I am feeling a bit restless and antsy lately. My energies have been extremely under-utilized and it’s starting to show. I’m feeling defensive, as though I need to explain myself to people and I’m not sure why. Well okay, full disclosure – I do know why. When one has two masters degrees and is not actively seeking employment in a traditional job, one feels the need to justify this decision. Of course this says more about me than about the people who might dare to ask me that kind of question. Added to this is the fact that I’ve been avoiding taking any steps to advance the field in which I’d like to make a living. Most of that is due to my own insecurities and feelings of inadequacy.
This past weekend at the Goshen Psychic Fair, I was chatting with fellow Tarot readers and the brilliant Sasha Graham, the Tarot Diva, said something so simple an so profound that it blew me away. She said (and I’m paraphrasing) that you can’t give a bad Tarot reading as long as you keep the focus on the querent. Everyone loves to hear about themselves. In my 7 of Wands defensiveness, I’ve often felt the need to show my knowledge and skills so that they’ll understand I know what I’m talking about. In reality, especially for many people coming to a psychic fair or getting their first reading, they can’t be sure whether I know anything or not. And quite a number of them probably don’t care. They want to feel that I’ve given them some insight into themselves or helped them find an answer. That can be done without a lot of the explanatory stuff I have tended to include. I think I was boring them with bullshit instead of dazzling them with my brilliance. Realizing that was a very freeing moment for me. And I think this card is a reminder that I don’t need to feel so defensive about my skills. I’m good and the key for me is accepting that within myself.