The Tower reversed speaks to me on two levels.  According to the LWB, when reversed The Tower symbolizes “trying to avoid something by denial or delay leading to increased turmoil”.  Yeah, that sounds about right.  I’m a world class procrastinator even when I know it’s pointless and self-defeating.  The Tower is telling me that this tactic is pointless and making the situation worse than it needs to be.  It is also reminding me that I am blowing things out of proportion and making this a bigger deal than it needs to be.  Instead of trying to fight off the inevitable I need to find ways to make the changes I know are necessary to achieve this goal.

The 4 of Cups reversed suggests”wallowing in ennui or self-pity”.  Once again a direct hit right on the nose.  I have felt enveloped in ennui lately and the pity party has been never-ending.  It’s not that I don’t have some legitimate reason for the pity party but I’m boring myself.  Whining about it won’t change anything and just exhausts me.

At the same time I need to acknowledge that I have a right to be frustrated and angry about things.  Getting stuck in that frustrating and anger and allowing it to push me into unhealthy behavior is pointless.  All it does is make me feel physically and mentally crappy which just adds to the unhappiness.

I know that I have a strong addiction for sweets and carbs.  I also know that I feel infinitely better when I don’t give in to these cravings.  I have found substitutions that might satisfy these cravings and allow me to feel healthier but I’ve been putting off actually making any of them.  I need to stop making this into a project and just do it.  One thing at a time, one change at a time is all it will take to improve this situation.  It’s time to stop wallowing in the ennui.