I would advise my younger self that I will eventually manifest the life I truly desire. I will become comfortable in my own skin and not need external validation and approval. My life will have the things I truly need to be content and happy, even if those things turn out to be markedky less “stuff” than I imagined I needed to be happy and fulfilled.
Restricting myself according to others’ rules will never serve me well. Limiting myself to meet others’ standards will frustrate me and lead to a lot of sublimation and retail therapy. Regretting instances where I let myself become ensnared is natural but letting them continue to haunt me puts the control and power in someone else’s hands. Screw that! Once free of those restraints, i need to leave them in the dust at my feet and move forward; reclaim my life and pursue my future.
What is the state of your creative life? How can you foster it?
My creative life has gone down the sewer, drifted away like an unwanted toy boat. Okay, maybe that’s a bit over the top. However, looking at the image on this card reminds me of the opening scene of It when little Georgie Denbrough chases his toy ship along the sidewalk. It disappears into the sewer and Pennywise appears, snatching Georgie. Could Georgie have avoided Pennywise if he wasn’t so desperate to reacquire his boat? Could I rediscover my creative life if I was willing to explore new ideas & methods; if I didn’t cling to what I knew before? I’m guessing the answer is “Yes”!
Temperance again! Obviously forging a new path blending past pleasures and current obligations is the option for me right now. I’ve known this for some time, but the truth is I need to make sure I carve out time for myself. I need to actually use all of the creative tools at my disposal and not just add to the collection. I need to accept that it’s healthy and beneficial to make time for myself if I want to stay sane.
Which of your creative gifts are lying dormant? How might you awaken them?
All of my creative gifts are dormant right now because I don’t have faith in them; I’m afraid to express them. One of my biggest challenges has always been to recognize my gifts and accomplishments. I fell into the mindset of believing that if I am good at something, gifted with a skill, then it mustn’t be that difficult. I also resist exploring unfamiliar territory. If I don’t think I can do something well the first time, I avoid trying it. This has limited me in a variety of ways and us something I’d like to move beyond.
I think one I’ve the ways I can awaken these dormant, unexplored creative gifts is to take breaks for myself. I recently decided to spend 15-30 minutes everyday in a mini-retreat. I will spend the time journaling or crafting, listening to music and meditating. This will enable me to shake myself loose from current, stifling patterns. I think this will help me reconnect to existing creative gifts and discover new ones.
How are the ghosts of your past still influencing your life?
The ghosts of my past, or as I like to call them – my ancestors, left me a legacy of family obligation and responsibility as well as strength and fortitude.
The women in my direct line did not domesticate well. We aren’t the best at cooking or cleaning but we’re great at taking on a lot of responsibility; at getting things done. At the same they helped me learn how to forge my own path in life; how to be strong and endure. I’ve learned to trust my own mind, even if I don’t always follow through. I realize that compromising who I am to satisfy others sucks! It’s not worth it to me and if it results in a limited social circle I’m fine with that.
So, I may need to get better at the whole finding balance thing but I have learned not to try to fit in and be like everyone else; not to do things because others expect me to do them. I may be chained by what I believe are my obligations to family but I’ve accepted that. Is it easy, hell no! However in my heart I know that this is right for me and I feel good about it.
I’m using Journaling the Tarot by Andy Matzner to come up with questions for my daily card reading. I let my Uni Tarot app randomly pull a card each day and then use that card to determine a question. Today’s card is Justice Rx so I selected this question from the options provided.
What do you need to do in order to be true to yourself?
My answer is the 6 of Wands crossed by the reversed Ace of Swords.
I need to find a challenge, a dare, a way to feel successful and appreciated. In order to achieve this I need to change my perspective; explore a new way of thinking.
Okay, that’s the abbreviated version. In Tarot Broad land that means I need to stop planning and do. Sometimes it’s too easy for me to get caught in my own head. I spend so much time thinking about and planning things that I never get around to actually doing them. The message here is to get my head out of my ass and get my ass in gear.
Of course that’s easier said than done sometimes. The reality is that there are serious limits on my mobility and flexibility, which explains why I got the Ace of Swords reversed. Clearly I need to find a new, different way of thinking about these things. I like to think of myself as unique, quirky, even a little bizarre,and yet I continue to try traditional ways of achieving my goals. I think this reading is telling me it’s time to think outside the box. Hell, it’s probably time to tear up the box all together and throw it away! Care to join me in a chorus of “I’ve got to be me”?
Changes are coming that may lead to a shift in mindset; a reassessment of where you are and where you want to be.
No matter how hard you try, you can’t escape change (trust me, I’ve tried). The best option is to try to prepare for it as best you can. Make plans so that you can get ahead of it. Consider different potential scenarios so that you can be ready to handle them. Just remember that fleeing willy-nilly is probably not the best solution.
As David Bowie once sang about changes “turn and face the strange”. Trying to escape or protect yourself from change inevitably produces failure. Instead of running away from change, try embracing it, celebrating it and seeing where it leads you.
You have all that you desire, all the wealth you ever wanted, but it isn’t providing the satisfaction you believed it would. Instead, you’re trapped by your own mind. You think you have to continue maintaining this lifestyle; to keep up with the Joneses, but is that accurate? Maybe it’s time to put that mindset behind you, remove your blinders and take a reassess your priorities.
You’re surrounded by abundance and plenty but feel as though you’ve lost your mind. You’ve lost sight of what you once believed and your view of the world. Now you’re wondering what you can do to change this situation. The reality is, accepting this is the biggest part of the struggle. if you truly wish to free yourself from this current reality all you have to do is try.
You feel as though you have so much while others around you are suffering. At the same time you feel as though you are helpless, powerless to change this situation. That is a fallacy. You’re in a uniquely perfect position to make positive changes if you choose to do so. The first step is removing your blinders and seeing yourself for the powerful, influential person you truly are. Stop merely thinking about making changes and start talking to those who can help get your message across.
Happiness, joy and emotional satisfaction are amazing but not static. Remember that clear communication is essential to maintaining this state.
Just because thing are good right now doesn’t mean you should ignore warning signs you receive. The assumption that things will always stay the way they are right this minute is a fallacy.
Be cautious and careful about what goes on behind your back. Many smart people have been caught off guard because they left their flank unprotected. Think of the times we’ve seen people brought low right after their greatest triumph, their happiest moment. Don’t take your happiness and emotional satisfaction for granted.
You tend to make yourself unhappy because instead of enjoying the good things in your life right now you bemoan what you don’t have. Rather than appreciating where you are, you bitch about how far you have to go.
You lose yourself in dissatisfaction and ennui because you don’t learn from the past. When things are not perfect you mourn rather than determining how they can be improved.
Revisiting past achievements and life experiences can help us realize how far we’ve come and how much we’ve learned. Getting lost in them only makes us unhappy and disgruntled.
It’s time to rest, draw in your energy and take a break. This gives you a chance to reassess, reevaluate and reconsider your plans. Soon, you be released and unleashed – ready to take on new projects; reenergized to discover what lies around the next curve in your road.
Be careful not to withdraw from others right now. You may have been judging yourself too harshly and, as a result, cut yourself off from those who can help you move past this tendency. Be open to listening to the advice friends and loved ones offer.
You’ve been in a period of hibernation, removing yourself from the world around you in order to better assess what you want to do next. Now it’s time to emerge again and celebrate your potential; explore what new opportunities await!