How are you undervaluing yourself? What can you do in order to get what you deserve?
Hmm, it appears that I don’t appreciate things at which I have some expertise or mastery. I might have mentioned several times in the past that I often view my accomplishments as something easily dismissed as not difficult to achieve. I think that’s the message the reversed King of Wands is giving me – undervaluing my skills equals undervaluing myself. Not appreciating what I’ve accomplished in my life makes it seem as though I don’t count; have little to offer.
The reversed Six of Pentacles shows that although it’s nice to be generous, giving away too much undermines the worth of my skills and gifts. Unfortunately many people associate value with cost; being overly generous with my gifts sends the message to others that my skills are of little value. If I don’t value my gifts and skills, consider them worthy, then how can I expect others to do so?
How do you measure your self-worth? Is that something that needs to change?
Hmm, so do I measure my self-worth based upon my journey; seeking out new experiences and sensations? Am I like the voyage of the original Starship Enterprise – “seeking out new life and new civilizations; boldly going where no man has gone before”? I dunno, maybe. I remember a former mentor telling me that when she was younger her focus was on acquiring possessions, but as she got older her focus changed to acquiring experiences. I think I’m still transitioning but I feel the shift in focus occuring.
I’m definitely on a journey and I enjoy the journey. I feel I’ve learned a lot about myself but so much more remains unexplored. Clearly, I still have work to do on releasing my emotional attachment to things that need to be let go. I’m often reluctant to get rid of toys or books or other items that represent hobbies I have moved beyond. I worry that I will regain interest in the hobby and once I get rid of these items I will not be able to reacquire or replace them. Perhaps in order to continue moving forward I need to seriously look at releasing some of these things so they’re no longer weighing me down; holding me back.
How are the ghosts of your past still influencing your life?
The ghosts of my past, or as I like to call them – my ancestors, left me a legacy of family obligation and responsibility as well as strength and fortitude.
The women in my direct line did not domesticate well. We aren’t the best at cooking or cleaning but we’re great at taking on a lot of responsibility; at getting things done. At the same they helped me learn how to forge my own path in life; how to be strong and endure. I’ve learned to trust my own mind, even if I don’t always follow through. I realize that compromising who I am to satisfy others sucks! It’s not worth it to me and if it results in a limited social circle I’m fine with that.
So, I may need to get better at the whole finding balance thing but I have learned not to try to fit in and be like everyone else; not to do things because others expect me to do them. I may be chained by what I believe are my obligations to family but I’ve accepted that. Is it easy, hell no! However in my heart I know that this is right for me and I feel good about it.
You’re feeling torn and conflicted, unsure which path to choose. Part of you wants stability and emotional satisfaction while another side wants to be more daring and seek out physical gratification. In the battle between heart and body, which will win.
You dream of a knight in shining armor who will sweep you off your feet but all you’ve encountered so far are well meaning plodders caught up in the day to day grind. Perhaps you’re so caught up in your fantasy that you aren’t seeing things clearly. Your expectations might be unreasonable and unrealistic, leaving you few options and little opportunity for a fulfilling relationship.
Do you feel disconnected from your physical self? Are you more comfortable with emotional connections than physical ones? This separation between heart and body can lead to relationship and even health issues down the road. Now might be a good time for some introspection, journal work and physical activities like yoga or Tai chi to help reintegrate these different parts of yourself.
Soaring through the night sky, adrift in her dreams, the seeker remembered. Childhood memories filled with laughter and joy; fond moments of quiet tenderness and being together. This is what supported her during her quest. Those loving, piercingly sweet memories sustained her when she felt alone and lost in her thoughts. Her desire to build new memories fueled her drive towards the future.
She sat alone in the dark trying to connect with her dreams, saddened to realize they were lost. Instead of soaring high supported by exciting ideas and intriguing thoughts, her head was filled with to do lists, meetings and schedules. She was in a position of authority but felt stultified, stagnant. Her spark, her inspiration, her passion for what she did had been doused beneath the mantle of obligation and responsibility.
She crackles with energy but can’t channel it. Her inspiration has flown leaving her feeling at loose ends. She has drive and energy and passion but it’s blocked, stifled, dimmed. It’s as if her pilot light has gone out and she can’t reignite it.
She needs a project, an outlet for her creative fire. Her energy isn’t scattered, just unfocused. Once she finds a way to express her fire, an amazing creative force will be unleashed. Or maybe she needs to get laid?
Look deep within yourself, in those dark places you prefer to avoid, and ask what is motivating your behavior right now? What is driving you on your current path?
You spend a lot of time judging yourself and others. Why? What purpose does it serve? Perhaps the only thing you’re accomplishing by these actions is to smother your creative drive. Maybe it’s time to focus less on judging and more on creating & doing.
You’ve let the negative judgments of others douse your creativity, your passion, your drive. Instead of listening to those critics – both inner and outer, refocus on what excites you, inspires you and ignites your creative juices.
If you really want to free yourself from addictive or unhealthy behaviors then be smart about it. Seek out advice from trusted friends and advisors and listen to them.
The only way to truly slay inner demons is to face them head on. Denial and avoidance only allow negative situations to linger and grow stronger. Take up your sword, face the truth and then seek out a path through it.
We all have a shadow side, that somewhat frightening and rather unappealing part of our nature. Ignoring it will not weaken or banish it. Instead, try facing it head on. Use your wits and intellect and learn to embrace it rather than letting fear guide you. Made that side of your psyche work for you not against you.