My need to be creative, productive, and nurturing is battling with my need to be alone. I know exactly what this means. This weekend I’m scheduled to spend the weekend with friends in a creativity, brainstorming and support fest. We’re planning to help each other develop our professional sides and develop a creative and thriving business. we are each trying to set up businesses that will allow us to be flexible, prosperous and tap into our somewhat unorthodox interests.
My goal is to build a business as a professional Tarot reader. I’ve already taken some steps towards achieving that goal but I know there is more that I can do. Part of my challenge is simply that my family obligations don’t leave me with a lot of free time to schedule potential customers. So I haven’t put that out there yet. What I need to figure out is what I can do in the meantime.
For the last two days I’ve been having second thoughts about going. I’m feeling anxious about attending and spending time with these women. I’m not sure why. Sometimes I do develop a deep desire for solitude and my introverted side becomes very prominent. Sleepovers have always caused me a certain amount of anxiety. As a child I often called my mother halfway through the night to pick me up. I eventually was able to control the urge to do this but whenever I am staying away from home the anxiety returns.
Whichever choice I make, hopefully I’ll learn something useful and transformative from the experience. I suppose the most important factor is not which choice I make but how I use my time once I’ve made it. I can attend this weekend and keep myself blocked and resistant resulting in nothing useful being gained. I could stay home and do some exercises, research and actually use listen to some of the podcasts and tapes I’ve got. Who knows how I’ll feel in a day or two? I may shift back into extrovert mode and this will become a moot point.