This is the second day in a row I’ve drawn a swords card and the third time this month; and two have been reversed.  I think this is a message that I need to stop living in my head, intellectualizing and relying on book knowledge over my own inner knowledge.  I’ve always been more comfortable with book knowledge because it seems more reliable, more authentic somehow and it’s certainly more objective and less subject to being “wrong”.  For most of my life I’ve had a horror of being wrong and focusing my energies on expressing myself in a swords-like manner has helped me avoid that.  If I can quote precedents, articles, research and other academic materials then I can’t be “wrong”.  I might have misinterpreted data but that doesn’t carry the same emotional punch for me.

The King of Swords – in fact all the Swords court, have served me well in my professional and academic life.  Balanced by my Wands nature, I’ve been able to at least be viewed by others as warm and funny and not overly pompous and intolerable.  However when it comes to reading Tarot cards and working with people in that capacity, then my know-it-all approach fails miserably.  People want someone who can be sympathetic and help them work though their issues not learn the history of Tarot cards.  Okay, I’m exaggerating a bit – I don’t tell querents the history of the cards but I probably do give them a bit more info about their meanings than they really want to know.  I know this is because my inner critic kicks in and I get nervous and scared.  I need to learn to trust my instincts and let them tell me what the querent needs to hear rather than pontificating on the meanings of the cars.  It’s like explaining how to conjugate verbs in Spanish rather than telling somehow how to say a phrase in Spanish.  It’s not that either is wrong but it depends upon what the person seeking the information wants.

So I think what I’ve been ignoring is the fact that the King of Swords part of my nature is helpful and useful but I need to be more judicious in how I express it.  The King of Swords might be appropriate to manifest in academic or professional settings but when I’m working with peoples’ emotional issues and life challenges then I think it’s time for a judicious combination of my inner Queens of Wands and Cups with a bit of the Queens of Pentacles and Swords thrown in. for balance.  My pattern has been a bit unbalanced with a preponderance of Swords and a touch of Wands.  It’s time to realign myself and find my way to express my Queen of Cups.  I also need to accept that it will be different than how others express it.  At my core I will always be more at home and comfortable with Wands and Swords energy but I have come to appreciate my Pentacles and Cups nature as well.  Now is time to let the King of Swords take a bit of a vacation and let my other aspects shine.