Looking at these cards two elements stuck out – the bird on the woman’s arm in the 10 of Swords and the reflection on the Knave of Chalices. My initial response was that I want to soar with the eagles (or at least I think I do) but can’t and I feel like I don’t know myself anymore. These factors could certainly contribute to confusion.
The 10 of Swords shows a beautiful image of a young woman holding her arm up to a golden bird. Is she releasing it or calling it? I’m not sure. I like to think she’s releasing it; unleashing her ideas and message to the world. Barbara Moore offers this interpretation of the card when reversed: “Reliving heartache by refusing to let go”. Considering these two elements perhaps some of the confusion manifesting in my life right now is that I can’t unleash my message. Hell, I’m not even sure I know my message any more. My ideas and ability to communicate with others have atrophied to the point that I’m not sure what they are anymore. It’s hard to develop a message or express ideas while wiping someone’s butt.
The Knave of Chalices peers into her reflection cast in a pool of water. The reflection is ripply and unclear, almost more illusion than reflection. Can she be sure what she sees? That’s how I feel about myself right now. I have no idea who I am. My reflection is unclear and indistinct. I feel like a rather amorphous blob with undefined boundaries. No wonder I’m confused.
These two cards suggest that the confusion is manifesting because my inability to let go of the past and move on has prevented me from creating a fully formed and articulated new me. I’m burred and undefined because I haven’t fully let go of Old Debbie and that prevents me from molding a new me.
I can’t say this is very surprising but it does clarify some things.