Week 32 – The Message of the Swans Spread (#TarotReading #WheelofChangeTarot #52WeekProject)

Yesterday, I went for a walk and sat at a gazebo that faces out over the lake.  I noticed two swans enjoying the sunny afternoon.  I have always considered swans to be magical, otherworldly creatures so I had to take a picture.

I’ve taken many pictures of the swans that occupy the lake over the years.  My mother-in-law’s house overlooks a small arm of the lake and the swans are regular visitors along with a heron, ducks, and geese.

I don’t know if these are the same two swans but there have been swans visiting these waters for at least the last 15 years, possibly much longer than that.  So, today, while I was trying to think of what question to focus on for my weekly reading, it occurred to me that I am regularly visited by many different critters.  I decided it might be time to see if they have any messages for me, starting with the swans.

What message do the swans have for me?  8 of Swords, 3 of Wands Rx, 3 of Disks Rx.

8 of Swords, 3 of Wands Rx, 3 of Disks Rx – The Wheel of Change Tarot

The shattered window on the 8 of Swords shows me that I need to actually break that glass. I need to shake things up to force those that should be doing more to fix my brother-in-law’s situation to take action. It feels like I’m an exhibit in the Star Trek episode The Cage. I’m behind glass with people walking past and staring. They comment on how wonderful I am; how devoted caring for my brother-in-law, but no one’s listening to me scream on the other side that I can’t do this anymore! Attempts to break the glass have been futile because their gas lighting me into believing the glass isn’t really broken. It allows them to leave feeling virtuous, but having done nothing to change or help the situation. It’s time to smash that glass; make noise so they understand things can’t remain this way anymore. They must be forced to see this situation more clearly, to see, as symbolized by the window, that it’s broken and I must be released. To hear me shrieking that I’m exhausted and need things to change!

The Three of Wands reversed shows me that expressing and exploring my creative energies is dependent upon shattering that glass; shaking up the status quo. It’s reversed because until I dramatically change the current situation, I’m stuck in stasis. It also reminds me that I can’t, shouldn’t, do this alone. I need to have allies, family and Friends supporting me, advising me, and working with me as I go through this. I need to find ways to nurture and replenish my spark so it doesn’t get extinguished.

The 3 of Disks shows that if I want to dig down to the next layer, and explore uncharted territory, I’m going to need help; it’s going to be a team effort. As it stands right now all the work I’m trying to do is actually benefiting someone else and not me. That needs to change. Otherwise I’m just digging myself a hole from which I can’t be extricated. I think it’s also a reminder that despite the seeming activity on the part of those responsible for resolving the situation with my brother-in-law, a lot of it is futile and pointless action that resolves nothing. It’s another trying to make it look like they’re busy and doing things when they’re actually not. Connecting back with the broken window in the 8 of Swords, they’re comfortable with the status quo because all responsibility falls on me. I have to take steps to make the situation untenable for them as it currently exists.

Despite my tendency to try to be a rugged individualist, this reading points out that’s not going to serve me well right now. I need to break free of that pattern and that tendency; find ways to accept input from others that will help me transform my reality. I’ve been dealing with stuff by myself for too long and it’s wearing on me. The only way to change that is to be willing to ask and accept assistance, suggestions, and support from others that I trust. Thinking about it, I often see the swans together. They’re a collaborative; a partnership. Their message to me is that I need to start creating some collaborations of my own.

During a slight bout of sleeplessness early this morning, I came across this video. I was blown away by how perfectly the imagery in this video suits the message of the 8 of Swords card in this reading

Week 31 – Offering Messages Spread (#TarotReading #WheelofChangeTarot #52WeekProject)

This week I decided to create a spread based on the messages I received during each of my daily devotionals.  As I may have mentioned, from Monday through Friday I perform daily devotionals to the Earth mother, the nature spirits, the ancestors, the gods and goddesses, as well as the fair folk, and the outdwellers.  In addition to this, I make a daily offering to a specific deity or ancestor.  Right now I honor my hubby, The Morrigan, The Dagda, Thor and Skadi.  After making my offering I ask for a message from the ones I honored.  From my hubby, The Morrigan and The Dagda, I pull a Tarot card for their response.  I use runes for Thor’s and Skadi’s messages.  This past week my messages were The Sun Rx, Woman of Battle (Page of Swords), Foundation of Skill (6 of Wands), Ehwaz and Othala.  From these messages, I created the following spread.

