The Hermit is telling me that what I truly know is how to be alone; how to handle things by myself. I know how to explore new territory in a search for answers and knowledge. I truly know how to rely on no one but myself. I know how to shoulder a burden and continue moving forward despite the cost. It’s a very short trip from self-reliance and solitude to isolation and loneliness.
The 6 of Pentacles Rx shows that I’m clueless about asking for or accepting help. As The Hermit shows, I’m comfortable, maybe too comfortable, going it alone. Asking for help has often seemed like a devil’s bargain to me. Often this is because when I have asked for help in the past it is either reluctantly or begrudgingly given or, after promising to help, people don’t follow through. At his often left me feeling like a character in Oliver Twist with my hand out asking “please may I have some more”. I’m clueless about accepting that people will be honest when I ask for help, and if they’re unable to do so will let me know. I’m clueless about accepting did people really do want to help when they offer. This is definitely a learning process for me.
The Page of Cups is showing me that what will help me transform my cluelessness into awareness is listening to my heart, my inner voice; being kinder and gentler with myself. It also shows me that I need to relearn how to be more heart centered, and focused. I need to reconnect with my emotionally vulnerable inner core, which is something I’ve never been comfortable doing.
Overall, this reading reminds me that while self-reliance and independence can be positive traits, they can also become negative traits when it makes one unable to ask for or accept help. It also reminds me that sometimes you have to be willing to be emotionally vulnerable in order to establish positive, healthy, reciprocal relationships. Reality is that always giving or always being the one who helps creates an imbalance in relationships. Denying people the opportunity to provide support and assistance can create resentment and strain, and may even eventually damage the relationship. If I want to avoid this I need to work at establishing a more balanced give and take in my relationships.
Well, two days in a row – a new record for me. Once again I decided to simply ask my guides/guardians for insight and guidance. I drew these three cards:
They suggest that there is a lot hidden beneath the surface that is being circled around but not addressed. There will be new growth and prosperity after this has moved on because that is the nature of things. The cycle will once again begin working its way upwards, however that doesn’t mean the danger is over.
As I reviewed this reading, I realized this could refer to the changes taking places in families right now. Social media is filled with posts if parents and children building stronger relationships due to forced social distancing. We’re mandated to slow down and some are using this opportunity to reconnect with their families; learning to appreciate the often thankless responsibilities teacher handle every day.
Maybe the growth and changes will be in how we interact with each other moving forward. Consider all those familial issues we were able to ignore before. We treaded water rather than diving down to find their origins. This might be our chance to root out the weeds and allow more healthy, nurtured, nourished relationships to bloom forth. Of course, we might also learn that in some instances things are unsalvageable. Although that may prove painful to accept, it will also provide an opportunity to cut away what is rotted and festering and allow a healthier life and relationships in the future.
Growth and change can be scary but they can also provide opportunities for healing and growth. Only we can decide how to handle it.
“Prosperity and abundance appear to be all around. There seems to be new growth and expansion in the world. However, be cautious about celebrating just yet. The true cost of this wealth has not yet been determined. Will what you sow prove beneficial in the long term?”
Today my ancestors have chosen to remind me that balance is the key to my having it all. It’s the missing piece to the puzzle; the truth I hide from myself.
Of course I know this. It’s another of those truths of which I am well aware and yet continue to ignore. I willfully blind myself to it. Deliberate obtuseness is a long-standing trait of mine. My mother refers to it as being thick and, to be honest, it’s one I inherited from my ancestors. So perhaps this is also a “learn from our mistakes” kind of message.
Now that I’ve been reminded of this truth, what shall I do with it? Time will tell.
My ancestors are a bit more encouraging and less scolding today.
They’re pointing out that overall I have a good life; one of financial stability and comfort. I have an amazing marriage to a supportive man who appreciates my crazy. What I’m lacking is intellectual challenges; academic pursuits. I need puzzles to solve and knowledge to acquire. I need a quest!
Of course the only thing stopping me is me. I let myself get bogged down in overly analyzing things; getting so caught up in planning that I never do anything. It safer that way. If I don’t actually begin, I can’t fail. Of course, then I’ll never be truly satisfied either. Tallyho!
How might self-discipline give you more freedom? What would be a way for you develop that discipline?
Self-discipline would enable me to make more informed, practical decisions based in what I’ve achieved so far and what I plan to achieve in the coming years. I have a rather “shoot from the hip” approach to most matters. As a rule, this has worked just fine for me so I feel little incentive to change. This card suggests that planning things in advance and periodically taking stock might help me use my time and energy more effectively as well as recognizing how far I’ve come.
One technique that might help me in being more open to this approach is celebrating my victories when they occur. As much as I don’t take stock, I’m also not good at appreciating or valuing what I’m good at doing. I tend to take a dismissive approach to my own achievements. I’m not sure whether this is because I felt that highlighting my achievements would alienate me from other people or because I have self-esteem issues. What’s most likely is it is a combination of both. Having said that, maybe it’s time to embrace, honor, and celebrate my achievements. This certainly wood go a long way towards keeping me on track and being self-disciplined.
What parts of your past must you explore and resolve in order to move forward?
