Dealing with a nightmare neighbor (#TarotReading #PearlsofWisdomTarot)

So, I’m having a problem with a neighbor over a small piece of property that belongs to me. She, however, feels that it is part of her property and has decided to try staking her claim by putting a chair on my property as though marking her territory. She’s never directly confronted me. Although, when I questioned her about what she was doing on the property, she did become rather verbally aggressive telling me she would not speak to me, and I should call the police. So I did. Naturally, it proved futile because she still behaves as if it’s her property.

Her property is to the left of the water, mine is to the right. The chair inside the fence, on the right side, is my neighbor’s.

I was becoming very stressed out by this. Headaches, anxiety, nervous stomach all decided to pay me a visit. One consistent trait I possess is that I’m very outwardly expressive when it comes to anger, I don’t internalize it. I sometimes joke that if depression is anger turned inward, I won’t suffer from it because I prefer to turn my anger outward. This situation, however, was getting the best of me. So I decided to do something about it because it had become intolerable and unacceptable.

When I find myself in times of trouble, Tarot always comes to me. So I did what I always do when I need clarification, I pulled cards! First I asked the Morrigan (my Matron goddess) “What is my neighbor’s problem? Then I asked my husband “How should I handle this?” And finally I asked my ancestors for additional insight or clarification. Here are my answers;

Pearls of Wisdom Tarot : King of Cups, Strength, 8 of Wands

The Morrigan showing me my neighbor’s problem as the King of Cups suggests to me that this woman would benefit from therapy. I’ve seen her in other circumstances and she becomes easily agitated and emotionally overwrought, disproportionate to the situation. She definitely gives off a vibe of an out of control neighbor who could easily cross the line into potentially harmful confrontations.

My husband sending me the Strength card as the answer to how I should handle this is just so true to who he was, and how he saw me. This is John sending me support, and letting me know that I’m strong enough to handle this. I shouldn’t let this get the best of me. I don’t need to become aggressive in this situation, I just need to stay calm, not lose my cool, and do whatever is necessary legally to make sure that this is cleared up.

The final card, additional insight from my ancestors, is the 8 of Wands. As soon as I saw this image the first thing I thought of was people plugging in to a tree or waterway (appropriate, as this property is along an arm of a lake). That made me think of restoring myself by plugging in to the nature that’s surrounds me. Letting myself just relax by watching the squirrels and the birds and the other critters coexisting on this property. When I shared this reading with two friends, they both also pointed out that it could also symbolize plugging into my support network and my community so that I know I’m not dealing with this alone.

This reading really helped me get a better handle and different perspective on this entire situation. I feel much calmer and much better able to handle it in a non-stress-inducing way. I’ve decided she can play all the games she wants and each time she puts that chair on my property I will remove it again. If she involves the police, I will just calmly explain that it’s my property and, unless she can prove otherwise, I’m going to remove anything on there that isn’t mine. In the meantime, I will figure out a way to put up a barrier or some type so she can’t access it anymore. Simple but clear steps that should prove effective.

I hope anyone reading this enjoyed the journey through my mini near breakdown. While I hope none of you need to deal with a similar situation, if you do, I hope this post will prove helpful in some small way.

ADDENDUM: I had a bit of an epiphany after posting this. 💡 I realized that although the King of Cups can indeed suggest that this neighbor would benefit from therapy; I think it’s also pointing out is that she is a master emotional manipulator. Now, that might not be the right interpretation for other people, but I have always had a problem with the suit of Cups. I would prefer to get Swords in a reading for myself over Cups any day (it’s my issue, I’m dealing with it). The point is, in my own readings, I often see the Cups Court cards as representing some type of emotional manipulation. As Mel Brooks said in History of the World, Part I “it’s good to be the king”. 👑 She enjoys the sense of power that playing these kinds of games gives her. To take away that power, I need to stop responding the way I have been. I need to remove myself from her little emotional games. I can’t believe I didn’t see that before! 🤦‍♀️

Anniversary Gift (#PearlsofWisdomTarot #TarotReading #HealingJourney

Today would have been my 36th wedding anniversary, and my first without John. I miss him in ways I can’t fully describe. I’m still getting used to functioning without him; learning to adapt and adjust. Every so often I still get teary, in fact it’s happening now, but overall I’m learning how to be without him. I’ve always wondered if I could live independently because when I married John I moved from living with my parents to living with him. I was never fully independent or forced to deal with things on my own. Now I am and, although I’m proud I’m doing well, I wish I didn’t have to learn that answer.

