The Page of Cups Rx reminds me that I’m making space for the simple internal Joy that can spring from discovering things that satisfy on an emotional level. Reconnecting with the childlike, simple happiness of coloring or drawing. Dancing just because it makes joy bubble up inside me. Connecting with friends because it makes me smile. I need to stop worrying so much about whether it’s good enough or if other people will like it and just do it for fun.

The 4 of Wands Rx with its fairy figures tending the plants reminds me of the connection I’ve developed to local wildlife since I began making daily offerings. It has helped me become more aware of the variety of small creatures that surround me every day and how in harmony they are with each other. Even when it seems harsh, there is a delicate balance to their interactions with each other and their environment. This card helps to remind me that I must be cautious not to make these wild critters dependent on me because that would throw the dance off kilter. At the same time, paying attention and watching them has made me more aware of the diversity existing even on this small little piece of land as well as reinforcing that I am also part of this web.

For me this reading reinforced previous messages that my focus needs to be on nurturing joy in my life as well as establishing new and tending existing emotional connections and relationships. It’s also giving me a sense that perhaps during this cycle some of the hard work I’ve been putting into the situation with my brother-in-law will finally show some results. And it reminds me that what is helping me to stay grounded is the connection I’ve been building with local wildlife through giving them offerings of food. Just that one little step shows me how important it is to maintain the dance; to remember I’m part of, not above, this web of life.

Week 37 – Conduits of Power Spread by Carolyn Cushing (#TarotReading #HerbalTarot #52WeekProject)

Carolyn Cushing shared this spread in her blog post exploring the energies of this New Moon.  I recommend reading her post and considering how you handle and utilize power in your life too.  In America right now we’re seeing some of the results of unchecked power and abuses of power.   It made me consider how I contribute to, and resist, this paradigm.

  • POWER: What power desires to flow through me?  8 of Pentacles Rx
  • RECEIVING: How can I open to receive this power?  Page of Cups
  • RELEASING: How can I let it go?  10 of Pentacles

The power desiring to flow through me is the power of putting my skills and knowledge to work; being able to embrace my inner craftsperson.  It’s the power of being able to share my experience with others.  Right now I’m still acquiring the skills, knowledge, and experience but I have the sense that soon I will have the opportunity to put my skill set to more practical use. Ginger is associated with this card which adds an element of igniting energy, and being more motivated to use my talents and constructive ways. Who knows? Perhaps this suggests that the power desiring to flow through me is that of becoming a teacher in some capacity.

The Page of Cups shows that the way I can be open to receive this power is by literally being more open emotionally; dipping my feet in the water of new experiences and letting go of my need to protect myself.  I need to trust in my inner nature and listen to my heart. Damiana can symbolize releasing self-consciousness and feeling more enthusiastic and self-confident. I need to believe in myself and embrace opportunities for growth, even if my initial efforts result in mistakes and stumbling around in ignorance. It’s the only way to truly learn.

The 10 of Pentacles tells me the way to let it go is to first fully embrace it. Then be willing to share it with others. I get the sense it’s telling me that I need to take stock of what skills I have and what knowledge I might be willing to share with others. The addition of Wild Yam to the energies of this card reinforce the message of accumulated energy and power; whose release will encourage the use of talents, gifts, and possessions for the greatest good (according to the companion book).

The message that I’m getting from this reading is that the power flowing through me that wants to be expressed is one of sharing, and teaching, and encouraging others, and myself at the same time. It’s about letting go of the skills and knowledge I hoard as I self-deprecatingly claim I have nothing. I think the first part is that I need to look at what I have that I can and would be willing to share. Then I need to consider how I might go about doing that. It may take some time simply because of the realities of what’s going on in my life, but it does open an intriguing pathway for me.

Week 36 – The Will-Fate-Fortune-Destiny Spread by Mary K. Greer (#TarotReading #ShiningTribeTarot #52WeekProject)

The Will-Fate-Fortune-Destiny Spread by Mary K. Greer from 101 Tarot Spreads by 20 Modern Tarot Masters Vol 1 by Sheilaa Hite
  • My Current Will – The Lovers Rx
  • My Current Fate – 2 of Trees
  • My Current Fortune – 8 of Birds Rx
  • My Current Destiny – 5 of Stones
Shining Tribe Tarot

My current will, as represented by The Lovers Rx, is to not focus my energies on a relationship with anyone else.  I’ve already had a relationship with someone who was perfect for me and I lost him.  Part of the process of learning to live without him is realizing that by the very nature of our relationship I changed for him and he changed for me.  There are things I might have explored or pads I would have taken except I knew he had no interest in them.  It seemed unfair to try to subject him to participate in activities he wouldn’t enjoy.  He was always kind enough to extend that same courtesy to me.  I think what the lovers reversed to showing is that right now my conscious intent is to learn to love myself and to reconnect with the Divine side of my own nature.  Isn’t there a saying that before you can love someone else you need to learn to love yourself.  I think this car is showing that my focus right now is on learning to love myself more.

