A blogging introvert – is that an oxymoron?

So, I am an introvert. This must be understood or nothing that follows will make sense. 🤔😉. I know I’m an introvert because unreliable, potentially invalid online testing told me so. 🤯 Actually, it’s not a surprise. My entire childhood was spent with my nose in a book and my body in the NY Public Library. I may be the only kid I know who had a fake library card. Several library books had been lost in a fire in our apartment and, rather than explain the circumstances to a librarian, I got a library card using my grandmother’s last name.

Now if you’ve met me you might think I’m extroverted because I can be quite opinionated and rarely have a problem expressing it. However, I am only comfortable doing so in a familiar environment. For example, at school (once I became comfortable), with friends and at events like Readers Studio. The shared element here is that I already have a built in support network of friends and co-conspirators who know and love, or at least tolerate, me. I tend not to do well among strangers or in unfamiliar environments. So, after completing several online versions of the Myers-Briggs Personality Inventory and being assessed as INFP by all of these different “tests”, I suppose that makes it official – I’m definitely introverted.

I am also a very private person. I tend not to like my personal business being shared hither and yon. Social media interactions often send me running while screaming “Ah, people!!!!” – like Gossamer, the hairy orange monster from Bugs Bunny. However, I obviously maintain a blog in which I share some very personal information with complete strangers. What the f*ck is wrong with me?!! Well, as it turns out, lots of things but not because of blogging. 😜 So, to further explores this matter I did what I often do – a Tarot reading.

I used the Lo Scarabeo Secret Tarot deck and asked:

  • What are the benefits of blogging for me?
  • What are the challenges?
  • What should I focus on with my blog?

I drew The Hanged Man Rx, The Sun Rx, and the 6 of Wands Rx. I know, look at all those reversals!

So my immediate response to these reversals is that this is truly all about me; about my internal processes and how I work through my own swampland of the soul. I don’t blog for others, I do it as a form of journaling; a way to explore the labyrinth within me. It helps me see things from a different perspective and in an objective manner. It also works for me because it doesn’t put me in the spotlight. I’ve never been comfortable being the center of attention or standing out in a crowd, unless it’s a familiar crowd. I do love if someone has gotten something useful from my meandering and tangents and let’s me know but I certainly would be uncomfortable being called out for it in public. Private”atta broads” work just fine for me.

I think I need to focus on the fact that this blog is a record of my struggles, victories and losses. I’m not trying to portray myself as a superhero, far from it. Sometimes I’m a little cuckoo and need to rant. Other times I’m thoughtful and pondering. Other times I’m outrage and frustrated. What ties all this together is that regardless if mindset, I find my Tarot deck a useful tool to help me process it all. And, if any of my processes help anyone else going through similar experiences then I’ll count that as a triumph!

#ChattingwithTarot – The Hanged Man Rx, The Chariot + 8 of Oysters Rx (#Wonderland #Tarot)

Today while sharing a cuppa tea with my #ancestors. I asked for some advice & guidance. This was their reply:

I heard “You’re wasting time, hoping for the perfect opportunity. Stop futzing around and move forward. Trust that the direction in which you’re moving is the way you’re meant to go. You’ve done a lot of hard work; sown a lot of seeds; honed your skills. Now it’s time to real the benefits and embrace your achievements.”

#TarotDaily – The Hanged Man + 4 of Cups (#AllHallows)

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What is becoming unsustainable or unbearable in your life? What is your next step?

 

Wow! Clearly, something in my life needs shaking up. I think The Hanged Man is pointing out that I’ve done enough hanging around, stuck in stasis. It’s time to see things from a different perspective; turn things on their heads.

The next step is accepting that it’s okay to be dissatisfied with how things are; to want to find the emotional fulfillment and healing I need. Acknowledging that sense of ennui and emotional stagnation is an important start.

