Tag Archives: Self-control

Week 35 – Heron’s Message (#TarotReading #ShiningTribeTarot #52WeekProject)

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The water outside my in-laws’ house is occasionally visited by a heron (well, I think it’s the same heron). According to WorldBirds.com “The heron is often used as a symbol of grace and beauty. It is not hard to see why this is upon observing the fluid movements and stunning appearance of this bird. Beyond the physical body of the heron, these birds are often found in beautiful places as well. The harmonious regions where land and sea (or pond, lake, or river) meet is the heron’s home. Thus the heron represents three essential energies which exist in perfect balance: land, water, and sky.

The calm stillness of the heron of course represents peace and serenity. On top of this, the heron’s endless patience reminds us of the importance of waiting for opportunities to appear. Timing is a difficult thing to master, but everyone could learn a thing or two from watching the heron at work!”

I decided to focus this reading on heron’s liminal nature. So I pulled a card each to represent land, sea & sky (or physical, emotional and intellectual)

  • Land/Physical Realm – Gift of Trees
  • Sea/Emotional Realm – 4 of Stones
  • Air/Intellectual Realm – Knower of Trees
Gift of Trees, 4 of Stones & Knower of Trees from The Shining Tribe Tarot

The Gift of Trees reveals I need to merge knowledge about what is best for my physical health and combine it with the wisdom to use it in ways that will best help me. I think it’s a reminder that no one else is going to take care of my health except me. I often know what I should do, but that doesn’t mean I actually do it. This card suggests it’s time to change that pattern. Healthier eating is certainly one of the key elements of making this happen.

The 4 of Stones suggests that in order to move on to the next level of my emotional journey, I need to be willing to push past my comfort zone. I need to be willing to go through the doorway and explore uncharted territory. It’s a frightening prospect because dealing with emotions has always made me feel vulnerable and exposed. This is a recurring theme for me, and Heron is once again reinforcing it.

The Knower of Trees suggests I have a core burning within me that needs to learn and think. A core I need to nurture; to continue feeding and tending. My intellectual side needs to be supported in a way that keeps my inner passion and fire for knowledge and information burning. The blooming tree or flower at the core of the figure on this card suggests that pursuit of knowledge and information is at the core of who I am. It’s what inspires me to keep moving, and keep learning. It’s what enables me to grow and bloom as a person, and I need to take care of it to ensure it does not wither and die.

Heron seems to be letting me know that it’s time to make changes in my life that will transform things in a positive healthy way. I’ve been stuck in neutral for too long; allowing things to happen to me rather than taking control and trying to steer the course of my life. Moving forward it will prove more beneficial and enjoyable for me to be more focused and moving towards goals I want to achieve rather than just drifting.

Week 22 -How do I solve a problem like EL?  (#TarotReading #SlavicLegendsTarot #52WeekProject)

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Card 1 – Positive aspects of pushing this issue?  2 of Cups Rx
Card 2 – Negative aspects of pushing this issue?  The Moon
Card 3 – Positive aspects of taking a more Stoic approach?  Page of Wands Rx
Card 4 – Negative aspects of taking a more Stoic approach?  The Devil Rx
Card 5 – How can I ensure the best possible outcome?  Queen of Wands Rx

On Friday a hearing was held to determine if my brother-in-law can be forcibly removed from this house in order for it to be sold.  The problem is that he hasn’t left the property in over 30 years.  It’s why I ended up in this position in the first place.  I can’t afford to keep the house. I certainly can’t afford the renovation that it needs and, as long as I’m stuck here taking care of him, I have no way to earn any income.  So I tried to push through the sale and the state, also known as his legal guardian, went to court to stop it.  They were successful.  The judge decided that it is not in my brother-in-law’s best interests to be forcibly removed from the home.  This leaves me with two choices:  I can either amp things up from a legal perspective, possibly hiring a lawyer of my own; or I can take a more Stoic approach and handle the things I can but accept that much of this is out of my control and just go with the flow.  Admittedly this is not my usual approach to things, but my usual approach has led to many, many months of me banging my head against concrete walls.

So I decided to pull some cards for some clarification.  Within this context, pushing the issue would mean amping up the legal proceedings and really kicking up a fuss.  Taking the more Stoic approach would mean taking a more thoughtful, grounded approach rather than my usual shoot from the hip style.