The 2 of Trees suggests that my current fate is to continue exploring my creative energies and outlets.  I think it will also be beneficial to find new people that can help me break through to the next level with regard to creativity.  People who can help me learn and expand my knowledge base.  Once again this is a message that has come up for me several times in the past few months so I think it’s reinforcing and reaffirming that this is the path I need to explore moving forward.

According to Rachel’s companion book, the 8 of Birds Rx can indicate the need to find a voice and unlock the doors in the self; a process of recovery and the release of blocks to creativity.  I think the appearance of this card reinforces the idea that happenstance is exactly how I’ve been processing things lately.  I have often found that synchronicity regularly applies in my life.  I discover new creative outlets or find a book I’m supposed to read exactly when I will be open, and ready, to utilize it.  I connect with specific people who can help me with a certain area in my life at just the right moment.  The very fact that I’ve been getting messages from my Tarot readings that help me with this process shows how this energy plays out in my life.

I’m headed to face my inner demons.  These ghosts like figures on the 5 of Stones strike me as scary until one is able to face them and receive their message.  Rachel describes this as a card of internal healing, and finding one’s personal values; recognizing your own power.  All of this has been part of my journey since losing my husband.  At the center of it is facing my own fears about being alone, and having to deal with things by myself.  At the same time, it also indicates that this is an opportunity for me to relearn what brings me joy outside of my relationship with my husband.  I realized in the last couple of months that our relationship was very much a closed unit.  We were very happy together but we also didn’t need anybody else.  Now I have to be open to new relationships because I’m learning that there is truth to the saying that no one is an island. This is especially true as it pertains to the situation with my brother-in-law. I’ve recently really realized that my own refusal to ask for help has resulted in me bearing additional burdens when I didn’t have to. As Dumbledore once told Harry Potter, help is always available at Hogwarts to those who ask.

This reading seemed to reinforce elements in my life that have already begun to manifest and have been coming into play. I see it more as a reaffirmation that I’m moving in the right direction than giving any earth-shattering revelations. It’s as if the Tarot gave me a cosmic “atta girl”. And I’ll take it!

Week 32 – The Message of the Swans Spread (#TarotReading #WheelofChangeTarot #52WeekProject)

Yesterday, I went for a walk and sat at a gazebo that faces out over the lake.  I noticed two swans enjoying the sunny afternoon.  I have always considered swans to be magical, otherworldly creatures so I had to take a picture.

I’ve taken many pictures of the swans that occupy the lake over the years.  My mother-in-law’s house overlooks a small arm of the lake and the swans are regular visitors along with a heron, ducks, and geese.

I don’t know if these are the same two swans but there have been swans visiting these waters for at least the last 15 years, possibly much longer than that.  So, today, while I was trying to think of what question to focus on for my weekly reading, it occurred to me that I am regularly visited by many different critters.  I decided it might be time to see if they have any messages for me, starting with the swans.

What message do the swans have for me?  8 of Swords, 3 of Wands Rx, 3 of Disks Rx.

8 of Swords, 3 of Wands Rx, 3 of Disks Rx – The Wheel of Change Tarot

The shattered window on the 8 of Swords shows me that I need to actually break that glass. I need to shake things up to force those that should be doing more to fix my brother-in-law’s situation to take action. It feels like I’m an exhibit in the Star Trek episode The Cage. I’m behind glass with people walking past and staring. They comment on how wonderful I am; how devoted caring for my brother-in-law, but no one’s listening to me scream on the other side that I can’t do this anymore! Attempts to break the glass have been futile because their gas lighting me into believing the glass isn’t really broken. It allows them to leave feeling virtuous, but having done nothing to change or help the situation. It’s time to smash that glass; make noise so they understand things can’t remain this way anymore. They must be forced to see this situation more clearly, to see, as symbolized by the window, that it’s broken and I must be released. To hear me shrieking that I’m exhausted and need things to change!

