Today I enjoyed a cuppa Harney & Sons Malachi McCormick blend while chatting with my ancestors. We had quite the chat.
Their message, “Nitwit! You’re missing the point! Instead of looking at the whole picture you’re focusing on details. Open your eyes, look inside your heart. What you seek can’t be found without but only within.”. This was followed by a metaphorical smack upside the head.
So, clearly, I was misinterpreting my ancestors’ message as far as the 10 of Pentacles is concerned because it kept coming up. So I did something I rarely do, looked in the companion book. The first sentence was “Honor the endowment of your roots.” D’oh! 🤦 The author then goes on to discuss how we need to connect with our roots so that we can then move forward and express that energy in our lives; ground ourselves so we can soar.
That makes do much sense because one of the motivating factors that influenced my taking on a caregiver role for both my mother-in-law and brother-in-law is that’s how my mother’s family did it. That’s what I saw growing up. In her later years, my great-grandmother suffered from some type of dementia and I watched my mother’s aunts and uncles rally round and take care of her so she could stay at home. My great-grandmother wasn’t relegated to the sidelines either. Despite her inability to fully comprehend what was going on, she sat at the dinner table with us, she was there when we sang Happy Birthday, she was there for holiday celebrations. So my experience growing up was that when family members were in bad shape those that could picked up the slack. That is how I continue to live my life.
My ancestors are reminding me that this is my inheritance but it doesn’t have to be my jail cell. I can still find ways to enjoy my life; find things that bring me joy and make my spirit soar. Right now, I’m restricted to things that I can do within the house and with limited flexibility and freedom but that doesn’t mean I can’t try. The key is looking within myself and changing my perceptions. I understand that focusing on the negative just enhances it, but sometimes I forget. So, what I need to do is focus on the positive; retrain myself to fully embrace the little things in my life that make me happy. I can also be a little more patient with myself when I lose sight of this.
So, my ancestors were unexpectedly charitable today. Instead of the usual smack upside the head (in a loving, concerned manner of course), I got a bit of an “attagirl”. They’re reminding me that I’ve learned a lot over the years. In fact, I’ve learned enough that I could teach certain things if I chose to do so. I just need to maintain confidence in myself; keep my expertise, enthusiasm, and ability to engage others in the forefront. I also need to make sure I enjoy what I’m doing. At the end of the day what I know and how I convey that is only beneficial if I enjoy doing it. Otherwise, it becomes just one more chore over the course of my life.
Lately, I have been feeling rather uninspired and lackluster. Usually, I would write this off as a touch of post Readers’ Studio deflation. After spending so many days with friends and fellow Tarot enthusiasts, returning to the real world causes some culture shock. This year, after the interesting Peter Pan reading we did during George Khoury’s workshop, it feels a bit worse. Perhaps this is because I focused on things I enjoyed as a child, and things I still enjoy as an adult, but which I’ve been ignoring. This was further supported by reading one of SARK’s daily inspirations from her Living Juicy book which reinforced the benefits of play. So I figured I would ask my tried and true tool, the Tarot how I can feel juicier.
What will help me feel juicier, more fun? Knight of Cups
What challenges or supports me? Ace of Pentacles Rx
Of course! Why am I not entirely surprised by this response? Because I am once again asking the Tarot something for which I really already know the answer. I suppose I needed the positive reinforcement. I need to find my heart’s desire and actually do it instead of being a lazy lump.
Sometimes I can get so caught up in adding more stuff to my collections, that I forget to actually use them. I have coloring books, colored pencils, markers, rubber stamps, different types of paper and yet instead of playing with them, I keep scouring online sources for additional materials. My hoarding tendencies are kicking into overdrive. I think this reading is the Universe reminding me that the joy comes from actually playing with my supplies, not merely adding more stuff to the cache.
Is there an area in your life in which you are hesitant to stand out? Why?
If course there is! Don’t we all have an area in which we’re hesitant to stand out? No? Okay, maybe it’s just me.
Looking at these cards gave me a chuckle. The first thought that streaked across my mind is that I’m reluctant to share my happy marriage with other people (which wasn’t what I expected). It’s not that I’m afraid people will get jealous, although that certainly part of it, it’s that I’m very protective and defensive of certain elements of my private life. Hence the appearance of the 7 of Wands.
Quite frankly, I am very lucky in the man that I married. He encourages my weirdness, celebrates my intelligence and has no problem poking fun at me when my ego gets too big for itself. He is also fiercely proud of the fact that I don’t take crap from anybody. I honestly think I may have found the perfect husband for me.
At the same time, he does not ever want to be shared online in any way, shape, or form. he has been known to threaten friends and relatives with death if they post photos of him on Facebook. It’s also one of the reasons I rarely mention him by name in any of my posts.
Well, now I’ve done what I have always been hesitant to do. I guess it wasn’t as hard as I feared.
So today I pondered where to focus my attention; my big, juicy brain (sorry, been watching zombie flicks with the hubby). This is the answer I received. Hmph, interesting that these cards are the same suits I drew yesterday. So I’d have to say I still need to focus on exploring and determining what brings me joy and how to express it and use it to fuel my creative energies.
I need to relearn the contours of my own heart – not always an easy task. I have a tendency of doing first and letting introspection fall by the wayside. I often joke that I’m as deep as a babbling brook, but that’s bullshit. It’s more accurate to say although I can be as deep as a babbling brook (I truly am a very WYSIWYG kinda gal), I also have hidden, unplumbed depths. The reversed Queen of Cups is telling me it’s time for some deep diving.
I’ve been giving a lot of thought to making changes in my life – to my blog, my online handle and my “career”. I’ll probably write a longer post about that in the coming days but this reading consolidates what I suspected. It’s time to get back to who I really am and what I really enjoy.
I can’t disconnect my creative energies from my heart. It’s difficult for me to try to earn money doing something I love. I realize that might sound strange but I work at things I do well not necessarily things about which I’m passionate. My salary supported my passions, my passions didn’t help me earn money. When I “have” to do something I love it becomes a chore and sucks the joy out of it.
If you were suddenly gifted/won all the money you could ever need would it make you truly happy?
Weighing out good intentions and beneficence like coins on a scale is unlikely to bring emotional satisfaction.
Perhaps to find true happiness and emotional satisfaction we need to be as generous with ourselves as we are with our money. Donating cash is always beneficial, but to volunteer one’s time and energy is truly giving.