COTD – 5 of Cups/Music R (Hudes & Blake)

 

The number 5 represents that added something that brings the situation out of balance again.  It represents the struggle and challenge of inner and outer growth.  Cups are associated with emotions, love, pleasure in life; matters pertaining to the unconscious, intuition and the inner planes, and the element of water.   This card often symbolizes the need to let go of our emotional connection to something that has passed out of our lives.

“You are feeling challenged on a psychic or intuitive plane.  You may be experiencing something on the psychic level that is making your feel uneasy.  You are making adjustments in the ways you use your intuition.  You could also be going through some private emotional adjustments.” – Gail Fairfield

Blake LWB:  “Seek to transform your emotional pain into artistic gain by expressing what you feel and what you have learned from personal experience.”

When I drew this card this morning my first thought was a snickering “Hmph, all those folks that are disappointed that The Rapture didn’t occur as promised need to move on.”  On it’s surface, that is certainly an acceptable, applicable meaning to this card.  It is about releasing sadness and grief; not letting ourselves get so caught up in feeling melancholy that we can’t move forward.  It reflects the need to focus on what we still have in our lives and hold on to the joy and happiness they bring us.

The phrase on the Blake 5 of Music, “Whatever is Born of Mortal Birth, Must be consumed with the Earth, To rise from Generation free:  Then what have I to do with thee?” sounds so disconnected and unemotional that it is a bit unsettling.  Is it being asked of the person in the card or is the person the one asking?  Is this what happens to our spirit when it is no longer attached to the physical realm?  Can we no longer feel the connection to those who have been left behind?  Perhaps that is the price the spirit pays for enlightenment or moving on to a different plane of existence.  It almost seems as though it is being spoken by one who feels he/she is god-like.  Their humanity has been left behind where others can mourn its loss but it’s previous owner no longer cares.

It seems to me that is the catch to this card.  We must be careful not to become so lost in our mourning and grief that we cannot move forward and appreciate what is still with us.  At the same time we do not want to become so detached and unemotional that we no longer feel anything at the things we’ve lost in our lives.  If we follow that road, we risk becoming almost inhuman in our detachment and deny ourselves the richness that comes from our emotional connections to others.

On a personal level, this card brought to the fore a lot of memories of my brother Tom who was murdered in 1986 when he was 16 years old.  I realize that although I will always miss Tom and would desperately love to still have him with us, I can’t (and haven’t) let it freeze me in time.  I have moved forward with my life and yet I continue to mourn his death.  He will always live in my heart and memories even if he is not here.  The wound had scabbed over but never really heals.  Certain things can rip it open and cause fresh blood to pour forth.  That happened Friday and today while watching the Dr. Phil show.  He was dealing with a mother whose 12 year old daughter, Shanda, was brutally tortured and killed by four 16 year old girls in 1992.  The mother and her older daughter are still visible grieving for Shanda and hold a lot of anger, hatred and bitterness towards the killers.  At one point they confronted one of the woman who killed Shanda and it was painful to watch.  The now adult woman obviously had no insight into what caused her 16 year old self to participate in such a callous, horrific act.  The mother and daughter were in pain and furious at not getting the answers they sought.  Of course the reality is that no explanation would justify this woman’s behavior or healed the mother and daughter.  I can completely understand this.  I am not evolved enough to have forgiven the man who slaughtered my brother. However I realized that appearing on this show and addressing the topic was not healing for anyone involved.  It might have made for great ratings but it dredged up a lot of painful, sad and awful memories without offering any resolution or healing.  I suppose it is possible that the mother and daughter were offered counseling by Dr. Phil but if so, I didn’t catch that.

For me, this highlighted why it is important to let yourself heal and move passed the pain and grief.  It doesn’t mean that we’ve forgotten the one who was lost.  It means that we are still open and able to allow new people into our lives who might bring new joys and new memories.  It means that although we never forget what we lost, we still look forward to finding something.  Our hearts are not sealed off like a tomb.  Instead they are under renovation for a period of time.  And when they re-open they may still have some scars and wounds but they are able to embrace new relationships, new joys and new happiness.

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