Today my ancestors have chosen to remind me that balance is the key to my having it all. It’s the missing piece to the puzzle; the truth I hide from myself.
Of course I know this. It’s another of those truths of which I am well aware and yet continue to ignore. I willfully blind myself to it. Deliberate obtuseness is a long-standing trait of mine. My mother refers to it as being thick and, to be honest, it’s one I inherited from my ancestors. So perhaps this is also a “learn from our mistakes” kind of message.
Now that I’ve been reminded of this truth, what shall I do with it? Time will tell.
I’m honoring my true self by conserving my resources; not giving go much of myself away. At the same time I’m learning to value myself and what I bring to the table. Instead of treating my gifts and knowledge as worthless, I’m beginning to appreciate how worthwhile they truly are.
I’m learning to see within myself more clearly and in a more balanced way. I still have biases and preconceived notions that skew my view but I’m more aware of them. It’s still a struggle but I’m more willing to fight the good fight so that I can honor and value my true self.
I’m using Journaling the Tarot by Andy Matzner to come up with questions for my daily card reading. I let my Uni Tarot app randomly pull a card each day and then use that card to determine a question. Today’s card is Justice Rx so I selected this question from the options provided.
What do you need to do in order to be true to yourself?
My answer is the 6 of Wands crossed by the reversed Ace of Swords.
I need to find a challenge, a dare, a way to feel successful and appreciated. In order to achieve this I need to change my perspective; explore a new way of thinking.
Okay, that’s the abbreviated version. In Tarot Broad land that means I need to stop planning and do. Sometimes it’s too easy for me to get caught in my own head. I spend so much time thinking about and planning things that I never get around to actually doing them. The message here is to get my head out of my ass and get my ass in gear.
Of course that’s easier said than done sometimes. The reality is that there are serious limits on my mobility and flexibility, which explains why I got the Ace of Swords reversed. Clearly I need to find a new, different way of thinking about these things. I like to think of myself as unique, quirky, even a little bizarre,and yet I continue to try traditional ways of achieving my goals. I think this reading is telling me it’s time to think outside the box. Hell, it’s probably time to tear up the box all together and throw it away! Care to join me in a chorus of “I’ve got to be me”?
Your choices and decisions are based on past pain and betrayal. In order to move forward in a healthy, positive way you need to let go.
Making a decision can be challenging when it has the potential to change your course in life. Inside you’ve made your plans and have your thoughts in order, so it’s time to move to the next level.
In your heart you know the right path to choose even if it results in short term pain or others’ perceptions of betrayal. You need to do what will best help you move forward and hope any negative attitudes will be left behind.
I recently read a book entitled Ishmael written by Daniel Quinn. I had never heard of this book before and only learned about it through one of those moments of synchronicity that tend to be sprinkled throughout our lives. One afternoon while watching the TV show Hollywood Treasure (which focuses on finding and auctioning off various Hollywood related item) one of the “hosts” found an animatronic gorilla mask from the movie Instinct starring Anthony Hopkins. I looked it up on Wikipedia and learned that the movie is loosely inspired by the book Ishmael. Naturally I had to find out more about this book.
I read various reviews as well as a summary of the book and it intrigued me. The Twitter synopsis of this book might be “a man seeking to save the world finds a gorilla who plans teach him how”. To flesh it out a bit more – a cynical modern man finds and ad in a newspaper for someone seeking to save the world. He is curious and when he shows up at the address listed finds himself in a room with a glass window and a gorilla on the other side. He eventually realizes the gorilla can communicate with him telepathically. The gorilla tells the man a bit about his own history and then starts to teach him about human history. In the process the gorilla forces the man to realize that if “civilized” society continues on its current trajectory it is doomed to destruction. The gorilla also helps the man realize that there is another, more primitive path that might lead to salvation.
I found this book paradigm-shifting. It helped clarify and coalesce concepts I’ve felt about civilization that I just found difficult to express. One of the most mind-blowing concepts is that once man began to consider himself/herself as something apart from nature and not subject to natural laws, we set ourselves on a path to self-destruction. I have to say I really found this book worth reading. Granted, I was already primed to like this book because I already lean towards sharing the views expressed in this book but I still would recommend it for anyone to read if for no other reason than because I think it could be a catalyst to some amazing conversations.
I’ve read a number of reviews about this book from those that are strongly critical and strongly supportive of it. Many critics claim it is poorly written and point out that it overly simplifies things and pontificates. All of these may be valid criticisms but I find the fact that it arouses such strong emotions in people that read it, whether positive or negative, encouraging. Whether the reader agrees or disagrees with the viewpoints expressed by the author, it forces you to think. I found this was not a passive read type of book. I found myself drawn into the exercises Ishmael assigns the narrator. It made me look at the cultural myths and stories I’ve been fed about the benefits of “civilization” my entire life. I will admit that I don’t see humanity changing from its course without dramatic and forced inspiration to do so but maybe, just maybe some folks will start making changes in their own life. I can always have hope.
In my case, I think this is also a kick in the ass. There are some practical, reasonable changes I need to make in my life right now (especially pertaining to diet and health) and I’m putting it off simply because I’m being lazy and uninspired. Instead of just picking up the sword (in this case a pen) and writing down what I need to do, I’m procrastinating. I can offer dozens of reasons why this is the case but the bottom line is that I’m not focusing on the big picture; instead I’m getting lost in the here and now. The benefits from these changes won’t be apparently immediately and I’m at a point in my life where immediate gratification is winning all the battles.
So how can I convince myself to take the steps necessary and make the changes that I know will have long-term and long-lasting repercussions? This card holds the answer to that question too – one step at a time. I have to take that first step. Once I’m stable and comfortable on that first step then I can take a second step. I don’t need to climb the staircase in one move. Baby steps might be the best approach to this situation because I can allow myself to acclimatize to these changes and make sure that they last. Then I can soar with the eagles instead of running around like a chicken with my head cut off or hiding my head in the sand like an ostrich.