Week 35 – Heron’s Message (#TarotReading #ShiningTribeTarot #52WeekProject)

The water outside my in-laws’ house is occasionally visited by a heron (well, I think it’s the same heron). According to WorldBirds.com “The heron is often used as a symbol of grace and beauty. It is not hard to see why this is upon observing the fluid movements and stunning appearance of this bird. Beyond the physical body of the heron, these birds are often found in beautiful places as well. The harmonious regions where land and sea (or pond, lake, or river) meet is the heron’s home. Thus the heron represents three essential energies which exist in perfect balance: land, water, and sky.

The calm stillness of the heron of course represents peace and serenity. On top of this, the heron’s endless patience reminds us of the importance of waiting for opportunities to appear. Timing is a difficult thing to master, but everyone could learn a thing or two from watching the heron at work!”

I decided to focus this reading on heron’s liminal nature. So I pulled a card each to represent land, sea & sky (or physical, emotional and intellectual)

  • Land/Physical Realm – Gift of Trees
  • Sea/Emotional Realm – 4 of Stones
  • Air/Intellectual Realm – Knower of Trees

The Gift of Trees reveals I need to merge knowledge about what is best for my physical health and combine it with the wisdom to use it in ways that will best help me. I think it’s a reminder that no one else is going to take care of my health except me. I often know what I should do, but that doesn’t mean I actually do it. This card suggests it’s time to change that pattern. Healthier eating is certainly one of the key elements of making this happen.

The 4 of Stones suggests that in order to move on to the next level of my emotional journey, I need to be willing to push past my comfort zone. I need to be willing to go through the doorway and explore uncharted territory. It’s a frightening prospect because dealing with emotions has always made me feel vulnerable and exposed. This is a recurring theme for me, and Heron is once again reinforcing it.

The Knower of Trees suggests I have a core burning within me that needs to learn and think. A core I need to nurture; to continue feeding and tending. My intellectual side needs to be supported in a way that keeps my inner passion and fire for knowledge and information burning. The blooming tree or flower at the core of the figure on this card suggests that pursuit of knowledge and information is at the core of who I am. It’s what inspires me to keep moving, and keep learning. It’s what enables me to grow and bloom as a person, and I need to take care of it to ensure it does not wither and die.

Heron seems to be letting me know that it’s time to make changes in my life that will transform things in a positive healthy way. I’ve been stuck in neutral for too long; allowing things to happen to me rather than taking control and trying to steer the course of my life. Moving forward it will prove more beneficial and enjoyable for me to be more focused and moving towards goals I want to achieve rather than just drifting.

Week 12 Major Influences Spread (#TarotReading #HauntedHouseTarot #52WeekProject)

10 of Pentacles, 5 of Swords & 6 of Wands Rx from The Haunted House Tarot by Sasha Graham

I felt rather overwhelmed and befuddled this past week.  I’m still trying to get things resolved with regard to a housing situation for my brother-in-law or, rather, I’m waiting for the Department of Social Services to do so.  I realized they are a bureaucracy, and as such move at a glacial pace, however I have reached the end of my rope and can no longer sustain the current situation.  I am in the process of selling my mother-in-law’s house and once that is accomplished my brother-in-law needs to be gone.  I’m trying not to be harsh about the situation but I’ve been doing this for a year and a half with absolutely no relief and have reached the end of my internal resources.  It came to a head earlier this week when my brother-in-law’s caseworker asked me to postpone the sale.  To say you could have knocked me over with a feather would have been an understatement.  This has resulted in a bit of spiraling on my part so I decided I needed to get some clarity. 

I decided to try this Major Influences Spread by Nancy Antenucci that I found in 101 Tarot Spreads by 20 Modern Tarot Masters (Volume 1).  I like three card spreads because they’re simple enough to not be overwhelming and one can always pull additional cards for further clarification.  As you can see in the image above I drew the 10 of Pentacles, 5 of Swords and 6 of Wands reversed from The Haunted House Tarot by Sasha Graham.  I do so love when the Tarot gives me such a clear message.

