I couldn’t think of what I wanted to focus on in my reading this week so I decided to pull a card from The Shining Tribe Tarot and create some questions based on the energies of the card. I drew the Speaker of Stones Rx, and developed these questions.
How can I unburden myself of some of the obligations & responsibilities I now carry? The Chariot Rx
What blocks me from manifesting the reality I desire? 2 of Trees Rx
What advice can the Speaker of Stones offer? The Sun Rx
The way I can unburden myself, according to The Chariot Rx, is to start taking charge of the direction my life is taking; advocate for myself. This card reminds me that, despite the protestations otherwise, the people involved in finding placement for my brother-in-law do not have my best interests at heart. Once again, to be fair to them, that’s not their job. So I need to take a stand, pick up the reins, and make sure that I’m moving my life in the direction that I want. If I keep waiting for them to make the necessary changes, I’m going to be stuck in stasis for a long time.
The 2 of Trees Rx reminds me of previous messages I’ve received indicating that I need to start building a team to help me. I need to find sympathetic collaborators to aid me in resolving this current situation. That’s the only way I will be able to manifest the future and reality I desire.
The Speaker of Stones reminds me, once again, that I need to change things if I want to have my day in The Sun. I have all the potential necessary to be able to shine, and have opportunities for success and achievement. I can’t manifest them right now because my reality is so limited and I’m still buried under my obligations. I feel rather like a seed that’s too far beneath the Earth, and can’t feel the sun’s rays. The only way I can change that is to start digging myself out from under it.
Overall, I think this reading shows that the possibilities are there, the potential exists, for me to take the steps necessary to release my burdens. However in order to do this I need to take action and not wait for things to happen on their own timetable. The truth of the matter is no one is going to save me from this but me.
Last week’s left me wondering how I could follow the message of the Page of Cups – taking better care of myself listening to my inner self. So I decided this week that would be the focus of my question. I kind of loosely envisioned the positions as Body, Mind and Spirit, but I wasn’t focused on those positions when I pulled the cards. Of course, as is so often the case in my relationship with Tarot and this deck in particular, I didn’t need to focus on positions to get the message I needed to hear.
The first thing that struck me about all three of these cards that they’re female, which I love. It makes it that much more personal for me. Two of these women are entirely nude, which reminds me that the best way to actually make myself a priority is to be completely honest with myself; to bare my soul, no matter how frightening that might seem. The figure in the final card wears a very revealing dress which suggests she is in the process of baring herself in order to move on to the next level.
The World reminds me that it’s time to make my physical health a priority; to make it the center of my focus. For many years my own health and physical needs have been put on a back burner and I’ve suffered the consequences of that choice. If I want to move forward from a place of health and wellness, I need to focus on eating well and being more physically active. I want to get to a place where I’m as proud of my physical self as the woman on this card.
The Sun, a card for which my Leo Sun has a strong affinity, shows me that my mindset also needs a shift so that once again I understand that it’s okay to make myself a priority. To move forward with a healthy mindset, and let go of the guilt and responsibility that have been holding me down for the last few years, I need to accept that it’s my time to shine; my time to be in the Sun. It’s okay to shine and not hide my light because I might be worried about other people will think. The Sun also reminds me that it’s okay to be warmed by the recognition and praise of others. I’m often very resistant to compliments. The Sun reminds me that there’s nothing wrong with having one’s achievements recognized.
The 10 of Swords suggest that this might be the most challenging part of my journey, the one I struggle with the hardest. At the same time, it may be the most achievable because it’s the one requiring the most practical steps. This will require me to face all those inner demons and slay them; to make my own journey into the darkness of my soul like Inanna. I have a feeling it’s going to be like lancing a boil or removing a splinter – initially painful, but ultimately necessary to allow healing.
Overall I find this reading very positive and a reminder that many of the things I’m struggling with right now can be changed by a shifting of mindset and being more positive and gentle with myself. Pounding myself into submission isn’t the answer to this situation. It requires a more subtle, sharp, Swords approach rather than my usual blunt, Wands approach. If I can follow the advice of this reading I think it will produce a hugely positive outcome which will produce long term, life changing benefits.
