Yesterday I over-indulged somewhat on wine. Between my excitement about trying out my new accessory (a wine aerator) and the my desire to drink some of the new bottles of wine I’ve acquired., I had more to drink than was wise. On the plus side, my new aerator is cool and does what it promises. On the down side, I drank too much too quickly and ended up crashing and burning. A few drinks also loosens me up and I end up calling people I haven’t spoken to in a while (this is both good and bad). Last night I called two friends I haven’t spoken to in about a year for a variety of reasons. It was nice to speak with them and I remember the conversations so I know I wasn’t too embarrassing but this is a nasty habit I sometimes have. There are times when I drunk dial people and end up making a ass of myself (well a bigger ass then I might have without the influence of alcohol). This then leads to beating myself up and castigating myself. So I decided to ask the Tarot what lesson I can take away from this experience.
I drew the 8 of Swords reversed and looking at this bronze figure wearing a blindfold and with her hands restrained behind her back I was struck by the concept that when I drink too much I apply restraints on myself. As a result of these chemical restraints I don’t have a clear view of my behavior and I end up becoming angry at myself because I might have done something stupid or insulting. I end up regretting my behavior and avoiding the people I’ve called. I also don’t have any wine for a while. Then I end up repeating the cycle again because I feel lonely and disconnected. It’s a ridiculous pattern and one I can easily break from if I simply exert a little sense.
So the lesson for me here is that I need to stop restraining myself and repeating this pattern. There is nothing wrong with having a few drinks but I need to pace myself better and make sure I eat something. I also need to accept I will call folks because there are times when I want to talk to others but I don’t need to wait until I’ve had a few drinks to do it. Most of the people seem happy enough to hear from me. The only thing that stops me is my own self-doubts – another self-imposed restriction.
So I need to remove the restraints and get a clearer look at the reality of the situation. If people don’t want to talk they won’t answer the phone. If I want to have a few glasses of wine, that’s great but I don’t need to finish the bottle. Very simple lessons now let’s hope I can actually learn them this time.