What do I need in my life right now? Ace of Stones (Wildwood)

Wildwood Ace of Stones

This makes so much sense to me.  I need to reconnect with the physical world.  Over the last few years of caring for the in-laws I’ve relegated my own needs to the back burner (of a stove in the seventh basement of hell).  I haven’t been eating right.  I’ve let my clothes become rather shoddy and worn.  I haven’t even bought new makeup in over 5 years.  I realize that I don’t need to “dress for success” while being a stay-at-home caregiver but I should still make the effort to be presentable, for myself if no one else.

The labyrinth that decorates the standing stone on this card also tells me that I need to get to the core of who I am.  I need to walk that pathway and find my way back to the real me.  I’ve lost sight of her and I miss her.  The first step is to work on improving my outer appearance.  It’s time to fix my hair and get some new makeup.  I need to focus on rebuilding my wardrobe so that it works for who I am now.  I have a closet filled with items that were once very useful and appropriate to the person I was then but aren’t very practical for now.  Suits and business pieces are useless when most days I barely leave the house.

On some level I feel that focusing on the external is shallow but I realize that it sends a message that I’m worth taking the time and making the effort.  If the only time I bother with my appearance is when I’m expecting to see other people, then I’m telling my psyche that I’m not important; I don’t count.  The first step to combating that mindset is to take the time to dress and tend to my appearance.  An occasional pajama day is fine but when it becomes the norm it means I’m sinking into a terrible rut.  I’m tired of being wrapped in ennui and self-defeat.  I need to start caring for myself body as well as soul and this is the first step.

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