Week 40 – Message of the Green Spirits (#TarotReading #HerbalTarot #52WeekProject)

  • What message do the green spirits have for me?  5 of Pentacles
  • How can I best manifest this in my life right now?  Knight of Cups Rx
  • What will help me strengthen my connection to the green spirits?  The Chariot Rx
5 of Pentacles, Knight of Cups Rx & The Chariot Rx – The Herbal Tarot

The 5 of Pentacles suggest that the green spirits are letting me know this time of solitude and privation is necessary in order for me to lose my connection to things and start to spend more time focusing on who I am and who I want to be.  The connection of mugwort with this card may be showing that this is part of a healing process for me.  I think for many years I felt impoverished even when that was not the reality.  The lack of financial resources in my childhood has left its influence.  Mugwort suggests that I needed to go through this bitter time as a way to realign my system and be open to a new reality.  It’s time to sage my life so that the old negative influences can be swept away and make room for a stronger connection to the reality of what is around me right now.  The affirmation associated with this card is “I see the richness in my spirit and acknowledge my inner values.”  This seems very appropriate to where I am in my life right now.

The Knight of Cups Rx reinforces a similar message I’ve been receiving for the past few months – the answers I seek lie within my own heart.  As I’ve mentioned several times over the past few years, Cups have always been uncharted Territory for me.  Much of that is due to a childhood in which showing emotions or vulnerability often led to mockery or bullying.  So in order to avoid this situation, I donned very sick armor and acted as though the petty insults and slings of others didn’t bother me.  Unfortunately, I started to believe it myself.  Which led to many years of claiming “I don’t care” or “that doesn’t bother me”.  In reality it often bothered me a lot.  I started to believe that I couldn’t be hurt emotionally but the result of that was that I often cut myself off from emotional connections with people.  The only person I felt completely safe with from an emotional perspective was my husband.  Now he’s gone and if I don’t want to live an isolated, and very lonely, existence, I need to learn how to be more emotionally vulnerable with others so that I can form healthy relationships.  The affirmation associated with this card is “I create opportunities to share my thoughts and feelings with others.”  That is a key area of potential growth for me.   I think this reversed Knight of Cups shows that it’s safe to put down my armor for a while.  To start to look for ways that I can create a sense of trust and emotional vulnerability, that will allow me to be open to new relationships.  I also need to remember that just because I have removed the armor that doesn’t mean I’m discarding it completely. If the need arises I can always put it back on to protect myself depending upon the circumstances. According to the companion book one of the spiritual properties associated with sarsaparilla is “purification of the emotions and the associated ability to express clearly are most intimate thoughts and feelings with others.”. Perhaps a nice cup of sarsaparilla tea will help me in this endeavor.

The Chariot Rx shows that I still need to work on how to harness the energies of my will and steering the course of my life going forward. The herb associated with this is Cyperus. According to the companion book, its spiritual properties include teaching the way of the middle path and the capacity to regulate energy. In Chinese medicine it is seen as an important herb for regulating chi or bodily energy. I think what can help strengthen my tenuous connection to the green spirits is to listen to what they’re telling me. I think strengthening my connection to the green spirits has already helped me realize that it can be sensible to retreat. I’ve learned here is a delicate balance in life and trying to go against it can sometimes boomerang in negative ways. The way that I am going to learn how to steer the course of my own life will involve finding the middle path, and applying these lessons in practical ways. The key is realizing what my place is in this ecosystem and being careful not to disrupt things simply because it might benefit me. One of the key phrases associated with this card in the companion book is “needing to contact the watery part in oneself”. So obviously this also reinforces the message of the Knight of Cups. I need to create more balance within myself by embracing and acknowledging my emotional side. Working with the green spirits, and in this case I think that means reacquainting myself with herbal medicines, is a good place to start.