So, in answer to what are the apparent known influences in this situation I drew the 10 of Pentacles.  The image in this card so perfectly fits my current situation that it’s unnerving.  One of my primary goals or motivations in this entire thing is getting moved back into my house before winter starts.  I had originally hoped to be there by Halloween but that is clearly not happening.  I’m tentatively hopeful that I will be there by Thanksgiving, but I think it might be more realistic to hope that I can celebrate Thanksgiving in the house, even if I’m not fully moved in yet.  So this image of a snow covered house with a happy family card in the foreground exactly expresses my motivations, desires and goals.

This 5 of Swords card is a bit unnerving because the figure in the foreground holding the knife looks like a man dressed in an old-fashioned nurse outfit.  He seems to be holding the knife and staring at the heroine of the piece, but it’s difficult to tell his intent.  I think this is to remind me that, while I am frustrated with DSS’s seeming lack of action up to this point, I’m not really sure what’s going on behind the scenes.  All might not be as it appears to me.  I’m sure there is a lot of behind the scenes negotiating and planning, to which I’m not privy, attempting to resolve this situation.  And, as a dear friend reminded me during this week, this is nothing personal against me.  As far as DSS is concerned, I’m actually rather irrelevant to this process.  I’m the caregiver that provides direct services, but how it impacts me is really not their priority.  I don’t have to like it but I also should be careful not to take it as a personal attack because then my responses create negative situations that don’t need to occur.

The 6 of Wands reversed reminds me that this isn’t a personal battle or a personal attack.  As I mentioned in the previous card, this is more about bureaucracies that are underfunded and understaffed trying to do the best with the resources available to them and make sure it is in the best interest of their clients.  I’m not their client so I’m just not their priority. If my need and interests intersect with theirs that’s great. If not, they’re not as cooperative. It isn’t an attack on me.  If I can take the sense of personal attack out of it, I might be able to handle things in a calmer and more rational manner.  At the same time, I think this card is reminding me not to abandon my needs either.  I don’t have to go gently into that good night, and it’s important that I advocate for myself and my needs. I also need to be cautious about acting like Bam Bam Rubble, smashing anything in my way to emerge victorious. Remembering that these representatives of government agencies are not trying to prevent me from achieving my goals and desires, they’re merely trying to ensure my brother in law’s needs are being met as well. No one actually triumphs in this situation; it’s more a case of the best possible outcome.

Overall this reading help me clarify some of the issues that have been bedeviling me this past week.  Ultimately I will get moved into my home and this house will be sold. My brother-in-law will be placed in a safe facility that can meet his needs.  Both our lives will go forward. I need to be cautious not to let incorrect interpretations and misunderstandings create a hostile and negative relationship with these government agencies because that will not help this process.  At the same time it’s perfectly fair for me to say that my needs matter too and I am not a doormat.  I have every right to say enough is enough, and they need to do whatever is necessary to ensure that my brother-in-law is placed somewhere once this house is sold.  That’s not me being selfish, that’s me looking out for my own health and well-being and survival.

#MessageoftheDay – 7 of Cups Rx, 2 of Wands & 8 of Cups (#MoonGarden #Tarot)

Today I focused on how to deal with the crazy because, to be perfectly honest, each new day convinces me even more that everyone is going cuckoo bananas. I’m not even trying to engage in debates with people any more because it seems like we’ve all picked a side and rabidly defend it, including me.

Anyway, between daily stress, COVID stress and political stress, I’m feeling like a piece of taffy bring stretched beyond reason. So I asked my handy dandy, wibbly wobbly Tarot deck for some insight on how to handle this. The response I received:

These cards show me that it’s all smoke and mirrors; the promises and rewards being offered are illusions. I can’t see the truth because it’s obfuscated by spin, rhetoric & implicit biases. I can’t find my way to that castle on the hill because the path is clouded and impossible to navigate.

