The water outside my in-laws’ house is occasionally visited by a heron (well, I think it’s the same heron). According to WorldBirds.com “The heron is often used as a symbol of grace and beauty. It is not hard to see why this is upon observing the fluid movements and stunning appearance of this bird. Beyond the physical body of the heron, these birds are often found in beautiful places as well. The harmonious regions where land and sea (or pond, lake, or river) meet is the heron’s home. Thus the heron represents three essential energies which exist in perfect balance: land, water, and sky.
The calm stillness of the heron of course represents peace and serenity. On top of this, the heron’s endless patience reminds us of the importance of waiting for opportunities to appear. Timing is a difficult thing to master, but everyone could learn a thing or two from watching the heron at work!”
I decided to focus this reading on heron’s liminal nature. So I pulled a card each to represent land, sea & sky (or physical, emotional and intellectual)
Land/Physical Realm – Gift of Trees
Sea/Emotional Realm – 4 of Stones
Air/Intellectual Realm – Knower of Trees
Gift of Trees, 4 of Stones & Knower of Trees from The Shining Tribe Tarot
The Gift of Trees reveals I need to merge knowledge about what is best for my physical health and combine it with the wisdom to use it in ways that will best help me. I think it’s a reminder that no one else is going to take care of my health except me. I often know what I should do, but that doesn’t mean I actually do it. This card suggests it’s time to change that pattern. Healthier eating is certainly one of the key elements of making this happen.
The 4 of Stones suggests that in order to move on to the next level of my emotional journey, I need to be willing to push past my comfort zone. I need to be willing to go through the doorway and explore uncharted territory. It’s a frightening prospect because dealing with emotions has always made me feel vulnerable and exposed. This is a recurring theme for me, and Heron is once again reinforcing it.
The Knower of Trees suggests I have a core burning within me that needs to learn and think. A core I need to nurture; to continue feeding and tending. My intellectual side needs to be supported in a way that keeps my inner passion and fire for knowledge and information burning. The blooming tree or flower at the core of the figure on this card suggests that pursuit of knowledge and information is at the core of who I am. It’s what inspires me to keep moving, and keep learning. It’s what enables me to grow and bloom as a person, and I need to take care of it to ensure it does not wither and die.
Heron seems to be letting me know that it’s time to make changes in my life that will transform things in a positive healthy way. I’ve been stuck in neutral for too long; allowing things to happen to me rather than taking control and trying to steer the course of my life. Moving forward it will prove more beneficial and enjoyable for me to be more focused and moving towards goals I want to achieve rather than just drifting.
I have developed a daily devotional practice honoring the Earth mother, the nature spirits, the ancestors, the gods and goddesses that my people honored as well as specific individual deities with whom I feel a stronger connection. I try to keep it fairly simple; offering nuts to the Earth mother, critter food to the nature spirits and tea to the ancestors and the gods. I also used tea for the offering when I’m honoring a specific deity or ancestor, except my husband – he gets coffee. So far this seems to work out very well. After making an offering to a specific ancestor or deity, I take an omen ADF style. When the ancestor or deity is Irish, I use my Celtic Wisdom Tarot for the omen. For my Norse deities I pull a rune. Usually this works fine but every so often things get confusing.
One of the deities that I am trying to build a stronger relationship with is The Morrigan. I have felt drawn to her for many years, but haven’t actually taken any steps to enhance that bond. So recently when I made my first offering to her as part of my daily devotional practice, I received The Shaper (Empress) reversed as my omen/message. As soon as I saw this card I heard a voice in my head telling me “I am not your mother and this is not going to be a kinder, gentler relationship”. Honestly this felt completely appropriate and typical of the kind of energy that I have often felt while working with The Morrigan. She’s not soft and cuddly, and if that’s what I’m looking for she would not be the best goddess with whom to align myself.
The next time I made an offering the card I drew was the Augury of Skill (Ace of Wands) reversed. The image on the card represents the Irish deity Lugh and his spear, which is considered one of the treasures of the Tuatha de Danann. One of the aspects described to Lugh is that he is “many skilled”. So I can see him being associated with the suit of Wands because he is a source of creativity. However having this show up reversed is the message I received confused me a little bit.
