#ChattingwithTarot – 6 of Pentacles Rx, The Star + 5 of Pentacles (#Dreamkeepers #Tarot)

Okay, clearly my ancestors are trying to shake me from some bad habits which they also possessed.

Their message “Life is filled with give and take; with giving aid and receiving it. Being willing to accept help is not a sign of weakness. It shows you’re mature and self-aware enough to realize you can’t do it alone. It’s a sign that you are healing and able to be vulnerable enough to risk rejection. It also shows that you retain hope of gaining more autonomy and freedom. The truth is people are often willing to help if you’re able to ask. So stop being so stubborn!”

#TarotDaily – Ace of Wands Rx + 2 of Wands Rx (#WizardsTarot)

So, today while drawing my two cards I asked where I need to focus my energy; what needs my attention? I drew the Ace of Wands Rx and 2 of Wands Rx. I immediately thought of creative energy being stifled; of incomplete, unfulfilled projects. Then, while browsing through Christine Jette’s Tarot for the Healing Heart I read a passage focusing on clearing blockages and connecting with our divine spark in order to facilitate healing and felt like a lightning bolt struck me. This was my message!

It’s time to clear away all those damned blockages I’ve allowed to build up that prevent me from fully healing. It’s time to embrace that divine spark and re-experience the magic and wonder all around me. So I’m going to start working my way through this book and see where it leads. I have a feeling it will be an enlightening journey!

The Body Never Lies (#TarotfromtheDarkSide)

I’ve been reading Alice Miller’s “The Body Never Lies” I felt it resonate within me. In the book, Miller addresses the damage abusive parenting can cause in our lives. Specifically, she connects diseases in adulthood, ranging from asthma to mental illness, to harsh, cruel parenting styles. Miller uses the histories of well-known writers to support her theories and, while I think she makes some overly enthusiastic leaps of logic, her premise rings true.

One of the points Miller makes that I find intriguing is that we block these abuses from our memories because adherence to the 4th Commandment (honor thy father and mother) is so prevalent in our society that we don’t even realize its impact. We can’t reconcile our need to honor our parents with the realities of the abuses we experience and this manifests in physical and mental ailments. Our souls and psyches are broken on the wheel of obedience to our parents’ wills and societal demands that we honor our abusers.

I know in my own life I was frequently told not to speak ill of my parents; that I didn’t’ understand what they had gone through. Depending upon my age and attitude at the time I might ignore the comments or I might choose to unleash a rage-filled diatribe against the offender, explaining to him or her that they were talking out their ass. In some respects I consider myself blessed because I seem to lack that personality trait that requires me to absolve my parents of their sins against me. I may have learned to forgive my parents but it doesn’t ameliorate the abuses to which they subjected me. However, my goal here is not to revisit these abuses or even to explore Miller’s theories. Instead, I want to use Tarot to explore my own responses to this childhood abuse and how I can heal from it.

So my question is: How have childhood traumas impacted me:
Physically? Dancer of Money & the Material World
Emotionally? Muse of Self
Psychologically? Sage of Money & the Material World Rx
How can I move forward and heal this damage? Muse of Money & the Material World Rx


Looking at these cards the initial message I receive is that as a result of my childhood experiences I have a chip on my shoulders; always struggling not to lose myself beneath the weight of those experiences. I can also be emotionally closed off and protective of my heart. At the same time, I am willing to keep struggling uphill and I’m comfortable exploring those dark places within myself; to explore my shadow side. I’ve also put a lot of time and effort into mastering and exploring my psyche so the damage has been exposed, explored and expunged.

Moving forward, I think the key to dealing with this is to remember that it is in the past, it can’t hurt me anymore. I know how to balance the anger and betrayal I feel towards my parents because of those traumas against the love I genuinely do bear them. I can understand some of what damaged them and lead to this abuse but that doesn’t exonerate them. I think the primary difference between my experience and those Alice Miller writes about is that I never accepted it was okay. I never forgot or tried to downplay those memories. I was also fortunate enough to have a husband who bore witness and reinforced that I had every right to hate my parents for what they did to me. So, although I am certainly damaged by my childhood trauma I have also healed and learned to move forward.

#ComparativeTarot The Star (#DeviantMoon, #Transformational, #GoldenTarot, #RWS)



The Star is often interpreted as a card of hope, of darkness waning and returning light, of healing and positivity. When we consider how stars can light the darkest sky and bring a sense of wonder and curiosity, we can see those traits reflected in this card.

It’s interesting that three of the four cards I chose have an image of a female pouring fluid from a pitcher into a body of water. The fourth Star card offers a completely different image of a spider in a web dappled with stars. The images offer a sense of healing waters pouring into the pool; blessed fluid that can offer healing to all those who choose to drink. The spider in the web on the Transformational Tarot Star suggests that we should be tenacious and keep weaving our destiny even when things seem dark because hope is woven into the warp and weft of our lives. Even when it’s web has been destroyed, a spider will often rebuild it creating a beautiful work of art. There is strength and beauty in these images. They remind me of a mother sacrificing it all to continue nourishing and healing her children.

Despite the positive messages I can see in these Star cards, I can also see the negative. How long should someone pour their heart and soul into caring for others? How many times can we rebuild what has been destroyed by careless, thoughtless actions? When is enough enough? Of course, that is the beauty of Tarot cards, they can comfortable embody both these meanings as well as others and force us to face these issues head-on.

