A blogging introvert – is that an oxymoron?

So, I am an introvert. This must be understood or nothing that follows will make sense. 🤔😉. I know I’m an introvert because unreliable, potentially invalid online testing told me so. 🤯 Actually, it’s not a surprise. My entire childhood was spent with my nose in a book and my body in the NY Public Library. I may be the only kid I know who had a fake library card. Several library books had been lost in a fire in our apartment and, rather than explain the circumstances to a librarian, I got a library card using my grandmother’s last name.

Now if you’ve met me you might think I’m extroverted because I can be quite opinionated and rarely have a problem expressing it. However, I am only comfortable doing so in a familiar environment. For example, at school (once I became comfortable), with friends and at events like Readers Studio. The shared element here is that I already have a built in support network of friends and co-conspirators who know and love, or at least tolerate, me. I tend not to do well among strangers or in unfamiliar environments. So, after completing several online versions of the Myers-Briggs Personality Inventory and being assessed as INFP by all of these different “tests”, I suppose that makes it official – I’m definitely introverted.

I am also a very private person. I tend not to like my personal business being shared hither and yon. Social media interactions often send me running while screaming “Ah, people!!!!” – like Gossamer, the hairy orange monster from Bugs Bunny. However, I obviously maintain a blog in which I share some very personal information with complete strangers. What the f*ck is wrong with me?!! Well, as it turns out, lots of things but not because of blogging. 😜 So, to further explores this matter I did what I often do – a Tarot reading.

I used the Lo Scarabeo Secret Tarot deck and asked:

  • What are the benefits of blogging for me?
  • What are the challenges?
  • What should I focus on with my blog?

I drew The Hanged Man Rx, The Sun Rx, and the 6 of Wands Rx. I know, look at all those reversals!

So my immediate response to these reversals is that this is truly all about me; about my internal processes and how I work through my own swampland of the soul. I don’t blog for others, I do it as a form of journaling; a way to explore the labyrinth within me. It helps me see things from a different perspective and in an objective manner. It also works for me because it doesn’t put me in the spotlight. I’ve never been comfortable being the center of attention or standing out in a crowd, unless it’s a familiar crowd. I do love if someone has gotten something useful from my meandering and tangents and let’s me know but I certainly would be uncomfortable being called out for it in public. Private”atta broads” work just fine for me.

I think I need to focus on the fact that this blog is a record of my struggles, victories and losses. I’m not trying to portray myself as a superhero, far from it. Sometimes I’m a little cuckoo and need to rant. Other times I’m thoughtful and pondering. Other times I’m outrage and frustrated. What ties all this together is that regardless if mindset, I find my Tarot deck a useful tool to help me process it all. And, if any of my processes help anyone else going through similar experiences then I’ll count that as a triumph!

#MessageoftheDay – Queen of Cups, Strength Rx & The Sun (#MoonGarden #Tarot)

So, it’s been a while. Like many of you I’ve gotten lost in the crazy. Between politics, health concerns and personal losses I can honestly say 2020 has been a year of major suckage so far. So to distract myself I’m rededicating myself to journaling – art, writing and bullet.

I was inspired by seeing an example of Benjamin Franklin’s daily schedule. It’s elegant and profound in it’s simplicity.

It excited me and made me want to follow his lead. I love the idea of taking time each day to focus on what good I shall do and what good have I done this day. Such a simple question and yet I already feel challenged answering it.

Ironically, many years ago I used a Franklin Covey planner and even attended a workshop designed to aid my in getting the fullest benefit from this system. I found it too boring and time intensive to suit my needs and style. It’s a shame such a simple, effective system became bloated and bogged down (well, at least I thought so).

So, anyway, to celebrate this new focus I decided to ask the Tarot what will best help me stay on course with this new goal. I drew:

My first response is to laugh because I’m a Leo sun sign so both Strength and The Sun connect with that part of me. And, as those who have followed me for a while might remember, I’m really not a big fan of the suit of Cups (I’m working on it, I’m working on it!). Considering these three as a whole I think the key for me will be following my heart and nurturing my emotional side. That will help me take the inner beast that can be easily distracted and become resistant and unpleasant. Once I’ve embraced and bonded with that inner wildness and feralness, I’ll be able to shine and feel accomplished and victorious.

Well, that’s my take on it. Now I’ll see if I can achieve this goal.

#TarotfromtheDarkSide – December 2018 Dark Moon Spread (#BohemianGothic)

What is revealed in the darkness this month?

