The Banshee and Herne – quite a combo.  Can you imagine if they dated?  Okay, seriously seeing these two cards together was a bit jarring but they also fit different aspects of my personality.  Sometimes I see the court cards as representing other people in my life but this time I believe their reversed natures symbolize aspects of myself.

The Queen of Swords (Banshee) is powerful and a bit frightening.  She wails at the impending death of loved ones and warns us that something unpleasant is coming.  She is a harbinger of truth, regardless of how harsh.  I can see this representing me – I have been known to wail unpleasant truths to people.  Reversed, she can also point out that I need to start listening to that voice telling me unpleasant truths in my head.  There are things  I “know” are in my best interests and yet I avoid them.  Common sense, logic and knowledge combine to tell me I need to make changes and yet I resist.  I duck the matter and continue on my unhealthy path.  She is my brain shrieking to me that if I don’t get off the “drugs” (i.e. unhealthy foods), I’m going to destroy myself.  Of course this sounds more melodramatic than it is but the reality is that current unhealthy decisions will have long-term impact on my health when I’m a senior and by then it will be too late to fix things.

The King of Wands reversed is showing that I’m letting myself get twisted up and held back by patterns, habits and my own over-intellectualizing.  I also get the sense that I’m constraining my creative side and holding myself back.  What might happen if I break free?  If I finally convince myself to do the things are know are best for me?  Why am I so scared to do that?  I have no idea.

For most of my life I think I’ve been a re-actor.  I define or model myself based on reactions to what is going on around me.  Unfortunately this often means that when I’m encouraged to do something I resist with all my might.  Tell me I can’t do and I have to prove you wrong.  Maybe I’m an early, undiagnosed case of Oppositional Defiance Disorder.  I don’t have the answers right now but some interesting questions have now come up and I need to consider them.