Today while sharing a cuppa tea with my #ancestors. I asked for some advice & guidance. This was their reply:
I heard “You’re wasting time, hoping for the perfect opportunity. Stop futzing around and move forward. Trust that the direction in which you’re moving is the way you’re meant to go. You’ve done a lot of hard work; sown a lot of seeds; honed your skills. Now it’s time to real the benefits and embrace your achievements.”
QotD: How can I feel more confident and comfortable in my own skin? The Magician
What will challenge or support me in this? 8 if Pentacles Rx
I was watching a YouTube clip of the amazing Kelly Bishop performing “At the Ballet” from A Chorus Line. Watching her burlesque before the singing struck a chord with me. Sheila (Bishop’s character) is brash, ballsy and clearly terrified. She projects a confident, almost arrogant persona which is soon revealed to be a costume; an act. As I watched her I was struck by the thought that’s how I appear to people. I may try to portray myself as cocky and confident with a “don’t give a shit” attitude but the truth is I’m far from that.
I learned to don that persona as an adolescent as a way to protect myself from the teasing and petty cruelties of other children. I won’t say that I was bullied but kids are kids and I was different. I was not good at fitting in simply because it didn’t occur to me. The end result was that I was often teased and mocked which made me defensive and aggressive. Over time I learned to laugh at myself but deep down I’m still that confused child who doesn’t understand how to fit in and why I’m different. So I burlesque; I create a stage persona and don her as needed.
At Readers Studio I’m considered a charter member of the “bad girls’ table” (a term I hate because it implies we’re misbehaving children when in reality we’re simply doing our own thing. I prefer the “wild women’s table but what can you do?). I can often feel myself slip into performance mode when interacting with people I don’t know. I’m uncomfortable in large groups so the protective coating feels necessary. Unfortunately, I also slip into character when I’m with friends. I think sometimes it’s become second nature to play the role. I’ve gotten better at realizing it but it’s still a work in progress. So I decided to ask the Tarot for some tips on working through this.
I had to smile when I saw these two cards appear. The message was at once simple and deep. The only way I will feel more confident and comfortable in my own skin is if I will it to be so. I am the Magician of my own reality; creator of my own magic. The only thing blocking me is me. All the training, experience and hard work I’ve invested in myself in the past will support me now. I simply have to remember the lessons I’ve learned and not let the inner demons of self-doubt sidetrack me. I’m not a child anymore. All that past petty schoolyard cruelty can’t hurt me anymore unless I allow it.
How might self-discipline give you more freedom? What would be a way for you develop that discipline?
Self-discipline would enable me to make more informed, practical decisions based in what I’ve achieved so far and what I plan to achieve in the coming years. I have a rather “shoot from the hip” approach to most matters. As a rule, this has worked just fine for me so I feel little incentive to change. This card suggests that planning things in advance and periodically taking stock might help me use my time and energy more effectively as well as recognizing how far I’ve come.
One technique that might help me in being more open to this approach is celebrating my victories when they occur. As much as I don’t take stock, I’m also not good at appreciating or valuing what I’m good at doing. I tend to take a dismissive approach to my own achievements. I’m not sure whether this is because I felt that highlighting my achievements would alienate me from other people or because I have self-esteem issues. What’s most likely is it is a combination of both. Having said that, maybe it’s time to embrace, honor, and celebrate my achievements. This certainly wood go a long way towards keeping me on track and being self-disciplined.
TarotHunter’s Silver Bullets:
- Happiness, joy and emotional satisfaction are amazing but not static. Remember that clear communication is essential to maintaining this state.
- Just because thing are good right now doesn’t mean you should ignore warning signs you receive. The assumption that things will always stay the way they are right this minute is a fallacy.
- Be cautious and careful about what goes on behind your back. Many smart people have been caught off guard because they left their flank unprotected. Think of the times we’ve seen people brought low right after their greatest triumph, their happiest moment. Don’t take your happiness and emotional satisfaction for granted.
TarotHunter’s Salt Rounds:
- You’re holding on too tightly; trying to retain things that are best let go. Instead of clinging desperately to what should be released, celebrate how much you loved and enjoyed it when it was yours. Share memories with friends and loved ones; focus on the happiness it brought.
- You’re functioning like the boy with his finger in the dyke trying to stave off the inevitable flood. It’s ultimately pointless and wasted effort. Remember that life is mutable and it’s more fun to focus your energies on celebrating the changes rather than stubbornly trying to prevent them.
- Take a rest, give yourself a break. You’ve put a lot of time and effort into manifesting something and now it’s in the past. Instead of fixating on how you could have done things differently, focus on enjoying it’s end. Have a drink or minor celebration in its honor.
