Today’s ancestral message: “You’re deliberately ignoring the choices that are available to you; pretending they don’t exist. Instead, you’d rather bitch about the things you can’t do. You need to destroy that pointless, limiting mindset; grind it into the dust beneath your feet, so that you can start over again. You need to relearn who you truly are because you’re not the same person you were 10 years ago. Once you’ve asked yourself those questions you may find yourself in a place of fulfillment, confidence and contentment. You’ll also find yourself better able to nurture and sustain others because you’ll finally be able to nurture and sustain yourself.”
Today I enjoyed a cuppa Harney & Sons Malachi McCormick blend while chatting with my ancestors. We had quite the chat.
Their message, “Nitwit! You’re missing the point! Instead of looking at the whole picture you’re focusing on details. Open your eyes, look inside your heart. What you seek can’t be found without but only within.”. This was followed by a metaphorical smack upside the head.
So, clearly, I was misinterpreting my ancestors’ message as far as the 10 of Pentacles is concerned because it kept coming up. So I did something I rarely do, looked in the companion book. The first sentence was “Honor the endowment of your roots.” D’oh! 🤦 The author then goes on to discuss how we need to connect with our roots so that we can then move forward and express that energy in our lives; ground ourselves so we can soar.
That makes do much sense because one of the motivating factors that influenced my taking on a caregiver role for both my mother-in-law and brother-in-law is that’s how my mother’s family did it. That’s what I saw growing up. In her later years, my great-grandmother suffered from some type of dementia and I watched my mother’s aunts and uncles rally round and take care of her so she could stay at home. My great-grandmother wasn’t relegated to the sidelines either. Despite her inability to fully comprehend what was going on, she sat at the dinner table with us, she was there when we sang Happy Birthday, she was there for holiday celebrations. So my experience growing up was that when family members were in bad shape those that could picked up the slack. That is how I continue to live my life.
My ancestors are reminding me that this is my inheritance but it doesn’t have to be my jail cell. I can still find ways to enjoy my life; find things that bring me joy and make my spirit soar. Right now, I’m restricted to things that I can do within the house and with limited flexibility and freedom but that doesn’t mean I can’t try. The key is looking within myself and changing my perceptions. I understand that focusing on the negative just enhances it, but sometimes I forget. So, what I need to do is focus on the positive; retrain myself to fully embrace the little things in my life that make me happy. I can also be a little more patient with myself when I lose sight of this.
I think the ancestors are reinforcing their message from yesterday; reminding me that finding ways to sharpen my creative saw will come from my heart and spirit, not my mind. My default mode tends to be overanalyzing and trying to be logical about things but in this situation that would probably prove more obstacle than beneficial. If I try to be rational and logical I risk missing what will make me happy and fall into what makes sense.
The mask on the woman in the 7 of Swords reinforces the idea that I hide behind my intellect. I logic myself into and out of situations and that won’t serve me well here. She even holds the swords against her body as though her intellect can be armor against potential dangers. Instead of trying to cover myself in armor, I need to find my quest, follow my heart (or my bliss, to invoke an overused cliche). I need to open myself up to new possibilities and risk being vulnerable. This is further reinforced by the positions of the cards. The woman in the 7 of Swords is looking away from the other two cards while the Knight of Wands faces the woman on the 10 of Cups and offers her a rose. It’s interesting that the woman on the 7 of Swords wears a dress and shoes that remind me of a dancehall costume and the Knight seems to be using the armor as a shield to hide his more traditional suit. The woman on the 10 of Cups is draped in a diaphanous scarf that barely covers anything. She is exposed, vulnerable and open as well as confident and content. She looks down at the cups with fondness as though the memory of the joy they brought her was worth any sacrifice. She is exposed and vulnerable but doesn’t seem weak or frightened.
Of course, I mistrust being vulnerable and unprotected. In the past, it has proven to be dangerous and detrimental to my well-being. However, I am no longer that person. I think I can face the world without my protective coating and manage to survive, and even thrive upon, whatever is aimed my way.
Today the ancestors are taking the opportunity to remind me that in order to pursue interesting projects or find ways to collaboratively express my creative energies (which they feel is a key to keeping me strong enough to keep moving forward), I need to look in my heart. I need to find ways to reconnect with that little girl who loved to dance and wanted a tutu.
Being strong is very useful but sometimes it means I tolerate intolerable situations because I’m “tough”. As I have often joked, the women in my family are not delicate, china teacups – we’re sturdy, plain mugs able to take the occasional rough patches. What this has also meant is that we often put up with difficult situations far longer than is healthy. Strength and fortitude can become burdens if a situation is endured beyond reason.
I think this message is my ancestors reminding me that being able to take a punch can be useful but that doesn’t mean someone who dreams and dances in a tutu is weak. It’s a different kind of strength Listening to your heart and following its wishes mean believing in yourself and being willing to look foolish or open yourself up emotionally in order to achieve those dreams. Am I strong enough to risk having my dreams laughed at if others feel they’re silly? I like to believe so but I guess time will tell.
My ancestors are a bit more encouraging and less scolding today.
They’re pointing out that overall I have a good life; one of financial stability and comfort. I have an amazing marriage to a supportive man who appreciates my crazy. What I’m lacking is intellectual challenges; academic pursuits. I need puzzles to solve and knowledge to acquire. I need a quest!
Of course the only thing stopping me is me. I let myself get bogged down in overly analyzing things; getting so caught up in planning that I never do anything. It safer that way. If I don’t actually begin, I can’t fail. Of course, then I’ll never be truly satisfied either. Tallyho!
So, my ancestors were unexpectedly charitable today. Instead of the usual smack upside the head (in a loving, concerned manner of course), I got a bit of an “attagirl”. They’re reminding me that I’ve learned a lot over the years. In fact, I’ve learned enough that I could teach certain things if I chose to do so. I just need to maintain confidence in myself; keep my expertise, enthusiasm, and ability to engage others in the forefront. I also need to make sure I enjoy what I’m doing. At the end of the day what I know and how I convey that is only beneficial if I enjoy doing it. Otherwise, it becomes just one more chore over the course of my life.
“Find an outlet for your energy and creativity before you become bitchy, embittered and unpleasant. Reclaim your crown, your passion and your self. Revisit creative outlets that brought you joy in the past but don’t get lost in “the good old days”. They probably weren’t as golden as your memory paints them.”