The next day the deity that I honored is The Dagda, the Good Father of the Tuatha de Danann, a god of great knowledge, a skilled warrior, and an inspired musician. He possesses a cauldron from which none walk away hungry. He also happens to be considered by many to be the husband of The Morrigan. On a personal note, my husband always struck me as a wonderful embodiment of The Dagda’s energy manifested on this plane. When I pulled a card to receive my message from him, I received the Queen of Battle, The Morrigan. In my head I heard a voice telling me “you need to make sure you understand who she is and what she will be requiring of you”. In other words I had to make sure I had made “right” my relationship with The Morrigan.
So to help me figure out the best way to do this I pulled three more cards for clarification. I asked The Morrigan what was the best way to establish a “right” relationship with her? I drew Woman of Battle Rx, Quest of Art, and Woman of Art (Page of Air Rx, 10 of Water & Page of Water). When I looked at these cards I got distracted by the figures from Irish mythology and folklore that they represented. The Woman of Battle is Queen Maeve. The 10 of Art shows the Salmon of Wisdom being found in The Well of Segais. The Woman of Art represented by Boann, the goddess of the Boyne River whose mythology is also associated with The Well of Segais. My initial response to reading these cards is that The Morrigan was showing me that our relationship will be a battle but not one of the mind. She doesn’t really need to work on my intelligence or mental abilities, because I am fairly comfortable and confident in these areas. However the presence of the 10 and Page of Water suggest that where we will battle is the realm of emotions, the heart. I decided to pull the matching cards from the Förhäxa Tarot to help clarify things for me. It also intrigued me that the two Water cards are connected with a well known as a source of great wisdom. In other words, if I want to actually acquire wisdom, not just knowledge, I need to dive into The Well of my own emotions.
Celtic Wisdom Tarot Förhäxa Tarot
Looking at these cards I had to laugh. The wasp-like shape of the Queen of Air reinforces the idea that I’m going to get stung with some things, will be hurt, but ultimately will be helped. The only way for me to move forward is to let go of the past. The Page of Air Rx suggests that in the past focusing more on my intelligence, logic, and knowledge was a way of protecting myself. If I became like Mr Spock, I wouldn’t have to worry about being hurt by the slings and barbs of others. In some ways, I see myself as Sheldon from Big Bang Theory. I may be insensitive and seem heartless, but most times it’s because I just don’t understand what it is people want or expect from me. I know I should offer distressed people a hot refreshing beverage but don’t always understand why. The roots of that developed as an effort to protect my very soft inner center from the pain of friends who betrayed me or classmates who mocked me. I understand that in many cases they were as clueless as I was, but those barbs dug deep and still reside in my soul. As a result, I put on very thick armor to pretend none of it impacted me, didn’t bother me. In reality I was curled up and crying on the inside.
Similar messages have appeared for me numerous times over the past few months. It has become clear that one of the lessons I need to learn moving forward is to grow more comfortable with that side of my nature; to explore my inner emotions. This is rarely something I will do voluntarily. So it makes perfect sense that the only lens through which I would be willing to explore this side of my nature is the one provided by The Morrigan. She’s not going to cuddle me and Pat me on the back saying “there, there”. Instead she is basically going to slap me at the back of the head and say “put on your big girl panties, and keep going. All of this is in the past. It can’t hurt you anymore unless you let it”. The truth is I know that, but very much like exercising or eating right, that’s often the harder choice to make, so I avoid it. The Morrigan is showing me she’s not going to let me avoid this anymore. I’m both a little terrified and excited. This will really be uncharted territory for me.
In honor of the full moon in Leo, I decided to do a reading for myself focusing on some of the energies associated with this cycle. Since I have been thinking about expressing my creativity in different areas, I thought that might be a fun topic to explore. So using my absolutely stunning Förhäxa Tarot,I asked the following questions.
