Tag Archives: Fears

Week 36 – The Will-Fate-Fortune-Destiny Spread by Mary K. Greer (#TarotReading #ShiningTribeTarot #52WeekProject)

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The Will-Fate-Fortune-Destiny Spread by Mary K. Greer from 101 Tarot Spreads by 20 Modern Tarot Masters Vol 1 by Sheilaa Hite
  • My Current Will – The Lovers Rx
  • My Current Fate – 2 of Trees
  • My Current Fortune – 8 of Birds Rx
  • My Current Destiny – 5 of Stones
Shining Tribe Tarot

My current will, as represented by The Lovers Rx, is to not focus my energies on a relationship with anyone else.  I’ve already had a relationship with someone who was perfect for me and I lost him.  Part of the process of learning to live without him is realizing that by the very nature of our relationship I changed for him and he changed for me.  There are things I might have explored or pads I would have taken except I knew he had no interest in them.  It seemed unfair to try to subject him to participate in activities he wouldn’t enjoy.  He was always kind enough to extend that same courtesy to me.  I think what the lovers reversed to showing is that right now my conscious intent is to learn to love myself and to reconnect with the Divine side of my own nature.  Isn’t there a saying that before you can love someone else you need to learn to love yourself.  I think this car is showing that my focus right now is on learning to love myself more.

The 2 of Trees suggests that my current fate is to continue exploring my creative energies and outlets.  I think it will also be beneficial to find new people that can help me break through to the next level with regard to creativity.  People who can help me learn and expand my knowledge base.  Once again this is a message that has come up for me several times in the past few months so I think it’s reinforcing and reaffirming that this is the path I need to explore moving forward.

According to Rachel’s companion book, the 8 of Birds Rx can indicate the need to find a voice and unlock the doors in the self; a process of recovery and the release of blocks to creativity.  I think the appearance of this card reinforces the idea that happenstance is exactly how I’ve been processing things lately.  I have often found that synchronicity regularly applies in my life.  I discover new creative outlets or find a book I’m supposed to read exactly when I will be open, and ready, to utilize it.  I connect with specific people who can help me with a certain area in my life at just the right moment.  The very fact that I’ve been getting messages from my Tarot readings that help me with this process shows how this energy plays out in my life.

I’m headed to face my inner demons.  These ghosts like figures on the 5 of Stones strike me as scary until one is able to face them and receive their message.  Rachel describes this as a card of internal healing, and finding one’s personal values; recognizing your own power.  All of this has been part of my journey since losing my husband.  At the center of it is facing my own fears about being alone, and having to deal with things by myself.  At the same time, it also indicates that this is an opportunity for me to relearn what brings me joy outside of my relationship with my husband.  I realized in the last couple of months that our relationship was very much a closed unit.  We were very happy together but we also didn’t need anybody else.  Now I have to be open to new relationships because I’m learning that there is truth to the saying that no one is an island. This is especially true as it pertains to the situation with my brother-in-law. I’ve recently really realized that my own refusal to ask for help has resulted in me bearing additional burdens when I didn’t have to. As Dumbledore once told Harry Potter, help is always available at Hogwarts to those who ask.

This reading seemed to reinforce elements in my life that have already begun to manifest and have been coming into play. I see it more as a reaffirmation that I’m moving in the right direction than giving any earth-shattering revelations. It’s as if the Tarot gave me a cosmic “atta girl”. And I’ll take it!

Week 5 – Judgment & Control (#TarotReading #LePsychoTarot #52WeekProject)

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This week I decided to focus on something that’s been bothering me lately. I’ve always been a rather judgmental person. Part of that is due to the fact that I’m convinced that I know better than absolutely anybody else in the world. The other part is due to a desire to help other people fix the messes in their own lives because it’s a hell of a lot easier than fixing the messes in my own. So this week I decided to focus on being judgmental and trying to control other people’s lives. This is the reading I devised.

Temperance Rx, 10 of Circles Rx & The Emperor – Le Psycho Tarot by Hurley & Horler
  • What need does being judgmental fill?
  • What drives people to want to control others’ lives?
  • How can I change these tendencies in myself?