I decided to pull two Tarot cards reflecting what anniversary gifts John would like to give me this year. Using the vibrant & joyful Pearls of Wisdom Tarot, I drew the 4 of Cups reversed and 3 of Pentacles

As soon as I saw this I understood my husband’s message. Looking at the 4 of Cups, I immediately heard the lyrics from the song Jesus sings in the Garden of Gethsemane in Jesus Christ Superstar, “take this cup away from me tried for 3 years seems like 30”. The cup in this case is my brother-in-law Edward, who is deaf and developmentally disabled. I have been his primary caregiver since 2009. It was difficult enough when I had John here to help, but for the past year it’s been exhausting and overly stressful. John is telling me that soon the cup will be taken away from me, the responsibility removed from my hand, and that he’s watching over me and helping in any way that he can.

The 3 of Pentacles is John pointing out that once I have my freedom I can start exploring new learning opportunities and new experiences. I can go back to school or take classes to acquire new skills. My future will be under my own control. I can build the future that I want, and I have John’s love and support to do that.

The amazing thing about our relationship is that John fully supported me in whatever I wanted to do. He was my biggest cheerleader, even if he thought what I was doing was not a good idea. He let me make my mistakes and then gave me a bit of an I told you so but didn’t gloat. We often spoke about what might happen if he pre deceased me, not that we expected it to happen when it did. He was always clear with me and anyone else he discussed these issues with that he did not want me to be trapped caring for Edward for the rest of either of our lives. As much as I care for Edward, and want to see him in a safe nurturing environment, I can’t provide that for him. So this is John giving me his stamp of approval for taking steps to find some place Edward can be cared for in a way that will best serve him. It’s truly the best gift John could have given me.

Working through my loss (#TarotReading #PearlsofWisdomTarot)

The one year anniversary of my husband’s death is next week. On one hand, I can’t believe it’s been a year. On the other, hand it feels like he’s been gone far longer than that. My husband and I were together for 38 years when he died and it was very challenging learning how to deal with things on my own. I didn’t realize how many things he took care of for the both of us. I’m sure it would have been the same situation if I had died and he lived because we tended to divide up our responsibilities that way. There’s something both terrifying and reassuring about the fact that I’m able to handle a lot of this without John even if I wish I didn’t have to.

April 1, 1986 is the day John and I went down to City Hall in New York and applied for our marriage license. 36 years ago – seems like such a long time ago and yet I remember it like it was yesterday. In honor of this anniversary I pulled two cards from my Tarot deck while asking John for a message. This was his response

John’s message using Pearls of Wisdom Tarot

Seeing these cards I burst into tears because they are truly both such John energies, especially as they pertained to the way he cared for in about me. The Chariot suits John for many reasons: it’s his birth card; he was a car guy who loved tinkering with his vehicles; and he refused to let anyone else tell him what to do. He steered the course of his life, for better and worse. With this card John is reminding me that I need to be sure to take up the reins and guide my life going forward. I can certainly seeks advice and guidance from others, but I’m the charioteer now.

The 9 of Pentacles is John’s way of reminding me he always wanted to be sure I would be in a good financial place if anything happened to him. He has definitely done this. In fact, he could have retired but he continued to work. He wanted to be sure there would be enough in his pension to take care of me if something happened to him. Ironically that is what happened. He is visually showing me that he wants me to enjoy what I have and the time I have left. He wants me to be happy and healthy and take care of myself. I think the best way to honor John’s memory is to do that