I haven’t journaled about my daily Tarot card readings for several weeks now. Dealing with the in-law situation has consumed my time. I’ve pulled cards (and needless to say they’ve been interestingly accurate) but haven’t had the time or energy to write about them. Today I am feeling a bit more breathing room.
I also decided to stop using two different decks. I’m going to focus on one deck at a time and swap them out at each new moon. As time goes on I may discover that I can release more decks to new homes. As much as I like the decks I own, I’m feeling a need to only keep ones I will actually use. Otherwise they become attractive nuisances.
Looking at these two cards I realized that part of my life right now combines a desire to move forward and take control of the situation; to manifest my will along with a need to be protective and guard the ones for whom I care. I am both the Magician, working on creating my own reality and the High Priestess who is helping guide and guard my mother-in-law through this transition in her life. I’m also learning about – about myself, about aging and possibly even about dying. Sometimes it’s just not easy to share with others because it’s too personal and too revealing but it’s no less powerful.
In the US I see a lot of folks talk about dying with dignity and aging. Let me tell you I have come to realize that the only thing that can truly help us face either or both of these situations with any true hope is a social network. I’m convinced that part of the reason my mother-in-law is suffering from mental deterioration is because her family (except for her son and me) don’t visit or call or spend any time with her. Her siblings are either gone or equally out of touch and her childhood friends have long since passed away and she found it difficult to make new ones (for a variety of reasons). If I learn nothing else from this experience it is that maintaining an active and supportive network of friends and family is essential for aging in a healthy and happy way.