Finding Clarity in a Hopeless Place (#Tarot #HauntedHouseTarot)

So, I have been in a funk lately. My head is screwed on wrong; I’m stressed, frustrated and discontented. The world seems headed to Hell in a handbasket and focusing on coloring or reading Tarot feels self-indulgent and shallow to me. At the same time, these are the things helping me maintain my sanity and destress and there’s nothing wrong with that.

So I decided to pulls some cards for clarification. I used the Haunted House Tarot by Sasha Graham and asked: What can help me deal with the current situation and my mental state?

  1. What’s at the roof of my mental state? Knight of Cups Rx
  2. What will help improve it? Knight of Pentacles Rx
  3. What will help me fight off future incidents? Strength Rx

The discontent and dissatisfaction stems from feeling disconnected from divine inspiration; being blocked from achieving my personal grail quest.

The way for me to improve it is to actually manifest things and not get stuck wishing and dreaming. This is the time to move to the next level; move beyond learning into applying what’s been learned.

Preventing future incidences is as simple and as complex as accepting that I have the strength to overcome obstacles; that I didn’t need the feather because I had the ability to fly all the time. I also have to be strong enough to face myself in the mirror and be honest about how I sabotage myself. Sometimes I equate fortitude and inner strength with being stoic and long suffering, a habit I need to break.

So the key focus for me is to explore what brings me joy; quest after my personal grail and accept that things are screwed up right now and there is only so much I can do about it. I also need to prioritize caring for myself. Otherwise I’ll crack up and be if use to no one, especially myself.

#MessageoftheDay – 4 of Staffs, 8 of Pentacles & 3 of Swords (#MoonGarden # Tarot)

Today I focused on what will aid me in staying on course with my new journaling goals. I drew:


To me, this reading is a reminder to keep my creative energies focused and balanced; not to overdo things and run out of steam (a tendency of mine).  I also need to reflect along the way so I can fine tune what I’m doing.  To fully real the benefits I also need to be willing to poke at myself; apply my analytical, rational side to evaluating emotional responses to situations.  To make lasting changes in my life I’ll need to sometimes be harsh, almost cruel, in my honesty because repeating the same patterns defeats the purpose.

I’m still enthusiastic about this process but this reading reminds me it’s not all fun and games, at least not if I want lasting, impactful change.

#ChattingwithTarot – 7 of Cups Rx, The Tower + Queen of Pentacles (#Dreamkeepers #Tarot)

Today’s ancestral message: “You’re deliberately ignoring the choices that are available to you; pretending they don’t exist. Instead, you’d rather bitch about the things you can’t do. You need to destroy that pointless, limiting mindset; grind it into the dust beneath your feet, so that you can start over again. You need to relearn who you truly are because you’re not the same person you were 10 years ago. Once you’ve asked yourself those questions you may find yourself in a place of fulfillment, confidence and contentment. You’ll also find yourself better able to nurture and sustain others because you’ll finally be able to nurture and sustain yourself.”

#ChattingwithTarot – Ace of Cups, 3 of Wands + Strength (#Dreamkeepers #Tarot)

Today the ancestors are taking the opportunity to remind me that in order to pursue interesting projects or find ways to collaboratively express my creative energies (which they feel is a key to keeping me strong enough to keep moving forward), I need to look in my heart.  I need to find ways to reconnect with that little girl who loved to dance and wanted a tutu. 

Being strong is very useful but sometimes it means I tolerate intolerable situations because I’m “tough”.  As I have often joked, the women in my family are not delicate, china teacups – we’re sturdy, plain mugs able to take the occasional rough patches.  What this has also meant is that we often put up with difficult situations far longer than is healthy.  Strength and fortitude can become burdens if a situation is endured beyond reason.

I think this message is my ancestors reminding me that being able to take a punch can be useful but that doesn’t mean someone who dreams and dances in a tutu is weak.  It’s a different kind of strength  Listening to your heart and following its wishes mean believing in yourself and being willing to look foolish or open yourself up emotionally in order to achieve those dreams.  Am I strong enough to risk having my dreams laughed at if others feel they’re silly?  I like to believe so but I guess time will tell. 

#ChattingwithTarot – 10 of Pentacles, 2 of Swords + 5 of Swords (#Dreamkeepers #Tarot)

Today’s chat with the ancestors was a bit of a scolding; a chiding if you will. They’re reminding me that lately I feel like I want to climb out of my own skin; I want to escape from all the stuff in my life – responsibilities, possessions, obligations.

The small figure climbing out if the town in the 10 of Pentacles is facing the blindfolded figure on the 2 of Swords. This suggests she has no clear idea what her next move should be. My ancestors are reminding me that in addition to having a plan, I need to find balance in my life. This is been a recurring theme for the past few months, at a minimum. I think they’re getting a little frustrated with my lack of action in this area.

I think the 5 of Swords is showing me that I sometimes feel trapped in a no win situation but that only remains true if I continue to resist making changes. I keep viewing this as an all or nothing scenario but that isn’t true. If I can make changes in baby steps it should reduce my frustration levels and my need for flight.

#TarotfromtheDarkSide – December 2018 Dark Moon Spread (#BohemianGothic)

What is revealed in the darkness this month?

How can I best work with this energy?

What must I be cautious about during this time?

What serves me about this energy?

