That companion book for this deck describes the 8 of Cups being about trusting  your instincts and not letting logic brain distract you from continuing your journey.  For me I think this cards message is that I’m not there yet.  I’m still working on trusting my instincts and intuition.  I’ve gotten better over the last few years but I still have a ways to go.  A friend offered that perhaps there was some issue I still hadn’t been able to let go and leave behind and that is holding me back.  That certainly makes sense but right now I’m not seeing what that might be.

The Ace of Pentacles, my little hedgehog, has decided to show up again.  Once again he serves as a reminder that the quieter, less visible path to creating new wealth and manifesting a new life can be just as powerful as roaring in the sun.  He also points his little nose towards the figure in the 8 of Cups so he is suggesting that whatever that represents is the key to moving forward in a new career and finding new prosperity.

I was still unclear about the message of this card so I pull a clarifier and received The Magician.  He looks like a youthful, self-indulgently sexy Sirius Black.  He is a figure of promise and power, magic and manifestation.  He bares his chest to show that the way to my heart’s desire is control and will.  If I will it to be so and am willing to exert the self-control necessary to focus my energies and channel them, I can make things happen.

This card initially just confused me more.  I wasn’t getting the message until I laid the cards side by side.  Then I realized the man on the reversed 8 of Cups is looking behind him, the hedgehog on the reversed Ace of Pentacles is looking towards the 8 of Cups and The Magician is looking directly at me.  If I read them together they tell me “stop looking behind you, let go of past success and wealth.  The future is in your heart and will”.  Okay, that might not be so earth-shattering but at least I’m starting to get it.  What remains unexplored is the past and how it might still be impacting me.

In many ways I’ve worked through some of it but I used to think that I’ll never fully forgive or forget.  However if I want to thrive and triumph I need to find the path to do both those things.  In order to put the hurt and pain behind me and free myself for potential prosperity, I need to accept and embrace those experiences.  They helped make me who I am today and even if they were unfair, biased and not based on any professional lack on my part.  None of that matters.  I had given so much of myself to that job that it tore my heart out when I was fired.  Intellectually I understand that it was driven by personality issues between “he who must be obeyed” and me.  In my heart I just feel hurt and betrayed, like a little kid left out of the game.  The only way I can truly lose in this situation is if I let it keep me down.  Screw that!  I won’t let anyone else do that to me and I won’t do it to myself either.