The Three of Wands reversed shows me that expressing and exploring my creative energies is dependent upon shattering that glass; shaking up the status quo. It’s reversed because until I dramatically change the current situation, I’m stuck in stasis. It also reminds me that I can’t, shouldn’t, do this alone. I need to have allies, family and Friends supporting me, advising me, and working with me as I go through this. I need to find ways to nurture and replenish my spark so it doesn’t get extinguished.

The 3 of Disks shows that if I want to dig down to the next layer, and explore uncharted territory, I’m going to need help; it’s going to be a team effort. As it stands right now all the work I’m trying to do is actually benefiting someone else and not me. That needs to change. Otherwise I’m just digging myself a hole from which I can’t be extricated. I think it’s also a reminder that despite the seeming activity on the part of those responsible for resolving the situation with my brother-in-law, a lot of it is futile and pointless action that resolves nothing. It’s another trying to make it look like they’re busy and doing things when they’re actually not. Connecting back with the broken window in the 8 of Swords, they’re comfortable with the status quo because all responsibility falls on me. I have to take steps to make the situation untenable for them as it currently exists.

Despite my tendency to try to be a rugged individualist, this reading points out that’s not going to serve me well right now. I need to break free of that pattern and that tendency; find ways to accept input from others that will help me transform my reality. I’ve been dealing with stuff by myself for too long and it’s wearing on me. The only way to change that is to be willing to ask and accept assistance, suggestions, and support from others that I trust. Thinking about it, I often see the swans together. They’re a collaborative; a partnership. Their message to me is that I need to start creating some collaborations of my own.

During a slight bout of sleeplessness early this morning, I came across this video. I was blown away by how perfectly the imagery in this video suits the message of the 8 of Swords card in this reading

Week 29 – Like a Mountain Spread (#TarotReading #WheelofChangeTarot #52WeekProject)

Like a Mountain Spread by Stevie Converse from Sheilaa Hite’s 101 Tarot Spreads by 20 Modern Tarot Masters

I found this spread in Sheilaa Hite’s 101 Tarot Spreads by 20 Modern Tarot Masters.  It looked intriguing and I decided this was something I needed to focus on this week.  So, I shuffled my Wheel of Change Tarot deck, and drew the following cards.

The Tower Rx, Ace of Wands, 10 of Disks & The High Priestess from The Wheel of Change Tarot

I have to admit, I always love when I get these kinds of readings.  The message just seemed so clear to me.  The Tower reversed is showing the nature of the storm is that I have already lost one of the most important things in the world to me – my hubby.  And now I’m dealing with the aftermath of that loss from a practical perspective, an emotional perspective, every possible perspective.  Especially as it pertains to trying to make arrangements for future care of my brother-in-law.  This is the mess that I have been left to clean up after my world has fallen down around me.  That is the storm which has been consuming my life for the last 2 years.

The 10 of Disks appearing in response to bedrock of support seems both revealing and a bit confusing.  From a financial perspective, things will be fine once everything is back on track.  My husband always made it a priority to try to ensure that I would be in a solid financial position if something happened to him.  However, looking at all the drums on this card, it also shows me that some of the bedrock is not as stable as it might appear.  There are people involved in this situation who are beating their drums, promising to help, and in reality they’re creating a lot of sound and fury signifying nothing. The truth is, it’s very easy to pay lip service to something and much more challenging to actually follow through.  I do have the support of friends and family, but there is a limit to what they can do.  Some of them do not live near me or they have their own responsibilities that need attending.  I think some of these extraneous drums refer to some of the people whose job it is to help find a new residence for my brother-in-law.  The ones who promise they’re doing everything they can, and yet there’s been absolutely no progress.  Interesting.

The Ace of Wands as my shelter from the storm tells me that my creative and spiritual endeavors are what will help me get through this with my sanity intact.  I think this reinforces the benefits of my renewed daily spiritual practice as a very healing tool.  It also makes me feel a little less guilty about some of the splurging I’ve done recently on art supplies.  I might have been indulging in some retail therapy; I might have been preparing myself to explore new artistic endeavors. Time will tell.

And, last but certainly not least, the rainbow after the storm is The High Priestess.  I think she’s telling me that everything that I am going through, all of the tools I’m using to help me process & manage my stress, my grief & my frustration, will ultimately leave me with a much better understanding of myself, and a deep inner knowledge of who I am, and who I am becoming.

I found this to be a very positive reading for me.  It reinforces that although things are difficult right now, and I will need to beat my own drum more, things will work out for the best.  I may need to take some action to clear away the drums that aren’t playing my tune, despite what they claim, but I think I can handle it.