The root of the matter, what you need to do to keep both your feet on the ground? 5 of Swords
Career, attitudes about work – are you following your heart’s desire or just surviving? Page of Swords Rx
Finances, attitudes about money – Money is energy; is your energy blocked or does it flow freely? Queen of Swords Rx
Connections and sharing – how do you let your guard down to share with others? The Star
Health & healing; how do you nurture & care for yourself? The Sun
First harvest you have planted, the garden and the seeds of your life – What are you reaping for yourself based on your attitudes and behaviors? What are you harvesting? 8 of Pentacles
Fruition achievements maturation fulfillment satisfaction success – what are you thankful for? Life Renewed (Judgement)
The figure on the Five of Swords is fierce and determined. She looks like she’s going into battle convinced of the rightness of her cause and that others will follow her. In the context of this reading, I think she reflects that fighting for our truth, fighting for what we believe in, fighting for our ideals can help keep us grounded. The world is a very scary place right now and it’s easy to get overwhelmed by what’s going on. I think the Five of Swords shows that defending what we believe in gives us purpose. The unfortunate flip side to this is that those who disagree with us will be equally vehement in defending their beliefs and ideals. Sometimes, that’s the way it goes.
The reverse Page of Swords suggested right now might be a time to reassess what you’re doing on a professional level. Something isn’t sitting right for you at the moment. Perhaps you just don’t believe in the value of your job the way you once did. You’ve lost your sense of purpose. In the context of this spread it suggests that you’re letting the logical path (staying in a job you may no longer be passionate about because it’s a secure income) outweigh your desire to feel committed to your work; to feel that it has meaning and value.
The reverse Queen of Swords shows that right now your energy is blocked, especially as it pertains to finances. If we connect this to the Page of Swords reversed, perhaps this Queen is reflecting that you’re blocked because, although you’re getting paid, your current job not nurturing your inner self; it’s not allowing you to live up to your ideals and your beliefs. If that is one of your core values, then this might be an area that you address so all that blocked energy can be freed.
The Star reflects the hopefulness and trust we might need to bring to connecting with others. Let’s face it any relationship requires a certain amount of faith because we open ourselves up to others as reflected by the childlike figure on this card. That also leaves us vulnerable to being hurt and betrayed. What The Star shows us is that even if this is the case, hope will remain as a light in the darkness to guide us through it. As many public service announcements remind LGBTQ+ youth, it will get better. In this reading, I think The Star reminds us that if we close ourselves off to meeting new people, to exploring relationships with those that seem unfamiliar or have different viewpoints, we risk becoming isolated and rigid.
This was an interesting card in this position. The Sun is usually symbolic of celebrating ourselves and embracing our successes but in this case it’s reversed. I think that’s telling us that we can’t celebrate ourselves and embrace our achievements until we can value ourselves. Perhaps this ties in with the reversed Page and Queen in terms of one’s attitude towards their career and money. If someone sticks to a job they detest in order to maintain a secure income it might impact their self-esteem and sense of self; cause untold levels of stress that negatively impact one’s health. It’s hard to celebrate yourself and acknowledge achievements if these things have no value to you because they’re in a field that you no longer find fulfilling. So maybe the key to unblocking this energy is free the stuck energy reflected in positions 2 and 3.
The 8 of Pentacles is a reminder that we get out of this life what we put into it. If we continue forcing ourselves to pursue a path that no longer brings a satisfaction it’s going to impact our relationships, our health our sense of self. I love the energy reflected in this card because it seems a perfect melding of Earth and fire; of the physical and the energetic; of money and career. In order to get to this place perhaps we need to look at the other blocked areas and get them unstuck.
Life Renewed reminds us that there is a way out of the darkness. We can emerge from all this blocked energy filled with dissatisfaction and self doubt by changing our mindset. We need to reassess and reevaluate what we’re doing and see if it’s providing the benefit we desired. We don’t always have to work at a job that is our hearts desire as long as it fulfills a need and only you can decide what that need truly is. The important thing is to recognize whether you’re feeling trapped by the situation and if so what can you do to change it because only you can lead yourself out of the shadows and into the light.