This was a tough reading for me. I sometimes find when the reading is about me, interpreting it can be tricky. I see what I want to see or delude myself. I plan to try avoiding it here but I’m not sure how successful I’ll be.
This reading feels connected to my career (well former career). I invested many hours into my former profession and still struggle to accept I’ll likely never work at a career again. Oh I may find work, get a job, but I’ll never again climb a career ladder. There are several reasons for this. One is that I wouldn’t return to my former profession even if it were possible. The field has changed dramatically since I left. Government regulations and funding requirements have made it more about metrics and measurable outcomes than quality programming and services.
I will also never invest so much of myself in another job. I dedicated my heart, soul and body to that job. I put in untold extra hours ensuring things ran smoothly and the facility was safe. I exhausted myself. I had friends and family volunteer for various activities and events. And, for several years I was able to work my dream job. I accomplished what I wanted in that field and now I need to release it and move forward.
Now I need to focus on the plethora of opportunities out there for me in new arenas. It won’t be a career path, instead it may be pursuing joy. This is my chance to explore all the things that make me happy, big and small, without pressure or expectations. For years I felt I didn’t live up to my potential. Now I can redefine where my potential truly lies. I can do things just for the sheer pleasure. That is exciting!
Changes are coming that may lead to a shift in mindset; a reassessment of where you are and where you want to be.
No matter how hard you try, you can’t escape change (trust me, I’ve tried). The best option is to try to prepare for it as best you can. Make plans so that you can get ahead of it. Consider different potential scenarios so that you can be ready to handle them. Just remember that fleeing willy-nilly is probably not the best solution.
As David Bowie once sang about changes “turn and face the strange”. Trying to escape or protect yourself from change inevitably produces failure. Instead of running away from change, try embracing it, celebrating it and seeing where it leads you.
Transformational Tarot Created by by Arnell Ando Published by US Games (2006) ISBN:1572815396
The Book says: Powerful energy that gives a source of strength. It brightens surrounding cards bringing a sense of optimism. A time of growth and rekindled enthusiasm. Achievements acknowledged, success, happiness and true friends. Celebration. A deepening of one’s awareness. A time of creativity.
Reversed: The card warns of one being blinded by ambition and experiencing a possible burnout.
TarotBroad’s Buzz: There is a sense of sweetness and comfort from this card. The children roam in the garden, unafraid and joyful in their surroundings. The sunflowers bloom offering beauty, hope and warmth to the day. The solar father overhead watches his children and guards them from harm. This card brings to mind a time of innocence and youthful energy, or potential and possibilities. Each sunflower represents a possible choice. The children wandering the garden have the opportunity to select whichever one they desire. They are like the newly ripened fruit bursting with seeds just waiting to be planted. Their energy, nourishment and guidance comes from the blessings and support of the solar father. The children also represent the future and a new day dawning. Right now they are carefree and playful, learning the lessons of life. But eventually their day in the sun will come and they will become the leaders and the parents, guarding and protecting the seeds of the next generation.
Blue Rose Tarot Created by Paula Gibby Published by Soul Guidance
The Author says: The Fool stands, takes a deep breath and reaches one of the items he has carried for so long. Familiar, safe. He hates the very idea of letting any of them go. He turns toward the golden scale encased in its bubble of crystal. He gazes one more time at this treasure that he has carried for so long. And then he closes his eyes. In response, he feels the soft gossamer wings of the white butterfly settle upon his lids and discovers that he can see things with a clarity and “crystality” of vision he has never before experienced. It is enough…the crystal bubble yields to the pressure of his hand as he places his treasure upon the scale.
He watches the tilting of the scale, balancing his cargo again a counterweight manufactured out of his sense of spirituality, inner purpose and his assessment of the obstacles and ultimate goals that lie ahead. He reaches behind him and clasps his hand around the heavy crystal hilt of the Great Sword of Justice. The sword of discernment and discrimination…the sword which severs the wheat from the chaff. He sees what he wants to keep…and what he wants to let go. Taking careful aim, he raises that great sword high above his head. And brings it flashing down.
So, what does the Fool decide to keep and what does he cut away? What does it matter to you, oh fellow Fool? For such determinations and assessments are different for every Fool. Each of us is a unique being. At this time, it is wise to remember a few lines from the discussion of the High Priestess; namely, that there are many paths to spiritual evolution. As many as are needed.
TarotBroad’s Buzz: This is the blind yet all-seeing eye of justice which looks at us, weighs our lives and uses the gold sword to cut away the dross that we need to release. She is pitiless and compassionate, harsh and loving. She knows that if we don’t impartially review our lives at this point and rid ourselves of what is useless, then we won’t be open to new growth and new opportunities. She also forces us to accept that we have now reached a point in our lives where can handle this type of process and learn from it.
The checkerboard pattern on the floor reminds me that now matter how we like to rationalize things, life is sometimes black and white, right and wrong. This is what Justice forces us to see and confront. As we get older it becomes easier to lose ourselves in shades of gray, justifying what we do and how we behave. We lose the clarity and pristineness of youth, the ability to see life in simplistic terms. Justice helps us regain connection with that simplicity but to do in more mature terms and learn how to apply it in our lives in a way that will help us move forward along our path.