If I want to create something for myself; to start a new project or partnership then I need to focus on myself. I need to start putting together the foundation that will help me get there. I need to unleash the energy and magic that will reveal the right path for me.

And finally, I need to know when it’s time to walk away. At certain points I need to release my emotional attachments to things which no longer serve me or help me progress forward. Whether these attachments are possessions, memories or views of myself and those around me, it’s time to let go. A reality check is needed and rose colored glasses contribute to the cloudy, obscured path I’m trying to move passed.

#MessageoftheDay – 4 of Staffs, 8 of Pentacles & 3 of Swords (#MoonGarden # Tarot)

Today I focused on what will aid me in staying on course with my new journaling goals. I drew:


To me, this reading is a reminder to keep my creative energies focused and balanced; not to overdo things and run out of steam (a tendency of mine).  I also need to reflect along the way so I can fine tune what I’m doing.  To fully real the benefits I also need to be willing to poke at myself; apply my analytical, rational side to evaluating emotional responses to situations.  To make lasting changes in my life I’ll need to sometimes be harsh, almost cruel, in my honesty because repeating the same patterns defeats the purpose.

I’m still enthusiastic about this process but this reading reminds me it’s not all fun and games, at least not if I want lasting, impactful change.

#MessageoftheDay – 3 of Swords Rx, Knight of Wands + Judgement (Haunted Mansion Tarot)

“Past betrayal leaves us feeling unable to determine which way is up. It makes us want to charge into the battle and seek vengeance upon those that have hurt us. However, it is important to remember that judgement needs to be given in a fair, impartial way in order to truly matter. If it is not thoughtful and considered, the judgement feels false. Charging into battle without a plan to punish those we deem wrong serves no useful purpose. Remember that Judgement works both ways.”

#TarotDaily – 3 of Pentacles + 7 of Cups Rx + 9 of Wands Rx (#TrickorTreat)

Whom do you need to forgive? Why? How can you best do so?

I need to forgive my childhood, my parents, my upbringing, myself. I’ve worked hard for everything I have in my life. I paid my way through high school and college. I saved money for clothes, books and any extras I had. My parents didn’t have it. They had four children and high school educations; the world was not beating a path to their door. So if I wanted dolls, books, clothes, I earned the money for them.

My working class roots limited my options in life. This is something I resent and regret even as I acknowledge that some if it is my own doing. When I applied to colleges I didn’t even consider Ivy league or out of state schools because I didn’t belong. Even when I attended NYU I couldn’t connect with many of the other students – our life experiences were too different and I wasn’t very flexible (still not). I didn’t feel the need to change in order to fit in and as a result alienated some folks who might have become friends or at least useful contacts.

The best way for me to forgive thus is to truly let it go. It’s a weight I’ve carried for years and it’s pointless and exhausting. I can’t change the past or redo those decisions and choices. All that’s left is to learn from them and move forward. I can be proud of what I have achieved and stop bemoaning lost opportunities.

#TarotDaily – Page of Discs + 2 of Wands Rx #(AllHallows)

How are you enslaved? What is the answer?

Hmm, so I’m a prisoner of my own need to learn; my greed for knowledge and stuff. Sometimes I feel like my entire life is one big hyperlink. I learn about a topic and then that leads me to another topic which leads me to another topic and so on and so on. Even when it comes to hobbies, which in theory should be a form of relaxation, I feel the need to gather as much information abd materials as possible before actually beginning anything.

For example, when I collected Barbie dolls I had to research the value of the dolls. I had to learn the different face molds used. I had to discover the history of Barbie fashions. I couldn’t just relax and buy dolls, I had to add all of that information first.

The same thing happened when I became interested in Tarot cards. I wasn’t one of those people who opened up a deck and began to read. I had to learn about the history of the tarot and the different interpretations of the cards; the different ways one could interpret the cards (divinatory, psychological, etc.). I had to have a mix of modern, classic and vintage decks; a blend of mass produced and self-published. Needless to say this tendency quickly increased both my doll and Tarot collections. Don’t even get me started on my book collection!