As you can see in the image above, the cards I pulled are Temperance Rx, 10 of Circles Rx, and The Emperor. I found this to be an interesting answer in response to my query. The overall take I got from these three cards is that a lot of this is due to imbalances in our own lives and an unwillingness to take control and be responsible for ourselves. Although that might quite possibly sound pretty judgmental on my part. 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️

So I think Temperance Rx is suggesting that we become judgmental in an effort to avoid dealing with imbalances in our own lives. Instead of forging ourselves into healthy, heartier, more holistic versions of ourselves, we project our unpleasant parts onto others. I know I often judge others poorly and see them as less because it helps me feel better about myself. So instead of building myself up, I try to accomplish the same goal by tearing others down. Instead of doing the hard work to embrace all my parts and merge them into a stronger unit; I slough it off, denying it and weakening myself. I think this is where Shadow work comes into play and can prove to be a very useful tool and fixing this particular flaw in myself.

The 10 of Circles Rx tells me that at the root of the desire to control others might be a need to maintain the status quo. I think a desire to protect our families, ourselves, our possessions, our stuff often feeds the desire to control others. I know I am often resistant to and fearful of change. It makes me feel very threatened and frightened. One way to address this fear is to try to control others to make sure that I protect my position, to keep my stuff. It took me awhile to remember that the point of this life is not accumulating stuff, it’s accumulating knowledge and experience. I lost the thread and lost sight of the fact that, in my opinion, my purpose for existing is to learn about myself, about the world, about other people. I can’t do that if I’m operating from a place of fear. As the saying goes it’s about the journey not the destination.

Seeing The Emperor in this position made me smile. It’s rather an obvious answer. The best way to change these tendencies mentioned above is to take control of my own life; to become the master of my own destiny. Instead of allowing myself to operate from a place of fear and reaction, I need to create my own game plan and move forward in order to achieve those goals and desires. Controlling others will never fix the core problem only I can do that by recognizing acknowledging and working on them myself. Other people have the right to live their lives however they choose to. It is not for me to say that their way is wrong. All I can say is that it’s the wrong way for me.

I want to focus on a more live and let live approach. As long as it doesn’t hurt anyone I think people should be free to live their lives the way that they choose, and I would hope they grant me the same courtesy. Unfortunately, there seems to be an increasing tendency towards trying to force one’s personal beliefs onto the rest of society. I have no desire to play that game. I think a lot of what we’re seeing going on these days is rooted in fear. There’s we’re always concerned about the status quo shifting, but the reality is nothing is fair about people enriching themselves at the expense and the oppression of others. {Soapbox rant ended}

The Seduction of the Devil (#Tarot #LightSeer’sTarot)

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I use an Android app called Uni Tarot to randomly pick my card of the day. I prefer this app because it allows me to upload whatever deck I feel like using. This cycle I’m using The Light Seer’s Tarot. Recently The Devil was the card drawn. As I looked at the image on this card it struck me that this figure reminds me of a cult leader – he’s attractive, exudes a charisma and sexual energy mixed with soulful eyes that promise he’ll heal your wounded soul. All the while, attached to his fingers are the strings that hold you captive. I’ve always found myself fascinated by cult leaders and the people willing to give up their autonomy to follow him. This inspired me to do the following reading.

  • What is The Devil offering? 10 of Wands Rx
  • What will it cost? The World Rx
  • What need is he fulfilling? Queen of Pentacles
  • What’s the best way to handle this? 4 of Pentacles Rx

Looking at this reading, a few things struck me right away. The first is that three of the cards are reversed which suggests The Devil and all his temptations tap into hidden needs and the shadow side that we choose to ignore. This suggests it’s unhealthy and ultimately not in our best interest to succumb to his seduction. The second thing I noticed is that two of the cards are Pentacles and The Devil is associated with Capricorn which is an earth sign. Another hint that perhaps the false promises The Devil makes allow us to feel more secure and as though the ground beneath our feet is not going to shift unexpectedly.

Looking at the first card drawn, I was struck by how appropriate its message is. I think one of the things that attracts people to cults or fundamentalist religious paths is that you no longer have to carry the burden of free will; you don’t need to be responsible for making decisions. They tell you what rules to follow and what to think. They tell you what the consequences will be if you break these rules. To some people that may feel like a burden has been lifted from their psyche.

However the second card, The World Rx, reminds us of the dangers inherent in some admitting to the will of others. We risk losing everything in which we once believed, that we value and hold dear. It’s both that simple and that complex.