Week 26 – How can I use this time to explore my creativity? (TarotReading #FörhäxaTarot #52WeekProject)

In honor of the full moon in Leo, I decided to do a reading for myself focusing on some of the energies associated with this cycle.   Since I have been thinking about expressing my creativity in different areas, I thought that might be a fun topic to explore.  So using my absolutely stunning Förhäxa Tarot,I asked the following questions.

9 of Earth, Queen of Water Rx, 6 of Air – Förhäxa Tarot

What will inspire me?  9 of Earth – I can be inspired by the natural world around me.  Despite the fact that I have limited ability to go beyond the borders of my own property that doesn’t mean I can’t explore the beauty on this property.  Practically every day I’m visited by squirrels, various birds, ducks, occasionally a swan comes by, and my heron sometimes drops in.  They all offer an amazing window into the natural world that surrounds this little piece of land and I need to take advantage of it.  Nature journaling might be the perfect way to get me started and inspire me to try new techniques or revisit old techniques.

What will challenge me?  Queen of Water Rx – I think the Queen of Water is showing me that what will challenge me is what always challenges me, exploring and embracing my inner emotions.  Cup issues are a realm I prefer to avoid.  The truth is, I think the only thing holding me together right now is the fact that I don’t give in to becoming overly emotional.  However, I’m realizing that ignoring or avoiding this part of my psyche also limits me because it’s difficult to find ways to sustain yourself emotionally if you avoid diving into that pool.  The truth is ignoring or avoiding my emotions doesn’t mean they don’t exist and are impacting the situation.  I can see this becoming a challenge when it comes to expressing my creativity because I do believe that one’s creativity is innately tied to one’s emotional state.  So this ought to be fun.

What practical steps can I take?  6 of Air – I think this reinforces the idea that although I cannot physically change my environment right now, I can change my mindset. This message has come up for me several times in the past few months. The only limits on me are ones I impose upon myself. Even if I’m limited in where I can go and what I can do in the physical realm, that doesn’t stop me from using my mind to learn new things; explore new ideas. I need to keep the fact uppermost in my mind.

So, clearly the cards are telling me that my creativity is only limited by my own internal restrictions. I don’t need to leave this property in order to be creative, I only think I do. I’ve recently become enamored with the idea of plein air painting, painting outdoors. Nothing says that needs to be any further than 5′ outside the front door. Implicit in these cards is a message of “just do it”. It has come up for me numerous times as a reminder that much of what limits me is my own internally imposed restrictions. I have to move beyond that to avoid stifling my creativity.

Week 2 Tarot Reading (#TarotReading #SecretForestTarot #52WeekProject)

This is week two of my personal 52 week project. My goal is to do a weekly three card reading and post it to this blog. I plan to stick to it but, as we all know, sometimes life has other plans

My reading for this week: 1) What aspect of my life should I focus on this week? The Moon; 2) What will help me with this? 6 of Wands Rx; 3) What unseen factors impact this? The Empress Rx

So, the Moon shows that I need to listen to my subconscious and find what fascinates in mesmerizes me. I really love how the two figures on this card seem to be in thrall to the Moon and communicating with it on some level. I need to do the same, to trust my instincts and look deep within myself to reconnect and find the answers to this question. For so long I’ve done what I had to do, I’ve kind of lost sight of what brings me joy and fulfillment. Now would be a good time to dive deep and uncover those treasures.

The 6 of Wands reversed guides this transformation by helping me triumph over my self doubt and inner demons. It also shows that I need to reframe my achievement so they’re less about defeating things and more about exploring new terrain and overcoming my own fears.

The Empress reversed reinforces the six of Wands reversed by pointing out that my focus needs to be on tending my own inner landscape, nurturing myself and my creative spirit. For so long I’ve been forced to nurture and care for others and it’s left a bad taste in my mouth. I need to relearn that nurturing and nourishing is not a bad thing, not when it’s done willingly. I spent enough time expressing my Empress energy on others, now it’s time to focus that on caring for and nurturing myself.

Finding Clarity in a Hopeless Place (#Tarot #HauntedHouseTarot)

So, I have been in a funk lately. My head is screwed on wrong; I’m stressed, frustrated and discontented. The world seems headed to Hell in a handbasket and focusing on coloring or reading Tarot feels self-indulgent and shallow to me. At the same time, these are the things helping me maintain my sanity and destress and there’s nothing wrong with that.