My newest dive into the deep end is card making and stamping. Somehow within only a matter of months I have managed to acquire quite a collection of stamps, a stamp platform, a die cutting and embossing machine, and numerous collections of pattern paper and cardstock. I have subscribed to a few magazines focused on card making and paper crafts. Subscribed to and watched numerous YouTube channels. So, as one can see I am consistent in my enslavement to my obsessions. A friend and I once joked that we both have SIOID, or stress induced obsessive interest disorder. Not a clinical diagnosis but certainly one that has a negative impact on one’s bank account.

So, what is the antidote to this problem? Well to be perfectly honest I can’t say that I feel I need a solution. I like the disease. However, even I can acknowledge that part of the reason it gets so bad so quickly is because I’m using it as a way to counteract my isolation. So I would have to say that the way to address this enslavement of mine is to find people that I can interact with, do projects with, even share some of these obsessions. This might be easier said than done due to the realities of my life at this time but it is something I can do in a limited fashion. Or, I can actually put these interests to good use (creating cards & donating them to charities, for example) instead of letting them collect dust.

#TarotDaily – 2 of

How are the ghosts of your past still influencing your life?

The ghosts of my past, or as I like to call them – my ancestors, left me a legacy of family obligation and responsibility as well as strength and fortitude.

The women in my direct line did not domesticate well. We aren’t the best at cooking or cleaning but we’re great at taking on a lot of responsibility; at getting things done. At the same they helped me learn how to forge my own path in life; how to be strong and endure. I’ve learned to trust my own mind, even if I don’t always follow through. I realize that compromising who I am to satisfy others sucks! It’s not worth it to me and if it results in a limited social circle I’m fine with that.

So, I may need to get better at the whole finding balance thing but I have learned not to try to fit in and be like everyone else; not to do things because others expect me to do them. I may be chained by what I believe are my obligations to family but I’ve accepted that. Is it easy, hell no! However in my heart I know that this is right for me and I feel good about it.

#TarotDaily – 6 of Wands + Ace of Swords Rx (#AllHallows)

I’m using Journaling the Tarot by Andy Matzner to come up with questions for my daily card reading. I let my Uni Tarot app randomly pull a card each day and then use that card to determine a question. Today’s card is Justice Rx so I selected this question from the options provided.

What do you need to do in order to be true to yourself?

My answer is the 6 of Wands crossed by the reversed Ace of Swords.

I need to find a challenge, a dare, a way to feel successful and appreciated. In order to achieve this I need to change my perspective; explore a new way of thinking.

Okay, that’s the abbreviated version. In Tarot Broad land that means I need to stop planning and do. Sometimes it’s too easy for me to get caught in my own head. I spend so much time thinking about and planning things that I never get around to actually doing them. The message here is to get my head out of my ass and get my ass in gear.

Of course that’s easier said than done sometimes. The reality is that there are serious limits on my mobility and flexibility, which explains why I got the Ace of Swords reversed. Clearly I need to find a new, different way of thinking about these things. I like to think of myself as unique, quirky, even a little bizarre,and yet I continue to try traditional ways of achieving my goals. I think this reading is telling me it’s time to think outside the box. Hell, it’s probably time to tear up the box all together and throw it away! Care to join me in a chorus of “I’ve got to be me”?

#TarotDaily – 5 of Stakes + Yemaya (#SacredBridges)

TarotHunter’s Silver Bullets:

  • Do not give in to despair or let desolation become a permanent mindset. Instead, trust your intuition; listen to your instincts. Reality is that eventually things will change, hopefully for the better but if you give in to defeatism you won’t be able to recognize the changes.
  • Shielding yourself from reality only works for so long; you will eventually need to face the truth. Explore spiritual ideas and practices to help you handle matters in a soul-centered, holistic, positive way.
  • Yemaya holds the key to the answers you need but you cannot see her if you don’t open you eyes, heart, mind & soul. Try communicating with your spiritual guides, listen to their answers and use them to think about your path moving forward.