Week 34 – Forgiveness (#TarotReading #ShiningTribeTarot #52WeekProject)

When I was younger, I would listen to people talk about how forgiveness was healing and that it was to the benefit of the forgiver more than the one forgiven, and I snorted in disbelief. Like many teens and young adults, I was arrogantly sure that my righteous anger was better than any potential healing forgiving someone might bring. Needless to say, as with so many things, maturity has taught me the folly of that belief.

Several years back I was working for a non-profit agency. There was a supervisor there with whom I had a challenged relationship. Overall we seem to get along fairly well however whenever there was a situation in which he was my supervisor I seem to irritate him. I think he was concerned that my loyalty was not to him. To be fair, in some ways that was true because I did have other supervisors, and in many cases my loyalty was to them. But he never understood that I could be loyal to more than one person if I felt that that loyalty was also extended to me. I never felt that with this person. He eventually became the executive director of this non-profit agency and within a few years of his ascension I was fired. Allegedly it was because there was no money to continue funding my position. However, considering that after I was gone someone else took the exact same job I would have to question that. Needless to say, I was devastated for years after. It was very traumatic, and I held on to anger and hostility towards this person for many, many years.

Recently I reconnected with two co-workers from that agency. During the course of our conversation this person was mentioned. I knew he had been fired from the non-profit where we were a few years after me. I have no idea why he was let go, but I will admit to experiencing a sense of schadenfreude when I heard the news. While talking with my friend, she mentioned that he had been out of work for a few years and was having a difficult time finding a new job. Based on things I’ve heard about this person, he is his own worst enemy and unfortunately has a tendency to undermine himself. However when my friend mentioned that he was interviewing for a new position I found myself genuinely wishing him well. That’s when I realized, I had finally let go of my anger and forgave him. The truth is I might have let go of the anger years ago but had no reason to consider it. Now that I was looking at it, I understood that I had finally let It go and I felt better, lighter. I finally understood what people meant when they said forgiveness helped the forgiver as much as, or more than, the forgiven. So I decided to pull some cards to explore how this situation influenced me.

  • How did holding on to the anger benefit me? The Chariot
  • How did releasing the anger and forgiving help me? 8 of Rivers
  • How can I embrace this lesson and allow this healing energy to benefit me in the future? 2 of Trees
The Chariot, 8 of Rivers & 2 of Trees from The Shining Tribe Tarot

The Chariot shows me that the anger allowed me to feel I had control over the situation or that I had some ability to influence it in some way. It allowed me to create a “sour grapes” type of scenario and convince myself that the agency didn’t deserve me anyway. Holding on to the anger helped me create a mask to hide behind and avoid dealing with the feelings of hurt and betrayal.

In the 8 of Rivers, Rachel Pollack writes “the 8 of Rivers shows the powerful new self who emerges after the liberating effective anger or simply telling the truth. The card says: if you feel like a new person trusts the feeling”. I cannot imagine a more perfect card appearing in response to this question! I do feel liberated and freer. I feel as though I was able to release some of those inner demons haunting me; or better said take off the mask of anger I was hiding behind to reveal a truer self. By releasing the anger, I opened myself up to connecting to my emotions on a deeper level.

Rachel writes “The trees form a gate that opens to new experience. The image suggests a gateway, a moment in our lives when we feel opportunities open before us. Opening to a higher level of awareness”. I can embrace this lesson by seeing it as the opportunity that it is; embracing its potential for transformation. In Tarot, the twos often represent a partnership. In this instance, I think the 2 of Trees is showing me that what I need to partner my emotional and spiritual side so that I can embrace the opportunities this experience is presenting to me.

This experience has helped me shed the angry, emotionally immature part of myself, and will allow me to move forward with a less reactive, childish mindset. It also helped me realize that holding on to that anger was giving that person power over my life, something to which they have never been entitled. Was it a devastating experience? Yes. Was it a learning experience? Also, yes. Did it break me? No, it made me stronger. Holding on to the resentment and anger I felt towards this person created a narrative of victimhood, and I refuse to be a victim. Realizing that I am able to, and have, released it allows me to change that narrative.

