Unfocused, apathetic and filled with ennui. What the hell is wrong with me? (#Tarot #TarotReading #MuseTarot)

For the past few months I have been at loose ends. I can’t focus; haven’t been able to even start a new book; don’t even feel like changing out of my pajamas. As a result, I feel like a sloth. So I decided to gain some insight by using Tarot to explore what’s going on with me.

Using the Muse Tarot, I asked:

  • Why am I so unfocused?  Queen of Materials Rx
  • What can change this?  10 of Inspiration
  • What underlying factors impact this?  3 of Voices Rx


  • Looking at the cards helped me realize that isolation and quarantine are negatively impacting me (something I’m sure us not unique right now.  I can’t manifest what I want in my life.  I’ve been forced into a caretaker role which is not innate to my nature and feels as though it’s sucking all my creative energies.  I can’t focus on my needs and care for myself because I have to focus on others, and I rail against this restriction.

    I can change this by taking baby steps; nurturing and tending to one interest, one creative endeavor even when I feel too worn out.  Using the large amphora carried by the woman, I can carefully refill the smaller jars and slowly refuel.  Instead of focusing on what I can’t do right now, explore what I can.

    The reversed 3 of Voices touches on childhood feelings of feeling abandoned and excluded; as though I’ve been ditched in advance.  Growing up I was always an oddball, a misfit and didn’t fit in well with most of my peer group.  I had friends but even they didn’t get me.  Quite often I felt like everyone else spoke in a code I didn’t understand and regularly mocked me (yes, I had issues).  Being isolated and disconnected from friends and family right now triggers a lot of those feelings and made me realize it’s something I might need to work on a bit more.

    I know I’m not alone in these feelings.  In fact, in an odd way it’s reassuring to see other crafters expressing similar feelings or chatting with friends and hearing they’re going through their own moments of isolation and frustration.  It helps me understand that I’m not in this alone, even if it feels that way right now.  The best way for me to handle it is focusing on what I can do and using my creative energies in ways that revive and rejuvenate me.

    #TarotDaily – Queen of Cups + Knight of Pentacles (Radiant WS)

    TarotHunter’s Silver Bullets:

    • You’re feeling torn and conflicted, unsure which path to choose. Part of you wants stability and emotional satisfaction while another side wants to be more daring and seek out physical gratification. In the battle between heart and body, which will win.
    • You dream of a knight in shining armor who will sweep you off your feet but all you’ve encountered so far are well meaning plodders caught up in the day to day grind. Perhaps you’re so caught up in your fantasy that you aren’t seeing things clearly. Your expectations might be unreasonable and unrealistic, leaving you few options and little opportunity for a fulfilling relationship.
    • Do you feel disconnected from your physical self? Are you more comfortable with emotional connections than physical ones? This separation between heart and body can lead to relationship and even health issues down the road. Now might be a good time for some introspection, journal work and physical activities like yoga or Tai chi to help reintegrate these different parts of yourself.

    #TarotDaily – 10 of Sparks Rx + Ace of Wings Rx (#Pholarchos)

    Lost! I feel lost. I can’t find my path; can’t figure out which direction to move. My monkey mind is chattering so loudly I can’t hear anything else; can’t focus on anything else! My energy is gone, my creativity is for shit. What the Hell happened to me?!!

    I was once the star, the energetic, opinionated one. I inspired a bit of admiration and envy in others. Now I can’t be bothered to change out of my pajamas most days. I’ve tried nothing and i’!m all out of ideas. Shit! I hate feeling this way!

    Whew! Glad I got that out. I can feel the fires still burning. They’re banked right now but ready to flare to life if given the opportunity. Maybe once I can harness my mind, shut that damned monkey mind up, I’ll be able to plot a new course.