  • Who am I in my true self?  6 of Swords
  • What changes are constellating around me right now?  7 of Swords Rx
  • What is my true skill in life?  Knight of Swords Rx
  • How can I create a support team to help me in this endeavor?  7 of Wands
  • How can my ancestors aid me in this endeavor?  3 of Cups
6 of Swords, 7 of Swords Rx, Knight of Swords Rx, 7 of Wands, 3 of Cups from The Wheel of Change Tarot

The message I get from the 6 of Swords is that there is a cycle to life. The caribou dies to feed the tribe. The birds fly south for the winter. Ice and snow cover the land and eventually melt away. In my true self I am a person who understands that there are cycles to life and tries to prepare and plan accordingly. I am willing to make the necessary sacrifices in order to achieve my goals. I’m not willing to continue spinning my wheels with no end in sight, and nothing achieved.

The changes constellating around me right now seem to involve communication and being open to suggestions and ideas from others. The image on this card represents the Rosetta Stone, a tool which allowed us to understand certain ancient languages for the first time. I think this card’s message reveals that I need to look within myself and find my inner Rosetta Stone; I need to find the key that will allow me to interpret my inner thoughts and ideas, and communicate them, calmly, clearly and intelligently, to those that need to hear them.

The Knight of Swords Rx representing my true skill in life threw me. I actually referred to the book on this one, and I rarely do that. Looking at what the deck creator intended this card to symbolize helped me understand that my skill is in approaching things from a very rational, intellectual perspective but not getting caught up in the perspective and vision of pure science. I can’t help but explore what the practical applications might be resulting from pure research. I can’t help but disagree with the belief that potential applications of knowledge shouldn’t preclude the pursuit of that knowledge. Nothing exists in a vacuum. I think we must take a hard look at where our pursuit of knowledge, without having the wisdom to apply it, has led us.

I think the 7 of Wands is telling me that I need to build a support network of friends and loved ones who not only support me but help me recognize my accomplishments and achievements. It has been pointed out to me that sometimes I don’t recognize how extraordinary some of the things I have been able to accomplish actually are. I have an unfortunate habit of downplaying my successes or treating them as though anyone could achieve them. With rare exception shooting my own horn is difficult for me. I need to build a support network that doesn’t allow me to get away with this and challenges me when I do.

The 3 of Cups shows that my ancestors will help me achieve this goal by the ancestral memories and examples they provide. The image on this 3 of Cups reminds me of the pensieve in the Harry Potter series. A tool through which I can revisit past events, and have a better understanding of the sacrifices made and challenges faced by my ancestors. Obviously I do not have a pensieve, but that certainly would be a task for which Tarot is uniquely suited. So I think the way the ancestors can continue to help me is by offering insight and advice from their perspective using the Tarot as a tool for communication.

I think one of my skills is calling myself on my own bullshit. I might be smart enough to use logic and claim that I’m being rational in my behaviors and my decisions however also well aware that I try to fool myself quite a bit. I think my true skill isn’t digging deeper until I get to the root of my bullshit, and expose it so that the light can burn it to a cinder. I’m learning how to listen to myself so that I can explore and understand better who I truly am, and not just meet the needs and expectations of others.

Week 30 – Here Comes the Sun Spread (#TarotReading #WheelofChangeTarot #52WeekProject)

I created this spread to honor the impending arrival of Spring. It’s based on one of my favorite Beatles’ songs, written by George Harrison.

  • What’s been frozen this winter? Princess of Disks
  • What will the melting ice reveal? Prince of Disks Rx
  • What will return the smile to my face? Knight of Disks Rx
  • What will be made clear? 9 of Cups
Princess of Disks, Prince of Disks Rx, Knight of Disks Rx, 9 of Cups from The Wheel of Change Tarot

What has been frozen this Winter is my ability to explore and learn new things about myself and my environment; my ability to plant seeds that will bring forth new growth and abundance. Some of this might be due to the nature of the season. Some days it’s simply too cold to go outside and roam around. However, I think the bigger portion of this is due to the reality of how limited my life is right now because of the situation with my brother-in-law. I’m realizing it takes a very special focus and mindset to mentally and psychologically free oneself from a physical limitation.