The rather bizarre image on the Deviant Moon Star card reminds me that even the most oddball, unfamiliar and even frightening creatures have the capacity to nurture and care for loved ones. It shows me that sometimes what is a monster to one person is another’s maternal figure. The spider on the Transformational Star card brings to mind Charlotte, the spider in Charlotte’s Web. She went out of her way to help and protect Wilbur the pig and in the end sacrifices her own life so that her children will thrive. She reminds us that this is the cycle of life and no matter how much we might wish it otherwise, everything needs to, and should, die. Perhaps the very transitory, fragile nature of a spider’s web and life is what makes them so beautiful.

The RWS and Golden Star cards show a nude woman pouring out healing waters. To me, they speak of needing to strip away all our illusions and delusions, rid ourselves of the trappings of “success”, the distractions with which we surround ourselves in order to avoid facing some truths. If we truly wish to heal, the Star shows us that we need to bare our souls and face the reality of who we are. It reminds me of Inanna’s journey into the underworld. She emerges stronger and with a deeper understanding of things but the process was humiliating and painful. The Star reminds me that this process will be beneficial and healing but no walk in the park.

Even though they use different imagery and I see different messages in them, these Star cards complement each other and add a layer to the overall meaning of this card. Just as nothing in life is all good or bad, all light or dark, no Tarot card is all positive or all negative. The Star offers a hopeful message of healing and light but getting to that place might lead us to the darkest recesses of our souls.

#TarotDaily – Queen of Cups + Knight of Pentacles (Radiant WS)

TarotHunter’s Silver Bullets:

  • You’re feeling torn and conflicted, unsure which path to choose. Part of you wants stability and emotional satisfaction while another side wants to be more daring and seek out physical gratification. In the battle between heart and body, which will win.
  • You dream of a knight in shining armor who will sweep you off your feet but all you’ve encountered so far are well meaning plodders caught up in the day to day grind. Perhaps you’re so caught up in your fantasy that you aren’t seeing things clearly. Your expectations might be unreasonable and unrealistic, leaving you few options and little opportunity for a fulfilling relationship.
  • Do you feel disconnected from your physical self? Are you more comfortable with emotional connections than physical ones? This separation between heart and body can lead to relationship and even health issues down the road. Now might be a good time for some introspection, journal work and physical activities like yoga or Tai chi to help reintegrate these different parts of yourself.

#TarotDaily – Chariot Rx + Devil (Guardian)

TarotHunter’s Salt Rounds:

  • You can move forward in you journey until you’re sure the oath is clear. Right now you’re letting bad choices hold you back.
  • You may believe you can stop your addictive behaviors at any time but your current direction (or lack thereof) suggests otherwise. You can’t steer your course or even trust that you’re moving in the right direction if you can’t even tell you’re not moving.
  • Complaining that you can’t get anywhere in your life when you can’t see the forest for the trees is counterproductive. You can only move out of the shadows when you finally face them and admit they exist. It’s difficult to change things when you don’t admit there is a problem.

If I don’t love & care for myself, why would anyone else?

I ask myself this question a lot. The other day I drew the Ace of Cups Rx and The Empress Rx and they seemed to be addressing this issue for me. I’m one of those people who have loads of advice for everyone – ways to improve their lives, their health, whatever. Unfortunately, I am notorious for not applying such advice to my own life. I can be stubborn and hard-headed, or as my mother likes to call it – thick. I am a relatively intelligent person – or I at least have book smarts and know the answers to a number of Jeopardy questions. Common sense, however, does not appear to be on of my innate skills. Of course, life loves to throw us curve balls and I was finally thrown one that forced me to face a few issues that I’ve been trying to avoid.

I have Type II diabetes and until a few years ago I had it fairly well controlled. Once things got more challenging dealing with my mother-in-law, caring for myself was one of the things that fell by the wayside. Short-sighted and stressed, I chose to live in denial that this behavior would come back to bite me in the ass. Fast forward to July of this year (the day after my 51st birthday, in fact) and my chickens had come home to roost. I visited my doctor and got a call from his office the next day informing me that he wanted to up my medications adding an additional pill for diabetes, Lipitor and a prescription Omega 3 supplement. Now I hate taking more pills than is absolutely necessary but I also don’t want to suffer from complications due to diabetes later in my life. So I bitched and moaned and bitched some more. Then I talked with my hubby and we came up with a plan. I would give myself a specific time period to change my behaviors – eat healthier and exercise more. If there was no improvement at the end of this time then I’d have to start taking the additional pills.

It was difficult at first and I became discouraged and almost gave up a few times but I knew that if I began taking these additional pills I’d be psychologically giving up and I didn’t want to do that. So I hung in there. I’m finally seeing an improvement in my glucose levels and am definitely making healthier food choices. So I’m making progress but this made me wonder why I did this to myself? Why do so many of this do this to ourselves?

We bend over backward to care for others but ignore our own needs. We put off our own needs and try to ignore or avoid the potentially negative repercussions of these choices. Is this something we’re acculturated to accept? Are we programmed to think that our needs come last? I can’t claim to have all the answers but I will say that in my case it was simply a matter of not making myself a priority. I was programmed early on in life to do what was expected of me – to be the good student, the good daughter, the good employee. I craved the positive reinforcement and external validation. It was exhausting.

It took a long time but I think I’m finally reaching a place where my needs count too. They’re not necessarily more important than the needs of loved ones but they are as important. If I don’t take care of myself then I can’t care for them either. It’s a pretty simple concept but one that I traveled a long, winding road to reach. I’m sure I’ll still have days when I backslide but I feel more positive that I’m moving in the right direction.