Tag Archives: Learning Experiences

On being an outlier

Posted on by
Reply
I’m an outlier, an outsider, an oddball. I often don’t fit in even with groups to which I feel I belong. There is just something under my skin that become itchy when I try to fit in; be part of the group. I often joke that my motto is “Whatever it is, I’m against it” (thank you, Groucho Marx). In reality, it isn’t a joke. Even when it comes to opinions and stances which I share, I can’t help but argue the opposite position if I feel too many have jumped on the bandwagon. I don’t like to feel that I’m part of the majority opinion.  As Groucho also once said, “I wouldn’t want to join a club that would have me as a member.”

I’m not sure why I am this way but I tend to put it down to my parents exhorting me when I was a child not to do things simply because everyone else did. They encouraged me to trust my own opinions and not to be a follower. I may carry this a bit too far. This is both a blessing and a curse, allowing me to defend my positions despite others’ attitudes but also isolating me.

In order to get some clarity about this, I did a reading for myself.

Using the Wizards Tarot, I asked:

How does being an outlier serve me? Knight of Pentacles Rx
How does it hinder me? 2 of Cups Rx
What can I do with this information going forward? The Hierophant Rx

Being an outlier has been a way of protecting myself, of isolating myself before others could exile me. Of course, this also says a lot about some of the earlier relationships I had in my life. I did have occasions where those I believed were “friends” betrayed me or mocked me. It created a very weird dynamic and made me mistrustful and extremely cautious.

This mistrust and caution have also prevented me from forming closer friendships and emotional bonds. I do have friends but they are a small, select group. I don’t really do casual friendships which may explain why Facebook made me so twitchy. To paraphrase a friend of my hubby’s, if you haven’t seen me make a complete ass of myself at least once, you aren’t really my friend.

So, going forward I need to learn from these experiences; to be willing to use it as a learning opportunity. That doesn’t mean I have to change the way I am, simply that I should be more mindful and conscious of what I’m doing and why. Perhaps this will also serve as a tool for helping others who have similar issues.

#TarotDaily – 10 of Swords Rx + 9 of Cups Rx (#BohemianGothic)

Posted on by
Reply

What goal do I have that is stalled because I am overwhelmed? How might I best move forward?

I’m stalled because I still haven’t let go enough to move to the next level; the next phase in my life. I’m spending too much time focusing on the pain and the loss and not enough time focusing on what comes next; what I’ve achieved despite of or even because of the pain and loss.

The best way for me to move forward is to get more realistic and practical about matters. Wishes are wonderful things and can be quite a motivating factor, however they can also easily become a trap. Instead of dreaming about things that are unlikely to happen, such as winning the lottery, now is the time to focus on somewhat more realistic and practical dreams and goals.

This actually ties in quite nicely with yesterday’s reading reminding me that I need to narrow the field a bit because time has become more limited. This is a lot to think about and a lot to work with moving forward.

#TarotDaily – 7 of Pentacles + 6 of Wands (#TrickorTreat)

Posted on by
Reply

How might self-discipline give you more freedom? What would be a way for you develop that discipline?

Self-discipline would enable me to make more informed, practical decisions based in what I’ve achieved so far and what I plan to achieve in the coming years. I have a rather “shoot from the hip” approach to most matters. As a rule, this has worked just fine for me so I feel little incentive to change. This card suggests that planning things in advance and periodically taking stock might help me use my time and energy more effectively as well as recognizing how far I’ve come.

One technique that might help me in being more open to this approach is celebrating my victories when they occur. As much as I don’t take stock, I’m also not good at appreciating or valuing what I’m good at doing. I tend to take a dismissive approach to my own achievements. I’m not sure whether this is because I felt that highlighting my achievements would alienate me from other people or because I have self-esteem issues. What’s most likely is it is a combination of both. Having said that, maybe it’s time to embrace, honor, and celebrate my achievements. This certainly wood go a long way towards keeping me on track and being self-disciplined.

#TarotDaily – 8 of Discs + 7 of Cups (#AllHallows)

Posted on by
Reply

What parts of your past must you explore and resolve in order to move forward?

This was a tough reading for me. I sometimes find when the reading is about me, interpreting it can be tricky. I see what I want to see or delude myself. I plan to try avoiding it here but I’m not sure how successful I’ll be.

This reading feels connected to my career (well former career). I invested many hours into my former profession and still struggle to accept I’ll likely never work at a career again. Oh I may find work, get a job, but I’ll never again climb a career ladder. There are several reasons for this. One is that I wouldn’t return to my former profession even if it were possible. The field has changed dramatically since I left. Government regulations and funding requirements have made it more about metrics and measurable outcomes than quality programming and services.

I will also never invest so much of myself in another job. I dedicated my heart, soul and body to that job. I put in untold extra hours ensuring things ran smoothly and the facility was safe. I exhausted myself. I had friends and family volunteer for various activities and events. And, for several years I was able to work my dream job. I accomplished what I wanted in that field and now I need to release it and move forward.