I found the Queen of Pentacles an interesting card to appear in response to this question. I suppose there is something that seems nurturing and supportive in The Devil’s promises. She persuades us to believe that she will care for us, attend to all our needs and all we have to do for her is follow. She allows us to feel as though we are now fulfilled because we have found our path, even if it is ultimately a false one. Another aspect of any cult is that they usually siphon all of your assets which may also be reflected in the Queen of Pentacles.

And finally we see the 4 of Pentacles Rx, another interesting card in response to what was asked but one which makes perfect sense. I think it’s a reminder that very often what leads people into the clutches of cults whether religious or political is that they play into our fears of scarcity and losing what we have. They convince us that there is an “other” out there that wants to take everything we own; everything we’ve worked so hard to acquire. It feeds into our fears and makes us clutch our positions even more closely like a miser. It leads us down a path of being not only financially impoverished but spiritually impoverished as well. the reverse nature of this card suggests that the way to free yourself from The Devil’s illusions and influences is by letting go of your fears and embracing the others. Welcome them and befriend them, give them the benefit of the doubt and consider what you can work together to build rather than what you’re convinced they wish to take away from you.

This reading seems so appropriate right now because I think as a nation we have gone through a time of listening to devils’ illusions and false promises and now we are left reeling and unsure how to move forward. I think what we have to do is pick ourselves up stop holding on to our fears and allow ourselves to embrace the possibilities that lie ahead.

Something that occurred to me is I was reviewing this post is that in some birth card systems the shadow side of The Devil is The Lovers because 15 reduces down to six. Maybe that is ultimately the answer to the seductive false promises of The Devil – love and aspiring to connect with our higher selves, our better angels. Instead of listening to The Devil that allows us to wallow in our pettiness and venality perhaps we can connect with our higher side and aspire to be greater than the sum of our parts.

#MessageoftheDay – 10 of Pentacles, Ace of Wands Rx + King of Swords (#FairyLights #Tarot)

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The 10 of Pentacles reminds me being happy & safe at home (well safe at home anyway) is a blessing. I am among those lucky enough to be able to afford to do that. Are there challenges, of course, they are but I am truly thankful that it’s even a possibility.

The Ace of Wands reversed reminds me of all the blocked, untapped energy floating around out there. I can’t speak for anyone else, but this entire situation is making me feel fried. I can’t focus and it’s an effort to light my fire enough to begin any kind of project. It’s complicated by the fact that on beautiful days I can’t even leave the house. So I try to satisfy myself but simply observing the world around me. I pay attention to the chipmunks & squirrels, the blue jays and cardinals. I’m beginning to see things I never noticed before because I didn’t take the time.

The King of Swords points out that dealing with this situation from a place of logic and intellect is going to prove more useful and beneficial than freaking out or allowing the frustration to lead to actions that might worsen things. It also encourages me to listen to those with the knowledge and experience to handle these types of scenarios. Despite my paranoid conspiracy theorist tendencies, now is not the time to succumb to speculation.

#MessageoftheDay King of Wands, Magician Rx & 7 of Wands (#SecretForest Tarot)

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So, it’s day whatever the fuck of captivity (quarantine, whatever) and, as most of you probably are, my brains are so scrambled I don’t know what day it is anymore. So I decided to do something I haven’t done in a while – seek some advice, insight, clarity from Tarot.

I asked my guides/guardians for a message and pulled these cards:

I have to say at first I was a bit stymied, it’s been a while and my Tarot muscles are flabby. Looking at the images helped me see deeper. The King of Wands in this deck seems imprisoned in a tree trunk. All that energy and wisdom and knowledge is trapped and unable to be utilized; it’s potential in suspended animation.

The Magician reversed reminds us that this situation is not subject to our will; we cannot make things suit our parameters. The very nature of a virus is to mutate & change and not to bend itself to humanity’s will.  So if we cannot control our external environment we need to work on self-control.  We need to do what we can in our lives to improve the situation.

The 7 of Wands immediately made me think of those programs that show what the Earth would look like if humanity disappeared. I’m not implying that will happen any time soon however I do think things are getting pared down to their true, essential natures. All our defenses are useless. Truly good people are showing their generous, giving natures right now. Selfish, greedy people are having their inner selves exposed as well. This will prove to be a revelatory experience for many of us. We will learn more about ourselves and our neighbors, friends and family than we ever anticipated.  As a result we may become more guarded, more protective of our homes and families; not be as open as we were before.