Week 33 – Message of the Speaker of Stones (#TarotReading #ShiningTribeTarot #52WeekProject)

I couldn’t think of what I wanted to focus on in my reading this week so I decided to pull a card from The Shining Tribe Tarot and create some questions based on the energies of the card. I drew the Speaker of Stones Rx, and developed these questions.

Speaker of Stones – The Shining Tribe Tarot
  • How can I unburden myself of some of the obligations & responsibilities I now carry?  The Chariot Rx
  • What blocks me from manifesting the reality I desire?  2 of Trees Rx
  • What advice can the Speaker of Stones offer?  The Sun Rx
The Chariot Rx, 2 of Trees Rx, and The Sun Rx – The Shining Tribe Tarot

The way I can unburden myself, according to The Chariot Rx, is to start taking charge of the direction my life is taking; advocate for myself. This card reminds me that, despite the protestations otherwise, the people involved in finding placement for my brother-in-law do not have my best interests at heart. Once again, to be fair to them, that’s not their job. So I need to take a stand, pick up the reins, and make sure that I’m moving my life in the direction that I want. If I keep waiting for them to make the necessary changes, I’m going to be stuck in stasis for a long time.

The 2 of Trees Rx reminds me of previous messages I’ve received indicating that I need to start building a team to help me. I need to find sympathetic collaborators to aid me in resolving this current situation. That’s the only way I will be able to manifest the future and reality I desire.

The Speaker of Stones reminds me, once again, that I need to change things if I want to have my day in The Sun. I have all the potential necessary to be able to shine, and have opportunities for success and achievement. I can’t manifest them right now because my reality is so limited and I’m still buried under my obligations. I feel rather like a seed that’s too far beneath the Earth, and can’t feel the sun’s rays. The only way I can change that is to start digging myself out from under it.

Overall, I think this reading shows that the possibilities are there, the potential exists, for me to take the steps necessary to release my burdens. However in order to do this I need to take action and not wait for things to happen on their own timetable. The truth of the matter is no one is going to save me from this but me.

Week 25 – How can I live my life more instinctively and joyously? (TarotReading #FörhäxaTarot #52WeekProject)

On Twitter today I noticed a tweet by @JeremyWingert79 noting that he believes unprocessed trauma as a result of covid is preventing many of us from living as instinctively and joyously as we once did. https://twitter.com/JeremyWingert79/status/1619354903457202176?t=waJl8O7-L5h5fDxNRGCPHQ&s=19. This made me wonder about how I manifesting this in my own life. So, of course, I did what I always do when I need to get inside my own head, I picked up my Tarot cards. I asked “How can I live more instinctively and joyously?” These are the three cards I pulled.

Knight of Air, The World Rx + The Chariot – Förhäxa Tarot

I have to say I am so glad I purchased this deck. The images are absolutely stunning and the messages I get just seem so clear to me. The Knight of Air shows me I need to let my mind soar; to take this opportunity, while I am physically restrained, to explore new ideas or dig deeper into ideas that already intrigue me. Even if my body is forced to stay in one location right now, my mind can still soar free and fly high like that bird. Maybe one of the things I can learn more about is astral travel and lucid dreaming. I’ve long been interested in both topics but allow myself to become distracted by other things going on. Maybe now is the opportunity to study them further.

The World Rx shows me that I can’t keep focusing on what’s going on outside in the larger world. It’s not that I’m not concerned about current affairs and social situations, however I am not currently in a position where I can do much about it. Focusing too much of my energy on those areas stresses me out much more than I need right now. This does nothing for my physical or mental health. Right now my world needs to be smaller and more personal.

