#ChattingwithTarot – 2 of Peppermills Rx, Queen of Peppermills Rx + 6 of Hats Rx (#Wonderland #Tarot)

My ancestors message for me today:

“Find an outlet for your energy and creativity before you become bitchy, embittered and unpleasant. Reclaim your crown, your passion and your self. Revisit creative outlets that brought you joy in the past but don’t get lost in “the good old days”. They probably weren’t as golden as your memory paints them.”

#ChattingwithTarot – Queen of Hats Rx, Knight of Oysters Rx + 4 of Oysters (#Wonderland #Tarot)

Today, over a cuppa @HarneyTea Elyse Blend, I had a chat with my ancestors asking for insight and guidance. Here are their words of wisdom:

“Stop talking through your hat and plodding around in circles. No matter how hard you try, you can’t keep things in stasis. Life is all about change and you can’t prevent it, only control how it impacts your life. So listen to your heart, plot a course that allows you to feel comfortable and grounded, and get moving!”

#ChattingwithTarot – Empress Rx, 2 of Swords Rx + 4 of Cups Rx (#WizardsTarot)

Over my afternoon cuppa @HarneyTea’s wondrous Viennese Earl Grey blend, I had my chat with the Divine (today it felt rather like Grandma Burke, my paternal grandmother, decided to pay a call). Her message to me:

What I heard, “Enough already! I get it, you’re feeling frustrated and stifled because life right now requires you to focus on being nurturing and somewhat maternal – not your favorite thing. You think your creative juices are drying up from lack of use. I call bullshit! You aren’t looking at things clearly. Open up you damn eyes and see what’s really going on. See how you can change things so your creative energies find expression. Stop waiting for things to change and make it happen! Stop letting self-pity hold you down. You already know the answer so trust your instincts.”

On being an outlier

I’m an outlier, an outsider, an oddball. I often don’t fit in even with groups to which I feel I belong. There is just something under my skin that become itchy when I try to fit in; be part of the group. I often joke that my motto is “Whatever it is, I’m against it” (thank you, Groucho Marx). In reality, it isn’t a joke. Even when it comes to opinions and stances which I share, I can’t help but argue the opposite position if I feel too many have jumped on the bandwagon. I don’t like to feel that I’m part of the majority opinion.  As Groucho also once said, “I wouldn’t want to join a club that would have me as a member.”

I’m not sure why I am this way but I tend to put it down to my parents exhorting me when I was a child not to do things simply because everyone else did. They encouraged me to trust my own opinions and not to be a follower. I may carry this a bit too far. This is both a blessing and a curse, allowing me to defend my positions despite others’ attitudes but also isolating me.

In order to get some clarity about this, I did a reading for myself.

Using the Wizards Tarot, I asked:

How does being an outlier serve me? Knight of Pentacles Rx
How does it hinder me? 2 of Cups Rx
What can I do with this information going forward? The Hierophant Rx

Being an outlier has been a way of protecting myself, of isolating myself before others could exile me. Of course, this also says a lot about some of the earlier relationships I had in my life. I did have occasions where those I believed were “friends” betrayed me or mocked me. It created a very weird dynamic and made me mistrustful and extremely cautious.

This mistrust and caution have also prevented me from forming closer friendships and emotional bonds. I do have friends but they are a small, select group. I don’t really do casual friendships which may explain why Facebook made me so twitchy. To paraphrase a friend of my hubby’s, if you haven’t seen me make a complete ass of myself at least once, you aren’t really my friend.

So, going forward I need to learn from these experiences; to be willing to use it as a learning opportunity. That doesn’t mean I have to change the way I am, simply that I should be more mindful and conscious of what I’m doing and why. Perhaps this will also serve as a tool for helping others who have similar issues.

Mary Magdalene’s Truth (#WizardsTarot)

Today, while watching a show about the “lost history” of Mary Magdalene I was struck by a thought – who was she?  What was her true relationship to the man called Jesus?   I decided to ask Tarot what the truth was about her. Using the Wizards Tarot, I asked the following questions:

Who was Mary Magdalene? Knight of Cups
What was her relationship to Jesus? 6 of Swords
What was her mission, her purpose? 8 of Cups

Okay, my take. Immediately upon seeing the Knight of Cups, I was struck by the thought of “the Grail knight”. Mary Magdalene was the seeker of the heart’s truth; the one who pursued the heart’s knowledge. Perhaps she was even the protector of Jesus’ heart.

Her relationship with Jesus was one of equals both on a journey to bring new ideas and new ways of believing to others. They’re aware of the danger but are willing to take the risk because they believe it is important. They confront challenges head-on. Their partnership is one of like minds that will raise us to a new level.  It may have eventually become a more intimate relationship but in the beginning, it would seem to be a relationship of people who shared a passion for ideas and a similar mindset.

Eventually, Mary Magdalene will need to leave behind all she loves, all that brought joy to her life, in order to pursue her life’s purpose. She will need to endure the rest of her journey alone to accomplish her mission.