I think the melting ice will reveal that I do have that ability. I just have to believe that I have it. I think the reversed nature of this Prince of Disks shows that I have the skills and capability to build whatever reality I want as long, as I have the willingness to make the attempt. I have to have faith in myself, and confidence in my skill set, because if I don’t believe in myself, the foundation will be too shaky to stand. I also like the inclusion of the wheel in this card which suggests that this reversal will be turned around soon enough. Right now, this is an area that I need to focus on within myself, and within these restrictions but eventually that will change.

When I saw the Knight of Disks show up in response to “What will return the smile to my face?”, I had to smile. The Knight is equivalent to the King in this deck, and I have always seen my husband’s energy as very King of Disks. So in its most simplistic form, this answer is telling me that thinking about my husband will return the smile to my face. In the larger sense I think what it’s showing is that I will always carry him in my heart. I will always feel him watching over me and know that he would support me and want me to be happy and fulfilled. Realizing that is comforting and reassuring and absolutely makes me smile. On another level, this Knight of Disks shows me that I have the potential to become my own Knight of Disks; to become the master of my own physical self and physical space. Once I am able to activate the energies in the Prince of Disks, I will find myself able to manifest my own inner hubby, if you will. I will be able to activate the inner strength I already possess that I have always associated with my husband.

What will be made clear is my inner wishes and desires. I have spent so much time suppressing them because it’s just too painful. When there are limits on how one can pursue one’s interests, it’s much easier to shrink them down to achievable bites. Instead of crying for the moon, and yearning for what I cannot possibly have right now, I have diminished my dreams. I think this reading reminds me that once I am able to have more control over my life, to physically manifest the environment and reality that I desire, I will find it easier to unlock those dreams and begin to actively pursue them.

Despite the fact that The Sun never actually appeared in this reading, it feels like these cards are showing me how I can manifest a reality in which I finally have my moment to shine in the sun again. I will reach a place where I can start to pursue my dreams, hopes, and wishes. First I have to build a solid foundation; manifest my skills and energies in a way that will allow that to happen.

Week 29 – Like a Mountain Spread (#TarotReading #WheelofChangeTarot #52WeekProject)

Like a Mountain Spread by Stevie Converse from Sheilaa Hite’s 101 Tarot Spreads by 20 Modern Tarot Masters

I found this spread in Sheilaa Hite’s 101 Tarot Spreads by 20 Modern Tarot Masters.  It looked intriguing and I decided this was something I needed to focus on this week.  So, I shuffled my Wheel of Change Tarot deck, and drew the following cards.

The Tower Rx, Ace of Wands, 10 of Disks & The High Priestess from The Wheel of Change Tarot

I have to admit, I always love when I get these kinds of readings.  The message just seemed so clear to me.  The Tower reversed is showing the nature of the storm is that I have already lost one of the most important things in the world to me – my hubby.  And now I’m dealing with the aftermath of that loss from a practical perspective, an emotional perspective, every possible perspective.  Especially as it pertains to trying to make arrangements for future care of my brother-in-law.  This is the mess that I have been left to clean up after my world has fallen down around me.  That is the storm which has been consuming my life for the last 2 years.

The 10 of Disks appearing in response to bedrock of support seems both revealing and a bit confusing.  From a financial perspective, things will be fine once everything is back on track.  My husband always made it a priority to try to ensure that I would be in a solid financial position if something happened to him.  However, looking at all the drums on this card, it also shows me that some of the bedrock is not as stable as it might appear.  There are people involved in this situation who are beating their drums, promising to help, and in reality they’re creating a lot of sound and fury signifying nothing. The truth is, it’s very easy to pay lip service to something and much more challenging to actually follow through.  I do have the support of friends and family, but there is a limit to what they can do.  Some of them do not live near me or they have their own responsibilities that need attending.  I think some of these extraneous drums refer to some of the people whose job it is to help find a new residence for my brother-in-law.  The ones who promise they’re doing everything they can, and yet there’s been absolutely no progress.  Interesting.