The first thing that struck me about the cards is that four out of the five of reversed.  This suggests to me that there’s a lot of blockages going on that are impacting this situation and the things will have to get turned on their head before changes will occur.  The 2 of Cups Rx as a positive aspect of pushing this issue implies to me that being aggressive will make no one happy.  Even if the sale does go through, presumably the seller and me would be happy but it’s not going to bring me the joy that I think it will.  I think The Moon reinforces this by implying that I’m deluding myself if I think that pushing this is going to produce the results that I want. 

The Page of Wands Rx suggest that the positive side of taking a more Stoic approach is that it will give me more time to focus on where I want to focus my energies once I have the freedom to do so.  The Devil Rx shows that the negative side is that I’m going to be tethered to this situation until they’re able to come up with a strategy to relocate my brother-in-law to a residential facility.  This isn’t an addiction or a choice I’ve made to commit myself so I can’t free myself right now.

The key to this entire reading for me is this final card – the Queen of Wands Rx.  I identify so much with the Queen of Wands that seeing It reversed here screams to me “you can’t resolve this issue by taking your typical shoot from the hip approach”.  This isn’t a situation that needs energetic and fiery assertiveness.  It needs subtlety and strategy. So it’s time to tap into my Capricorn Moon, and give my Leo Sun a bit of a rest.

The Hanged Man, 4 of Water & Page of Earth from the Förhäxa Tarot

As an interesting addendum to my reading, this is a reading a friend did for me regarding this issue using the Förhäxa Tarot. I think it ties in very well with my reading because it look like the figure on The Hanged Man man is being held aloft by a demon. Maybe this is The Devil’s tethering her in place because she needs to be patient and give up control of the situation. The 4 of Water speaks of having to make choices that we may find undesirable which certainly ties in with the reality of this situation right now. I’m getting so caught up in my own emotions about the situation that it’s making me frantic and I need to let it go. The Page of Earth offers what looks to me like a hopeful resolution to all of this. She offers the message that taking baby steps in a grounded and more practical way will produce the seeds of achieving my heart’s desire, which is selling this house and moving back into my own home.

So although things seem rather challenging right now, if I take time and plan a strategy, and accept that it’s not going to happen on my timetable, the situation will resolve itself in a positive way for me and my brother-in-law.

Week 5 – Judgment & Control (#TarotReading #LePsychoTarot #52WeekProject)

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This week I decided to focus on something that’s been bothering me lately. I’ve always been a rather judgmental person. Part of that is due to the fact that I’m convinced that I know better than absolutely anybody else in the world. The other part is due to a desire to help other people fix the messes in their own lives because it’s a hell of a lot easier than fixing the messes in my own. So this week I decided to focus on being judgmental and trying to control other people’s lives. This is the reading I devised.

Temperance Rx, 10 of Circles Rx & The Emperor – Le Psycho Tarot by Hurley & Horler
  • What need does being judgmental fill?
  • What drives people to want to control others’ lives?
  • How can I change these tendencies in myself?

As you can see in the image above, the cards I pulled are Temperance Rx, 10 of Circles Rx, and The Emperor. I found this to be an interesting answer in response to my query. The overall take I got from these three cards is that a lot of this is due to imbalances in our own lives and an unwillingness to take control and be responsible for ourselves. Although that might quite possibly sound pretty judgmental on my part. 🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️

So I think Temperance Rx is suggesting that we become judgmental in an effort to avoid dealing with imbalances in our own lives. Instead of forging ourselves into healthy, heartier, more holistic versions of ourselves, we project our unpleasant parts onto others. I know I often judge others poorly and see them as less because it helps me feel better about myself. So instead of building myself up, I try to accomplish the same goal by tearing others down. Instead of doing the hard work to embrace all my parts and merge them into a stronger unit; I slough it off, denying it and weakening myself. I think this is where Shadow work comes into play and can prove to be a very useful tool and fixing this particular flaw in myself.

The 10 of Circles Rx tells me that at the root of the desire to control others might be a need to maintain the status quo. I think a desire to protect our families, ourselves, our possessions, our stuff often feeds the desire to control others. I know I am often resistant to and fearful of change. It makes me feel very threatened and frightened. One way to address this fear is to try to control others to make sure that I protect my position, to keep my stuff. It took me awhile to remember that the point of this life is not accumulating stuff, it’s accumulating knowledge and experience. I lost the thread and lost sight of the fact that, in my opinion, my purpose for existing is to learn about myself, about the world, about other people. I can’t do that if I’m operating from a place of fear. As the saying goes it’s about the journey not the destination.