How can I best work with this energy?

What must I be cautious about during this time?

What serves me about this energy?

Wow, this is very interesting to me. I have been thinking about focusing some of my blog posts on the dark side of Tarot and the human psyche in general, hence the #TarotAfterDark. This reading certainly seems to support this idea.

The reversed 5 of Wands suggests that it’s time to put my creative struggles behind me. I’ve found my niche and now I need to begin exploring it further. All those ghostly self-doubts and inner critic can’t hold me back anymore. It’s time to move beyond those spectral annoyances and explore my new domain.

The Sun – how ironic! I’m in my natural element in the dark; it’s my native milieu. I am a Leo sun sign so this card is even more appropriate and impactful. I have always connected more with solar energies than lunar ones and yet I am also drawn to the darker side of human nature. I love exploring the darkness. I even pursued a masters degree in forensic psychology because I wanted to learn what contributes to some of the less pleasant, more horrific elements of human nature and behavior. Maybe this focus will be my platform to share some of my explorations with other interested parties.

The Queen of Pentacles nudges me to be careful about continuing to care for myself; nurturing my creative energies and manifesting them in ways that don’t exhaust me. I sometimes jump into the deep end and don’t consider long term ramifications or burning out. I think the Queen of Pentacles reminds me to go slowly; be practical about how often I can post and how often I want to post. I want this to be fun and enjoyable not become one more fucking thing I gotta do.

The Star reminds me that this is a way to re-energize my connection to Tarot; an opportunity to further explore the relationship between Tarot cards and the human psyche. The Star also gives me hope that this is doable and may even be another tool in my healing journey. Perhaps (if this isn’t too arrogant) this work will allow me to be a beacon in the dark for others who feel overwhelmed or lost.

Who knows, this may turn out to be totally inaccurate but it makes me feel hopeful and excited and maybe at the end of the day that’s more important.

#TarotDaily – 6 of Pentacles Rx + 2 of Swords Rx (#TrickorTreat)

How are you honoring your true self?

 

I’m honoring my true self by conserving my resources; not giving go much of myself away. At the same time I’m learning to value myself and what I bring to the table. Instead of treating my gifts and knowledge as worthless, I’m beginning to appreciate how worthwhile they truly are.

I’m learning to see within myself more clearly and in a more balanced way. I still have biases and preconceived notions that skew my view but I’m more aware of them. It’s still a struggle but I’m more willing to fight the good fight so that I can honor and value my true self.

#TarotDaily – The Fool + Ace of Swords Rx +#TrickorTreat)

What is an accomplishment you need to celebrate?

This question ties in beautifully with yesterday’s. Now that I realize I need to stop undervaluing myself I can consider what I need to celebrate about myself.

Clearly I’m not afraid to look foolish, to take a leap of faith. This was not always the case. It took me a long time to learn to laugh at myself and not take myself so seriously. On the positive side, if I am interested in pursuing something I rarely let fear or self-doubt hold me back. For example, I had no problem returning to college for a master’s in public administration when I was in my forties. I wanted to get the degree so I did it. Having said that, I’m also very comfortable with my skills and knowledge as it pertains to the academic realm. Which brings us to the reversed Ace of Swords.

The reversed Ace of Swords reminds me that I can be too cerebral and get lost in my own head. I have a proclivity towards researching something to death before actively pursuing it. This allows me to bog myself down in so much detail and research that I never actually start anything. I’m very good at studying and a little weak on application.

So, I think these cards are reminding me that I can take a leap of faith; I’m not afraid to start something new. I just have to be careful not to get so lost in my own head researching that I don’t take actual steps to pursuing these new interests.

#TarotDaily – 10 of Stakes Rx + The Daughter Rx (Sacred Bridges)

TarotHunter’s Salt Rounds:

  • All the nails are falling out of what you’ve built. You hoped your accomplishments would gain you the recognition you desire but instead you feel young, inexperienced and like a failure. Learn from this experience and don’t let it hold you back.
  • This entire process has been internal for you; you finally feel able to move on and can accept that your achievements may never generate public acclaim or recognition. Instead you move towards accepting that idea that internal validation may be the only kind you are likely to get.
  • You’re trying to resist the inevitable, avoid what comes next, but doing so only prolongs the pain and prevents moving forward. Right now you may feel like you have been exposed as incompetent instead of praised for your skill. That sucks but the only way to get to the other side is to keep moving. It’s time to quickly rip off the bandage, doing it slowly drags things out and doesn’t actually reduce the pain.