The Ace of Wands as my shelter from the storm tells me that my creative and spiritual endeavors are what will help me get through this with my sanity intact.  I think this reinforces the benefits of my renewed daily spiritual practice as a very healing tool.  It also makes me feel a little less guilty about some of the splurging I’ve done recently on art supplies.  I might have been indulging in some retail therapy; I might have been preparing myself to explore new artistic endeavors. Time will tell.

And, last but certainly not least, the rainbow after the storm is The High Priestess.  I think she’s telling me that everything that I am going through, all of the tools I’m using to help me process & manage my stress, my grief & my frustration, will ultimately leave me with a much better understanding of myself, and a deep inner knowledge of who I am, and who I am becoming.

I found this to be a very positive reading for me.  It reinforces that although things are difficult right now, and I will need to beat my own drum more, things will work out for the best.  I may need to take some action to clear away the drums that aren’t playing my tune, despite what they claim, but I think I can handle it.

Week 28 – Superior Me (TarotReading #FörhäxaTarot #52WeekProject)

I was chatting with a friend the other day about how people’s pursuit of money can often skew their values and indeed has had a seemingly negative impact upon our society as a whole. That led me to some naval gazing, and I started wondering is it really pursuit of money that’s the root of evil or is it what we think having money grants us? As a society many Americans ascribe certain qualities to being wealthy. We think it makes people happier; makes people impervious to the viscitudes of everyday life. We see it in the news all the time rich, people are not held to the same standards as the rest of us. It’s often claimed that the criminal justice system is very different for people with money, especially white people with money. This made me wonder if it’s really the money that we want or the privilege that we believe accompanies having money. For example, consider Sigmund Freud’s penis envy Theory. I honestly don’t know many women who envy men’s physical possession of a penis. However, it’s possible what women actually envy is the privilege and rights ascribed to them because of said appendage. I think that what we really want is something that makes us feel Superior to other people. Think about people who feel like they’re in the know about a subject people who buy into conspiracy theories because they think it’s hidden information that only a select few can access.

Think about people who feel like they’re in the know about a subject; people who buy into conspiracy theories because they think it’s hidden information that only a select few can access. We all like to feel that we possess secret information to which others are ignorant. Why? Because it allows us to feel Superior in some way. Why do some people fight so hard to take away the rights of minorities or other special groups? Because it’s a way to feel Superior to those people. I could be totally wrong about this because honestly I’m just basing this on a gut feeling but I still thought it might be interesting to explore.

So, I wondered where in my life I suffer from a superiority complex. I know that I have them. Some I’m well aware of, but I’m trying to explore the ones to which I might be oblivious. So I decided to do what I often do in these types of situations. I sought advice from the Tarot.

I asked: 1) What superiority complex do I not see? 2) What will help me recognize it? 3) How has this blind spot been serving me?

Queen of Water, 9 of Air & Wheel of Fortune – Förhäxa Tarot

The Queen of Water reminds me that I tend to be dismissive of people’s feelings or avoid dealing with them. I like to flatter myself that I’m above all of that, but the reality is I’m not. In fact, it’s a weak point for me it’s why I prefer dealing with Swords issues than Cups issues. In my world growing up showing your emotions left you vulnerable and could create a weapon for people to use against you. So I donned a cloak of emotional and vulnerability and used it to protect myself. I draped myself in the moral superiority I felt because I wouldn’t let someone hurt me like that. I have failed to recognize that pretending to be emotionally invulnerable doesn’t mean that I am. In fact by avoiding addressing emotional issues I’ve probably made myself more vulnerable than I would have been had I dealt with this at an earlier point in my life. This Queen of Water is reminding me that instead of learning to embrace my emotions, I’ve barely been able to keep my head above water.

I really love this 9 of Air card. When I first saw, it I thought those were dragonflies coming up out of a swampy body of water (they’re actually hornets). The message I got from this card is what will help me is accepting and acknowledging that no matter how much I ignore emotional issues, they’re lying in wait under the surface. If I don’t handle them they will rise up, and sting me. At the same time, I see these dragonfly/hornets as a hopeful sign because their wings are so luminous against the darkness of the background. It’s a reminder that while intellect cannot control emotions, learning new ideas and taking a new perspective to the matter, will help me develop a plan to deal with them. My emotions are going to be there whether I choose to address them or not. What needs to change, so that I can deal with them in a healthier way, is my mindset about the whole issue.

