There’s a lot of battered and broken going on here; desolation and devastation, but at the core hope remains. I think my ancestors are reminding me that no matter how bad things get, how destructive they seem, hope remains.
Maybe there are important lessons that must be learned in the brokenness and devastation. What will be built after the rubble is cleared away will be better, stronger and healthier. There are always people willing to fight the good fight and I can choose to be a fighter or become part of the rubble.
My ancestors seem to be reminding me that in my core I’m an optimist. Despite how ugly and unpleasant things may get, I ultimately believe in the human spirit. I believe people are good. The trick is to remind them of that fact.
Today, over a cuppa @HarneyTea Elyse Blend, I had a chat with my ancestors asking for insight and guidance. Here are their words of wisdom:
“Stop talking through your hat and plodding around in circles. No matter how hard you try, you can’t keep things in stasis. Life is all about change and you can’t prevent it, only control how it impacts your life. So listen to your heart, plot a course that allows you to feel comfortable and grounded, and get moving!”
What is beginning to wither in your life that deserves more of your attention?
This I interesting because I think what’s withering in my life is the influence of the inner demons and self-doubt that have often plagued and haunted me. Even though I still pay lip-service to not being confident and valuing my self, I think the reality is that I am confident I just didn’t realize it or embrace it. It deserves more of my attention because I have to fully incorporate this into my self perception and how I interact with the outer world. I have a chance to make some interesting changes and transform the rest of my life but first I have to accept that those inner demons don’t have power over me anymore.
The reversed Knight of Pentacles suggests that I don’t need should be so defensive; trying to insulate myself with protective layers. It doesn’t mean I have to rush to make these changes but I can take my time and cut through that protection like peeling an onion. This is an opportunity to get back to the core of who I am and who I want to be.
How are you feeling trapped? How did you get to this point? What is your next step?
I trapped myself into believing I would always be a student, never confident enough to practice or teach. Instead, I convince myself I still have more to learn. I don’t have faith in my skills and knowledge, too afraid to put myself out there.
I don’t value or nurture my own intellect. Instead I pretend I have nothing new to offer. Instead of trying to share my unique insights and thoughts and communicating them to interested parties, I downplay it; denigrate it; treat it as if it’s nothing special.
My next step is to change these things. To paraphrase line from Mad Max:. Beyond Thunderdome, I need to break a deal and spin the wheel. I need to break free from this mindset that undermines my confidence and prevents me from recognizing my gifts. I need to create magick in my life; break the curse under which I’ve placed myself. No one else can do it for me.
How are you stuck? What can you do to free yourself?
I’m stuck because I’m afraid to trust my intuition, my instincts; fearful of going through that doorway and facing who I am and who I am meant to be. It’s as though I know there is knowledge and wisdom available for me to use on the other side of that door but I’m reluctant to explore it.
Change. The only thing that can free me is change. Rather than being a passive participant in my own life, waiting for Fate to determine what happens next, I need to grab that damned wheel and spin it. I need to be a true witch and be the change I want to see in my life. Whatever I want to become next, will be determined by my actions now. Hesitating serves no purpose; faintheartedness won’t produce the future I desire. So I need to decide what my destination will be and plot the route to get me there.
What I should be asking is what new opportunities await out there for me; how should I begin again? I do have faith in my abilities to accomplish things once I fully commit to them. In odd ways, I’m rather fearless (I may have self-esteem issues but as long as I don’t focus on them much, I can hold them at bay).
The reversed 5 of Cups reminds me that I’ve finish mourning what has been left behind. Yes, I’m sorry that my career ended the way it did, but there were aspects of it that were beyond my control so continuing to cry and gnash my teeth about it serves no useful purpose. Instead of obsessing about what has been lost, I need to focus on what I can still explore, still explore and discover about myself.
How aware you of all of your different selves? How can you best honor and/or integrate them into your life?
I’m very aware of my different selves. I would say I’m the master of them but that would be quite an overstatement. I can say that I’m comfortably familiar with the ones I know and well aware there may be a few more waiting to be introduced. I’d hate to think that I am now all that I will ever be.
As for integrating them into my life, well, clearly I need to dance to the beat of my own drummer. I have to listen to the music that lives in my heart, creating moves that blend my current selves with any potential future selves. I need to learn to incorporate that which is and that which is becoming. Easy to say, perhaps not so easy to do but I look forward to the challenge.