The three Swords cards at the core of this reading suggest that healing this situation is going to depend upon changing our perspective and mindset. We need to communicate more effectively with ourselves and listen to our inner voice. We might also find it useful to communicate more effectively with others in our lives so they understand our thoughts about a situation and whether we are truly satisfied and fulfilled. And if not, what they can do, if anything, to help us change it. It’s useful to remember that others in our lives cannot read our minds. If we don’t tell them what we’re thinking, we can’t become upset when they don’t fulfill our needs.
So, I am an introvert. This must be understood or nothing that follows will make sense. 🤔😉. I know I’m an introvert because unreliable, potentially invalid online testing told me so. 🤯 Actually, it’s not a surprise. My entire childhood was spent with my nose in a book and my body in the NY Public Library. I may be the only kid I know who had a fake library card. Several library books had been lost in a fire in our apartment and, rather than explain the circumstances to a librarian, I got a library card using my grandmother’s last name.
Now if you’ve met me you might think I’m extroverted because I can be quite opinionated and rarely have a problem expressing it. However, I am only comfortable doing so in a familiar environment. For example, at school (once I became comfortable), with friends and at events like Readers Studio. The shared element here is that I already have a built in support network of friends and co-conspirators who know and love, or at least tolerate, me. I tend not to do well among strangers or in unfamiliar environments. So, after completing several online versions of the Myers-Briggs Personality Inventory and being assessed as INFP by all of these different “tests”, I suppose that makes it official – I’m definitely introverted.
I am also a very private person. I tend not to like my personal business being shared hither and yon. Social media interactions often send me running while screaming “Ah, people!!!!” – like Gossamer, the hairy orange monster from Bugs Bunny. However, I obviously maintain a blog in which I share some very personal information with complete strangers. What the f*ck is wrong with me?!! Well, as it turns out, lots of things but not because of blogging. 😜 So, to further explores this matter I did what I often do – a Tarot reading.
I used the Lo Scarabeo Secret Tarot deck and asked:
What are the benefits of blogging for me?
What are the challenges?
What should I focus on with my blog?
I drew The Hanged Man Rx, The Sun Rx, and the 6 of Wands Rx. I know, look at all those reversals!
So my immediate response to these reversals is that this is truly all about me; about my internal processes and how I work through my own swampland of the soul. I don’t blog for others, I do it as a form of journaling; a way to explore the labyrinth within me. It helps me see things from a different perspective and in an objective manner. It also works for me because it doesn’t put me in the spotlight. I’ve never been comfortable being the center of attention or standing out in a crowd, unless it’s a familiar crowd. I do love if someone has gotten something useful from my meandering and tangents and let’s me know but I certainly would be uncomfortable being called out for it in public. Private”atta broads” work just fine for me.
I think I need to focus on the fact that this blog is a record of my struggles, victories and losses. I’m not trying to portray myself as a superhero, far from it. Sometimes I’m a little cuckoo and need to rant. Other times I’m thoughtful and pondering. Other times I’m outrage and frustrated. What ties all this together is that regardless if mindset, I find my Tarot deck a useful tool to help me process it all. And, if any of my processes help anyone else going through similar experiences then I’ll count that as a triumph!
So, it’s been a while. Like many of you I’ve gotten lost in the crazy. Between politics, health concerns and personal losses I can honestly say 2020 has been a year of major suckage so far. So to distract myself I’m rededicating myself to journaling – art, writing and bullet.
I was inspired by seeing an example of Benjamin Franklin’s daily schedule. It’s elegant and profound in it’s simplicity.
It excited me and made me want to follow his lead. I love the idea of taking time each day to focus on what good I shall do and what good have I done this day. Such a simple question and yet I already feel challenged answering it.
Ironically, many years ago I used a Franklin Covey planner and even attended a workshop designed to aid my in getting the fullest benefit from this system. I found it too boring and time intensive to suit my needs and style. It’s a shame such a simple, effective system became bloated and bogged down (well, at least I thought so).
So, anyway, to celebrate this new focus I decided to ask the Tarot what will best help me stay on course with this new goal. I drew:
My first response is to laugh because I’m a Leo sun sign so both Strength and The Sun connect with that part of me. And, as those who have followed me for a while might remember, I’m really not a big fan of the suit of Cups (I’m working on it, I’m working on it!). Considering these three as a whole I think the key for me will be following my heart and nurturing my emotional side. That will help me take the inner beast that can be easily distracted and become resistant and unpleasant. Once I’ve embraced and bonded with that inner wildness and feralness, I’ll be able to shine and feel accomplished and victorious.