The Wheel of Fortune shows this blind spot has been serving me because it allowed me to treat my emotions as though they’re something separate from me; my shadow side that I could ignore. They allowed me to try to resist the changes that are essential to grow and expand in life. It was a way for me to try to stave off the inevitable. It allowed me to cling to my illusion that I was somehow Superior because I was not subject to the whims of being overly emotional. In reality what I’ve realized is I didn’t need to be emotional with anyone else because I had my husband. He was my support. He was my rock, my stability. He allowed me to hide my vulnerable, emotional side from anybody but him. I could trust him and knew he wouldn’t hurt me. So in a way, this created a situation where I could allow myself to stagnate in this area. I didn’t need to change and grow because my husband protected me; shielded me.

I found this reading especially interesting because all three of these cards showed up for me earlier in the week as messages from my ancestors. Except they were originally reversed. So once again I’m getting reinforcement of the original message. I need to work on my emotional maturity and nature because if I don’t it’s going to cause me problems in the long run. And that is nothing to feel Superior about.

Week 27 – How can I strengthen my connection to my gods? (TarotReading #FörhäxaTarot #CelticWisdomTarot #52WeekProject)

I have developed a daily devotional practice honoring the Earth mother,  the nature spirits, the ancestors, the gods and goddesses that my people honored as well as specific individual deities with whom I feel a stronger connection.  I try to keep it fairly simple; offering nuts to the Earth mother, critter food to the nature spirits and tea to the ancestors and the gods.  I also used tea for the offering when I’m honoring a specific deity or ancestor, except my husband – he gets coffee.  So far this seems to work out very well.  After making an offering to a specific ancestor or deity, I take an omen ADF style.  When the ancestor or deity is Irish, I use my Celtic Wisdom Tarot for the omen.  For my Norse deities I pull a rune.  Usually this works fine but every so often things get confusing.

One of the deities that I am trying to build a stronger relationship with is The Morrigan.  I have felt drawn to her for many years, but haven’t actually taken any steps to enhance that bond.  So recently when I made my first offering to her as part of my daily devotional practice, I received The Shaper (Empress) reversed as my omen/message.  As soon as I saw this card I heard a voice in my head telling me “I am not your mother and this is not going to be a kinder, gentler relationship”.  Honestly this felt completely appropriate and typical of the kind of energy that I have often felt while working with The Morrigan.  She’s not soft and cuddly, and if that’s what I’m looking for she would not be the best goddess with whom to align myself.

The next time I made an offering the card I drew was the Augury of Skill (Ace of Wands) reversed.  The image on the card represents the Irish deity Lugh and his spear, which is considered one of the treasures of the Tuatha de Danann.  One of the aspects described to Lugh is that he is “many skilled”.  So I can see him being associated with the suit of Wands because he is a source of creativity.  However having this show up reversed is the message I received confused me a little bit. 

The next day the deity that I honored is The Dagda, the Good Father of the Tuatha de Danann, a god of great knowledge, a skilled warrior, and an inspired musician.  He possesses a cauldron from which none walk away hungry.  He also happens to be considered by many to be the husband of The Morrigan.  On a personal note, my husband always struck me as a wonderful embodiment of The Dagda’s energy manifested on this plane.  When I pulled a card to receive my message from him, I received the Queen of Battle, The Morrigan.  In my head I heard a voice telling me “you need to make sure you understand who she is and what she will be requiring of you”.  In other words I had to make sure I had made “right” my relationship with The Morrigan.