Seeing The Emperor in this position made me smile. It’s rather an obvious answer. The best way to change these tendencies mentioned above is to take control of my own life; to become the master of my own destiny. Instead of allowing myself to operate from a place of fear and reaction, I need to create my own game plan and move forward in order to achieve those goals and desires. Controlling others will never fix the core problem only I can do that by recognizing acknowledging and working on them myself. Other people have the right to live their lives however they choose to. It is not for me to say that their way is wrong. All I can say is that it’s the wrong way for me.

I want to focus on a more live and let live approach. As long as it doesn’t hurt anyone I think people should be free to live their lives the way that they choose, and I would hope they grant me the same courtesy. Unfortunately, there seems to be an increasing tendency towards trying to force one’s personal beliefs onto the rest of society. I have no desire to play that game. I think a lot of what we’re seeing going on these days is rooted in fear. There’s we’re always concerned about the status quo shifting, but the reality is nothing is fair about people enriching themselves at the expense and the oppression of others. {Soapbox rant ended}

#MessageoftheDay King of Wands, Magician Rx & 7 of Wands (#SecretForest Tarot)

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So, it’s day whatever the fuck of captivity (quarantine, whatever) and, as most of you probably are, my brains are so scrambled I don’t know what day it is anymore. So I decided to do something I haven’t done in a while – seek some advice, insight, clarity from Tarot.

I asked my guides/guardians for a message and pulled these cards:

I have to say at first I was a bit stymied, it’s been a while and my Tarot muscles are flabby. Looking at the images helped me see deeper. The King of Wands in this deck seems imprisoned in a tree trunk. All that energy and wisdom and knowledge is trapped and unable to be utilized; it’s potential in suspended animation.

The Magician reversed reminds us that this situation is not subject to our will; we cannot make things suit our parameters. The very nature of a virus is to mutate & change and not to bend itself to humanity’s will.  So if we cannot control our external environment we need to work on self-control.  We need to do what we can in our lives to improve the situation.

The 7 of Wands immediately made me think of those programs that show what the Earth would look like if humanity disappeared. I’m not implying that will happen any time soon however I do think things are getting pared down to their true, essential natures. All our defenses are useless. Truly good people are showing their generous, giving natures right now. Selfish, greedy people are having their inner selves exposed as well. This will prove to be a revelatory experience for many of us. We will learn more about ourselves and our neighbors, friends and family than we ever anticipated.  As a result we may become more guarded, more protective of our homes and families; not be as open as we were before.

I don’t think it took a whole lot of insight to see this but maybe that’s the lesson in this experience for of all of us. If we’re not the generous, giving people we thought we were, then how can we change this? If we find ourselves facing realities about friends and family that forever changes our perceptions of them, how do we address them going forward? I guess time will tell.

#TarotDaily – 9 of Coins + 8 of Coins (#RetrospectiveTarot)

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As I was shuffling my deck I asked where I should focus my energies today. I laughed a bit as I drew the 9 and 8 of Coins. Looking at them I was reminded of a line spoken by Mr. Spock in the classic Star Trek episode Amok Time. Mr. Spock believes he has just killed Captain Kirk in a battle over Spock’s wife T-Pring. When questioning her about her motives for demanding a challenge T-Pring explains that she was tired of being the consort of a legend and wished to be the wife of Stonn, her companion. Spock admires her logic in pursuing her goals and explains to Stonn that he may find that having is not so great a thing as wanting. This line has always stayed with me because it feels like a profound truth; something of which we all seem to lose sight. To be fair, I have always felt that Gene Roddenberry (and Rod Serling for that matter) was a genius and visionary so I shouldn’t be surprised.

As positive as the 9 of Coins is often considered to be, I often find myself thinking about becoming imprisoned by your possessions; becoming like a dragon sitting atop its hoard, unable to move forward. I have found myself falling into this scenario on quite a few occasions. I become so focused and obsessed with acquiring things that I forget to have fun with them. This has resulted in a larger than necessary collection of cookbooks, dolls and Tarot decks (I know, I know – how can one ever have to many Tarot decks?). I have learned that there comes a point when having too many things prevents you from enjoying them because you become overwhelmed.

I also think many humans are hardwired to pursue; to need goals to work towards. My hubby and I often talk about when we were kids saving money up for some toy or electronic device and how much sweeter it was to get once we’d finally saved the money. With credit cards, few people experience that anymore. It’s so easy to instantly gratify our ever whim and desire and then repent when it’s too late.

These two cards remind me to take time to “shop my closet”; to enjoy what I already own and spend less time lusting after new “pretty shinies”. As lovely as each deck might be, do I really need 5 different animal themed decks or 20 RWS variations? I own numerous decks that are lovely to look at but which don’t really speak to me. Maybe now is a good time to release them into the wild. This is my opportunity to begin working with my decks again rather than petting and gloating over them like Gollum with his “Precious”.