Well, that’s my take on it. Now I’ll see if I can achieve this goal.
Wow, this is very interesting to me. I have been thinking about focusing some of my blog posts on the dark side of Tarot and the human psyche in general, hence the #TarotAfterDark. This reading certainly seems to support this idea.
The reversed 5 of Wands suggests that it’s time to put my creative struggles behind me. I’ve found my niche and now I need to begin exploring it further. All those ghostly self-doubts and inner critic can’t hold me back anymore. It’s time to move beyond those spectral annoyances and explore my new domain.
The Sun – how ironic! I’m in my natural element in the dark; it’s my native milieu. I am a Leo sun sign so this card is even more appropriate and impactful. I have always connected more with solar energies than lunar ones and yet I am also drawn to the darker side of human nature. I love exploring the darkness. I even pursued a masters degree in forensic psychology because I wanted to learn what contributes to some of the less pleasant, more horrific elements of human nature and behavior. Maybe this focus will be my platform to share some of my explorations with other interested parties.
The Queen of Pentacles nudges me to be careful about continuing to care for myself; nurturing my creative energies and manifesting them in ways that don’t exhaust me. I sometimes jump into the deep end and don’t consider long term ramifications or burning out. I think the Queen of Pentacles reminds me to go slowly; be practical about how often I can post and how often I want to post. I want this to be fun and enjoyable not become one more fucking thing I gotta do.
The Star reminds me that this is a way to re-energize my connection to Tarot; an opportunity to further explore the relationship between Tarot cards and the human psyche. The Star also gives me hope that this is doable and may even be another tool in my healing journey. Perhaps (if this isn’t too arrogant) this work will allow me to be a beacon in the dark for others who feel overwhelmed or lost.
Who knows, this may turn out to be totally inaccurate but it makes me feel hopeful and excited and maybe at the end of the day that’s more important.
I’m honoring my true self by conserving my resources; not giving go much of myself away. At the same time I’m learning to value myself and what I bring to the table. Instead of treating my gifts and knowledge as worthless, I’m beginning to appreciate how worthwhile they truly are.
I’m learning to see within myself more clearly and in a more balanced way. I still have biases and preconceived notions that skew my view but I’m more aware of them. It’s still a struggle but I’m more willing to fight the good fight so that I can honor and value my true self.
This question ties in beautifully with yesterday’s. Now that I realize I need to stop undervaluing myself I can consider what I need to celebrate about myself.
Clearly I’m not afraid to look foolish, to take a leap of faith. This was not always the case. It took me a long time to learn to laugh at myself and not take myself so seriously. On the positive side, if I am interested in pursuing something I rarely let fear or self-doubt hold me back. For example, I had no problem returning to college for a master’s in public administration when I was in my forties. I wanted to get the degree so I did it. Having said that, I’m also very comfortable with my skills and knowledge as it pertains to the academic realm. Which brings us to the reversed Ace of Swords.
The reversed Ace of Swords reminds me that I can be too cerebral and get lost in my own head. I have a proclivity towards researching something to death before actively pursuing it. This allows me to bog myself down in so much detail and research that I never actually start anything. I’m very good at studying and a little weak on application.
So, I think these cards are reminding me that I can take a leap of faith; I’m not afraid to start something new. I just have to be careful not to get so lost in my own head researching that I don’t take actual steps to pursuing these new interests.
All the nails are falling out of what you’ve built. You hoped your accomplishments would gain you the recognition you desire but instead you feel young, inexperienced and like a failure. Learn from this experience and don’t let it hold you back.
This entire process has been internal for you; you finally feel able to move on and can accept that your achievements may never generate public acclaim or recognition. Instead you move towards accepting that idea that internal validation may be the only kind you are likely to get.
You’re trying to resist the inevitable, avoid what comes next, but doing so only prolongs the pain and prevents moving forward. Right now you may feel like you have been exposed as incompetent instead of praised for your skill. That sucks but the only way to get to the other side is to keep moving. It’s time to quickly rip off the bandage, doing it slowly drags things out and doesn’t actually reduce the pain.