I don’t think it took a whole lot of insight to see this but maybe that’s the lesson in this experience for of all of us. If we’re not the generous, giving people we thought we were, then how can we change this? If we find ourselves facing realities about friends and family that forever changes our perceptions of them, how do we address them going forward? I guess time will tell.

#MessageoftheDay – 9 of Swords, 2 of Pentacles + Justice Rx (Haunted Mansion Tarot)

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“Only you can truly free yourself from this Nightmare. Balance needs to be found and a way to tread carefully between the different interests that must be served. At the end of the day, changes may occur but Justice will probably not be served.”

#TarotDaily – Kali Rx + Chief of Wheels Rx (#SacredBridges)

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TarotHunter’s Salt Rounds:

  • Kali’s dance of death is inevitable. You can’t avoid it or postpone it, only accept it. Stubbornly refusing to accept change can create stagnation and prevent skills from growing. Face Kali and absorb her message so you can begin growing and manifesting your future.
  • Perhaps you enjoy the status quo. You feel on top and in control and don’t want that to change. Unfortunately, that’s an illusion. No matter how hard we cling to now, it always slips from our grasp. Enjoy it while it’s here but prepare yourself for future changes as well. Being King of the World is never permanent.
  • Kali will eventually dance on all our bones, that is the nature of life – things die so new life can grow. We try to outrace her; to create an oasis hidden from her influence, but it’s futile. On the positive side, things we hate right now will eventually fall to Kali’s dance too. As Bowie sang “Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes, turn and face the strange.”

Blue Rose Moon

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Blue Rose Moon

Blue Rose Tarot
Created by Paula Gibby
Published by Soul Guidance

The book says: And the Fool understands at last what he has been seeking as he traveled these many, many pathways.

Not just the ability to know – and not just the ability to dream. But the ability to understand the difference combined with the intuition to know how, where and when the two should come together.

And the power to make it happen.

As needed.

As wanted.

The true pearl of all existence.

Wisdom.

Just the mental visualization of the word causes the Universe to move once again. And the great Moon overhead casts down her golden beams of luminous light upon the dark water. And slowly, rhythmically, those waters begin to move. Very slowly at first, this ebb and flow of water, until at last, the growing walls of water begin to crash against the rocks, spewing their foam into the air. Crashing violently against those enormous columns of stone. The solid reality of rock. The ever-changing ebb and tide of water. The shifting interplay of light and shadow. A rhythm of movement both ancient…And eternal.

TarotBroad’s Buzz: This card speaks of darkness and mystery, of shadows and secrets.  Who is this figure and what does she (he) want?  Why is the figure standing at the shoreline and what does she hope to see?  Is the full moon friend or foe? Guardian or watcher?

Obviously the answers to these questions will depend upon your perspective but for me I see the figure as a guide to the mysteries of the moon.  She will help you examine the truths which we keep hidden even from ourselves; those deep, dark emotions we may prefer to avoid or to embrace so heartily that we lose sight of all else.  She is the guardian of our shadow side, our deep inner nature.  She can help us find the way back to shore after we have visited those stones in the middle of our soul, but she won’t save us if we chose to drown.  She understands that the darker, more intuitive side of our nature can be frightening and overwhelming but she cannot overcome that fear, we must do it on our own. She can help us learn to accept and embrace that side of ourselves but she cannot do it for us. She is also a sentinel watching to make sure that nothing too frightening overwhelms us until we are ready to deal with it.

In some ways this card reminds me of the role Dr. Wilbur, the psychiatrist, takes in the movie Sybil about a woman with multiple personality disorder. She cannot protect Sybil from the truth of her past with all its pain and torment but she can help her take it one step at a time until she is ready to embrace all of her selves and face the truth about her childhood. It can no longer physically hurt Sybil but dredging up those hidden memories almost causes her to hurt herself. Dr. Wilbur is there to guide her past those rocky points and let Sybil learn how to integrate her many selves into a healthy whole.

Discipline and the shallow stream

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I have come to realize that I resist any form of discipline – even when it’s one I believe I want. When I try to keep a journal, I find I’ll stick with it for a few days and then I grow resentful and stubborn and decide that no one is going to tell me what to do (not even me) and I stop. It’s ridiculous, immature and self-defeating. I know this. Hell, I’m calling myself on it and yet I can’t stop it.