So to help me figure out the best way to do this I pulled three more cards for clarification.  I asked The Morrigan what was the best way to establish a “right” relationship with her?  I drew Woman of Battle Rx, Quest of Art, and Woman of Art (Page of Air Rx, 10 of Water & Page of Water).  When I looked at these cards I got distracted by the figures from Irish mythology and folklore that they represented.  The Woman of Battle is Queen Maeve.  The 10 of Art shows the Salmon of Wisdom being found in The Well of Segais.  The Woman of Art represented by  Boann, the goddess of the Boyne River whose mythology is also associated with The Well of Segais.  My initial response to reading these cards is that The Morrigan was showing me that our relationship will be a battle but not one of the mind.  She doesn’t really need to work on my intelligence or mental abilities, because I am fairly comfortable and confident in these areas. However the presence of the 10 and Page of Water suggest that where we will battle is the realm of emotions, the heart. I decided to pull the matching cards from the Förhäxa Tarot to help clarify things for me. It also intrigued me that the two Water cards are connected with a well known as a source of great wisdom. In other words, if I want to actually acquire wisdom, not just knowledge, I need to dive into The Well of my own emotions.

Celtic Wisdom Tarot
Förhäxa Tarot

Looking at these cards I had to laugh. The wasp-like shape of the Queen of Air reinforces the idea that I’m going to get stung with some things, will be hurt, but ultimately will be helped. The only way for me to move forward is to let go of the past. The Page of Air Rx suggests that in the past focusing more on my intelligence, logic, and knowledge was a way of protecting myself. If I became like Mr Spock, I wouldn’t have to worry about being hurt by the slings and barbs of others. In some ways, I see myself as Sheldon from Big Bang Theory. I may be insensitive and seem heartless, but most times it’s because I just don’t understand what it is people want or expect from me. I know I should offer distressed people a hot refreshing beverage but don’t always understand why. The roots of that developed as an effort to protect my very soft inner center from the pain of friends who betrayed me or classmates who mocked me. I understand that in many cases they were as clueless as I was, but those barbs dug deep and still reside in my soul. As a result, I put on very thick armor to pretend none of it impacted me, didn’t bother me. In reality I was curled up and crying on the inside.

Similar messages have appeared for me numerous times over the past few months.  It has become clear that one of the lessons I need to learn moving forward is to grow more comfortable with that side of my nature; to explore my inner emotions.  This is rarely something I will do voluntarily.  So it makes perfect sense that the only lens through which I would be willing to explore this side of my nature is the one provided by The Morrigan. She’s not going to cuddle me and Pat me on the back saying “there, there”. Instead she is basically going to slap me at the back of the head and say “put on your big girl panties, and keep going. All of this is in the past. It can’t hurt you anymore unless you let it”. The truth is I know that, but very much like exercising or eating right, that’s often the harder choice to make, so I avoid it. The Morrigan is showing me she’s not going to let me avoid this anymore. I’m both a little terrified and excited. This will really be uncharted territory for me.

Week 26 – How can I use this time to explore my creativity? (TarotReading #FörhäxaTarot #52WeekProject)

In honor of the full moon in Leo, I decided to do a reading for myself focusing on some of the energies associated with this cycle.   Since I have been thinking about expressing my creativity in different areas, I thought that might be a fun topic to explore.  So using my absolutely stunning Förhäxa Tarot,I asked the following questions.

9 of Earth, Queen of Water Rx, 6 of Air – Förhäxa Tarot

What will inspire me?  9 of Earth – I can be inspired by the natural world around me.  Despite the fact that I have limited ability to go beyond the borders of my own property that doesn’t mean I can’t explore the beauty on this property.  Practically every day I’m visited by squirrels, various birds, ducks, occasionally a swan comes by, and my heron sometimes drops in.  They all offer an amazing window into the natural world that surrounds this little piece of land and I need to take advantage of it.  Nature journaling might be the perfect way to get me started and inspire me to try new techniques or revisit old techniques.

What will challenge me?  Queen of Water Rx – I think the Queen of Water is showing me that what will challenge me is what always challenges me, exploring and embracing my inner emotions.  Cup issues are a realm I prefer to avoid.  The truth is, I think the only thing holding me together right now is the fact that I don’t give in to becoming overly emotional.  However, I’m realizing that ignoring or avoiding this part of my psyche also limits me because it’s difficult to find ways to sustain yourself emotionally if you avoid diving into that pool.  The truth is ignoring or avoiding my emotions doesn’t mean they don’t exist and are impacting the situation.  I can see this becoming a challenge when it comes to expressing my creativity because I do believe that one’s creativity is innately tied to one’s emotional state.  So this ought to be fun.

