Week 39 – How can I bring Frith (Peace) into my life? (#TarotReading #HerbalTarot #52WeekProject)

Earlier this week I drew the rune Jera as an omen. I decided to incorporate its energies into my reading for the week. Among other things, Jera represents “peace on the land and in the heart“. So I asked the universe how I can manifest this peace in my life and drew The Star Rx, 4 of Wands and Page of Cups.

The Star Rx reminds me that I should never give up hope. I need to hold on to it within my heart and feel its healing waters wash over me. This card also reminds me that I’m still healing; I’m still in the process of grieving my husband’s death and determining what kind of life I want to create for myself moving forward. I need to still be gentle with myself and not try to force matters to suit some unwritten agenda.

The 4 of Wands shows me that continuing to connect with nature is another way to bring peace into my life. In the short time I’ve been paying more attention to the wildlife around me, I’ve come to appreciate the tenacity and courage of the small creatures – chipmunks, squirrels, small birds. There is so much out there that can threaten them and yet they endure. They managed to face the challenges and find paths that allow them to survive and thrive. They must experience loss and other potential miseries, but they still focus their energies on survival. I have to admire that quality. At the same, time I realize that one of the qualities of nature is that smaller critters are prey to larger critters. Pretty cats can be quite deadly to small animals. The crows I love to watch so much think nothing of feeding on smaller animals to survive. It is their nature and that is a lesson for me too.

The Page of Cups appears to once again point out that I need to continue the Journey of getting to know myself. I must continue exploring my emotions and embrace the fact that I’m human, I can, and most likely will, be hurt sometimes. Pretending that I don’t feel things deeply as a way of protecting myself is felt spectacularly, and I know that. The Page of Cups is letting me know that I need to explore new tools for dealing with my emotions; healthier, more balanced tools and techniques will be more beneficial. All I’ve managed to do by trying to build a huge wall to protect myself is become a cranky hermit. Not exactly the most well-balanced way to deal with life.

Once again these cards have reinforced messages I’ve received before, especially as it pertains to my own emotional healing and reconnecting with the world around me. A lot of this is beneficial to explore because right now I am rather limited in where I can go and what I can do. So, within those parameters, I need to find other ways to bring joy and peace in my life. Retail therapy is not a solution, despite my love of getting packages.

Week 11 Caring for Myself (#TarotReading #DarkWoodTarot #52WeekProject)

Last week’s left me wondering how I could follow the message of the Page of Cups – taking better care of myself listening to my inner self. So I decided this week that would be the focus of my question. I kind of loosely envisioned the positions as Body, Mind and Spirit, but I wasn’t focused on those positions when I pulled the cards. Of course, as is so often the case in my relationship with Tarot and this deck in particular, I didn’t need to focus on positions to get the message I needed to hear.

The World, The Sun and 10 of Swords from Sasha Graham’s Dark Wood Tarot

The first thing that struck me about all three of these cards that they’re female, which I love. It makes it that much more personal for me. Two of these women are entirely nude, which reminds me that the best way to actually make myself a priority is to be completely honest with myself; to bare my soul, no matter how frightening that might seem. The figure in the final card wears a very revealing dress which suggests she is in the process of baring herself in order to move on to the next level.

The World reminds me that it’s time to make my physical health a priority; to make it the center of my focus. For many years my own health and physical needs have been put on a back burner and I’ve suffered the consequences of that choice. If I want to move forward from a place of health and wellness, I need to focus on eating well and being more physically active. I want to get to a place where I’m as proud of my physical self as the woman on this card.

The Sun, a card for which my Leo Sun has a strong affinity, shows me that my mindset also needs a shift so that once again I understand that it’s okay to make myself a priority. To move forward with a healthy mindset, and let go of the guilt and responsibility that have been holding me down for the last few years, I need to accept that it’s my time to shine; my time to be in the Sun. It’s okay to shine and not hide my light because I might be worried about other people will think. The Sun also reminds me that it’s okay to be warmed by the recognition and praise of others. I’m often very resistant to compliments. The Sun reminds me that there’s nothing wrong with having one’s achievements recognized.

The 10 of Swords suggest that this might be the most challenging part of my journey, the one I struggle with the hardest. At the same time, it may be the most achievable because it’s the one requiring the most practical steps. This will require me to face all those inner demons and slay them; to make my own journey into the darkness of my soul like Inanna. I have a feeling it’s going to be like lancing a boil or removing a splinter – initially painful, but ultimately necessary to allow healing.

Overall I find this reading very positive and a reminder that many of the things I’m struggling with right now can be changed by a shifting of mindset and being more positive and gentle with myself. Pounding myself into submission isn’t the answer to this situation. It requires a more subtle, sharp, Swords approach rather than my usual blunt, Wands approach. If I can follow the advice of this reading I think it will produce a hugely positive outcome which will produce long term, life changing benefits.

Working through my loss (#TarotReading #PearlsofWisdomTarot)

The one year anniversary of my husband’s death is next week. On one hand, I can’t believe it’s been a year. On the other, hand it feels like he’s been gone far longer than that. My husband and I were together for 38 years when he died and it was very challenging learning how to deal with things on my own. I didn’t realize how many things he took care of for the both of us. I’m sure it would have been the same situation if I had died and he lived because we tended to divide up our responsibilities that way. There’s something both terrifying and reassuring about the fact that I’m able to handle a lot of this without John even if I wish I didn’t have to.

April 1, 1986 is the day John and I went down to City Hall in New York and applied for our marriage license. 36 years ago – seems like such a long time ago and yet I remember it like it was yesterday. In honor of this anniversary I pulled two cards from my Tarot deck while asking John for a message. This was his response

John’s message using Pearls of Wisdom Tarot

Seeing these cards I burst into tears because they are truly both such John energies, especially as they pertained to the way he cared for in about me. The Chariot suits John for many reasons: it’s his birth card; he was a car guy who loved tinkering with his vehicles; and he refused to let anyone else tell him what to do. He steered the course of his life, for better and worse. With this card John is reminding me that I need to be sure to take up the reins and guide my life going forward. I can certainly seeks advice and guidance from others, but I’m the charioteer now.

The 9 of Pentacles is John’s way of reminding me he always wanted to be sure I would be in a good financial place if anything happened to him. He has definitely done this. In fact, he could have retired but he continued to work. He wanted to be sure there would be enough in his pension to take care of me if something happened to him. Ironically that is what happened. He is visually showing me that he wants me to enjoy what I have and the time I have left. He wants me to be happy and healthy and take care of myself. I think the best way to honor John’s memory is to do that

#ChattingwithTarot – Empress Rx, 2 of Swords Rx + 4 of Cups Rx (#WizardsTarot)

Over my afternoon cuppa @HarneyTea’s wondrous Viennese Earl Grey blend, I had my chat with the Divine (today it felt rather like Grandma Burke, my paternal grandmother, decided to pay a call). Her message to me:

What I heard, “Enough already! I get it, you’re feeling frustrated and stifled because life right now requires you to focus on being nurturing and somewhat maternal – not your favorite thing. You think your creative juices are drying up from lack of use. I call bullshit! You aren’t looking at things clearly. Open up you damn eyes and see what’s really going on. See how you can change things so your creative energies find expression. Stop waiting for things to change and make it happen! Stop letting self-pity hold you down. You already know the answer so trust your instincts.”