Ah, The Chariot. Once again a bird is soaring into the sky. This time it’s a black bird, perhaps a crow, with a winged female astride. I think this is reinforcing the message of the Knight of Air. This is time for me to take control of my journey, to trust that things are going in the right direction but be more conscious and pay more attention to the journey. It reaffirms that this may be my chance to explore uncharted territory or re-familiarize myself with territory I haven’t visited in some time.

So an answer to my initial question about living more instinctively and joyously, the cards suggest that instead of focusing on where I’m limited, I focus on the areas where nothing can restrict me but myself. Instead of focusing on what I can’t do, I need to consider what I can and take steps to accomplish something in those areas. I have always found joy in learning new things and nothing can stop me from doing that right now except myself. One benefit in a post-COVID world is how many resources are now available online. It’s time I started foraging to discover how that can benefit me.

Week 7 Autumn Equinox Spread (#TarotReading #LePsychoTarot #52WeekProject)

I found this spread on Litha Rose’s website and thought it would be a great way to celebrate the Sabbat!

1. What is my harvest? (Celebrate this!)  Temperance Rx –  Temperance Rx shows that my harvest is forging the things I want to do and the things I must do into a balanced and cohesive whole.  This is still a work in progress for me but I am very happy with the success I’ve had so far.  Temperance is always a challenge for me because it speaks of moderation and being temperate, neither of which are innate to my nature.

2. How can I best spend this autumn season?  8 of Cups Rx –  Seeing this card made me hear the song Let It Go.  To me, it’s about putting the mourning behind me; about focusing on what I want to bring into my life going forward, not what I have to leave behind. That doesn’t mean I won’t always miss my husband, simply that I won’t lose myself in the grief.

3. How can I best close off this year?  The Chariot – I can best close off this year by taking the reins of my own life. It’s been a challenge since my husband passed away, taking over the responsibility for things that I always let him handle. It’s made me passive in certain aspects of my own life. I think the Chariot is showing that it’s time to pick those reins up again and start becoming more focused about where I want to steer my course.

4. How can I find more balance in my life?   4 of Coins – Unlike the usual imagery for this card, this 4 of Coins seems more about conserving one’s physical essence and tending to ones health. Or maybe that’s what I’m seeing because that is what would be extremely appropriate for me right now. I’ve been so focused on taking care of others for the past few years that I have lost sight of my own health. This card points out that I need to be more balanced in this respect and start to put my own physical concerns and health needs on a par with those of others.

5. What can I find if I descend in the dark and look inward?  2 of Cups Rx – I will find true emotional balance. I will find a way to merge and blend the light and dark halves of my spirit and heart. If there is one thing I’ve learned since my husband died, it’s that a relationship with someone else requires compromise, which forces us to downplay or give up pieces of who we are. Whether we want to acknowledge it or not, in a truly beneficial, loving relationship, both parties change certain aspects of their personality in order to maintain a healthy relationship. Perhaps we drop interest in certain things because our partner doesn’t enjoy them. Or we don’t want to force participation in an activity they won’t enjoy. One of the most interesting aspects I’m finding about widowhood is that I don’t have to compromise with anyone anymore. I can do what I want, when I want. That is both amazingly freeing and absolutely terrifying! And I think it pertains to this card because what it’s showing is that right now is that descending into darkness will help me strengthen and further explore my relationship with myself.

Working through my loss (#TarotReading #PearlsofWisdomTarot)

The one year anniversary of my husband’s death is next week. On one hand, I can’t believe it’s been a year. On the other, hand it feels like he’s been gone far longer than that. My husband and I were together for 38 years when he died and it was very challenging learning how to deal with things on my own. I didn’t realize how many things he took care of for the both of us. I’m sure it would have been the same situation if I had died and he lived because we tended to divide up our responsibilities that way. There’s something both terrifying and reassuring about the fact that I’m able to handle a lot of this without John even if I wish I didn’t have to.