Blue Rose Sun

Blue Rose Sun

Blue Rose Tarot
Created by Paula Gibby
Published by Soul Guidance

The Book says: Traditional meanings  – Principle of unity in spirit; experiencing a time of rekindled enthusiasm. Revitalizing something that has previously existed in your life. Joy, happiness and a great sense of the beauty of life. Clarity. Signifies the transit from the manifest light of this world to the light of the world to come. Law of radiance. Abundant joy.

TarotBroad’s Buzz: The young girl holding the pineapple gives a sense of the joy of youth and new possibilities. She holds the faceted pineapple and each facet can serve as a reminder of the potential and possibilities. She reminds us that each of us possess a crystal pineapple – with hundreds of possible opportunities to sparkle and shine. Maybe she is offering us a chance to explore new possibilities and expand our wings. The rainbows and sun shining overhead give a sense of joy, well-being and happiness.

The overwhelming message from this card is one of celebration and exuberance; a chance for a new start and new pathways to explore. But is also shows that once the sun has shone on our lives, there is no more room for self-deception and hiding from the truth. The sun shines its light into all corners of our lives, waking up whatever shadows may have survived our journey through the lunar landscape. And perhaps we first need to come to grips with our deep, intuitive and inner nature before we will be ready to enter the brilliance of the solar world. It will burn away whatever we need to drop by the wayside and release in order to continue our journey. Just as the sun can wither crops if it shines too brightly and too long, so it can wither things which we no longer need or use. This can be beneficial or negative, depending upon focus and needs. So, as Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm sang on the Flintstones, “open up your heart and let the sun shine in“.

Transformational Sun

Transformational Sun

Transformational Tarot
Created by by Arnell Ando
Published by US Games (2006)
ISBN:1572815396

The Book says: Powerful energy that gives a source of strength. It brightens surrounding cards bringing a sense of optimism. A time of growth and rekindled enthusiasm. Achievements acknowledged, success, happiness and true friends. Celebration. A deepening of one’s awareness. A time of creativity.
Reversed: The card warns of one being blinded by ambition and experiencing a possible burnout.

TarotBroad’s Buzz: There is a sense of sweetness and comfort from this card. The children roam in the garden, unafraid and joyful in their surroundings. The sunflowers bloom offering beauty, hope and warmth to the day. The solar father overhead watches his children and guards them from harm. This card brings to mind a time of innocence and youthful energy, or potential and possibilities. Each sunflower represents a possible choice. The children wandering the garden have the opportunity to select whichever one they desire. They are like the newly ripened fruit bursting with seeds just waiting to be planted. Their energy, nourishment and guidance comes from the blessings and support of the solar father. The children also represent the future and a new day dawning. Right now they are carefree and playful, learning the lessons of life. But eventually their day in the sun will come and they will become the leaders and the parents, guarding and protecting the seeds of the next generation.

Mansions of the Moon Sun

Mansions of the Moon Sun

Mansions of the Moon Tarot
ZADOK (dahogue@nctc.net)
Self-Published

The LWB says: The Sun represents the dynamic, vital energy of the true self. The symbolism of this energy is the inner child – that embodies innocence, enthusiasm, and joy.

TarotBroad’s Buzz: This card radiates energy and joy, exuberance and growth. The sense of joy the emanates from the horse and the flowers is almost palpable. This card reminds me of the song Here Comes the Sun, especially the line “it seems the ice is slowly melting. Little darling it seems like years since it’s been here” Perhaps the figures are celebrating the return of the sun after being held in the darkness of the lunar landscape. We have survived facing our inner shadow and grown more comfortable and confident with our intuitional nature. And now is our opportunity to celebrate this new sense of wholeness and integration.

Then again the sun can sometimes represents the face we show to the world – the mask we put on when dealing with others. If the moon is our inner selves the sun is our outer selves. In this card our outer self is having a marvelous time just celebrating being alive. We are like flowers reaching for the warming, nourishing rays of the sun. It also a reminder that after the darkness comes the light; after night comes the day. So no matter how dark or frightening our lunar experience may have we know a new day is dawning and we will have a chance to start over again. Of course sometimes the rays of the sun can be harsh too – revealing things we might prefer to remain hidden. But allowing things to remain in the darkness may prevent us from learning and growing. To me The Sun is a card of growth, radiance, new beginnings, illumination and joy.