Wheel of Change Tarot
created by Alexandra Gennetti
Published by Destiny Books, 1997

The Book says: When the Lovers card appears in a reading, it indicates recognition of what is self and what is other in the context of a relationship. The card is a symbol of partnership and collaboration, but also of the division and isolation we sometimes feel in relationships. The Lovers represents any relationship in which the parties to the action are partially or wholly defined in the context of their interaction. For example, a buyer and seller can exist only in the relationship they form by their interaction; one cannot exist without the other, and the terms of sale become meaningless.

TarotBroad’s Buzz: This card reminds me of a yin-yang symbol – the combined forces of light and dark, of positive and negative. Both are separate yet together.

This does describe a successful, healthy relationship. Each partner should remain an individual while at the same time both are part of this new creation called “the relationship”. We have all seen relationships where one partner’s personality becomes subsumed by the other partner’s and by the relationship. They lose all sense of themselves, of being an individual. As a result if the relationship ends the partner becomes lost and unsure how to proceed. This card symbolizes the importance of keeping your integrity while still being able to blend your energies with that of someone else.

This Lovers card reminds me of how we are changed slightly depending upon the relationship we are in. There are different facets of ourselves revealed in a work relationship versus a family relationship versus a romantic relationship. We may all be slightly different people on this list than we would be on any other list. Something about the synergy between ourselves and the other partners in the relationship creates a different whole. The Lovers in this deck also reminds us of the importance of integrating the different aspects of ourselves to create a healthy and happy whole. We all have light and dark sides but if we ignore either of these aspects we create imbalance in our lives.

I am reminded of an episode of the classic Star Trek series when a transporter malfunction splits Captain Kirk into two distinctly different personalities. One is aggressive, violent and passionate, while the other is compassionate, calm and thoughtful. Over the course of the episode Kirk and the others come to realize that if these two aspects of his personality are not reintegrated, both with die. So no matter how ugly or repulsive the more aggressive persona might have seemed, without it Captain Kirk could not function as the commander of the Enterprise. This lesson is symbolized by this Lovers card. Light without dark, positive without negative creates an unhealthy situation. Even physics reminds us that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Our goal is to learn to blend and explore these energies in a healthy, loving way.