April 1, 1986 is the day John and I went down to City Hall in New York and applied for our marriage license. 36 years ago – seems like such a long time ago and yet I remember it like it was yesterday. In honor of this anniversary I pulled two cards from my Tarot deck while asking John for a message. This was his response

John’s message using Pearls of Wisdom Tarot

Seeing these cards I burst into tears because they are truly both such John energies, especially as they pertained to the way he cared for in about me. The Chariot suits John for many reasons: it’s his birth card; he was a car guy who loved tinkering with his vehicles; and he refused to let anyone else tell him what to do. He steered the course of his life, for better and worse. With this card John is reminding me that I need to be sure to take up the reins and guide my life going forward. I can certainly seeks advice and guidance from others, but I’m the charioteer now.

The 9 of Pentacles is John’s way of reminding me he always wanted to be sure I would be in a good financial place if anything happened to him. He has definitely done this. In fact, he could have retired but he continued to work. He wanted to be sure there would be enough in his pension to take care of me if something happened to him. Ironically that is what happened. He is visually showing me that he wants me to enjoy what I have and the time I have left. He wants me to be happy and healthy and take care of myself. I think the best way to honor John’s memory is to do that

Midsummer’s Dream Spread (#TarotReading #StolenChildTarot

I did this reading on the Solstice but, being the champion procrastinator that I am, I’m just getting around to posting it now. This spread is from Christine Jette’s book Tarot for All Seasons, which is filled with spreads for each Sabbat as well as the lunar cycles.

Position 1 – What will set your spirit free? – 3 of Zephyrs Rx
I see this card as a reminder that sometimes we can hold on to past betrayals or painful experiences and this holds our Spirit back. I just heard it quote attributed to Stephen King that “ghosts are real and they live inside us”. I think to some degree that’s what this card represents – the ghosts that live inside us holding us back because we can’t move forward until we’ve laid those goes to rest. So in order to set our spirits free we need to release those ghosts and the lingering memories of the pain they might have caused so that we can move forward.

Position 2: Future Trends of Freedom and Liberation. Indicates possible scenarios based on influences at this time. Do you obtain your heart’s desire or are you setting up the wrong life? – 7 of Zephyrs Rx
The image on this card shows a cuckoo laying its eggs in another bird’s nest. Considering it’s reversed, I think it’s a reminder that trying to obtain your heart’s desire at the expense of others will probably bring more harm than good. For example if you cast a love spell how could you ever be sure whether any resulting relationship is based on genuine love and attraction? Or if you pursued advancement in your career by detracting others efforts then is your success deserved? I suppose these are questions we can only answer for ourselves but it does raise interesting concepts to ponder.

Position 3: The Need for Protection. Shows your vulnerabilities or where you might block your heart’s desire. – High Priestess Rx
This High Priestess shows a Chimera – a legendary creature composed of parts from different animals. The word can also refer to an illusion or fabrication of the mind. The reverse nature of the card in this position suggests that we are vulnerable and blocking our hearts desire because we don’t have the ability to imagine anymore; to see ourselves making our dreams come true. Sometimes the only way to create magic in our lives is to believe that we have the ability to create magic. Without a magical belief in our own abilities, we undermine ourselves.

Position 4: Future Trends of the Need for Protection. Are you on the path to fulfilling your heart’s desire, or do you need to go in another direction? – Ace of Zephyrs
I think this Ace of Zephyrs shows us that we have the ability to achieve our hearts desire but we have to allow ourselves to see things clearly and align our disparate mindsets. In other words, I think this is showing we need to combine the magical thinking suggested by The High Priestess with a certain amount of reality and clearsightedness. The only way we can achieve our dreams, fulfill our heart’s desire is by both believing in ourselves and having a clear understanding of our capabilities and our skills. It’s showing us that we can always start anew, begin over again and change the path, to help guide us to our desired goal. All we have to do is change our mindset and believe in ourselves.

