#MessageoftheDay – 10 of Swords Rx, Ace of Swords Rx + Queen of Swords (Haunted Mansion Tarot)

I know I’ve been MIA for awhile and I decided it was time to jump back into the swing of things. I’ve decided to take a slightly different approach this time. For each message of the day I ask my matron goddess what message she wants me to share. Then I draw three cards for the answer. Here is today’s message:

“The bullying, betrayal and backstabbing will be left in the past. The new ideas and concepts we all hoped for did not produce the outcomes we actually wanted. Now we need to take a mature, rational yet nurturing approach to things in order to fix the situation.”

I can see this message applying to a number of matters currently being covered in the news. However, I’m not adding my personal take on this. I prefer to put the message out there and let it reach the people it needs to reach. Let whoever reads this interpret it in the way that best suits them.

#TarotDaily – Page of Pentacles Rx + Queen of Swords Rx + Wheel of Fortune (#TrickorTreat)

How are you feeling trapped? How did you get to this point? What is your next step?

I trapped myself into believing I would always be a student, never confident enough to practice or teach. Instead, I convince myself I still have more to learn. I don’t have faith in my skills and knowledge, too afraid to put myself out there.

I don’t value or nurture my own intellect. Instead I pretend I have nothing new to offer. Instead of trying to share my unique insights and thoughts and communicating them to interested parties, I downplay it; denigrate it; treat it as if it’s nothing special.

My next step is to change these things. To paraphrase line from Mad Max:. Beyond Thunderdome, I need to break a deal and spin the wheel. I need to break free from this mindset that undermines my confidence and prevents me from recognizing my gifts. I need to create magick in my life; break the curse under which I’ve placed myself. No one else can do it for me.

This beautifully complements yesterday’s reading.

#TarotDaily – The Fool + 5 of Cups Rx (#TrickorTreat)


What questions should you be asking?

What I should be asking is what new opportunities await out there for me; how should I begin again? I do have faith in my abilities to accomplish things once I fully commit to them. In odd ways, I’m rather fearless (I may have self-esteem issues but as long as I don’t focus on them much, I can hold them at bay).

The reversed 5 of Cups reminds me that I’ve finish mourning what has been left behind. Yes, I’m sorry that my career ended the way it did, but there were aspects of it that were beyond my control so continuing to cry and gnash my teeth about it serves no useful purpose. Instead of obsessing about what has been lost, I need to focus on what I can still explore, still explore and discover about myself.

#TarotDaily – The Fool + Ace of Swords Rx +#TrickorTreat)

What is an accomplishment you need to celebrate?

This question ties in beautifully with yesterday’s. Now that I realize I need to stop undervaluing myself I can consider what I need to celebrate about myself.

Clearly I’m not afraid to look foolish, to take a leap of faith. This was not always the case. It took me a long time to learn to laugh at myself and not take myself so seriously. On the positive side, if I am interested in pursuing something I rarely let fear or self-doubt hold me back. For example, I had no problem returning to college for a master’s in public administration when I was in my forties. I wanted to get the degree so I did it. Having said that, I’m also very comfortable with my skills and knowledge as it pertains to the academic realm. Which brings us to the reversed Ace of Swords.

The reversed Ace of Swords reminds me that I can be too cerebral and get lost in my own head. I have a proclivity towards researching something to death before actively pursuing it. This allows me to bog myself down in so much detail and research that I never actually start anything. I’m very good at studying and a little weak on application.

So, I think these cards are reminding me that I can take a leap of faith; I’m not afraid to start something new. I just have to be careful not to get so lost in my own head researching that I don’t take actual steps to pursuing these new interests.

#TarotDaily – The Fool + 4 of Swords (#AllHallows)

Which of your creative gifts are lying dormant? How might you awaken them?

All of my creative gifts are dormant right now because I don’t have faith in them; I’m afraid to express them. One of my biggest challenges has always been to recognize my gifts and accomplishments. I fell into the mindset of believing that if I am good at something, gifted with a skill, then it mustn’t be that difficult. I also resist exploring unfamiliar territory. If I don’t think I can do something well the first time, I avoid trying it. This has limited me in a variety of ways and us something I’d like to move beyond.

