In honor of the full moon in Leo which starts today, I’ve changed decks.  So I’ll be using the Book of Shadows As Above Tarot for the next few days.

For today’s reading I drew Yule (Death in more traditional decks) and the 7 of Water.  In some Pagan traditions, Yule is a time to celebrate the rebirth of the sun as well as signifying the power shift from the Holly King to the Oak King (or the Waning Year to the Waxing Year).  In the companion book Barbara Moore describes this time of year as one of faith.  We have faith that the sun will return and grow stronger; that the cold will soon be defeated by the warm of the sun.

In some Nordic Pagan traditions Yule honors the New Year (sort of).  Celebrations focus on the family and community, honoring mothers and remembering the ancestors as well as sharing tales of heroes and gods.

That is all well and good but how does it answer my question?  That’s easy – one of the ways I have realized I nurture love in my life (especially with the hubby) is that we have shared memories and experiences.  We regularly revisit neighborhood myths as well as our own memories.  We still talk about family, friends, and pets that have passed on and we keep their memories alive in our hearts.  This also helps us strengthen the bonds we share.  Having similar childhood experiences and growing up in the same terroir are nothing to sneeze at.  We understand each other at a deep level because we know how each other grew up and what the norms were in our neighborhood.

The 7 of Water shows Ma’at sitting before her scale with a feather ready to weigh a soul.  I think in this reading Ma’at is a reminder that to keep a loving relationship healthy one should be careful not to weigh one’s partner’s offenses with a heavy hand.  All relationships have rough patches, ugly spots and bad fights.  The only way to keep the relationship going is to truly forgive.  If you say the words but don’t actually mean them, the hard feelings built up and eventually tilt the balance.  The pile of bad stuff sends the relationship off-balance and we risk becoming focused on being right rather than being happy.  I realize there are some grievances that are unforgivable (and that will vary from person to person) but if you decide to forgive your partner then you need to release that negative energy.  If you clutch it to your breast and wait until the next offense to trot it out as “proof” that you are the one in the right you undermine the love that exists between you and tear it out at the roots.

I can’t count the times I’ve seen couples go through a rough patch (often involving infidelity) and the aggrieved partner claims to have forgiven the offender.  There is a happy reunion when all hurts are forgotten.  Then a few months down the road a minor argument explodes out of control and the aggrieved throws the offender’s betrayal at him/her.  Eventually the offender stops trying and either returns to those cheating ways or just withdraws from the relationship emotionally and physically.  Neither partner is happy.  So I think Ma’at is reminding me that I should judge my hubby’s “wrongs” with the same light touch I hope he will judge mine.