9 of Earth, Queen of Water Rx, 6 of Air – Förhäxa Tarot
What will inspire me? 9 of Earth – I can be inspired by the natural world around me. Despite the fact that I have limited ability to go beyond the borders of my own property that doesn’t mean I can’t explore the beauty on this property. Practically every day I’m visited by squirrels, various birds, ducks, occasionally a swan comes by, and my heron sometimes drops in. They all offer an amazing window into the natural world that surrounds this little piece of land and I need to take advantage of it. Nature journaling might be the perfect way to get me started and inspire me to try new techniques or revisit old techniques.
What will challenge me? Queen of Water Rx – I think the Queen of Water is showing me that what will challenge me is what always challenges me, exploring and embracing my inner emotions. Cup issues are a realm I prefer to avoid. The truth is, I think the only thing holding me together right now is the fact that I don’t give in to becoming overly emotional. However, I’m realizing that ignoring or avoiding this part of my psyche also limits me because it’s difficult to find ways to sustain yourself emotionally if you avoid diving into that pool. The truth is ignoring or avoiding my emotions doesn’t mean they don’t exist and are impacting the situation. I can see this becoming a challenge when it comes to expressing my creativity because I do believe that one’s creativity is innately tied to one’s emotional state. So this ought to be fun.
What practical steps can I take? 6 of Air – I think this reinforces the idea that although I cannot physically change my environment right now, I can change my mindset. This message has come up for me several times in the past few months. The only limits on me are ones I impose upon myself. Even if I’m limited in where I can go and what I can do in the physical realm, that doesn’t stop me from using my mind to learn new things; explore new ideas. I need to keep the fact uppermost in my mind.
So, clearly the cards are telling me that my creativity is only limited by my own internal restrictions. I don’t need to leave this property in order to be creative, I only think I do. I’ve recently become enamored with the idea of plein air painting, painting outdoors. Nothing says that needs to be any further than 5′ outside the front door. Implicit in these cards is a message of “just do it”. It has come up for me numerous times as a reminder that much of what limits me is my own internally imposed restrictions. I have to move beyond that to avoid stifling my creativity.
Card 1 – Positive aspects of pushing this issue? 2 of Cups Rx Card 2 – Negative aspects of pushing this issue? The Moon Card 3 – Positive aspects of taking a more Stoic approach? Page of Wands Rx Card 4 – Negative aspects of taking a more Stoic approach? The Devil Rx Card 5 – How can I ensure the best possible outcome? Queen of Wands Rx
On Friday a hearing was held to determine if my brother-in-law can be forcibly removed from this house in order for it to be sold. The problem is that he hasn’t left the property in over 30 years. It’s why I ended up in this position in the first place. I can’t afford to keep the house. I certainly can’t afford the renovation that it needs and, as long as I’m stuck here taking care of him, I have no way to earn any income. So I tried to push through the sale and the state, also known as his legal guardian, went to court to stop it. They were successful. The judge decided that it is not in my brother-in-law’s best interests to be forcibly removed from the home. This leaves me with two choices: I can either amp things up from a legal perspective, possibly hiring a lawyer of my own; or I can take a more Stoic approach and handle the things I can but accept that much of this is out of my control and just go with the flow. Admittedly this is not my usual approach to things, but my usual approach has led to many, many months of me banging my head against concrete walls.
So I decided to pull some cards for some clarification. Within this context, pushing the issue would mean amping up the legal proceedings and really kicking up a fuss. Taking the more Stoic approach would mean taking a more thoughtful, grounded approach rather than my usual shoot from the hip style.
The first thing that struck me about the cards is that four out of the five of reversed. This suggests to me that there’s a lot of blockages going on that are impacting this situation and the things will have to get turned on their head before changes will occur. The 2 of Cups Rx as a positive aspect of pushing this issue implies to me that being aggressive will make no one happy. Even if the sale does go through, presumably the seller and me would be happy but it’s not going to bring me the joy that I think it will. I think The Moon reinforces this by implying that I’m deluding myself if I think that pushing this is going to produce the results that I want.
The Page of Wands Rx suggest that the positive side of taking a more Stoic approach is that it will give me more time to focus on where I want to focus my energies once I have the freedom to do so. The Devil Rx shows that the negative side is that I’m going to be tethered to this situation until they’re able to come up with a strategy to relocate my brother-in-law to a residential facility. This isn’t an addiction or a choice I’ve made to commit myself so I can’t free myself right now.