Am I the only one who finds herself in this situation? Somehow I doubt it. If it’s one thing I’ve learned in my years in the Tarot community it’s that we’re all collectors, acquirers and hoarders on some level. It doesn’t take much to quickly find yourself in possession of more decks than you ever dreamed possible. Online communities contribute to this by generating buzz for new decks and creating a “must have it now” mentality that often leaves us with more decks than we want, need or can use. Moving forward I plan to resist these urges and begin purging the decks I already possess so that I pare my collection down to more manageable levels. It turns out Mr. Spock was quite correct about the difference between having and wanting.

Transformational Tarot Devil

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Transformational Tarot
Created by by Arnell Ando
Published by US Games (2006) ISBN:1572815396

The Book says: Passion at it’s most primal level. Erotica and sensual pleasure. A tendency towards mischievousness. Obsession, temptation, blind impulse. Feeling out of control. Dependence upon another that can lead to misery. Self-destructive tendencies. Ignoring one’s inborn code of ethics. Lack of Balance. It may indicate an inability to trust. The seeker may be experiencing limitation in a current situation which narrow the perception of options. On the other hand this card can imply an attempt to break the chains of psychological bondage. Separation, divorce. It could also indicate pleasure in the subjugation of others: sadomasochistic tendencies.

TarotBroad’s Buzz: This is the Spider Woman, the dark lady who lures you into her web and traps you before you even realize what has happened. She seduces, entices, attracts and repels. Her confidence and aura of self-control and power is a powerful bait. She is the Black Lady of whom Cher sings (“Black Lady sang and danced and lit the candles one by one”) She is attractive and soulless. able to capture you in her web and suck all your energy, all your life force. She is the eternal vampire who takes and never gives. As Billy Joel sang “she’s so fascinating that you stand there waiting while she comes in for the kill”. If she doesn’t direct the demon’s actions then at a minimum she approves and possibly enjoys them.

She could just as easily be male. Think of the lonely hearts con man – a sociopathic charmer who can smile as he empties the bank account. This Devil is the dominatrix who teaches you to beg for her abuse; the addiction which holds you in its thrall; or the lack of self-esteem that keeps you captive in a lousy situation. But the key to overcoming this Devil is being willing to say “Stop”. We only become her victims if that is what we want. If we are finally able to wake up and see how we have become trapped then we have the potential to break free. It may no be easy or fun but it can be done. But first you have to take the initiative

Tarot Truth Tyr’s Day: The Chariot – Mansions of the Moon Tarot

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Mansions of the Moon Chariot

Mansions of the Moon
ZADOK (dahogue@nctc.net)
Self-Published

The LWP says: The rise to higher realms.

TarotBroad’s Buzz: While not the traditional Charioteer guiding (or being guided by) horses, this image shows a lovely woman riding a pair of wings. She seems to be at one with the environment around her and comfortable with where she is going. As she rises up on the wings, there is no fear or worry on her face. She appears to be calm and enjoying the experience. This card suggests that she is in control of the situation and knows where the journey will take her, or is just not concerned with the destination. She does not need to physically control the situation or impose her will. She will allow the wings to take her where she needs to go, secure in the knowledge that she is as one with her surroundings. She moves along her spiritual path with a sense of calmness and serenity. There is no need to force things to her will. She understands that her connection to the Universe and to the Divine will carry her to the correct destination.

There is a sense of giving oneself up to the journey and trusting that you are heading in the right direction. It is almost like surrendering to fate but without any sense of fatalism. This card symbolizes the need to let go of the need to control the situation and trusting in our connection to the Divine to raise us up. It reminds me of the Steve Miller song “Fly Like an Eagle” – “I want to fly like an eagle, let my spirit carry me”. The wings are her spirit carrying her to the next level of her journey. And she trusts in herself and her spirit enough to give up control and allow it to guide her.

Tarot Truth Tyr’s Day: The Mover – Celtic Wisdom Tarot

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07

Celtic Wisdom Tarot
Text by Caitlin Matthews, art by Olivia Raynor
Destiny Books, 1999
ISBN 0-89281-720-8

The Book says: This is Epona, the pan-Celtic Goddess who is matron not only of horses but of passing over and through obstacles; she is also known as the one who opens the gates of the Underworld to the dead.
Keywords: Triumph; success due to initiative and self-discipline; obstacles overcome; self-mastery; being in control of one’s ccircumstances prominence; fame or greatness; travel; speed.
Reversed: Defeat or failure; ruthlessness; success at others’ expense; loss of self-control; addictive behavior; egocentricity; things careering out of control.