Wow, this is very interesting to me. I have been thinking about focusing some of my blog posts on the dark side of Tarot and the human psyche in general, hence the #TarotAfterDark. This reading certainly seems to support this idea.

The reversed 5 of Wands suggests that it’s time to put my creative struggles behind me. I’ve found my niche and now I need to begin exploring it further. All those ghostly self-doubts and inner critic can’t hold me back anymore. It’s time to move beyond those spectral annoyances and explore my new domain.

The Sun – how ironic! I’m in my natural element in the dark; it’s my native milieu. I am a Leo sun sign so this card is even more appropriate and impactful. I have always connected more with solar energies than lunar ones and yet I am also drawn to the darker side of human nature. I love exploring the darkness. I even pursued a masters degree in forensic psychology because I wanted to learn what contributes to some of the less pleasant, more horrific elements of human nature and behavior. Maybe this focus will be my platform to share some of my explorations with other interested parties.

The Queen of Pentacles nudges me to be careful about continuing to care for myself; nurturing my creative energies and manifesting them in ways that don’t exhaust me. I sometimes jump into the deep end and don’t consider long term ramifications or burning out. I think the Queen of Pentacles reminds me to go slowly; be practical about how often I can post and how often I want to post. I want this to be fun and enjoyable not become one more fucking thing I gotta do.

The Star reminds me that this is a way to re-energize my connection to Tarot; an opportunity to further explore the relationship between Tarot cards and the human psyche. The Star also gives me hope that this is doable and may even be another tool in my healing journey. Perhaps (if this isn’t too arrogant) this work will allow me to be a beacon in the dark for others who feel overwhelmed or lost.

Who knows, this may turn out to be totally inaccurate but it makes me feel hopeful and excited and maybe at the end of the day that’s more important.

#TarotDaily – 6 of Swords + Temperance (#AllHallows)

What is the state of your creative life? How can you foster it?

My creative life has gone down the sewer, drifted away like an unwanted toy boat. Okay, maybe that’s a bit over the top. However, looking at the image on this card reminds me of the opening scene of It when little Georgie Denbrough chases his toy ship along the sidewalk. It disappears into the sewer and Pennywise appears, snatching Georgie. Could Georgie have avoided Pennywise if he wasn’t so desperate to reacquire his boat? Could I rediscover my creative life if I was willing to explore new ideas & methods; if I didn’t cling to what I knew before? I’m guessing the answer is “Yes”!

Temperance again! Obviously forging a new path blending past pleasures and current obligations is the option for me right now. I’ve known this for some time, but the truth is I need to make sure I carve out time for myself. I need to actually use all of the creative tools at my disposal and not just add to the collection. I need to accept that it’s healthy and beneficial to make time for myself if I want to stay sane.

#TarotDaily – The Star Rx + 8 of Cups Rx (#AllHallows)

What is waiting within you to be realized? What is your next step?

So! I got the High Priestess again. Clearly she has a message that I’m either ignoring or not understanding. Looking at the image on that card I’m struck by the sense of hidden knowledge; wisdom being contained until I’m capable of understanding and embracing it. It’s as if the High Priestess and her Crow are speaking to me but I don’t recognize their language.

The Star Rx is pointing out that I need to look inward. In order to learn the High Priestess’ language I need to understand myself. The truth is she isn’t blocking me from finally learning what she hides; she’s protecting me from more pain. Although I present myself as though the pain and trauma of my past doesn’t hurt anymore, I’m lying to myself. If I want to heal and move forward then I need to truly release that pain and not just ignore it.

My next step is to stop trying to walk away from my emotions. I can’t run fast or far enough to escape it. I need to face it head on; stop treating my sometimes brutal past as a punchline. The reality is that I did survive but there are scars – physical, emotional and psychological. They may not be visible anymore but their energy lingers.

#TarotDaily – The World Rx + 9 of Wands Rx (#AllHallows)

How can I connect with my inner child?

Well, I guess the best way to connect with one’s inner child is to focus inward and not let the world’s crazy or personal daily obligations weigh you down. Focusing on the darkness in the world or personal responsibilities that weigh us down only serves to suck the joy out of life. Sometimes it’s necessary, vitally important, even life saving to take a break and focus on yourself.

Now, of course, the same advice I would give to someone else applies just as much to me but I ignore it all the time. It’s starting to show – the wear & tear; the fraying around the edges. So I have to make a commitment to take small blocks of time for myself everyday. I need to re-acquaint myself with me. I need to reread all those wonderful SARK books I own. I need to browse Jennifer Louden’s Woman’s Comfort Book and Woman’s Retreat Book. I know I can do it if I focus. I’ve done it before. Sometimes being stubborn has it’s advantages.

#TarotDaily – Empress + 9 of Wands Rx (Radiant WS)

TarotHunter’s Salt Rounds:

  • You’ve been so busy nurturing and caring for others that you’ve burnt yourself out. It’s time to take a break and take care of yourself.
  • You’ve exhausted all of your energies and have nothing left to give. You’ve tried a variety of options and nothing has produced the desired results. Maybe it’s time to appeal to a higher power, seek assistance from a non-traditional source.
  • Despite the fact that you have many options to express your creativity and feel productive, you haven’t really done much. Your creative energies have dipped so low that you have nothing left. This would be a good time to treat yourself to some nurturing. Arrange a staycation or an at-home personal retreat for yourself.