Now I need to focus on the plethora of opportunities out there for me in new arenas. It won’t be a career path, instead it may be pursuing joy. This is my chance to explore all the things that make me happy, big and small, without pressure or expectations. For years I felt I didn’t live up to my potential. Now I can redefine where my potential truly lies. I can do things just for the sheer pleasure. That is exciting!

#TarotDaily – The Fool + 4 of Swords (#AllHallows)

Posted on by
Reply

Which of your creative gifts are lying dormant? How might you awaken them?

All of my creative gifts are dormant right now because I don’t have faith in them; I’m afraid to express them. One of my biggest challenges has always been to recognize my gifts and accomplishments. I fell into the mindset of believing that if I am good at something, gifted with a skill, then it mustn’t be that difficult. I also resist exploring unfamiliar territory. If I don’t think I can do something well the first time, I avoid trying it. This has limited me in a variety of ways and us something I’d like to move beyond.

I think one I’ve the ways I can awaken these dormant, unexplored creative gifts is to take breaks for myself. I recently decided to spend 15-30 minutes everyday in a mini-retreat. I will spend the time journaling or crafting, listening to music and meditating. This will enable me to shake myself loose from current, stifling patterns. I think this will help me reconnect to existing creative gifts and discover new ones.

#TarotDaily – Wheel of Fortune + 6 of Swords (Radiant WS)

Posted on by
Reply

TarotHunter’s Silver Bullets:

  • Changes are coming that may lead to a shift in mindset; a reassessment of where you are and where you want to be.
  • No matter how hard you try, you can’t escape change (trust me, I’ve tried). The best option is to try to prepare for it as best you can. Make plans so that you can get ahead of it. Consider different potential scenarios so that you can be ready to handle them. Just remember that fleeing willy-nilly is probably not the best solution.
  • As David Bowie once sang about changes “turn and face the strange”. Trying to escape or protect yourself from change inevitably produces failure. Instead of running away from change, try embracing it, celebrating it and seeing where it leads you.

#TarotDaily – 7 of Pentacles Rx + 4 of Cups Rx (Radiant WS)

Posted on by
Reply

TarotHunter’s Salt Rounds:

  • You tend to make yourself unhappy because instead of enjoying the good things in your life right now you bemoan what you don’t have. Rather than appreciating where you are, you bitch about how far you have to go.
  • You lose yourself in dissatisfaction and ennui because you don’t learn from the past. When things are not perfect you mourn rather than determining how they can be improved.
  • Revisiting past achievements and life experiences can help us realize how far we’ve come and how much we’ve learned. Getting lost in them only makes us unhappy and disgruntled.

#TarotDaily – The Fool + Chief of Stakes Rx (#SacredBridges)

Posted on by
Reply

TarotHunter’s Salt Rounds:

  1. You are hoping for a new beginning, a new opportunity to change things but you don’t yet have the mastery, knowledge and experience to bring this to fruition. Patience is the key.
  2. Believing in yourself; having faith in your abilities is a wondrous and important component of success but more is usually required for long term success. Learning to harness and focus your creative energies, your divine fire, is necessary too. That’s something only time and experience can offer. So have faith in yourself but do the work needed to acquire the knowledge and experience.
  3. Sometimes mastery and experience can blind us to new paths, ideas and challenges. Every so often we need to jump in with both eyes open and take a risk; to take a deep breath and shout “What the f**k!”.

#TarotDaily – Awakening + The Guru (Sacred Bridges)

Posted on by
Reply

TarotHunter’s Silver Bullets:

  • Wake up and smell the coffee! Things may seem screwed up right now; dark and hopeless, but if we find the right teachers and listen to those sages who are truly spiritual and live right, we can find our way through. Listen with your heart and mind open.
  • Open your soul up to new possibilities. Listen to the messages offered by true spiritual teachers, not platitudes given by pundits and orthodox mouthpieces. That is where your true answers await.
  • To be truly awakened you need to find your own way; forge your own path. Teachers can only offer guidance and knowledge, wisdom comes from learning how to use it in everyday life.

#TarotDaily – Ace of Wheels + 2 of Stakes (Sacred Bridges)

Posted on by
Reply

TarotHunter’s Salt Rounds:

  • The medicine wheel can help you manifest your dreams and create prosperity in you life but before that can happen you need to way to cut through what holds you back and unleash your intellectual power; find a balance between existing beliefs and new ones.
  • This is an opportunity for a new start; to explore new territory. Right now you may feel stifled and stagnant because you’ve been ignoring your need to nourish you mind; to sharpen your saw. Unleashing that potential will help you manifest new and unlimited possibilities for growth and success.
  • Wheels turn, that’s what they do. You are being given a message that changes are coming your way. Right now your mental energies are in a receptive phase; you are taking in new techniques, inspiration and ideas. Soon you will be focusing it outwards and creating magic in your life; sharing what you’ve learned with others. Just believe in yourself!