Today my ancestors have chosen to remind me that balance is the key to my having it all. It’s the missing piece to the puzzle; the truth I hide from myself.
Of course I know this. It’s another of those truths of which I am well aware and yet continue to ignore. I willfully blind myself to it. Deliberate obtuseness is a long-standing trait of mine. My mother refers to it as being thick and, to be honest, it’s one I inherited from my ancestors. So perhaps this is also a “learn from our mistakes” kind of message.
Now that I’ve been reminded of this truth, what shall I do with it? Time will tell.
My ancestors are being a bit obscure today. I’m not really sure I’m fully grasping their message but this is what I’ve gotten out of it so far.
The only way to fully embrace who I am and what I want to be is to release sense of being entrapped by obligations I didn’t chose. If I want to free myself from the weight and responsibility that weighs me down, I need to change how I perceive them. At the same time, I need to accept that I have chosen to these obligations, even when they prove inconvenient. I need to be careful not get so caught up in my own mind that I trap myself even further. I keep seeing a prison when the only bars that exist are in my mind.
I think this is my ancestors giving me a gentle nudge to remind me that I’m not really trapped, imprisoned. Yes, some of my options are quite limited right now, however, that doesn’t mean that I can’t make choices and engage in activities that will alleviate that sense of oppression. Perhaps it’s also a reminder to focus on the things I have in my life that a good and fulfilling and stop focusing on what I perceive as lacking.
I think the ancestors are reinforcing their message from yesterday; reminding me that finding ways to sharpen my creative saw will come from my heart and spirit, not my mind. My default mode tends to be overanalyzing and trying to be logical about things but in this situation that would probably prove more obstacle than beneficial. If I try to be rational and logical I risk missing what will make me happy and fall into what makes sense.
The mask on the woman in the 7 of Swords reinforces the idea that I hide behind my intellect. I logic myself into and out of situations and that won’t serve me well here. She even holds the swords against her body as though her intellect can be armor against potential dangers. Instead of trying to cover myself in armor, I need to find my quest, follow my heart (or my bliss, to invoke an overused cliche). I need to open myself up to new possibilities and risk being vulnerable. This is further reinforced by the positions of the cards. The woman in the 7 of Swords is looking away from the other two cards while the Knight of Wands faces the woman on the 10 of Cups and offers her a rose. It’s interesting that the woman on the 7 of Swords wears a dress and shoes that remind me of a dancehall costume and the Knight seems to be using the armor as a shield to hide his more traditional suit. The woman on the 10 of Cups is draped in a diaphanous scarf that barely covers anything. She is exposed, vulnerable and open as well as confident and content. She looks down at the cups with fondness as though the memory of the joy they brought her was worth any sacrifice. She is exposed and vulnerable but doesn’t seem weak or frightened.
Of course, I mistrust being vulnerable and unprotected. In the past, it has proven to be dangerous and detrimental to my well-being. However, I am no longer that person. I think I can face the world without my protective coating and manage to survive, and even thrive upon, whatever is aimed my way.
My ancestors are a bit more encouraging and less scolding today.
They’re pointing out that overall I have a good life; one of financial stability and comfort. I have an amazing marriage to a supportive man who appreciates my crazy. What I’m lacking is intellectual challenges; academic pursuits. I need puzzles to solve and knowledge to acquire. I need a quest!
Of course the only thing stopping me is me. I let myself get bogged down in overly analyzing things; getting so caught up in planning that I never do anything. It safer that way. If I don’t actually begin, I can’t fail. Of course, then I’ll never be truly satisfied either. Tallyho!
Today’s chat with the ancestors was a bit of a scolding; a chiding if you will. They’re reminding me that lately I feel like I want to climb out of my own skin; I want to escape from all the stuff in my life – responsibilities, possessions, obligations.
The small figure climbing out if the town in the 10 of Pentacles is facing the blindfolded figure on the 2 of Swords. This suggests she has no clear idea what her next move should be. My ancestors are reminding me that in addition to having a plan, I need to find balance in my life. This is been a recurring theme for the past few months, at a minimum. I think they’re getting a little frustrated with my lack of action in this area.
I think the 5 of Swords is showing me that I sometimes feel trapped in a no win situation but that only remains true if I continue to resist making changes. I keep viewing this as an all or nothing scenario but that isn’t true. If I can make changes in baby steps it should reduce my frustration levels and my need for flight.
Over my afternoon cuppa @HarneyTea’s wondrous Viennese Earl Grey blend, I had my chat with the Divine (today it felt rather like Grandma Burke, my paternal grandmother, decided to pay a call). Her message to me:
What I heard, “Enough already! I get it, you’re feeling frustrated and stifled because life right now requires you to focus on being nurturing and somewhat maternal – not your favorite thing. You think your creative juices are drying up from lack of use. I call bullshit! You aren’t looking at things clearly. Open up you damn eyes and see what’s really going on. See how you can change things so your creative energies find expression. Stop waiting for things to change and make it happen! Stop letting self-pity hold you down. You already know the answer so trust your instincts.”
So, regular card of the day readings aren’t working for me. So I decided to take a slightly different approach and have a daily chat with my Tarot deck.
I got the idea during Rana George’s session on Lenormand at this year’s Divination Day prior to Readers’ Studio. She said she would never do a one card Lenormand reading because a Lenormand reading is like a sentence requiring a subject, verb and object or like a conversation. It needs more than just one card. So I took that concept and applied it to my daily readings for myself. It helps put me in a different frame of mind.
So I sat down with a cuppa tea, pulled three cards and this is the message I received:
Her message:. “Stop resisting change, moving on to the next phase. You’re fighting too hard to maintain the status quo; defending yourself from imaginary threats. The only demons are in your head and if you look at things clearly you’ll realize they don’t exist. Right now the only thing you need to defend yourself from are your own doubts.”