TarotHunter’s Salt Rounds:
- Look deep within yourself, in those dark places you prefer to avoid, and ask what is motivating your behavior right now? What is driving you on your current path?
- You spend a lot of time judging yourself and others. Why? What purpose does it serve? Perhaps the only thing you’re accomplishing by these actions is to smother your creative drive. Maybe it’s time to focus less on judging and more on creating & doing.
- You’ve let the negative judgments of others douse your creativity, your passion, your drive. Instead of listening to those critics – both inner and outer, refocus on what excites you, inspires you and ignites your creative juices.
TarotHunter’s Silver Bullets:
- You’re haunted by past experiences; looking behind you and harshly judging yourself. Remember, despite the axiom, hind sight in not truly 20/20. When we revisit our past we often do so through the lens of our current narrative, which can alter our recollections.
- You are not valuing your accomplishments the way you should. Instead of appreciating them, you are lessening their weight; lightening how important they were. If you’re going to judge what you’ve achieved then do so with clear sight and logical mind. Don’t let self-doubt or the criticisms of others undermine you.
TarotHunter’s Salt Rounds:
- Knowledge is power and you are willing to use untraditional methods of gaining the knowledge you need. However, this has not always given you the sense of accomplishment and triumph you desire.
- Your efforts to manifest your will and channel your energies into successful endeavors may not translate into external accolades. However, you’re okay with that. You don’t do it for recognition from others, you do it for personal satisfaction.
- You enjoy finding new endeavors and techniques that make you feel successful. Your self-confidence and self-worth are fed from within and don’t need reinforcement from others. This helps you find the way to make will into reality. Don’t let possible disbelief or doubts by others undermine this.
Blue Rose Tarot
Created by Paula Gibby
Published by Soul Guidance
The Book says: Traditional meanings – Principle of unity in spirit; experiencing a time of rekindled enthusiasm. Revitalizing something that has previously existed in your life. Joy, happiness and a great sense of the beauty of life. Clarity. Signifies the transit from the manifest light of this world to the light of the world to come. Law of radiance. Abundant joy.
TarotBroad’s Buzz: The young girl holding the pineapple gives a sense of the joy of youth and new possibilities. She holds the faceted pineapple and each facet can serve as a reminder of the potential and possibilities. She reminds us that each of us possess a crystal pineapple – with hundreds of possible opportunities to sparkle and shine. Maybe she is offering us a chance to explore new possibilities and expand our wings. The rainbows and sun shining overhead give a sense of joy, well-being and happiness.
The overwhelming message from this card is one of celebration and exuberance; a chance for a new start and new pathways to explore. But is also shows that once the sun has shone on our lives, there is no more room for self-deception and hiding from the truth. The sun shines its light into all corners of our lives, waking up whatever shadows may have survived our journey through the lunar landscape. And perhaps we first need to come to grips with our deep, intuitive and inner nature before we will be ready to enter the brilliance of the solar world. It will burn away whatever we need to drop by the wayside and release in order to continue our journey. Just as the sun can wither crops if it shines too brightly and too long, so it can wither things which we no longer need or use. This can be beneficial or negative, depending upon focus and needs. So, as Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm sang on the Flintstones, “open up your heart and let the sun shine in“.
Mansions of the Moon Tarot
The LWB says: The Sun represents the dynamic, vital energy of the true self. The symbolism of this energy is the inner child – that embodies innocence, enthusiasm, and joy.
TarotBroad’s Buzz: This card radiates energy and joy, exuberance and growth. The sense of joy the emanates from the horse and the flowers is almost palpable. This card reminds me of the song Here Comes the Sun, especially the line “it seems the ice is slowly melting. Little darling it seems like years since it’s been here” Perhaps the figures are celebrating the return of the sun after being held in the darkness of the lunar landscape. We have survived facing our inner shadow and grown more comfortable and confident with our intuitional nature. And now is our opportunity to celebrate this new sense of wholeness and integration.
Then again the sun can sometimes represents the face we show to the world – the mask we put on when dealing with others. If the moon is our inner selves the sun is our outer selves. In this card our outer self is having a marvelous time just celebrating being alive. We are like flowers reaching for the warming, nourishing rays of the sun. It also a reminder that after the darkness comes the light; after night comes the day. So no matter how dark or frightening our lunar experience may have we know a new day is dawning and we will have a chance to start over again. Of course sometimes the rays of the sun can be harsh too – revealing things we might prefer to remain hidden. But allowing things to remain in the darkness may prevent us from learning and growing. To me The Sun is a card of growth, radiance, new beginnings, illumination and joy.