#TarotDaily – Page of Cups + Hanged Man Rx (Radiant WS)


TarotHunter’s Salt Rounds:

  • You look deep within to discover your heart’s desire but your perceptions and viewpoint make achieving it problematic.
  • You may be young and seen as emotionally immature but others, but that is not how you see yourself. However, we can all be somewhat deluded in our self-perceptions.
  • Communing with fish and maintaining bizarre yoga poses has given you a reputation as an oddball. However you refuse to see the world through any lens but your own. You’vd learned from past experiences that while others’ perceptions may be intriguing, they won’t sway you from your course.

#TarotDaily – 6 of Wands + The Hanged Man Rx (Toscano)

TarotHunter’s Salt Rounds:

  • You believe you’re a champion but if you have to turn yourself upside down and inside out to do it, are you truly winning?
  • You’re pursuing victory using the same stale tactics. Stop resisting change and try exploring new perspectives. It might improve your chances and revitalize your mojo.
  • You’ve stripped yourself to the bone and given all you have in pursuit of your goal. When was the last time you stopped to truly enjoy what you’ve gained?

#TarotDaily – Temperance+ The Hanged Man (Deirdre)

TarotHunter’s Silver Bullets:

  • Dipping your toe into new waters can change your perspective on the possibilities and potential around you.
  • Caution before plunging ahead into something completely different and unexpected is usually a good idea. However, don’t let caution turn into paralysis.
  • Blending the old and the new, necessity and passion, can provide a more holistic and balanced approach to life. Achieving this balancing requires turning your preconceived notions on their head and seeing things from a different angle.

#TarotDaily – The Hanged Man Rx + The Wheel Rx (Grand Luxe)

Tarot Hunter’s Salt Rounds:

  • You think you’re dancing to your own tune but in reality you’re not seeing things clearly. The cycle has shifted but you haven’t adjusted yet.
  • Life is always in a state of flux and change but if we don’t adapt to the changes we risk trapping ourselves in outmoded patterns.
  • As the song says “What goes up must cone down.”. Try to accept the changes rather than getting hung up on what was or what you think things should be.

A true reflection of myself

For two days in a row I drew The Mirror card (The Hanged Man in traditional decks) from the Wildwood Tarot in my daily reading. The image shows a mermaid seeming to hold the moon in her hand while the other clutches a mirror to her breast. Her eyes are closed and she can see neither but she seems aware of both on a deep, unconscious level.

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Looking at this image I consider what it might be trying to tell me. Considering the questions I asked both day, the key element is one of changing perception, altering mindsets, looking at things from a different angle. I also get a sense of trusting your heart, your instincts, your unconscious. She speaks to me of looking at yourself and changing how you view the reflection. This became especially appropriate when I had a profound epiphany today (I do love profound epiphanies). While looking in the mirror the thought flashed across my brain that I looked beautiful. Not pretty, not nice but beautiful. I have recently gotten a haircut and was wearing a new shirt but that wasn’t why I felt this way. It was because I was in a wonderful mood. I felt fabulous inside and it was visible outside. I finally realized the meaning of the expression “true beauty comes from within”.

The truth is that my physical being changed little. I’m still overweight, fairly worn-out and wore no makeup. I know I’m attractive enough but that’s never been a major priority in my life – call me ugly I’ll shrug it off; call me stupid and them’s fighting words. Seeing myself in a different light today, truly believing I am beautiful, was powerful. How many of us go through life believing we’ll only be beautiful and acceptable if we meet some arbitrary norm. If we lose weight or dye our hair or fix our nose or get that new outfit. It doesn’t matter what the variable is, the commonality is that we believe some external factor is what will make us beautiful. In truth we already possess that quality if we can see it and believe in it. Of course the irony is that it takes maturity and wisdom to actually accept and embrace this fact. The expression “youth is wasted on the young” was coined for a reason.