The key to this entire reading for me is this final card – the Queen of Wands Rx. I identify so much with the Queen of Wands that seeing It reversed here screams to me “you can’t resolve this issue by taking your typical shoot from the hip approach”. This isn’t a situation that needs energetic and fiery assertiveness. It needs subtlety and strategy. So it’s time to tap into my Capricorn Moon, and give my Leo Sun a bit of a rest.
The Hanged Man, 4 of Water & Page of Earth from the Förhäxa Tarot
As an interesting addendum to my reading, this is a reading a friend did for me regarding this issue using the Förhäxa Tarot. I think it ties in very well with my reading because it look like the figure on The Hanged Man man is being held aloft by a demon. Maybe this is The Devil’s tethering her in place because she needs to be patient and give up control of the situation. The 4 of Water speaks of having to make choices that we may find undesirable which certainly ties in with the reality of this situation right now. I’m getting so caught up in my own emotions about the situation that it’s making me frantic and I need to let it go. The Page of Earth offers what looks to me like a hopeful resolution to all of this. She offers the message that taking baby steps in a grounded and more practical way will produce the seeds of achieving my heart’s desire, which is selling this house and moving back into my own home.
So although things seem rather challenging right now, if I take time and plan a strategy, and accept that it’s not going to happen on my timetable, the situation will resolve itself in a positive way for me and my brother-in-law.
Where have I wasted time? 7 of Swords Rx – I wasted time reclaiming my autonomy and freedom. I allowed external forces to determine how I spent my time and now I need to reclaim that power. I also need to fully accept that this is the right path to take. Part of the reason I let things go on as long as I did was because I felt obligated to care for my brother-in-law and guilty at the idea of having him removed from what has been his home. I need to remember that, as I’ve mentioned to several friends, I’m the sanitation worker cleaning up after the parade. I had nothing to do with deciding the parade route or who would be marching in the parade but I’m left cleaning up the crap after everyone’s gone. Discard is telling me it’s time to get over that mindset.
What walls need to be torn down to let me out? 3 of Wands – I need to stop being an observer in my own life and realize these agencies helping my brother-in-law aren’t working on this project with me. This isn’t a collaboration between us. They’re using me as a tool and keeping me stuck on that pier because it suits their purposes. There’s no malice behind this, but I need to break free and take a more active role in creating the life I want.
What will help me escape? Queen of Cups Rx – I need to love myself more and protect my heart. It’s time to get more in touch with my inner emotional landscape and not let my feelings be used against me. On several occasions the agencies trying to find a residence for my brother-in-law have tried using guilt to get me to do things. I need to be aware when this happens and not succumb to it.
What if I let the show go on? King of Coins Rx – If I let the show go on I will be broke both financially and physically. I’m putting my physical and financial well-being at risk because I’m trying to work with the social service agencies trying to help my brother-in-law. I think with this card is reminding me is that I need to be careful not to overextend myself. I can only do what I can do.
7 of Swords Rx, 3 of Wands, Queen of Cups Rx & King of Coins Rx – The Slavic Legends Tarot
One other thing that I found very interesting about this reading is that I drew a card from each of the four minor suits. This suggests to me that, overall, dealing with this situation is going to require balance between the various aspects of myself but that this isn’t a big picture issue. There’s no overarching life lesson that needs to be learned. It’s simply a day-to-day issue and I need to approach it in a calm, grounded and loving way. What I need to keep uppermost in my mind is that I need to treat myself the same way as the others involved in this.
“Happiness lies not in finding what is missing but in finding what is present.” – Tara Brach
What is missing from my life? The Moon
What is present in my life? Art
What will help me find happiness? Mistress of Skulls Rx
The Moon, Art & Mistress of Skulls from The Crooked Way Tarot
My first reaction seeing the Moon in answer to “What is missing in my life?” was that perhaps what I’m missing are dreams. The more I thought about it, the more wrong it felt. Then it hit me that the answer couldn’t be more obvious. The idea that anything is missing from my life is an illusion. Well, except for the obvious answer of my husband. However if I were to interpret the meaning of this card in that way it would completely contradict the whole point of the reading. So, perhaps the Moon is showing me that’s what’s missing is a need to howl at the Moon for things that aren’t really there and aren’t really necessary.