DruidCraft 4 of Cups

This has recently forced me to ask myself why? I tend to avoid being overly introspective because . . . well read the preceding paragraph. This time I forced myself to really think about why I’m so resistant to this stuff. After a few uncomfortable fits and starts it finally clicked for me. I avoid journaling, introspection and other exercises which might force me to take a deep look at myself because I’m afraid of what I might find. I may joke about being as “deep as a shallow stream” but the reality is that I like to believe I have some depth; that there is an introspective side to me. I have a feeling that I avoid exercises that might help prove this theory because I’m equally terrified that it will disprove it. What if I am truly shallow? What if the things I consider signs of depth and introspection are simply going through the motions? There are times when I am convinced that I lack the capacity for human compassion and empathy; when I don’t understand the emotional undercurrents that drive people’s behaviors. There are times when I actually believe I have sociopathic tendencies. I wonder if my preference for well-defined boundaries and strict adherence to rules (well most rules anyway) are an effort to enforce an ethical code because I’m afraid relying on my conscience won’t cut it.

Touchstone 7 of Wands

Of course I also realize that a large amount of this fear is due to my father. I loved my father but learned early on that there was a huge screw missing. He often did things he knew were “wrong” or unethical and he did them anyway. His lack of understanding and compassion were frightening to child, especially one who was so often told how much she was like him. As I grew older as realized I didn’t quite fit in with others in the sense that I just didn’t understand their reasoning and motivations for things, I panicked a bit. I thought I was defective somehow. So I learned to compensate and hide this – or at least I tried to, I can’t say I did a very good job. Even now I just don’t understand what drives people in certain areas. I will never understand what pushes women to submit to increasingly invasive procedures in order to have a child. It’s not in my psyche because I’ve never, ever wanted children. Now at least I realize there’s nothing wrong with me or them – we just differ in this area.

Tarot of the Crone Ace of Cups

Now as this post draws to a close I’ll reveal my big discovery (which readers may have figured out already), I’m not shallow. As I was reviewing this post I realized that if I was shallow I wouldn’t worry about it. If I truly had no depth or talent for introspection then this blog wouldn’t exist. Whew! I really had myself worried for a minute there.

Wheel of Change Tower

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Wheel of Change Tower

Wheel of Change Tarot
created by Alexandra Gennetti
Published by Destiny Books, 1997
ISBN #0-89281-609-0

The Book Says: In a reading, this card represents a loss of structure – perhaps a straight-forward physical loss, such as losing one’s job or home, or a more complex emotional loss, such as feeling of being misplaced or terribly wrong. It can represent a world in which you feel out of control, a world where others determine your future with no regard for your needs. A worst-case scenario is a world of war. The Tower can represent ineffective communication, either by yourself or by others towards you, perhaps in the context of an important relationship. This may leave you feeling isolated and remote, as if you were physically ensconced within an ivory tower. Your only way out is to break the spell of the distance you feel and to admit your pride and arrogance in order to resolve the impasse. The appearance of the Tower in your reading indicates that while the world may seem to crumble around you, perhaps this is the way that balance and harmony will be restored. The feelings you experience during a true titanic crisis will strip you to your soul, and through this kind of experience you may undergo a purification that will help you to find the creativity to go on.

TarotBroad’s Buzz: This card is one of almost absolute destruction. The tower is full of smoke and fire and not likely to survive. The volcanic eruption is filling the streets with lava, smoke and ash. It reminds me of what Pompeii must’ve looked like when Mt. Vesuvius spewed molten lava and ash across its streets. The searing heat of the lava must’ve felt unbearably suffocating. The lightning bolts shooting through the sky are threatening and frightening.  This image reminds me of a scene from an Irwin Allen disaster movie. The entire world seems to be destroying itself.

I have to admit that there doesn’t seem to be much hope in this card. And with things standing the way they are right now if almost seems prophetic. It certainly seems to bring to mind the current situation in the Middle East, especially Syria; explosions, eruptions, fire and devastation. Everything will be razed to the ground, with nothing left standing.  The only hope is that people are escaping. They manage to free themselves from the destruction and devastation and hold the hope of rebuilding and restoring some sense of structure and order. It brings to mind the Stephen King book The Stand which describes what happens to the survivors of a deadly, lab created virus which escapes a military installation. Civilization and life as they know it no longer exists. And the survivors must struggle to rebuild while at the same time, hopefully, avoided the same traps that condemned their civilization to destruction. The one hope the Tower holds is that we can learn from the destruction and devastation and take steps to prevent such things from happening again.