Ironically enough as soon as I saw The Magician turn up reversed, my initial response was that I can’t situations and people bend to my will. I can’t make them obey my commands. It just doesn’t work that way. After yesterday’s arguments with the hubby, I realized that sometimes my approach to those type situations does not yield the desired results. I may be able to control certain factors in my life but other people do not tend to be one of them.
On the other hand, I can certainly control how I react and my approach to dealing with such situations. Looking at The Magus from the Gendron Tarot I was struck by how radiant and brilliant she appears. She calls to me in a way the High Priestess never has because she seems active and assertive; taking control of the situation and manipulating it to her desires. Of course here she has appeared reversed which suggests that either she cannot control or manipulate this situation or that what needs to be controlled or manipulated is an internal process or attitude. Considering how things have been going for me lately, I’m going for the later option.
So then what internal processes or attitudes do I need to control? There are a few selections that immediately come to mind. The first is my self-defeating attitude, the second is my aggressive approach to interpersonal relationships and the third (although by not means the last) is how I react first and think later. The self-defeating attitude is the one that I’m most concerned with right now simply because it is negatively impacting my ability to get started on my professional pursuits. If I had a magic wand, I’d wave it over myself to just whisk it all away. Of course reality is never quite that simple or easy. So I have to do the work. The first step would be to actually listen to all these damn marketing and business related podcasts I have. I seem to be collecting them at a rapid pace but not actually using them. Of course I also have to be careful not to fall into my usual pattern of paralyzing myself through over-intellectualizing the process. Some things I can learn from tapes or books or the advice of others but much of it has to be learned by simply doing it. Experience is the best teacher and it’s a teacher I’ve been avoiding like the plague.
The other two things are basically two halves of one whole. Instead of being so aggressive and assertive all the time, it might benefit me to learn how to temper my responses to things. What I need to control and manipulate is my own responses to aggravating situations. Sometimes I think that I can argue things back to normal but all that accomplishes is fanning the flames of the fire. In reality it’s a nonsensical approach but the truth is that a rational response to ridiculous circumstances is sometimes beyond me. I often think that logic will win the day when in many cases it’s the persuasiveness of the parties involved that does. When it comes to personal arguments and disagreements, it’s easy to forget that the triggering issue is often masking a deeper problem and trying to rationally and calmly discuss it in the middle of an argument rarely works – at least not for me. So these are some issues on which I need to work. Obviously we are talking about a long term project but I think I can handle it.