What practical steps can I take?  6 of Air – I think this reinforces the idea that although I cannot physically change my environment right now, I can change my mindset. This message has come up for me several times in the past few months. The only limits on me are ones I impose upon myself. Even if I’m limited in where I can go and what I can do in the physical realm, that doesn’t stop me from using my mind to learn new things; explore new ideas. I need to keep the fact uppermost in my mind.

So, clearly the cards are telling me that my creativity is only limited by my own internal restrictions. I don’t need to leave this property in order to be creative, I only think I do. I’ve recently become enamored with the idea of plein air painting, painting outdoors. Nothing says that needs to be any further than 5′ outside the front door. Implicit in these cards is a message of “just do it”. It has come up for me numerous times as a reminder that much of what limits me is my own internally imposed restrictions. I have to move beyond that to avoid stifling my creativity.

Week 25 – How can I live my life more instinctively and joyously? (TarotReading #FörhäxaTarot #52WeekProject)

On Twitter today I noticed a tweet by @JeremyWingert79 noting that he believes unprocessed trauma as a result of covid is preventing many of us from living as instinctively and joyously as we once did. https://twitter.com/JeremyWingert79/status/1619354903457202176?t=waJl8O7-L5h5fDxNRGCPHQ&s=19. This made me wonder about how I manifesting this in my own life. So, of course, I did what I always do when I need to get inside my own head, I picked up my Tarot cards. I asked “How can I live more instinctively and joyously?” These are the three cards I pulled.

Knight of Air, The World Rx + The Chariot – Förhäxa Tarot

I have to say I am so glad I purchased this deck. The images are absolutely stunning and the messages I get just seem so clear to me. The Knight of Air shows me I need to let my mind soar; to take this opportunity, while I am physically restrained, to explore new ideas or dig deeper into ideas that already intrigue me. Even if my body is forced to stay in one location right now, my mind can still soar free and fly high like that bird. Maybe one of the things I can learn more about is astral travel and lucid dreaming. I’ve long been interested in both topics but allow myself to become distracted by other things going on. Maybe now is the opportunity to study them further.

The World Rx shows me that I can’t keep focusing on what’s going on outside in the larger world. It’s not that I’m not concerned about current affairs and social situations, however I am not currently in a position where I can do much about it. Focusing too much of my energy on those areas stresses me out much more than I need right now. This does nothing for my physical or mental health. Right now my world needs to be smaller and more personal.

Ah, The Chariot. Once again a bird is soaring into the sky. This time it’s a black bird, perhaps a crow, with a winged female astride. I think this is reinforcing the message of the Knight of Air. This is time for me to take control of my journey, to trust that things are going in the right direction but be more conscious and pay more attention to the journey. It reaffirms that this may be my chance to explore uncharted territory or re-familiarize myself with territory I haven’t visited in some time.

So an answer to my initial question about living more instinctively and joyously, the cards suggest that instead of focusing on where I’m limited, I focus on the areas where nothing can restrict me but myself. Instead of focusing on what I can’t do, I need to consider what I can and take steps to accomplish something in those areas. I have always found joy in learning new things and nothing can stop me from doing that right now except myself. One benefit in a post-COVID world is how many resources are now available online. It’s time I started foraging to discover how that can benefit me.

Week 24 – New Moon in Aquarius Spread (TarotReading #FörhäxaTarot #52WeekProject)

  • What unique talents can I share with the world? The Tower
  • How can I trust my intuition more fully? The Hermit Rx
  • What vision for the future is awakening in me? Temperance Rx
  • Who are my friends and how do they make me feel? Page of Fire
Förhäxa Tarot

I have to admit drawing The Tower as the answer to what talents I can share with the world was a bit off putting. But when I look at the image on the card it made me think of the benefits The Tower brings, just like the benefits after a volcanic eruption. Initially the devastation seems cataclysmic, but over time, once the rebuilding starts, we realize this is an opportunity to do things differently, possibly better. How does this tie in with talents I can share with the world? I’m not actually certain but the answer that came to me is that sometimes I am like that Tower. I sometimes look at things differently and perhaps I’m able to help other people tear down things that are preventing them from seeing things more clearly and from a different perspective

The Hermit Rx suggests that the best way to trust my intuition more fully is to take that journey within myself. I need to explore the inner workings of my own psyche and forge my own way through whatever overgrowth, also known as societal conditioning, is preventing me from achieving this. I tend to see myself as a very left brained, logical, rational Swords kind of person. However a recent conversation with a dear friend has made me realize I’m not very Swordsy. I am intellectual, but in a very Wands way. The belief that I am logical and rational has always made me scoff at the idea that I might have any inherent psychic ability, and caused me to mistrust my own intuition. I think The Hermit is showing this is a journey I have to make on my own, but it’s not outside it’s within.

