10 is the number of perfection, completion and wholeness. It can mean something is over but not finished and about to begin again.  Wands are associated with inspiration, energy, passion, feeling, enterprise, ambition, matters pertaining to the “spark of life”, and the element of fire.  Traditionally this card symbolizes a time of burdens being released and accepting our limitations.

“The role you’re playing is comfortable and working well but you’re aware that it’s not changing much anymore. You feel like you’re in a rut with your personal growth and direction. It’s a comfortable rut so it’s hard to make a move to get out of it.  Staying at this level for too long will lead to stagnation.  You are aware that it is a choice point in your life but for now you’re sitting on the fence.” – Gail Fairfield

The figures on the Tarot of Dreams and Ferret deal with this situation in very different ways.  The man on the 10 of Wands in the Tarot of Dreams in kneels on the floor and is curled over with 10 interlaced wands hovering above him.  They seem to be pressing him down and his posture is an effort to prevent being broken by them.  The ferret on the Ferret 10 of Wands is visible tired and seems to be struggling with his burden but he is still moving forward and refuses to let them hold him back.  I want to be like this ferret.

Once again I heard a lyric from a song when this card showed up.  It’s from The Beatles “Carry That Weight”, “Boy, you’re gonna carry that weight,
Carry that weight a long time, Boy, you’re gonna carry that weight, Carry that weight a long time.”  Right now that is exactly how I feel.  I know that the weights I carry are my choices and my decisions but right now they feel like the chains that weighed down Marley’s ghost in A Christmas Carol.  To paraphse Lily von Shtupp in Blazing Saddles, “I’m tired”.  I take responsibility for forging these chains but right now I really wish I could be free of them.  Of course the problem is that the chains are ones of family obligation and responsibility.  They are, at a minimum, recompense for past support and aid.  More than that, I cannot bring myself to put a woman whose only fault is that she is becoming more dependant than either of us would like into a nursing home.  Everything is made more difficult by the fact that taking that step would entail putting my deaf and developmentally disabled brother-in-law in a facility too.  A move that I am sure would cause him to shut down and possible die.

On top of these type of issues, finances are becoming a challenge.  Once again, this is a matter that I could probably fix if I were willing to take a traditional, 9-5 job.  I’m hoping to find the way to establish myself as a Tarot reader and possibly teach a few classes at a local community college.  I think I can do this but there is always those nasty self-doubts that rise up to nibble and gnaw away at my self-confidence.

Of course the positive side of this card is that it also signifies that this burden is coming to an end.  It suggests that I will soon be able to re-allocate or release some of these burdens and move forward.  I’ll be able to explore new territory and expand my horizons.  I’ll be able to break free of the rut in which I currently find myself.  I can balance these burdens more judiciously and figure out ways to allocate some of them to others in my life.  There must be resources out there that can help with some of these issues.  I need to focus on activating them so I can begin focusing on igniting my spark and letting my creative juices flow.