Art or Temperance showing up in response to “What is present in my life?” is especially impactful because I’ve drawn Temperance a number of times in the past year as something I need to aspire to or achieve. In this position the suggestion is that it has been achieved. This balance is present in my life and contributing to my happiness. On a practical level this is seen in my efforts to exercise more, eat more healthily and to take a little bit more time for myself. At the same time I’m trying to finalize arrangements for my brother-in-law’s move to a residential facility. This is not the final destination, but an action that will need regular recalibration.
Seeing the Mistress of Skulls Rx tells me that what will help me find happiness is getting familiar with my own heart and dreams; nurturing my emotional side. I think she’s showing me that a gentle, supportive exploration of my emotional responses and relationships would be a useful exercise to aid me in finding happiness. The reality is if I’m unable to process emotions and relationships, and listen to my heart, finding happiness will be an almost insurmountable challenge.
ADDENDUM:. A friend pointed out something I completely missed on The Moon card – the image of the moon has a clock face superimposed upon it. She suggested it was showing that time to do what I want might be something missing in my life. This is true but it’s also something that’s coming to an end soon. However what did strike me is that the hands of the clock are pointing at 10 and 2. When I was learning how to drive that was always the mantra of my driving instructor “keep your hands at 10 and 2 on the wheel”. So to me this suggested even if I haven’t had the time that soon coming to an end and I’ll be able to drive my life my own way.
Something else I missed in my initial interpretation of these cards is that the Mistress of Skulls is sitting at a desk writing in a book with a skull shaped mug before her. I think this is a practical suggestion for me – what will help me to find happiness is using tools like journaling, medication and relaxing with tea to help me explore my inner landscape, reacquaint myself with my inner emotions and desires.
So this week I decided to do a little more exploration into The Moon card from my previous reading. In my interpretation I talked about finding something that would enroll in mesmerize me. During a conversation with a friend this week, she asked me what that might be. I realized I don’t necessarily have a clear idea at this point. So, I did what I always do I turned to Tarot to clarify things for me. And these were the cards I drew
2 of Cups Rx, 8 of Swords Rx & Queen of Swords from the Tarot of the Secret Forest
I think the 2 of Cups reflects the loss of my husband, the loss of being in a loving, supportive, committed relationship. For so long, my life was focused on being part of a duo now it’s time to move beyond that to become a partner to myself. It reminds me of the book Imagine a Woman in Love with Herself. I think that’s what I need to become enthralled and mesmerized with – falling in love with myself. I need to learn how to be loving and supportive to myself and that’s where I need to focus my energies right now.
The 8 of Swords reversed ties into this by showing that in order to manifest this self-love I need to break free of the brambles in my path. They won’t hold me back unless I allow it. The best way for me to overcome them is to see the situation more clearly and improve my mindset. However it’s hard to see that right now because I feel as though I’m surrounded by brambles and can’t possibly find my way through. It’s rather like the original legend of Sleeping Beauty – the castle in which she slept was surrounded by an impenetrable fence of thorny brambles which presented all but those brave enough to even attempt to break through. Of course, in this situation the brambles aren’t physical they’re psychological and I’m not in need of someone else saving me. I can save myself as long as I believe in myself.
And last, but not least, we come to the Queen of Swords who shows me what will help me continue to nurture this energy. Once again, I am struck by the fact that this is a swords card, which means it’s about my mindset and my beliefs. I have the tools and the skills to cut through all this bullshit holding me back, but I have to actually use them. I can handle being alone but I also need to accept that there will be a learning curve, and cut myself some slack. I have to be realistic about what I can do alone and what I need help to achieve, and be willing to ask for that help when necessary. For me, the Queen of Swords here is about being smart and realistic and not thinking that I can tough it out.
