Am I listening to the world around me? The Lovers & Death R (Bohemian Gothic & Vampire)

 

As David Bowie once sang “I’m going through changes.” Of course this is no surprise, we’re all always going through changes of one type or another. However I think this time it’s more complicated.

The first thing that struck me about this reading is that both cards and Majors and both are reversed. I’m obviously getting my insides a bit shaken up here. In response to the initial question, perhaps I’m not listening to world around me. I get the sense that before I’ll be able to do that, I need to make some serious choices about my path in life and my priorities and then I need to make some changes based on these choices. For two Major Arcana cards to appear, I have to guess this can be a major life lesson. Then again, lately everything in my life is becoming a life lesson.

When everything in your life gets turned on its head, including things you think you know about yourself, it often proves to be a life lesson. Who I have always been (or at least the persona I have often projected to the world) is shifting and mutating. I am getting the feeling that the life I left behind (being a manager at a non-profit organization, holding down a 9-5 type job) is gone for good. I don’t see me returning to the traditional workforce any time soon and that scares the hell out of me. I like boundaries and clearly defined rules and expectations. Unfortunately I’m lousy at imposing them on myself. So what to do? What to do?

Well I guess it’s time to face some truths – I need to find another way to generate income by doing something I enjoy (hopefully). I keep blathering on about finding a way to put myself out there as a Tarot reading. I have a feeling I’m going to need to figure that out and soon. I’ve also been getting a sense that I need to keep working with my dreams and spirit guides. I enjoyed the shamanic workshop I took but then let those skills become fallow. I never used them. The same thing happened with my Reiki training. Before I make any plans to move forward, I need to starting working with what I already know.

It’s appropriate that Death appeared in this reading because I have a feeling it’s time to reconnect with my ancestors and perhaps do some work with the dead. I don’t see myself becoming a medium any time soon but that doesn’t mean I would gain some useful insights and experience if I explored that path a bit.

Damn! The bottom line is that I already know what I need and want to do, what I need to choose, change and transform in my life is taking the steps to actually do them.

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