So I decided to pulls some cards for clarification. I used the Haunted House Tarot by Sasha Graham and asked: What can help me deal with the current situation and my mental state?

  1. What’s at the roof of my mental state? Knight of Cups Rx
  2. What will help improve it? Knight of Pentacles Rx
  3. What will help me fight off future incidents? Strength Rx

The discontent and dissatisfaction stems from feeling disconnected from divine inspiration; being blocked from achieving my personal grail quest.

The way for me to improve it is to actually manifest things and not get stuck wishing and dreaming. This is the time to move to the next level; move beyond learning into applying what’s been learned.

Preventing future incidences is as simple and as complex as accepting that I have the strength to overcome obstacles; that I didn’t need the feather because I had the ability to fly all the time. I also have to be strong enough to face myself in the mirror and be honest about how I sabotage myself. Sometimes I equate fortitude and inner strength with being stoic and long suffering, a habit I need to break.

So the key focus for me is to explore what brings me joy; quest after my personal grail and accept that things are screwed up right now and there is only so much I can do about it. I also need to prioritize caring for myself. Otherwise I’ll crack up and be if use to no one, especially myself.

#MessageoftheDay – Ace of Cup Rx, 9 of Wands Rx + Strength Rx (#FairyLights #Tarot)

Today I focused on what will help me keep my sanity during this quarantine. I drew

All three cards being reversed suggests the answers can only be found within me. Looking for external solutions is merely a distraction.

The reversed Ace of Cups shows I need to find new ways to embrace joy. What will bring joy into my life? Good question. Things that make my heart sing include reading, coloring, crafting and my hubby. All of these things are relatively unimpacted by the current situation. Unfortunately, that hasn’t stopped me from seeking solace in retail therapy. Instead of crafting from my stash, I keep scouring online sites for things I simply “must have”. It’s pointless and wasteful. I really don’t need more stuff; instead I need to play with the stuff I already have.

I’m also learning to appreciate and enjoy the wildlife around me. In addition to the heron that still sporadically visits, the property around me has chipmunks, squirrels, sparrows, a pair of cardinals and a band of blue jays that regularly visit. I offer them peanuts in the shell and bird food and they seem to appreciate it. The band of blue jays is a riot to watch. The squirrels have learned to show off for me and the cardinals are rather shy but all make me smile and make my heart happy.

The reversed 9 of Wands tells me I need to find ways of being comfortable doing it alone. I’ve never really been a social butterfly but even I am craving human interaction. Online social connections are always an option but not a favorite. More than that, I think this card reflects missing the fun of working in a group; of spending time around fellow hobbyists. That’s impossible as things stand but I gave seen YouTubers streaming live craft sessions which allows one to watch and interact as much or as little as desired. That’s certainly one option to create a “working alone together” ambiance.

Strength reversed reminds me this situation isn’t just about internal fortitude, it’s about physical condition too. Now is not the time to play through the pain. As much as I hate admitting it, I am in an at-risk group. Ignoring public health warnings would be foolhardy and potentially put others at risk. So, as frustrating as it is, now isn’t the time to show how big & brave and fearless I might be. It’s the time to step back and let the worst if it pass. This isn’t weakness, it’s common sense.

So, overall this reading is reinforcing what I already know and reminding me, nagging me, to remember that staying the course is the smart move right now. Not my preferred path, I’ll admit, but definitely the wiser one.

#MessageoftheDay – 10 of Pentacles, Ace of Wands Rx + King of Swords (#FairyLights #Tarot)

The 10 of Pentacles reminds me being happy & safe at home (well safe at home anyway) is a blessing. I am among those lucky enough to be able to afford to do that. Are there challenges, of course, they are but I am truly thankful that it’s even a possibility.

The Ace of Wands reversed reminds me of all the blocked, untapped energy floating around out there. I can’t speak for anyone else, but this entire situation is making me feel fried. I can’t focus and it’s an effort to light my fire enough to begin any kind of project. It’s complicated by the fact that on beautiful days I can’t even leave the house. So I try to satisfy myself but simply observing the world around me. I pay attention to the chipmunks & squirrels, the blue jays and cardinals. I’m beginning to see things I never noticed before because I didn’t take the time.

The King of Swords points out that dealing with this situation from a place of logic and intellect is going to prove more useful and beneficial than freaking out or allowing the frustration to lead to actions that might worsen things. It also encourages me to listen to those with the knowledge and experience to handle these types of scenarios. Despite my paranoid conspiracy theorist tendencies, now is not the time to succumb to speculation.