I find it interesting that this reading starts out focusing on my emotions but then focuses on my state of mind. At the end of the day, if my mindset is negative I’m not going to be happy. It’s okay to have bad days but I need to be careful not to lose myself in the bad days. I do have faith in myself and I have the confidence that I can forge a new path going forward. It won’t be easy but I’m up to the challenge. In fact, I’m looking forward to the challenge.
I use an Android app called Uni Tarot to randomly pick my card of the day. I prefer this app because it allows me to upload whatever deck I feel like using. This cycle I’m using The Light Seer’s Tarot. Recently The Devil was the card drawn. As I looked at the image on this card it struck me that this figure reminds me of a cult leader – he’s attractive, exudes a charisma and sexual energy mixed with soulful eyes that promise he’ll heal your wounded soul. All the while, attached to his fingers are the strings that hold you captive. I’ve always found myself fascinated by cult leaders and the people willing to give up their autonomy to follow him. This inspired me to do the following reading.
What is The Devil offering? 10 of Wands Rx
What will it cost? The World Rx
What need is he fulfilling? Queen of Pentacles
What’s the best way to handle this? 4 of Pentacles Rx
Looking at this reading, a few things struck me right away. The first is that three of the cards are reversed which suggests The Devil and all his temptations tap into hidden needs and the shadow side that we choose to ignore. This suggests it’s unhealthy and ultimately not in our best interest to succumb to his seduction. The second thing I noticed is that two of the cards are Pentacles and The Devil is associated with Capricorn which is an earth sign. Another hint that perhaps the false promises The Devil makes allow us to feel more secure and as though the ground beneath our feet is not going to shift unexpectedly.
Looking at the first card drawn, I was struck by how appropriate its message is. I think one of the things that attracts people to cults or fundamentalist religious paths is that you no longer have to carry the burden of free will; you don’t need to be responsible for making decisions. They tell you what rules to follow and what to think. They tell you what the consequences will be if you break these rules. To some people that may feel like a burden has been lifted from their psyche.
However the second card, The World Rx, reminds us of the dangers inherent in some admitting to the will of others. We risk losing everything in which we once believed, that we value and hold dear. It’s both that simple and that complex.
I found the Queen of Pentacles an interesting card to appear in response to this question. I suppose there is something that seems nurturing and supportive in The Devil’s promises. She persuades us to believe that she will care for us, attend to all our needs and all we have to do for her is follow. She allows us to feel as though we are now fulfilled because we have found our path, even if it is ultimately a false one. Another aspect of any cult is that they usually siphon all of your assets which may also be reflected in the Queen of Pentacles.
And finally we see the 4 of Pentacles Rx, another interesting card in response to what was asked but one which makes perfect sense. I think it’s a reminder that very often what leads people into the clutches of cults whether religious or political is that they play into our fears of scarcity and losing what we have. They convince us that there is an “other” out there that wants to take everything we own; everything we’ve worked so hard to acquire. It feeds into our fears and makes us clutch our positions even more closely like a miser. It leads us down a path of being not only financially impoverished but spiritually impoverished as well. the reverse nature of this card suggests that the way to free yourself from The Devil’s illusions and influences is by letting go of your fears and embracing the others. Welcome them and befriend them, give them the benefit of the doubt and consider what you can work together to build rather than what you’re convinced they wish to take away from you.
This reading seems so appropriate right now because I think as a nation we have gone through a time of listening to devils’ illusions and false promises and now we are left reeling and unsure how to move forward. I think what we have to do is pick ourselves up stop holding on to our fears and allow ourselves to embrace the possibilities that lie ahead.
Something that occurred to me is I was reviewing this post is that in some birth card systems the shadow side of The Devil is The Lovers because 15 reduces down to six. Maybe that is ultimately the answer to the seductive false promises of The Devil – love and aspiring to connect with our higher selves, our better angels. Instead of listening to The Devil that allows us to wallow in our pettiness and venality perhaps we can connect with our higher side and aspire to be greater than the sum of our parts.