I see the reversed Temperance card as the second phase of The Hermit’s journey. Once I have tapped into my intuitive nature and explored my psychic talents, I think this will allow me to find an inner balance between left-brain and right-brain. I love how the image on this card has her hands up and is embracing water from both left and right sides. She is pouring it into herself; purifying herself. She’s not overwhelmed by this water but channeling it. Considering I’ve always been very open about my lack of comfort with emotions and the Cuppish realm, I find this card especially empowering because it suggests that doing this work will enable me to become more comfortable with my intuitive, emotional side, and not feel overwhelmed by it.

I had to smile when I saw the Page of Fire show up in answer to the last question because it really struck me as such a clear message. My friends are people who like to explore new ideas, and get excited about new concepts. They are people who inspire me and help light my fires when it feels like they are burning low. They are people who like to have fun and can be serious at the same time.

I really appreciate that this reading begins and ends with very fiery imagery. I think it symbolizes my journey. I start off very explosive and sometimes out of control, but through the path of The Hermit and Temperance, I learn to control my energies so that they become something I can channel in ways that are more healing and beneficial to me and to others in my life.

Week 23 -What will help me deal with the brother-in-law situation for right now?  (#TarotReading #SlavicLegendsTarot #52WeekProject)

After what happened last week with my BiL’s case, I decided this week I need to focus on concrete steps or ideas that might help me deal with this whole situation moving forward. The reality is there is nothing I can do to force things to go the way I want, so I have to change how I’m handling the situation.

What’s the next best logical, rational step? 3 of Wands

What’s the best practical step to take? 5 of Swords Rx

What spiritual step will help me most? Knight of Cups

What heart-centered step will most benefit me right now? Knight of Coins Rx

The first thing I noticed about this reading is that I drew a card from each of the four suits although interestingly none of them fall within the area of influence of the question. Two of the cards are upright and two of the cards are reversed, which is another interesting coincidence. It suggests in some areas I’m moving in the right direction while in other my options are hampered or blocked right now.

So, here is my down & dirty take on this reading. My next best logical & rational step is working with the system instead of fighting against it. The truth is my struggles have been fruitless and resulted in more moments of banging my head against wall than is good for my cranium. Now what I need to do is cooperate and let them see for themselves that the results they hope for probably won’t be achieved. They refuse to accept my take on this situation or acknowledge that I do know something about how the BiL with respond. I’ll kill them with cooperation as it were.

The best practical step I can take dovetails nicely with the previous card. The 5 of Swords Rx is showing that it’s time to put down my arms and stop fighting; it’s pointless and serves no useful purpose right now. I need to strategize and not charge in without a plan. Instead of viewing this current situation as a defeat, I need to see it as a strategic retreat to regroup and plan how to move forward again.

The spiritual step that will help me most is to find my heart’s desire; take a quest into my own feelings to see what I want to do next. This has come up for me quite often – exploring who I want to be and where I want to focus my energies in this new phase of my life. In many ways, my heart is broken and will never be the same but it still functions and it still has interests and desires to pursue. The Knight of Cups is showing that needs to be my next spiritual quest.

The Knight of Coins Rx shows that the heart-centered step will most benefit me right now is self care. I need to take practical steps to tend to my physical being. The amount of stress I’ve been dealing with since my hubby died has made it easy to put aside my own health issues. I need to make those a priority again.

So my priorities need to be focused on self-care and strategizing not creating a lot of sound and fury that isn’t going to help. This will be quite a challenge because it goes against my natural inclinations and temperament. Oh well, I guess I need to look at this as an opportunity for growth.