Taking this reading in light of many of the legends and mythos of Mary Magdalene there are a few interesting connections. Mary Magdalene is intricately woven into the mythos of the Holy Grail. In many theories she either took the chalice (the San Greal) to a secret location in the south of France; in others, she is carrying the bloodline of Jesus (the sang real). There are also apocryphal stories of the other disciples questioning why Jesus loved Mary more than them. They seemed envious and threatened by her status in Jesus’ life and ministry.

So who was Mary Magdalene?  The reality is that we may never know the “truth” in an objective, verifiable manner.  However, I think this reading shows that in an emotional and spiritual sense Mary Magdalene was Jesus’ equal partner; the one who carried on his true work and teachings. She kept the heart of Jesus’ message alive and moving forward.

The Body Never Lies (#TarotfromtheDarkSide)

I’ve been reading Alice Miller’s “The Body Never Lies” I felt it resonate within me. In the book, Miller addresses the damage abusive parenting can cause in our lives. Specifically, she connects diseases in adulthood, ranging from asthma to mental illness, to harsh, cruel parenting styles. Miller uses the histories of well-known writers to support her theories and, while I think she makes some overly enthusiastic leaps of logic, her premise rings true.

One of the points Miller makes that I find intriguing is that we block these abuses from our memories because adherence to the 4th Commandment (honor thy father and mother) is so prevalent in our society that we don’t even realize its impact. We can’t reconcile our need to honor our parents with the realities of the abuses we experience and this manifests in physical and mental ailments. Our souls and psyches are broken on the wheel of obedience to our parents’ wills and societal demands that we honor our abusers.

I know in my own life I was frequently told not to speak ill of my parents; that I didn’t’ understand what they had gone through. Depending upon my age and attitude at the time I might ignore the comments or I might choose to unleash a rage-filled diatribe against the offender, explaining to him or her that they were talking out their ass. In some respects I consider myself blessed because I seem to lack that personality trait that requires me to absolve my parents of their sins against me. I may have learned to forgive my parents but it doesn’t ameliorate the abuses to which they subjected me. However, my goal here is not to revisit these abuses or even to explore Miller’s theories. Instead, I want to use Tarot to explore my own responses to this childhood abuse and how I can heal from it.

So my question is: How have childhood traumas impacted me:
Physically? Dancer of Money & the Material World
Emotionally? Muse of Self
Psychologically? Sage of Money & the Material World Rx
How can I move forward and heal this damage? Muse of Money & the Material World Rx


Looking at these cards the initial message I receive is that as a result of my childhood experiences I have a chip on my shoulders; always struggling not to lose myself beneath the weight of those experiences. I can also be emotionally closed off and protective of my heart. At the same time, I am willing to keep struggling uphill and I’m comfortable exploring those dark places within myself; to explore my shadow side. I’ve also put a lot of time and effort into mastering and exploring my psyche so the damage has been exposed, explored and expunged.

Moving forward, I think the key to dealing with this is to remember that it is in the past, it can’t hurt me anymore. I know how to balance the anger and betrayal I feel towards my parents because of those traumas against the love I genuinely do bear them. I can understand some of what damaged them and lead to this abuse but that doesn’t exonerate them. I think the primary difference between my experience and those Alice Miller writes about is that I never accepted it was okay. I never forgot or tried to downplay those memories. I was also fortunate enough to have a husband who bore witness and reinforced that I had every right to hate my parents for what they did to me. So, although I am certainly damaged by my childhood trauma I have also healed and learned to move forward.

#TarotDaily – Knight of Cups + Ace of Pentacles Rx (#WizardsTarot)

Lately, I have been feeling rather uninspired and lackluster. Usually, I would write this off as a touch of post Readers’ Studio deflation. After spending so many days with friends and fellow Tarot enthusiasts, returning to the real world causes some culture shock. This year, after the interesting Peter Pan reading we did during George Khoury’s workshop, it feels a bit worse. Perhaps this is because I focused on things I enjoyed as a child, and things I still enjoy as an adult, but which I’ve been ignoring. This was further supported by reading one of SARK’s daily inspirations from her Living Juicy book which reinforced the benefits of play. So I figured I would ask my tried and true tool, the Tarot how I can feel juicier.

What will help me feel juicier, more fun? Knight of Cups

What challenges or supports me? Ace of Pentacles Rx

Of course! Why am I not entirely surprised by this response? Because I am once again asking the Tarot something for which I really already know the answer. I suppose I needed the positive reinforcement. I need to find my heart’s desire and actually do it instead of being a lazy lump.

Sometimes I can get so caught up in adding more stuff to my collections, that I forget to actually use them. I have coloring books, colored pencils, markers, rubber stamps, different types of paper and yet instead of playing with them, I keep scouring online sources for additional materials. My hoarding tendencies are kicking into overdrive. I think this reading is the Universe reminding me that the joy comes from actually playing with my supplies, not merely adding more stuff to the cache.