No earth-shattering kaboom! but lots of small tremors (Queen of Pentacles R + The Tower R – Deviant Moon)

Deviant Moon Queen of Pentacles Deviant Moon Tower

 

On some level I have been paying more attention to my own well-being. I’m trying to focus more on my health, appearance and need to “me” time. It’s almost impossible to focus on anything while I’m caring for the relatives. They demand too much of my time and attention. By the time I get home I’m exhausted and just want to get to bed. So I need to figure out something that works for me. This has been an ongoing battle for me and I’m still trying to figure out a practical strategy.

The Tower reversed can indicate a few things. It can be trying to warn me that some crucial insight that will help me work through some of this stuff is being ignored or missed. It might be telling me that a dramatic, earth-shattering internal change is coming and I might want to get ready for it. Or it maybe be reminding me that despite all the dramatic, earth-shattering changes I’ve already experienced in my life no one else shares these experiences (well except the hubby).

It’s one of the toughest things to accept about this situation – no one else is impacted by it the way we are. No one else really cares (well that’s a bit harsh and an overstatement but I think you get my point). Others care because they care about me or because we always care when another human is suffering but it’s a different level of concern and involvement. The other people who should be as impacted by this (other children, grandchildren, etc.) are not here. They don’t even check on things. That is a bitter pill to swallow. It’s also caused a dramatic shift in how I perceive those family members. It might not cause an “earth-shattering kaboom” (as Marvin the Martian might say) but it’s definitely created a shift if my view of them and of how our society handles aging and disabilities too.

Who knows, maybe somewhere down the road I’ll find these become priorities that cause me to become involved in ways that just aren’t possible right now. Maybe instead of one major Tower moment, this card is showing the many minor Tower moments I’ve experienced and reminding me not to minimize their impact on my life, my perceptions and even my health.

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