I think one I’ve the ways I can awaken these dormant, unexplored creative gifts is to take breaks for myself. I recently decided to spend 15-30 minutes everyday in a mini-retreat. I will spend the time journaling or crafting, listening to music and meditating. This will enable me to shake myself loose from current, stifling patterns. I think this will help me reconnect to existing creative gifts and discover new ones.

#TarotDaily – 4 of Wheels + 7 of Cups (#SacredBridges)

TarotHunter’s Silver Bullets:

  • You’ve been conserving resources, holding on to what you’ll need to help you move forward. Now you need to decide which dream to pursue; to focus on which dream to manifest.
  • You’re cautious in relationships, protective of your heart and guarded about sharing it. Right now you may have a few options for a romantic partner but in order to make things work you might find it beneficial to limit yourself to one committed partner. You’ll also need to risk opening up your heart and letting down your guards.
  • Feeling stable and secure in who you are and what you’ve achieved in your life has you in a good place right now; a solid point from which to pursue your heart’s desire. Now you just need to determine what your heart’s desire might be.

Believing in Magic

Earlier, I was reading @SusanAkaSARK’s book Living Juicy and was inspired by the entries for yesterday and today. Her focus is on believing – in miracles, in magic, in ourselves. As I read the entries I realized how important that is right now – belief. When the world seems to be determined to go to Hell in a handbasket, when it seems gloomy & hopeless on the best of days it can be difficult to simply believe. I do, despite my bitching, cynicism and occasional pontificating rants, I believe.

I believe that, despite how mind bogglingly insane America seems right now, we will find our way again. I believe in the goodness, kindness and decency of people as individuals. I believe that things can and will get better. Imagine my shock in realizing I’m a closet optimist! 😵 Who’d have thunk it? 😜

So, to share that sense of belief, hopefulness and optimism, here are two songs I hope will cheer you up.

You Make Loving Fun – Fleetwood Mac

Miracles – Jefferson Starship

#TarotDaily – Ace of Coins Rx + 5 of Cups Rx (Toscano)

TarotHunter’s Salt Rounds:

  • Holding on to painful memories and continuing to mourn what is lost prevents you from planting new seeds and manifesting a new reality.
  • If you don’t ground yourself, connect with what is really important in life, emotional instability will consume you.
  • Past opportunities are gone, it’s time to accept their loss and find the way forward. Remaining lost in mourning, continuing to cry over spilt milk, will create a barren, fallow future.

When the High Priestess parts the veil

Over the last year, I’ve given a lot of thought to the High Priestess. She and I have had an on again, off again, sometimes adversarial relationship. I have always resisted seeing myself as psychic or intuitive so I felt that I had nothing in common with the High Priestess (for that matter I’ve always had a strained relationship with The Empress too but that’s another post). Anyway, while looking at the RWS High Priestess one day I was struck by something – I’ve never really considered what lies on the other side of her veil. What is she guarding, blocking, hiding? I know it’s part of her symbolism but it was something I gave only a cursory focus in a reading. At least until now.

Now I finally have an idea what awaits behind her veil – at least for me.I thought about where I am in my life right now. Turning 50 really seems to have thrown a switch in my brain. It’s as if all the previous 20-30+ years of indoctrination and assimilation just fell away; as though the shell encasing me cracked and revealed the true me. Apparently, the true me is much closer to the 13-year-old me than I ever realized. That is what was revealed to me when the High Priestess finally parted the veil. I was finally ready to see what was hidden – the true me, the “me” I was before I tried to fit in and adapt. The feral me, if you will. Quite frankly, she’s a pretty ballsy, awesome, kickass chick.

When I was a teen, my dress code was casual. Boots, jeans, plaid shirts and casual blazers. I loved that look and stuck with it for a long time. It was fine while I was in school but once I started working I needed to upgrade the wardrobe. I’ve never done corporate or dressy well and so I adapted a style that wasn’t really my own but worked. I always felt like I was wearing a costume; like a fake and a phony. However, it felt necessary in order to function effectively at my job. When I dressed too casually, my authority was questioned. So I played the game.

