Am I a hollow husk with no magic left in me?

Fairy Lights 4 of Cups Fairy Lights 7 of Cups Fairy Lights Sun

 

How can I remove the mask? 4 of Cups
What am afraid will be revealed? 7 of Cups R
What will guide me onward? The Sun R

Hmm, I wasn’t sure what to make of this at first. How could the 4 of Cups helps me remove these masks? I thought about it a bit and realized that the first step is to break free of the ennui this card often symbolizes. Looking at the Fairy Lights 4 of Cups I was struck by the 4 little wings critters that seemed to be flitting around eying the orb that hovers nearby. They are curious but seem afraid of reluctant to approach it. That pretty much sums up my attitude towards removing the masks – I’m afraid of what I’ll find beneath. What if there is no “real me” left after I take off these masks? What if I am left with a skeleton or worse yet nothing? Of course the reality is that even with the masks that would still lie beneath. Instead of letting myself be paralyzed with uncertainty I might as well make a move and just do it.

The 7 of Cups reversed suggests that what I’m afraid will be revealed is someone whose choices and magic have left the building. Looking at the young woman and hooded figure on this card with the lights floating towards the sky made me thing of a magical, mystical person offering the young woman a gift. Whether she will accept this gift or not is unclear but in my case I think the fear is that I have no gifts left to offer. I’m a hollow husk here because I’ve been put in place and just don’t know where to go next. Or maybe this card is showing me that I don’t need to offer my gifts to others anymore; no more casting pearls before swine. I’m viewing this in the context of working outside the home. Perhaps in the past I’ve allowed my need for approval and praise to lead me into situations that resulted in my talents being squandered and unappreciated. Perhaps I was like a child who desperately desires friends and so tries to buy them rather than believing she will eventually find people who will like her for herself.

The Sun reversed is reinforcing this message to a degree. It’s a reminder that for much of my life I only felt that I truly shines when I received external validation. My locus of control and self-worth was located without. In order to move forward I need to develop skills to relocated that locus of approval, self-wroth and control within myself. I think that is what I’m finding most difficult about being a caretaker – there is no one around to give you any “atta girls”. Family and friends are supportive, reassuring and certainly give me positive reinforcement. But the two people for whom I care can’t provide that. They have no ability to give me feedback or compliments. Their love is the only compliment they have to offer. I appreciate that love and affection but it’s so alien to my usual modus operandi that it’s taking a lot of adjustment.

Lots of ideas to ponder and perspectives to adjust on my part.

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