Position 5: Paying Attention to Intuition. Either describes how to develop the inner voice of the soul, or what may be blocking its development – Strength
The best way for us to develop our inner voice of our soul is not to hide from ourselves and to be willing to actually make the attempt. Sometimes we can act like we’re tough and capable and strong enough to handle what life throws at us on the outside, but on the inside we’re the child hiding beneath the bison’s protective body. I think what Strength reminds us is that we need to have the inner fortitude to keep trying even when we fail the first few times. We need to be willing to pick ourselves up and keep working at it. After all, practice makes perfect and very few of us are perfect at something on our first attempt. At the same time we shouldn’t be hard on ourselves because we weren’t successful on our first attempt. We need to be gentle with ourselves; nurturing and protecting our fragile inner spirit.

Position 6: Future Trends in Psychic Development. Given the influences of the cards at this time, what is a probable outcome to your psychic development? – The Chariot
I think the energy of The Chariot and the image on this card combine to remind us that our psychic development, or indeed our ability to achieve any goal, is a combination of being willing to take the opportunities offered to us as well as understanding that sometimes slow and steady wins the race. No matter how much we might wish it were different, life provides few fairy godmothers as well as rare instances of immediate success. The most successful people we know spend years honing their craft. I think this Chariot is reminding us that it’s equally appropriate when dealing with psychic development. Practice makes perfect and the longer we practice the better we will be.

Although the reading specifically addresses psychic development and achieving one’s heart’s desire I believe these cards can be applicable to any endeavor one pursues in life. We can’t let the ghosts of past failures paralyze us and hold us back. We need to be careful not to claim other people successes as our own. At the same time if we don’t believe in ourselves no one else will either. We also need to continually support and nourish our inner spark; treating it gently and with encouragement, not harsh criticism.

The best way to achieve our goals is to keep trying, be persistent even if we fail at first. We also need a clear understanding of our own skills and abilities. After all no matter how hard one might wish for it, if you’re not well coordinated and athletic the odds are you will never be a successful professional basketball player. However that doesn’t mean you can enjoy the experience of playing the sport just for the joy of it.

#ChattingwithTarot – The Hanged Man Rx, The Chariot + 8 of Oysters Rx (#Wonderland #Tarot)

Today while sharing a cuppa tea with my #ancestors. I asked for some advice & guidance. This was their reply:

I heard “You’re wasting time, hoping for the perfect opportunity. Stop futzing around and move forward. Trust that the direction in which you’re moving is the way you’re meant to go. You’ve done a lot of hard work; sown a lot of seeds; honed your skills. Now it’s time to real the benefits and embrace your achievements.”

#TarotDaily – The Moon Rx + The Warrior Woman Rx (#Sacred Bridges)

TarotHunter’s Salt Rounds:

  • You can’t sleep through your current situation anymore. It’s not a dream or an illusion, it’s a nightmare. It’s time to take up the reins and move in a more focused direction. Passive resistance is making things worse.
  • The dream has not turned out as you’d hoped. You believed positive changes could result but it hasn’t quite turned out that way. You hoped you could put down your weapons and relax because the changes would make things better. Apparently that was a mistake. Don’t let it make you a victim.
  • There are times when you can relax control and let autopilot take you where you need to go; this in not one of those times. You intuition, your inner wisdom is telling you things are wrong but you haven’t listened. You need to face the reality of the current situation and take back control of the vehicle before you’re run off the road altogether.

#TarotDaily – Chariot Rx + Devil (Guardian)

TarotHunter’s Salt Rounds:

  • You can move forward in you journey until you’re sure the oath is clear. Right now you’re letting bad choices hold you back.
  • You may believe you can stop your addictive behaviors at any time but your current direction (or lack thereof) suggests otherwise. You can’t steer your course or even trust that you’re moving in the right direction if you can’t even tell you’re not moving.
  • Complaining that you can’t get anywhere in your life when you can’t see the forest for the trees is counterproductive. You can only move out of the shadows when you finally face them and admit they exist. It’s difficult to change things when you don’t admit there is a problem.