That brief look in the mirror has convinced me that my attitude and mindset dramatically changes how I see myself and how I present myself to others. If I stop staring in the mirror looking for flaws and instead let myself be bathed in the radiant light of the moon, I’ll find it easier to let my inner beauty shine through. Maybe we should all stop focusing on our flaws and instead change our perspective and celebrate our gifts, embrace our inner loveliness. We all have the potential to be radiantly beautiful if we believe in ourselves. I’m going to start off taking one step at a time, day by day.

Blue Rose Tarot Hanged Man

Blue Rose Hanged Man

 

Blue Rose Tarot
Created by Paula Gibby
Published by Soul Guidance

The Book says: But the Hanged Man teaches us that this is precisely what is necessary in order to continue upon the last half of the Great Journey, where the stages become so delicate and subtle that it takes an embracing of all possibilities simply to perceive and attempt to navigate through them.

But to step out of the paradigm that today’s world wraps around us…well, it is easier said than done. A world in which the spiritual and magical hums softly, so softly just below the surface of our consciousness. And it is indeed a difficult song to hear through the stifling atmosphere of our own personal paradigms.

We humans do hate to relinquish all our “pet” beliefs, prejudices and opinions.  When we are in the middle of a paradigm, it is hard to perceive or imagine any other.  But that is precisely what must happen.

TarotBroad’s Buzz: The man in black seems to be saying “follow me and I’ll lead to you to a place you never knew existed”. All you have to do is change how you look at your world. It suggests that there is another world that exists beneath or next to our own, a world we are not usually able to see.

I find it interesting that the adult is showing the children the path to new perceptions. It has been my experience that children usually lead us to new perspectives and to question our long held beliefs. I also like the suggestion that there are layers to our reality, realities within realities, like those Russian dolls which have successively smaller dolls within the larger one. This Hanged Man is like a Monty Python skit which pokes fun at commonly held beliefs and causes us to stop and reconsider our perspective. It is that wonderful book that uses fiction as a way to shine light on something and forces us to look at it anew.

I also think the children in the card symbolize how our perspectives and attitudes change as we mature. As children we believed the Moon followed us home and watched over us but as adults we realize that is an illusion. However how many of us still cling to that belief in our heart. The Hanged Man shows us that we sometimes need to expand our boundaries and explore new perspectives. We may need to sacrifice the comfort of long-held beliefs and not allow complacency or laziness to keep us in a rut.

Transformational Tarot – Reflection

Transformational Reflection

 

Transformational Tarot
Created by by Arnell Ando
Published by US Games ISBN:1572815396

The Book says: Reflection, meditation, a time for deep contemplation. Feeling the need to sacrifice oneself for a worthy cause, or for others. Spiritual awareness obtained by letting go of outdated patterns and beliefs. The ability to perceive things from opposing viewpoints. In it’s reversed this card can warn of a tendency towards co-dependency, self-denial, playing the victim or passive/aggressive power games for persona gain.

TarotBroad’s Buzz: I found this card intriguing. The message I immediately got from it is changing your perspective – one religion’s martyr is another’s demon. Reflection forces us to pause and thing about the polarity and divisiveness we live with daily. It also asks us to stop for a moment and think before we act. It calls on us to look at things from someone else’s perspective, to transform our view of the current situation. As we see when learning history, perspective alters whether an even is “good” or “bad”. Columbus’ “discovery” of America was good to Columbus but bad for the native population. Politicians who reinforce and support our beliefs are seen as good while those espousing different viewpoints can be seen as bad. But the reality is that both may have good and bad points.

Reflection is about those shades of gray with which I personally have so many problems. I hate having to make exceptions and go beyond very simplistic views of “right” and “wrong”. Reflection shows that life is never that simple. Good and evil, right and wrong, sinner and saint are relative terms and can vary according to where you stand and what you believe. So Reflections reminds us all that sometimes we need to turn our beliefs on upside down and see if they’re still useful and healthy. And it’s also a reminder not to rush forward but to stop a minute and reflect on our beliefs, our actions and our lives.