Once I accepted that I would never be returning to that kind of job, I reacquired some of my old favorites – jeans, boots, plaid shirts, and blazers. Of course being a fan of Supernatural means many folks assume I’m emulating the Winchesters’ style, but no, it was mine long before the Winchesters existed. Sorry for the style tangent but my point is that I feel as though I’ve reconnected to the deepest, truest me as symbolized by this style. This is who I was before I was dressing to impress.

It’s been fun and soul satisfying to reconnect to this feral, wild woman. She hasn’t been seen very much over the last few years. Or, more accurately stated, she often showed up at unexpected moments usually connected to alcohol and it wasn’t always comfortable for all involved. She was so suppressed and oppressed that I’m surprised she didn’t throw in the towel and leave the building. Thankfully, she’s as stubborn as I am and hung in there. Getting to know her again has been eye-opening. I look forward to deepening our relationship and re-learning myself.

Perhaps this is the gift, the revelation the High Priestess offers to us. She reveals our true selves once we are ready to handle that revelation. Perhaps this is why people decide to make dramatic life changes when they reach their late 40s/early 50s. Maybe what we’ve always considered mid-life crises are actually attempts to reconnect with our true selves; to find our way back to who we were meant to be. I think it’s going to be an ongoing process but I’m looking forward to the journey.

Oolong with Odin

I have recently begun re-acquainting myself with Runes. I have dabbled in them at various points in time. I know some of the basics of working with them but I want to explore them in more depth. I’ve begun connecting with the energy of the Rune aligned with each half-month (each Rune is assigned a two-week period over the course the year, in order). I have no idea who created this system but it seems a good place to start. I then pull another Rune each day to see what energies might impact me and how they connect to the energies of the Rune associated with the half-month. Based upon the message I get from the joined energies of the two Runes, I then draw two Tarot cards for further insights or clarification. So far it has worked  well. This process is allowing me to begin working with the Runes on a deeper level. However I kept feeling blocked; as though there was more to be gained but I could not access it. After pondering this for a while I realized that my problem is I was avoiding connecting with Odin, the Norse god of magic, runes, war and a plethora of other areas who also happens to rule the Aesir. That’s like learning to drive a car via computer simulation. You may grasp the concepts but you’ll be limited in true understanding.

I’ve been wary of working with Odin for a loooong time now. In the myths, he is often portrayed as quite the trickster. He has his own agenda and we may not fit with it the way one anticipated. I have always felt more drawn to Thor and Tyr for their more plain-spoken and honorable approach to matters. For the most part Thor is not very straight-forward and Tyr’s word is his bond. Odin take a more diplomatic approach to matters in that he doesn’t lie but may not reveal the full truth either. His connection to Loki has also worries me a bit. I can understand the benefits Loki brought to Asgard but his tricksy, sometimes malevolent nature does not appeal to me. All that has become a moot point because I realize that if I want to truly understand the Runes then I need to work with Odin.

Legacy of the Divine 9 of Coins

So yesterday I sat down and had a chat with Odin. I asked if he would find a daily cuppa tea an acceptable offering for picking his brain. In response I drew the 9 of Coins (being more familiar with Tarot I used them for this conversation) which I’m taking as a resounding yes! So I made up each a cuppa oolong tea (Flower of Asia to be exact) and pulled a Rune – Othala, to go along with the Rune of the half-month Eihwaz. I then proceeded to ask Odin questions about the connections between these two Runes and how their energies work together and complement each other. It was a very interesting process. After each question I would pull a Tarot card. If I didn’t understand the response I could pull another card for additional insight but that didn’t happen. Each response I got from Odin made complete sense to me. It was exhilarating! I’m very excited to see where this journey will lead me. For now I’m taking baby steps but very much like a toddler I’m feeling quite a sense of accomplishment already.