TarotBroad’s Buzz: I really love this card (well to be honest I really love this deck). It is one of the gentlest expressions of the Chariot energy which I have seen. Epona is able to gentle the horses, she is connected to them on a deep, spiritual level. One gets the feeling that the relationship is not one of owner and pet but it is one of kindred spirits. Epona and her mares can gently trot around the area or they can race across the field at full gallop, manes flaring out behind them. This card is about self-control and self-expression; knowing when you need to trot and when it is time to gallop ahead.

The Chariot – Wheel of Change Tarot

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Wheel of Change Chariot

Wheel of Change Tarot
created by Alexandra Gennetti
Published by Destiny Books, 1997

The Book says: This card reminds us of the underlying patterns of our lives and how these patterns will affect the pursuit of goals. The Chariot is a card of fortune in relationships. Its appearance generally suggests that you are attaining your goals through discipline and active participation but that you may need to examine more carefully the effect of your power on others. Or perhaps you have made achievements that were in the common good and you are experiencing a collective victory. The Chariot card impels us to discover the power within ourselves not by steamrolling those around us but by using our vital energy towards solutions that are inclusive, productive, and sustainable.

TarotBroad’s Buzz: This card shows the connection between all existence and the cosmic energies that wind their way through our lives. To some extent the imagery on this card reminds more more the Wheel of Fortune than of the Chariot. Its imagery speaks of wheels and cycles. But the silhouette seems to be dancing the cosmos into existence – this certainly suggests mastery and control. But rather than it being “power over” (as Starhawk calls it) this symbolizes “power within”.

The silhouette has a twelve-spoked circle over her abdomen. And it’s lines go beyond her and connect to the other circles and other planets shining in the cosmic sky. She seems about ready to step into the stone circle and dance. Something about this card reminds me of the song “Lord of the Dance”. The figure’s exuberance and energy comes across and she exemplifies how if we are able to master and control our own energies, we can create amazing and beautiful things in our lives. At the same time we are aware of our impact on the lives and the world around us and try not to charge blindly ahead, and damn the consequences. It is balanced and controlled, while still allowing the creative energy to manifest itself in our lives.

Shadow Side Saturday: What lesson does yesterday offer? 8 of Sword R (Prague)

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Tarot of Prague 8 of Swords

Yesterday I over-indulged somewhat on wine.  Between my excitement about trying out my new accessory (a wine aerator) and the my desire to drink some of the new bottles of wine I’ve acquired., I had more to drink than was wise.  On the plus side, my new aerator is cool and does what it promises.  On the down side, I drank too much too quickly and ended up crashing and burning.  A few drinks also loosens me up and I end up calling people I haven’t spoken to in a while (this is both good and bad).  Last night I called two friends I haven’t spoken to in about a year for a variety of reasons.  It was nice to speak with them and I remember the conversations so I know I wasn’t too embarrassing but this is a nasty habit I sometimes have.  There are times when I drunk dial people and end up making a ass of myself (well a bigger ass then I might have without the influence of alcohol).  This then leads to beating myself up and castigating myself.  So I decided to ask the Tarot what lesson I can take away from this experience.

I drew the 8 of Swords reversed and looking at this bronze figure wearing a blindfold and with her hands restrained behind her back I was struck by the concept that when I drink too much I apply restraints on myself.  As a result of these chemical restraints I don’t have a clear view of my behavior and I end up becoming angry at myself because I might have done something stupid or insulting.  I end up regretting my behavior and avoiding the people I’ve called.  I also don’t have any wine for a while.  Then I end up repeating the cycle again because I feel lonely and disconnected.  It’s a ridiculous pattern and one I can easily break from if I simply exert a little sense.

So the lesson for me here is that I need to stop restraining myself and repeating this pattern.  There is nothing wrong with having a few drinks but I need to pace myself better and make sure I eat something.  I also need to accept I will call folks because there are times when I want to talk to others but I don’t need to wait until I’ve had a few drinks to do it.  Most of the people seem happy enough to hear from me.  The only thing that stops me is my own self-doubts – another self-imposed restriction.

So I need to remove the restraints and get a clearer look at the reality of the situation.  If people don’t want to talk they won’t answer the phone.  If I want to have a few glasses of wine, that’s great but I don’t need to finish the bottle.  Very simple lessons now let’s hope I can actually learn them this time.