Week 17 Gifts of Imperfection Spread (#TarotReading #CrookedWayTarot #52WeekProject)

This spread is inspired by Brené Brown’s book of the same name

How can I let go of who I think I’m supposed to be? Master of Skulls Rx – This card is showing me that I need to let go of my fear of becoming my father. Much of my life I imposed certain conditions upon myself because I feared becoming like my father. In fact many of my decisions were to avoid that and thus lead me to developing “anti-dad” tendencies. The Master of Skulls offers me the insight that I can leave this behind. I can move forward without every decision being connected to my father – pro or con. I can work on healing my heart and emotional landscape; become a midwife to my own soul; listen to the poetry in my heart.

How can I embrace who I am? 8 of Skulls – Edgar Allen Poe’s freshly torn from his chest, bisected heart graces the small guillotine. Boy does this describe me right now. Losing my hubby has left me feeling that my heart has been torn asunder and I’m not operating on full thrusters. However it also reminds me that even with a heart not at its best, I can still live a full life. I can accept that a piece of me did die with my hubby but that doesn’t mean I’m dead. I can move into the future, embracing new opportunities and new experiences. Who knows, I may even find love again. I won’t be what I had with my hubby but that doesn’t mean it won’t be worth striving and fighting to experience.

What have my imperfections gifted me? 3 of Sticks – The name Bramwell on this card made me thing of the Bronte sisters’ brother (Branwell), to whom they dedicated much attention and devotion. In this image see a mausoleum with the word Thorn on it. It resonated with my because I have also spent many of my recent years dedicated to caring for someone who cannot fully appreciate it or understand the sacrifices it entails. It is a thorn in one’s spirit that you cannot remove because its removal will cause as much pain as it’s placement. What this card is telling me is that one this aspect of my life is laid to rest, I will be able to go on; I will find new creative outlets, new projects, new things about which to become passionate and engaged.

Master of Skulls Rx, 8 of Skulls & 3 of Sticks from The Crooked Way Tarot

This reading is reassuring because it offers the hope of a broken heart being healed and frustrated creative energies finding new outlets. However, this healing and bursts of energy won’t happen unless I work for it. I have to engage in this process and listen to the messages and lessons I’m being offered. It seems that’s a universal challenge. We are often offered insights, messages and signs telling us how we can make healthy changes to improve our lives and yet we resist. We prefer to remain comfortable in our ruts and avoid making the tough calls. If I want to improve my own life then I have to break this pattern in my own life.

Week 13 Speak to the Dead Spread (#TarotReading #HauntedHouseTarot #52WeekProject)

3 of Swords Rx, 8 of Cups & 7 of Cups from The Haunted House Tarot

Who is here with me?  3 of Swords Rx – This is my brother Tom coming through. His death was violent and this image shares certain similarities.

What message do you want to convey?  8 of Cups – He’s telling me it’s okay to walk away; to move on to a new phase. I believe this is in relation to the resolution of my brother-in-law’s future residence. Even though I know it’s for the best it’s going to be an emotionally wrenching experience to see him relocated. I think my brother is trying to reassure me that it’s okay to feel bad about that while also being excited about what awaits.

What do I need to know?  7 of Cups – The 7 of Cups continues the message of the 8 of Cups. It’s reinforcing the hope that there will be many opportunities and possibilities awaiting me once the situation with my brother-in-law is resolved and I move on to the next phase in my life. It’s a card of magic and potential because it will give me an opportunity to explore different possibilities that will bring joy and happiness into my life

Once again this reading points out things I already understand on an intellectual level but haven’t fully absorbed in my heart. It’s going to be very difficult to watch my brother-in-law leave. At the same time I’m convinced it’s the best thing for him and the best thing for me. It’s not selfish to accept that I can’t do this alone, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy to accept.