So, those who know me can testify that I have an advanced case of verbal diarrhea; an unregulated need to share my opinion whether or not it’s been requested. I believe that it’s often tolerated because my victims are friends who presumably like me and tolerate my less pleasant aspects. I will also presume that those who don’t like this quality avoid me (and I understand, truly, I consider myself an acquired taste). I think one of the most annoying features of this syndrome is my almost pathological need to inform anyone within listening range when I don’t like someone. I will claim, if asked or taken to task, that I’m just being honest (although my mother swears I use “truth” as a weapon) but I have realized there is more too it than that.
I have a complete and utter intolerance for phony personas or fake friends; I cannot stand hypocrites or people who say one thing and do another. In my convoluted mind, blurting out my dislike of someone is an effort to prevent being a phony. If I say upfront that I don’t like them, then it’s a preemptive strike if I say something negative later in the conversation (“I told you I did like him/her/it”). It’s also a defense mechanism. In my adolescence and teen years I often found myself in situations where I was accused of saying nasty things about people when I hadn’t. So I decided if I’m going to be accused of it I’ll simply take a proactive approach. This may be honest and upfront but I have a feeling it can be exhausting and grating to listen to me rant about it. So I decided to do a reading on it.
Using the Darkness of Light Tarot I pulled these cards to answer the following
What is the root of this behavior? 4 of Cups Rx
What benefits does it bring? Knight of Blades
What challenges does it cause? Queen of Wands
How can it best be handled? 10 of Wands
I see the reversed 4 of Cups as reflecting the defensiveness I mentioned earlier. I got tired of being emotionally hurt and vulnerable, felt depressed about these false accusations, so I hunkered down and hid behind a more assertive, aggressive persona. A persona reflected by the Knight of Blades.
He is a benefit because who would fuck with him? Who can hurt him? He looks impervious and ready to battle if necessary. Unfortunately, he’s also closed off and shielded from interpersonal interactions and human contact which can create a cold, lonely person.
The Queen of Wands points out that one of the challenges caused by this behavior is that I can’t truly be myself. I identify strongly with the Queen of Wands and although she can be opinionated and strong willed, she’s also warm and welcoming. She’s friendly and loyal (traits I might actually possess if one can get passed the prickliness and verbal diarrhea). If I’m so busy shielding and defending myself I can’t act very welcoming and friendly.
The 10 of Wands shows that it can best be handled by considering whether I still want to carry this weight. When it feels too heavy and burdensome, then I’ll put it down or shift it but as things stand I’ll stubbornly keep moving forward because “I can handle it”. At the end of the day I need to be more discerning about when I unleash my Knight of Blades and when I express my Queen of Wands.
At least I’m starting to consider this behavior and I hope that will help me make beneficial changes.
So, it’s been a while. Like many of you I’ve gotten lost in the crazy. Between politics, health concerns and personal losses I can honestly say 2020 has been a year of major suckage so far. So to distract myself I’m rededicating myself to journaling – art, writing and bullet.
I was inspired by seeing an example of Benjamin Franklin’s daily schedule. It’s elegant and profound in it’s simplicity.
It excited me and made me want to follow his lead. I love the idea of taking time each day to focus on what good I shall do and what good have I done this day. Such a simple question and yet I already feel challenged answering it.
Ironically, many years ago I used a Franklin Covey planner and even attended a workshop designed to aid my in getting the fullest benefit from this system. I found it too boring and time intensive to suit my needs and style. It’s a shame such a simple, effective system became bloated and bogged down (well, at least I thought so).
So, anyway, to celebrate this new focus I decided to ask the Tarot what will best help me stay on course with this new goal. I drew:
My first response is to laugh because I’m a Leo sun sign so both Strength and The Sun connect with that part of me. And, as those who have followed me for a while might remember, I’m really not a big fan of the suit of Cups (I’m working on it, I’m working on it!). Considering these three as a whole I think the key for me will be following my heart and nurturing my emotional side. That will help me take the inner beast that can be easily distracted and become resistant and unpleasant. Once I’ve embraced and bonded with that inner wildness and feralness, I’ll be able to shine and feel accomplished and victorious.
Well, that’s my take on it. Now I’ll see if I can achieve this goal.
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