10 of Disks/Stones (Wheel of Change & Greenwood)

 

This is the third time I’ve drawn this card this month.  It seems to be connected to family issues for me, specifically those involving my in-laws.  Today we met with a representative from a home healthcare agency.  She was very nice and wanted to be helpful but ultimately was able to offer us no more assistance than anyone else has.  It turns out my brother-in-law (who is deaf and moderately retarded/developmentally disabled) is not sick enough for their assistance and my mother-in-law is not poor enough.  The system is completely screwed up when this is the type of response you get when seeking help.  As things stand right now they are stable but one little thing going off-kilter and that can change.

Although we would never abandon my in-laws, hubby and I are getting worn out.  We are both stretched very thing and feeling frustrated and trapped.  All those drums are quite attractive but on some level they are blocking our ability to move forward.  Even the house shown on the Greenwood 10 of Stones can be a trap – it is a responsibility and a chore sometimes, just as maintaining a house in real life is both a pleasure and a chore.  In many ways we realize how lucky we are that we can be there for the in-laws right now, when they need us most.  On the other hand the temptation to just chuck it all and put them in an institution sometimes becomes very strong.  Of course the reality is that we would never be able to live with ourselves if we did that without exploring every possible option first.

On another level, the 10 of Disks is about manifestation and cycles ending.  Perhaps that is another symbol – that there will be changes coming that will require us to make changes in our day to day physical lives.  We have reached the limit of what we can do in the current situation and with the current circumstances.  I can hope that this is a sign that perhaps our financial situation will change; perhaps one of us will return to work.  I have also reached a place in my own mind where I have come to realize that I don’t need to have one option for generating income.  I can chose several different paths so that I am less at risk if one of them becomes a problem; play several different drums so that I don’t grow bored and they don’t wear out.  It gives me several options to consider but at least things are looking up.

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